Save the Last Dance (13 page)

Kate suddenly felt faint. “T-too late?”

“Too late to try for an annulment, so we can clean up this mess as quickly as possible.” Sylvia leveled a contemptuous look at her. “Before you come up with any other complications so you can hang on to your foolish dreams.”

“A
N ANNULMENT
,” Kate said, two weeks later, keeping her voice flat and unemotional. “Your mother wanted you to pursue an annulment before ‘something happened.’ And now something has. I guess you made a big mistake, not listening to Lionel and her.”

Jared stilled, staring at her across their small kitchen table. “We stood together against them, didn’t we? We’re both still in college, with 4.0 GPAs. No matter what they said, we’re going to succeed. So what’s wrong?”

She met his steady gaze, reading the love and determination in his beautiful, smoky gray eyes. Knowing it might change in a minute if she gathered enough courage to tell him.

And the two more years of vet school after this one, then the surgical residency she’d planned on long before she’d even started school. What about that? Now her future stretched ahead, down
the same dark road her mother had been on during her own life, and the thought of it twisted Kate’s insides into a painful mass of tension.

She turned away and braced her hands on the kitchen counter. “I’m pregnant.”

“Be serious. Tell me what’s really wrong.” He moved to stand behind her and clasped his hands in front of her waist to pull her close. “Don’t even think about what my mother and Lionel said.”

She bowed her head. “I never once missed one of my pills. Never, ever. They’re supposed to be so reliable. But I’ve been queasy every morning for the last week, and I finally went out to buy one of those kits at the drugstore.”

He rested his chin on top of her head. “And?”

“The strip turned blue. I can’t believe it. We had everything planned so well. We’d finish school. We’d each set up a practice in a perfect little town somewhere.” She was babbling, and she just couldn’t stop. “We’d get ourselves established, and in a few years we’d have a nice house and would start thinking about a family. Not now. Dear Lord, not now.”

“You
are
serious.”

“Am I laughing?”

After a long silence, Jared dropped his chin to
her shoulder and rested his cheek against hers. “Tell me how you feel about this. Really.”

“Scared. Worried. Confused.” She swallowed hard. “Afraid of what you’re going to say next.”

Another silence stretched so long that she finally squeezed her eyes shut and gathered the remnants of her courage. “Your mom told me how ending your other engagement cost you a very advantageous marriage. How that will hurt your future. Or your sister’s. And now…now this. I am so, so sorry. If…if you want your freedom, I’ll understand. I can be out of here in a few hours, and—”

“Stop.” His voice was low and fierce. “Unless that’s what you really want.”

“I know you’re an honorable guy. It’s one of the things I love about you. But you don’t want to saddle yourself with a pregnant wife at the age of twenty-two.”

“Just tell me one thing. Do you want to keep this baby?”

Aghast, she pulled away and turned to face him. “You don’t need to even ask that question. I may not have experience with living in anything but a dysfunctional family, but there’s no way I could ever end this life inside me. And there’s no way I could ever give it up. So you see? This is a good
chance for you to leave—before things get messy and complicated.”

He swore softly under his breath. “You don’t know me at all if you think I’d walk out on you. I’m your
husband.
”

“And those things can be fixed. Just ask your friend Lionel.”

Jared rested his hands on her shoulders. “There’s nothing I need to ask him. It’s you and me, babe—now and forever.”

Her heart lifted on an ember of hope. “Really?”

He sighed with obvious relief. “We can make it. It’ll maybe be a little tough for a few years, but hey—we’ve got scholarships and good loans, and with our part-time jobs…” He kissed the tip of her nose. “We’re in this together for the long haul. And hey—this way, we’ll be young enough to really enjoy our family.”

She leaned against him, absorbing his warmth, savoring the solid muscle of his chest. Was it possible that things could work out? “I love you,” she whispered against his shirt. “There couldn’t be a more wonderful guy than you in the entire world.”

He rocked her in his arms, as if slow dancing to music that only he could hear. “You and I are more alike than you know. Neither of us had it easy as kids. But we’re going to do this right.”

T
HE NEXT EIGHT MONTHS
passed in a blur. Late-night study sessions. Tests and papers and labs. Spring term followed by summer school, and then the start of the fall semester. By then, Kate felt as unwieldy as a Holstein ready to deliver triplets.

The summer job she’d started in June at a nearby drugstore had helped keep groceries on the table, but now unseasonably hot and humid September weather had descended. The air conditioner at the store couldn’t keep up, and even with the fans blowing and the windows open at home she felt miserably hot and sticky. She spent more and more hours at the library, just trying not to melt.

She’d been able to hide her pregnancy until this month with baggy flannel shirts over loose overalls—a common uniform for ag students on campus, luckily. But T-shirts were more revealing, and the manager had frowned at her today, then muttered something about cutting her hours.

Lifting boxes in the back storeroom probably hadn’t been the best idea, but she’d been desperate to prove that she could still pull her own weight.

With temperatures approaching ninety and the humidity at least that high, even the library didn’t provide enough respite, so she’d gone home to study.

She stretched, glancing at the clock and wishing Jared was home. But he’d gone to a two-day
law conference in Chicago and wouldn’t return until tomorrow night. Lucky guy—conference hotels were invariably air-conditioned to almost chilly, which would feel just about right, today.

She winced as a muscle cramp tightened across her lower back.

Despite lifting those boxes earlier, she’d been careful to avoid doing anything that might endanger the baby.

Another muscle spasm radiated across the same area. More intense this time—and a frisson of alarm shot through her.

It was too early. The doctor at the free clinic had given her a due date four weeks from now.

And worse, Jared wasn’t in town.

She swallowed a bitter laugh as images from recent TV commercials flashed through her thoughts.

Perfect, sunlit nurseries.

Doting grandparents, smiling into a lace-festooned bassinet, hugging the daughter who had given them a precious grandchild.

There’d be none of that for her.

When she’d first called her mother to tell her about the pregnancy, Francine had blearily said it was bad news and would ruin Kate’s life.

Sylvia, her usual friendly and loving self, had
been appalled at this additional complication that would ruin her precious son’s future. She’d been coldly polite over Easter and the Fourth of July, and she’d never called for any warm and happy chats about the baby, though Jared always brought the subject up anyway, each time they saw her. Julia—wide-eyed and subdued—had clearly heard their mother’s diatribes at home and kept her own careful distance from them.

Nope, it was just the two of them, and now Jared wasn’t even here. But this was just a simple muscle spasm, nothing more. It had to be that.

There’d be no use in calling Sylvia or her own mother.

And for the first time in her life, Kate knew she’d come up against something she couldn’t face alone.

A
LONE
CERTAINLY NEEDED
definition.

Her contractions started in earnest an hour later, then rapidly escalated to a steady eight minutes apart. By three o’clock in the morning, she gave up and took Murphy to the neighbor’s place, then drove herself to the hospital, hoping she’d be sent home at least until Jared’s return in the evening.

The nurse in the E.R. didn’t appear very sympathetic as she ordered Kate into a wheelchair and
called for a volunteer to take her upstairs. “You want to wait another fourteen hours? You’ll be a momma by then.”

The nurses upstairs were even less encouraging about a delay, and ten minutes later, Kate was gowned and admitted after making a quick call home and leaving a message on the machine.

The bright lights of the hospital had seemed warm and welcoming when she arrived, and she’d felt a momentary sense of relief.

The labor and delivery rooms bustled with activity and people. Nurses. Nursing students. A flock of residents who looked even younger than her, and who were probably in the first days of their OB rotation, given their nervous gestures and surreptitious glances at the pocket-size references crammed into their lab coats.

Lots of people, yet she’d never felt more alone.

Not so fast, little one,
she whispered under her breath.
Maybe your daddy can still get here in time.

But four hours later, her contractions were coming hard and fierce, and she was ready to do anything to have the baby come now, whether Jared was here or not.

Every so often a herd of people in white coats trooped into her room to listen to the baby’s heart
beat and to check her IV, blood pressure and dilation—which had gone exactly nowhere.

Three centimeters at four o’clock in the morning, then six at ten o’clock.

By midafternoon, the doctor started a Pitocin drip. At five, she came back and broke Kate’s water, then began murmuring to the nurses about starting Nubain for the pain, and Kate first heard the words
epidural
and
C-section.

An hour later, a different nurse came in with a bright smile. “We’re doing a quick ultrasound, and then the doc is coming in so you two can talk.”

Exhausted, Kate concentrated on her breathing, trying not to steel herself against the searing crescendo of yet another contraction. “I wish my husband were here,” she whispered through parched lips.

The nurse made sympathetic noises as she handed over a miniscule amount of ice chips in a paper cup. “I’m sure you do, honey. But nature takes its own course.”

“W
ELL, WELL
,”
THE DOCTOR
said with a smile. “Aren’t you the surprise.”

Kate rolled her head on the pillow to look at her.

“There’s nothing in your records about this, but it sometimes happens. Even after repeated
ultrasounds during a pregnancy, we can miss seeing things.”

Her heart abruptly lodging in her throat, Kate stared at the doctor and forgot to breathe for a moment. “Is…is something wrong?”

“Goodness, no—though you’re going to be a tad busier than you thought.” The doctor’s smile widened as she looked over her shoulder and beckoned, and then Jared was suddenly there by the bed, wearing a blue hospital gown and cap, a mask loosely draped around his neck.

“Hi there,” he said softly, his eyes warm with love and concern as he took her hand and brushed a kiss against her cheek. “Looks like you’ve had a big day.”

It took a moment for everything to register.

She reached for him, then fell back against the pillows and looked at the doctor. “Busy?”

The doctor beamed. “There are
two
little ones waiting to meet you. It happens sometimes—a surprise to everyone. But we’re going to need to take you up to surgery right away. There’s a bit of a traffic jam going on, and you could labor until the Fourth of July and not make any progress.”

Kate and Jared both stared at her in shock.
“Two?”
they said at the same time.

“An extra blessing, don’t you think? But one of them is showing signs of distress, so we need to
get in there and help out, STAT.” The doctor nodded at someone standing in the doorway, and immediately, two orderlies came in with a gurney. “We’ll use a regional anesthetic so you can stay awake, and your husband can be there for you. See you upstairs.”

T
HE DELIVERY ROOM
on the surgical floor might have been more daunting if Kate hadn’t recognized a lot of the equipment and supplies from those she’d seen every day at the vet school. The friendly chatter of the surgical team added an extra measure of comfort.

The Minnesota Twins’ win last night.

Fishing.

The hospital’s annual employee picnic.

Then an abrupt silence fell.

The stainless-steel table was cold and hard against her back through the thin drape, but the intense expressions in the eyes of the surgical team, coupled with their ongoing silence, filled her with an even greater chill.

“Is something wrong?” She gripped Jared’s hand tighter. She heard the panic rising in her voice and tried to quell it, but her anxiety exploded. “What’s going on? Tell me!”

Another masked face moved into her field of vision and loomed over her. “You’ve got a beau
tiful little girl who’s doing just fine. You’ll get to see her in a minute. Your son is having a bit of trouble, but they’re transferring him to NICU right away. Just hang on.”

“Will he be okay? Is he all right?”

Above Jared’s own mask, she could see his face blanch and knew he was looking over the draped curtain that had been set up across her chest to the frantic activity taking place across the room.

And then, the activity suddenly ceased.

The world spun as she gripped Jared’s hand, too frightened to speak. Even before his soul-crushing words, she knew that they’d lost their son.