Save the Date (7 page)

“I’m sorry. That must’ve been awful.” Bringing my hands together, I fingered the bottom of my glass. “That’s different than my situation though.”

His brows quirked. “How?”

I gestured with my free hand. “You were young. It wasn’t day-to-day. You didn’t study human behavior for a living—”

“It still hurt,” he cut me off, his voice tight. “I got played, and doubted myself.”

I scoffed. “How could
you
doubt yourself?”

He leaned close. “How could I not?”

Unable to believe he’d asked such a crazy question, I blurted, “Because,
she
was the skank. You’re . . .
perfect
.”

He blinked, as if surprised. Then he ran his thumb along my cheek. “So are you.”

My skin tingled where he touched me, and I stared up into his deep brown eyes that simmered, focused completely on me. I knew this non-date hadn’t been a good idea.

I blamed that look, which clearly did wild things to me, because I sat up, tossed the life preserver aside, then snaked my hand around his neck. I leaned close, an inch away from him, and watched his eyes darken—then I pressed my mouth to his. As soon as our lips touched, tingles spread across my chest.

Suddenly, I felt free. Like nothing mattered other than Ethan’s lips against mine. Then, his mouth parted, his tongue connecting with mine, sending an electric current straight through my belly. He tasted of spicy wine, the flavor delicious, and addicting. I needed more.

I knew I
should
stop. But, really, what would a few more kisses hurt?

His fingers laced through my hair, while his mouth devoured mine with undivided attention—sending tingles to places where, I’m sorry, but friends just didn’t go. Although I seriously wanted to. “This is so past the friend zone,” I mumbled, pointing out the obvious.

He pulled back slightly, searching my eyes. “Do you want to stop?”

I didn’t hesitate. “No.”

“Good.” He chuckled, then captured my mouth with his. This time more urgently. Oh, yes. More. I couldn’t catch my breath with his tongue melting with mine in a way that felt so right. It shot all kinds of warning signals flashing in my head. Kissing Ethan felt good. Too good. I wanted to savor every second of it.

But it could only end in one way. And the feelings I had for Ethan were way stronger than I’d had with Jake. Since Jake had devastated me, I couldn’t imagine what the pain would be like from Ethan.

I pulled back. “Wait.”

Brushing his hand against my cheek, his lids were heavy as he studied me. “What’s wrong?”

Shaking my head, I had to force the words out. “I can’t do this.”

His eyes peered into mine. “Why not, honey?”

My chest ached, and a big part of me wanted to give in. “I can’t go through all that again. I just can’t.”

He leaned his forehead against mine. “I’d never hurt you.”

I wanted to believe him. Really,
really
wanted to, but . . . “I’m sorry.”

Forcing myself away from him, I popped off the bench, then discarded the empty wine cup in the trash.

Ethan came up behind me, put his hands on my hips, and rested his cheek next to mine. “Talk to me.”

Even though I wanted to melt against him, I wasn’t sure if I could trust him. Wasn’t sure if I could trust my own feelings for him no matter how amazing he seemed.

I turned, and held my hand up. “Just take me home. Please.”

A flicker of hurt flashed across his face, like he didn’t understand what had changed when I’d so clearly been into him. He ran his finger along my jawbone. “If that’s what you need.”

Avoiding his eyes, I nodded. “Thank you.”

We drove back to Sac in silence. Ethan may seem flawless, but I’d been a terrible judge of character before, and we all knew history tended to repeat itself.

Ethan was just too tempting for me. From now on, I needed to stay away from him. Completely away from him.

Chapter Five

The next day at noon, Ellen, Rach, and I sat on a red velvet bench at Cafe Mattia, waiting for a table. It had been hard denying my feelings for Ethan before. Now that I’d kissed him, it was impossible. Especially when I kept replaying those kisses in my head.

Feeling desperate, I decided to level with my friends about what happened with Ethan last night. Just as I opened my mouth to spill all, Rach grabbed my arm.

“I found something,” she said, staring at me wide-eyed. “Noah is the one who contacted Kate. Not the other way around.”

Ellen tossed me a hostile glance.

Feeling guilty, I swallowed. “Did Noah tell you
she’d
called
him
?”

The hostess announced my name, and we paused our conversation until she seated us at a secluded table in the corner.

Rach sat down, then shook her head. “He didn’t say who initiated the dinner. But, don’t you think it’s odd? If she was really coming into town for work, wouldn’t
she
have let
him
know?”

Witnessing her paranoia felt like looking into a mirror. Was mistrusting Ethan this irrational? “Kate could’ve posted online that she had business in Sac, then Noah called. Knowing who initiated the call isn’t evidence that he’s doing anything sketchy.”

“I know it’s not enough evidence.” Rach swallowed, then glanced up at us slowly. “That’s why I cracked the password on his credit card account.”

Ellen’s eyes bulged. “You
what
?”

My mouth dropped open, and I covered it with my hand. Seemed like I’d unwittingly unleashed the private investigator in Rach. “How’d you manage that?”

Probably not important, but my curiosity had gotten the best of me.

Rach wore a sinister look that I actually found a little intimidating. “He only has two email accounts, and he used his home email address. His password was harder to narrow down. Took me until two in the morning to nail it. It’s his favorite sports team plus his birth date backwards.”

I hid behind my one-page menu to ward off the daggers Ellen was shooting me with her eyes. Although I was the unlucky recipient of Ellen’s scowl, I had to agree with her. I’d created a monster. And it was scary.

The waitress came over and we ordered the usual.

I cleared my throat, thinking of how to say this gently. “I know I told you to keep your eyes open, but cracking Noah’s password might be going overboard. Imagine how you’d feel if he did that to you. I think you should try talking to him instead.”

Ellen let out a sigh of relief. “See? I told you, Rach. You’ve gone off the deep end and need to come back to reality. Like Kristen finally has.”

Her expression told me she wasn’t too convinced of my sanity though, and I was insulted. “What makes you think I’ve gone off the deep end?”

A horselaugh escaped her mouth. “I don’t
think
you’ve dived off. I know it. Gina knows it. And Rach knows it, too.”

My mouth dropped open indignantly, and I rolled my head in Rachel’s direction. “You, too?”

Rach put a hand her chest. “Well, you seem like a different person since you found out about Jake.”

My friends had turned on me. That’s all there was to it. “I’m the same person. Just more cautious.”

“You’re hiding.” Ellen’s tone was gentle when she said this. “It’s like you’re afraid to make any decisions in case it’s the wrong one.”

I leaned back in my chair, and crossed my arms. “Two days before my thirtieth birthday and I find out what my friends really think of me.”

“We think the world of you, girl.” Rach seemed offended that I’d think otherwise. “Why else would we tell you to snap out of it?”

My brows came together. “What?”

It was Ellen who spoke. “Start making decisions that move your life forward. We’ve all been screwed over at one time or another, but it’s like you’ve given up.”

I shook my head. “I’m rebuilding my life.”

“By keeping a distance from what you care about.” Ellen put a hand on my arm. “Your career. Dating—”

Straightening my spine, I said. “I went on a date last night.”

Both of their jaws nearly hit the floor.

“What? With who?” Ellen said.

I bit my lip. “Ethan. Really it was more of a non-date.”

My diversion had worked, but they seemed way too excited about my weak mistake.

“What’s a non-date?” Rach blinked, as if confused. “Is this some kind of dating foreplay thing, like when Gina and Chris pretended to be girlfriend and boyfriend just because they couldn’t admit they were hot for each other?”

“No.” I shook my head, adamantly. “It was just dinner and wine on a boat and . . . we may have kissed.”

Rach squealed.

Ellen’s hands flew to her cheeks. “How was it?”

“I’m not doing it again.”

We paused for a moment while the waitress set our meals down in front of us.

“Thank you,” Ellen said, then wrinkled her nose. “Not good, huh?”

Remembering the feel of Ethan’s mouth on mine gave me chills. “Oh, it was amazing.”

Her brows came together. “Then why won’t you go out with him again?”

My eyes burned. “So I don’t have to stay up all night cracking the password to his emails.”

“It was his credit card account.” Rach pointed out.

“Whatever.” I imagined Ethan cheating on me and my heart broke a little, and I didn’t even love him yet.

“I trust Henry with all my heart.” Ellen’s green eyes stared at me first, then at Rach, and finally her mouth curved upward. “I’m pregnant.”

Rach’s squeal was piercing. “You are?!”

“Congratulations,” I said, watching Rach throw her arms around Ellen.

I couldn’t help but think about all the ups and downs Ellen had gone through with men. So many, she’d resorted to scanning endless profiles from Sacramento’s
Detailed Dating
website to try to find her perfect match. Then she’d met Henry at the most unlikely place: a dog obedience class.

For Ellen and Henry, it’d been love at first sight. Four months later they were married. Now she was having his baby. Tears filled my eyes.

I wanted to believe they would last.

Rising from my chair, I leaned over, and gave her a squeeze. “How far along are you?”

She opened her purse, pulled out a small piece of paper, and handed it to me. “Eight weeks. That’s Baby’s first ultrasound.”

Rach made a cooing sound. “So that’s why you had a doctor’s appointment yesterday. I can’t believe you didn’t tell us sooner.”

Ellen twisted a strand of her dirty-blonde hair. “Henry wanted to wait.”

I stared at the picture of what looked like a blurry, white fan, which illuminated a black oval, encasing a long clump of fuzzy white. “Your baby looks like a peanut.”

Ellen laughed. “He really does.”

Rach’s eyes widened. “He? I thought you couldn’t tell the sex for months.”

“You can’t,” I said, remembering all the pregnant couples I’d counseled, who were arguing because one person wanted to know the sex and the other didn’t.

“Kristen’s right.” Ellen gave a contented smile, then we spent the rest of lunch chatting about her baby plans, and how Henry kept massaging her feet every night despite her telling him over and over that they weren’t even swollen yet.

Henry was a sweet guy. And, in many ways, he reminded me of Ethan, who I could totally picture doting on his pregnant wife.

My mind immediately conjured up images of Ethan massaging my feet, his eyes intent and focused on me. On the walk back to the office, my imagination played more tricks on me. A picture flashed in my mind of Ethan, me, and a dark-haired little girl with mocha-brown eyes. We were on Ethan’s boat. Motoring across a lake. We were happy.

My throat tightened, thinking of all the pain I’d been through last December. Then I remembered Ethan putting the red and white life preserver around me last night, so I could rescue myself from drowning. My stomach sank.

If only they made tiny floatation devices to save the heart.

****

“Your list idea worked.” Chloe’s smile radiated, as she sat behind her desk just before five o’clock that day. “My dream had never been about a career. I’d worked hard in college and after to be able to support myself, but what I’d always dreamed of was having a family. Being with my kids and my husband is my priority. I gave notice today. We’re moving to Oregon in a month.”

“I’m really happy for you.” A warm feeling flowed through me, the kind I used to get when one of my patients had a breakthrough. “Is now a good time for me to explain what an excellent Human Resources Manager I would make?”

Chloe opened a folder, and pulled out a piece of paper. “I’ve already spoken with Rich Woodward. The job’s yours if you accept our offer.”

“Thank you.” I scanned two duplicate documents, noting the company’s expectations, the two-year commitment, and impressive salary. This was a very good opportunity with an awesome company, which was exactly what I’d been looking for. “Should I sign it now?”

“Absolutely.” She handed me a pen. “I’ll interview another temp for the reception desk, but I can have Ginger fill in if need be, so you and I can start training on Monday. I want to make this transition as smooth as possible for the company. Although . . . legally, you have three days to change your mind.”

“All right.” I signed and dated the acceptance letter, thinking about how odd her tone had been when she’d advised me of my legal rights. I handed her back one of the signed letters, thanked her again, then headed back down to the reception desk.

I should’ve been elated that I’d found a new career, one with a generous salary to boot. But, instead, I felt numb.

Ethan sent me a text, asking how I was doing today. I wanted to tell him about my new job, but I needed to keep my distance from him.

I waited the rest of the day for the excitement over my new career to hit me.

It never did.

****

When I got to Totally Fit that night, I gave my leg muscles a break by avoiding the weights before Zumba class. My legs were grateful, I knew, because after dancing an hour of cha-cha, salsa, and even hip-hop, they didn’t crumble beneath me.