Save My Soul (28 page)

Anna rubbed her ass against him, and he tensed. So she did it again. His erection pressed into her back, and she couldn’t help another little wriggle.

“Anna . . . ” His tone was warning.

What was he going to do? Spank her? Hell, at this point she’d take anything. It was getting harder to wait. “Luc . . . please,” she whimpered still squirming against him.

He held her still. “I’ve told you, I can’t. Not without feeding. The only way would be if you didn’t get anything out of it, then I wouldn’t get anything out of it. It would be a pointless exercise and frustrate us both more.”

“But it’s been two days . . . please.”

What had he done to her? There was a time when once a week would have been just fine. She never would have dreamed the hardest thing about being with Luc wouldn’t be sharing him, but waiting for him.

“One more day,” he said as if she were grounded until then.

Anna ignored his pronouncement and started grinding again. He growled and nipped her shoulder. “I said stop it! Don’t you have any kind of desire not to die?”

She rolled to face him. “Can’t we . . . just a little . . . It doesn’t have to be actual sex . . . ”

He jumped out of the bed. “Goddammit, Anna. Sometimes I just want to drain you. Do you understand what you’re doing? Teasing a demon isn’t one of your better ideas. You’re just like Beatrice.”

Anna’s eyes blazed. There were many things he could say to her, many things he could get away with by offering a wink or caress, but that wasn’t one of them. She threw the covers back and stalked past him. The handle of the dresser drawer almost broke as she jerked it open to grab jeans and a t-shirt.

“I’m sorry,” he said following after her.

She held up a hand. “No, Luc. It’s already out there. You can’t take shit like that back.” She slammed the bathroom door in his face. Thinking better of it, she opened it again. “Oh, and just so you know, I plan to masturbate in the shower. And you aren’t invited to the show.” The door slammed again.

When she got to the kitchen, the harem was gathered around the table eating breakfast. She wanted to hurt them. She felt bad about it, but she couldn’t stop the feeling. She didn’t want to share him. And you don’t have to , a voice in her mind reminded her seductively. A voice that sounded too much like her incubus.

“Where’s Luc?” Anna wanted to know so she could avoid him. She was about to crawl out of her skin.

“He’s in the wine cellar, trying to get drunk again,” Renee said absently. The remark was followed by a dirty look, as if it was Anna’s fault he was trying to turn himself into a wino.

It wasn’t that the harem seemed to mind sharing him, they just resented Anna for not taking what he offered and becoming his mate. She had no idea why they cared. Were they trying to live vicariously through her? Or could they actually want him to be happy?

For a couple of weeks now, she’d toyed with the idea of giving him her soul. Would it be so bad? He loved her. He had to, to not have killed her already. If she were him, she would have.

She grabbed a muffin and headed toward the library. When she reached the trap door that led to the cellar, she heard Luc curse and smash a wine bottle against the stone wall below. He definitely wasn’t going to get drunk if throwing them was his method. She should be more angry that he’d turned her into this obsessive creature. Instead, she was counting the hours until he’d be inside her again.

There was one of two ways this could end. His Beatrice comment hadn’t just pissed her off, it had stung. She was going to prove she wasn’t like the last woman he’d loved. She edged closer to the oak table with all the books on it, listening in case Luc came upstairs.

When it seemed he was staying for awhile, she shuffled through the weathered volumes until she found the one she was looking for; then she slipped out the front door into the morning sunlight.

Tam seemed surprised to see her.

“Hey,” Anna said.

“Hey, yourself. Come on in.” She stepped back to allow Anna into the house. Tam eyed the book.

“I’m considering it.” Anna didn’t have to elaborate. Tam knew what it was. It had been the subject of tearful phone calls for the past three weeks.

“I see. You want coffee?”

“That’s it? I see ? This is monumental. It’s forever. I’ve known him a little over a month. You aren’t going to give me a lecture about it?”

“I told you I think he’s perfect for you. What’s with the book?”

“It’s about the ritual.” Anna sat on one of the bar stools and flipped it open while the music of dripping coffee filled the room.

“Oh,” Anna said, dismayed.

“What is it?”

The book didn’t just give details of the ritual, it talked a bit about the relationship after. She pointed to the page.

“So?” Tam said. She seemed honestly baffled by Anna’s distress.

“You don’t see the problem here?”

“Not really. I mean you don’t want to share him. What did you think was going to happen? He isn’t suddenly changing species.”

“But it’s not just that he can be exclusive. He still has to feed, and he’ll only be able to feed from me. There’s no, Sorry honey, not tonight I have a headache . That’s a lot of pressure.”

Somewhere deep down she’d known this. After all, that was the idea if you gave a demon your soul. You belonged to them forever.

“And you’re honestly complaining? Besides, since he won’t be able to kill you, I think you could get out of it on occasion . . . you know if you go crazy and forget how good he is in bed. You got real intimate with the details after that first time. I’m considering hunting down my own incubus.”

Anna shut the book. “Do you understand how much control he has already? Do you know what I’ve become? I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I can’t give him that. I’m not that girl.” She needed to breathe into a paper bag.

Tam handed her a cup of coffee instead. “So what are you going to do? Because I don’t see you sharing him forever. This month has been hell on you. And then there’s the bond. Can you be tied to him like this for years?”

“I have to get it reversed.” Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, even as she said it. She never should have slept with him. Never should have fallen for him. Fuck.

This was all wrong. It had to be the bond. Maybe it affected Luc, too. She didn’t want to think he’d been lying to her to take her soul all this time. If it wasn’t real, she wanted it to be an honest mistake at least.

He didn’t seem to have it in him to lie to her. Then again, he’d spent centuries lying to women. She thought she was above it? Like she was the one woman in all the world who had magic lie-detecting skills? Or that she was just so very special he’d never lie to her no matter his previous track record? There was a word for that type of thought process. Delusional.

The scar started to burn, and she rubbed her palm on her jeans to soothe it.

Anna was tired of being played with. She wanted it over. If she could reverse the mark and let Father Jeffries hide her away somewhere, she’d be okay. She’d gain control of her own feelings again. She’d be able to think straight.

Tam’s quiet voice interrupted her thoughts, and she realized the tears she’d been holding back had broken free. “If this is what you really want, I’ll help you find the ritual to undo it.”

“Father Jeffries has a book.” She didn’t want to reverse the bond, but she had to. If nothing else, she could still save her soul.

Pre-recorded Gregorian chanting infused the sanctuary as Anna waited for Father Jeffries to arrive. Her hand hadn’t stopped itching since she’d made her decision.

She was startled to see Caroline Johnson light a candle then sit in the first pew. Anna lit one out of habit and sat beside her.

“I don’t know what you did, but thank you,” Caroline said.

What had she done that warranted thanks?

“Sara called me. She’s herself again, and she’s going through the therapy sessions to get released. She said you went to see her.”

Anna had forgotten all about Sara in the midst of her soap opera. She’d meant to visit again after having the dream to let the girl know it was safe to leave. That had been the turning point, when she’d decided she’d been wrong about Luc.

Why was she here again?

“Father Jeffries called me,” Caroline continued. “He said you might need support, and I know a bit about the situation, how . . . seductive he can be . . . ”

Dreams or not, the woman had no idea how seductive Luc could be. She wondered what Caroline would think if she knew Anna had been the favorite wife in his harem for weeks now. She doubted she’d be sitting so close.

The clock chimed the hour, announcing Father Jeffries’ arrival. He stepped solemnly into the room, his cardboard box with supplies in tow. “We’re going to do the ritual in here,” he said. “It’s the most holy place in the church.”

Anna wondered if it had been determined to be the most holy place because it was the sanctuary or because it was the only room he hadn’t fornicated in. God, she felt dirty. She wanted to leave, but the expectant looks on the faces of the priest and Caroline made her stay.

Cain and Jackson hadn’t been back, but there was no guarantee they’d never return. Soon Luc would be out of the house, too. It wasn’t that she felt she needed protection as much as she needed help resisting him. She wondered if there was any magic on earth that would make such a thing possible.

The priest unscrewed the lid of the olive oil and set about putting a small drop on Anna’s forehead and hands. When the oil touched the scar, it burned with a new fervor. She flinched but didn’t cry out. He repeated the process with Caroline and, finally, himself.

He began chanting in a language she didn’t understand but didn’t recognize as Latin. She guessed spells didn’t translate over when the books hopped dimensions. Maybe they were too specific and something got lost in translation. He took loose herbs that he’d ground into a fine powder with a mortar and pestle and held his hand out for her.

She joined him in the center of the circle and he sprinkled the herbs over the mark. The scar burned more intensely as it tried to resist the spell, fighting for survival. A small part of Anna rooted for it to succeed.

Caroline grasped her other hand, telling Anna to fight it as if she were actively resisting the ritual. She wasn’t, but it hurt worse than any fiery hell she’d imagined. The chanting became louder and more forceful. Then, when she thought she’d pass out from the pain, the scar glowed bright red for a moment and faded to nothing.

Anna fell to the floor in the middle of the circle and sobbed, not knowing where the tears came from or why. She only knew that she felt nothing but bone-crushing loss. As if someone she loved deeply had just died.

She hadn’t understood how strong the connection would be or how abandoned she’d feel when it was broken. She realized then that she hadn’t felt alone in weeks; she’d felt . . . connected, pulsing with life. And now it was gone. The sharp starkness of reality pushed in on her faster and harder as she struggled to make sense of it.

Until that moment, she hadn’t known that she didn’t want to be free. Not from Luc. Laughter bubbled out of her. A loud, incongruous noise in the silence of the church.

“Now, don’t you feel better?” Father Jeffries said.

She couldn’t stop laughing. The priest and Caroline seemed to think she was laughing in relief because she was free. But it was the irony. She’d thought breaking the bond would solve her problem, make her not want Luc anymore. But her soul cried out to him stronger than before, and all she could think about was getting back to the house.

He’d be angry with her for taking her safety so lightly to escape him. She didn’t know if he’d renew the bond again now that she’d broken it. She didn’t care; she just wanted to be back with him. The rest could be sorted out later.

Suddenly, waiting and sharing seemed like silly reasons to leave when he was everything she’d ever wanted. It wasn’t like he wouldn’t wait for her. She could take her time, and when she was ready, they could be together in that forever she’d so feared. She didn’t have to run from him. Too bad she hadn’t figured that out before the bond was broken.

Anna managed to compose herself and wipe away the tears still clinging to her face. “I’m sorry I wasted your time, Father.”

“What? No! You can’t let him get to you. It’s a residual effect,” the priest said, now frantic. “We have to take you to another dimension and hide you.”

Anna shook her head. She knew now she’d never do that. She’d return to Luc and beg him to forgive her. She belonged to him, and he belonged to her. Mystical bond or no.

“I’m sorry.” She turned to leave, but Father Jeffries and Caroline were behind her.

The priest grabbed one of her arms, and Caroline grabbed the other. “We can’t let you leave. I have a duty to protect you,” he said.

Caroline’s hand encircled Anna’s arm, and rage like Anna had never experienced rose within her. She jerked free, jabbing the woman with an elbow.

Caroline landed on the ground. Her eyes held betrayal as she touched a finger to her bleeding lip. “I can’t believe you’d go back to that monster.”