Savage Urges (9 page)

She cocked her head. “You know, if you’re not frowning, you’re growling, or both.”

“And you’re avoiding my question. You do that a lot.” Ryan leaned forward, bringing his face close to hers. She lifted her chin, refusing to be intimidated. His wolf fucking loved that. “Why won’t you tell me, Kenna?”

The abbreviation of her name made her blink in surprise. “It’s
Ma
kenna. And we’ve talked about this, White Fang. You need to respect my boundaries.”

“Maybe. But I won’t.” The wild glint in her eyes sparked for a second. It was most likely wrong that her anger made his cock throb. But all that wildness . . . it was something that spoke to his wolf, something that Ryan would bet made her just as wild in bed. He wanted to find out, wanted to be balls deep in her with her pulse beating between his teeth.

“Stop looking at me like that,” she hissed.

“Why would I do that?”

“Look, I’m going to be straight with you. I don’t have a lot of free time, so I don’t do relationships. But I don’t do the bed-buddy thing either; bed buddies tend to want exclusivity.” Something dark and dangerous flashed in his eyes—a rare display of emotion that made her tense.

“No one but me will touch you.” His tone was even but implacable.

She cocked an impervious brow at him. “Oh? And why, pray tell, is that?”

“For the same reason I asked you to be safe for me. You’re my mate, Makenna.”

Her mind went blank for a moment. He was kidding, right? He had to be. Only . . . he didn’t look like he was. She cleared her suddenly dry throat. “Why would you think that?”

“I don’t think it, I know it. The facts are there.”

“What facts?”

“Since day one, all I’ve thought about is being balls deep in you. Your scent drives me insane. My wolf hates being apart from you. You’re an outsider, a loner, but I’d fucking kill to protect you. And I’d kill to possess you. I’m not a possessive person, Makenna. But I’d like to string Colton up by his intestines for touching you.”

Not for a single second would Makenna have guessed that he’d been feeling that way. He was too damn good at hiding his emotions. Her wolf was uncharacteristically quiet. Surprised? Alarmed? Curious? Makenna couldn’t tell.

Returning his honesty with her own, Makenna said, “I won’t say that the attraction is only one way. I admit, I don’t like it when females are mooning over you. And I don’t like the idea of you in danger. And my wolf . . . well, she feels the same way. But if we were mates, we’d
know
. We’d feel the pull of the mating bond.”

“Not if the frequency is jammed by mental barriers or anxieties about mating.” Wanting—no,
needing
—to touch her, Ryan shackled her wrist, circling her madly beating pulse with his thumb. “What do you fear, Makenna? What about mating makes you afraid?”

Her spine snapped straight. “Who says I’m afraid of mating?”

“I’ve watched you. A lot. You’re not easy to read. Mostly because you don’t act or think normally.” Why she looked proud of that, he wasn’t sure. “You put a lot of time and effort into helping others. But you don’t let many into your life. You step into their life, but you don’t let them step into yours.”

There was more truth in that than she was comfortable with.

“Maybe it’s because you don’t want them to know your secrets. Maybe it’s because you once lost someone important to you.”

Flushing, she tried to yank her hand away; he held it tight. “You can stop analyzing me now.”

“Those sort of issues would jam a mating frequency.”

“Did you ever consider—assuming we
are
mates—that maybe
you’re
jamming it, not me? You can’t tell me you don’t have issues of your own.”

“I have issues. But I haven’t let them blind me to the truth.”

As his eyes roamed over her face with a fierce possessiveness that made her stomach clench, she said, “You’re absolutely positive about this, aren’t you?”

“We wouldn’t be having this conversation if I wasn’t.”

“How long have you believed this?”

“Since yesterday.”

Well that explained the odd behavior he’d displayed. He’d probably felt as shocked as she was feeling right now. Honestly, Makenna had never imagined herself mating. Ryan was right; she didn’t know how to be open with people. A part of her had shut down after her mother died. For as long as she could remember, it had always been the two of them against the world—Fiona Wray had been everything to Makenna, her rock, her safe place.

Then she’d died, and Makenna had been lost.

So lost she’d sought sanctuary in her wolf form, desperate to escape the pain and grief. Her wolf, just as guttered, had turned half feral. When she was placed in the shelter by Social Services, Dawn and Madisyn brought her back from that state and forced her to grieve like a human. But even back in her human form, she’d remained half feral for a while, a state that had amplified those feelings tormenting her.

Dawn and Madisyn had offered her a shoulder to cry on, but Makenna hadn’t taken it. Hadn’t shared her grief with anyone. Instead, she’d turned inward, become her own rock. She didn’t rely on others for anything, and she liked it that way. A mate, however, would never accept that. As such, Ryan’s claim scared her.

Still, that bone-deep loneliness inside her reached out to him, wanted it to be true. Being independent gave her strength and a sense of security and control, but it also made her feel very alone. She’d accepted that, though. She’d thought she could handle it. It wasn’t until this very moment that she realized she felt as incomplete as her wolf—maybe even more so.

Still, Makenna didn’t know if she wanted to let anyone be her rock again. Ryan’s strength and air of self-possession drew her. It would be so very tempting to lean on him. But what if she tried that, what if she let herself hope, and it turned out that he was wrong? Makenna didn’t want to ever be that lost again.

Her wolf wasn’t caught up in any of Makenna’s issues, too elemental in her way of thinking. The animal didn’t recognize him as her true mate, but she wasn’t fussed by that. She saw a strong, dominant, reliable, loyal male who would make an excellent partner and give her what she wanted, including a pack.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” said Ryan. “I’ve been very honest with you, Makenna.”

She inhaled deeply. “I can see that you’re one hundred percent certain we’re mates, Ryan, but . . . I can’t say the same, I’m sorry.” The lonely part of her was sorry about that too.

His wolf snarled at the rejection, but Ryan simply said, “Okay.” He released her wrist to cup her chin. “But can you say that you’re one hundred percent certain that we’re
not
mates?”

She swallowed. “No.”

He gave a short nod. “That’s enough for now.” She was open to the possibility on some level, and that was something Ryan could work with. It was also more than he’d hoped for. But he didn’t like the weird look that surfaced on her face. “What is it?”

“Don’t get offended and growly, but we need to keep this to ourselves.”

“No.”

“For Zac’s sake. If he thinks that I—someone he trusts—might join your pack, it could sway him to do the same. He has to join for his
own
reasons, not because he thinks I might be there to protect him.” Particularly since there was a high chance that Ryan was wrong about them being mates. “Besides, he needs to feel that your attention is on him, that he’s your priority. Once you have his trust, it will be a different matter. But for now . . .”

Ryan was a contrary mixture of both pissed and proud. He did not like the idea of keeping his mate a secret. But she was right about Zac, and he was proud of how she was willing to put the kid first. It was typical Makenna, putting others before herself, and while that irritated him . . . “I agree that we should concentrate on Zac. For now.”

But his pack wasn’t stupid. They’d see that he was different with Makenna; they’d form their own conclusions. Hopefully, Makenna would soon form that same conclusion. He doubted she’d fully believe they were mates until she felt the tug of the bond. That meant he’d need to smash down whatever was jamming the frequency.

To do that, he’d need to gain her trust, get her to open up to him, and share all those secrets that acted as a wall between them. Only then would he be able to step fully into her life and become a part of it.

It wouldn’t be easy. Ryan was severely disadvantaged when it came to getting to know people, since he wasn’t really a talker. He wasn’t the type to confide in people, and he mostly kept his own counsel. But he couldn’t expect Makenna to open up to him if he didn’t do the same.

Another problem was that relationships required skills that Ryan simply didn’t have. He lacked pretty words and didn’t know how to make people feel good about themselves. He wasn’t very tactile or affectionate. Hell, he didn’t even know how to accept affection. What’s more, he could be pushy, abrupt, and overbearing—which weren’t exactly winning qualities.

However, he was also relentless and focused—which were traits that would help him achieve his current goal. And he
would
achieve it. Ryan never settled for anything less than what he wanted. And right now, Makenna Wray was the thing he wanted most. Nothing could make him walk away. Not her fears, not his faults, and not even her doubt that she was his mate.

CHAPTER EIGHT

M
ediation meetings were typically held on the territory of whichever mediator was dealing with the case. As such, Makenna found herself on a corner of Mercury Pack territory two weeks later. She and Madisyn sat on either side of Dawn at a long table, and all three stared boldly at the Alpha male opposite them.

He’d been looking especially smug since entering the clearing. His smirk had faltered somewhat when he caught sight of Ryan among the security team, which consisted of three other males and one female. Makenna was guessing they were Mercury wolves, much like the slim redhead sitting at the head of the table who was both an Alpha female and mediator.

Makenna could feel Ryan’s piercing gaze fixed on her with absolute precision. It always was. Despite the grave circumstances, his unbridled attention was heating her blood. He was still utterly convinced they were mates. “The facts speak for themselves,” he often said. That was something she agreed with, but she saw a different set of facts.

One, there was no mating bond.

Two, her wolf didn’t recognize him as her mate.

Three, mates completed each other—she had the kind of personality that would annoy Ryan rather than fit with his. Yes, he claimed to have been possessive, protective, and attracted to her from the start. But it was worth noting that those things hadn’t been enough to tempt him until he found himself convinced they were mates. Only then had he begun his pursuit.

If she was honest, though, she hadn’t tried very hard to push him away. In a world where she was surrounded by jaded people who’d suffered loss, betrayal, and pain, Ryan—with his loyalty and honor—was a breath of fresh air. He might not be sensitive or particularly empathetic, but he was
good
. Each time he stepped out of his comfort zone for Zac, each time he donated things to the shelter, and each time he swore to Dawn that he’d never allow Remy to take the shelter from her, he chipped away at Makenna’s defenses. And he damn well knew it.

Zac was totally won over by Ryan. They saw each other almost every day. After only a week, Zac had felt comfortable enough to go on day trips without her as an escort. Sometimes it would be him and Ryan alone; other times they would be joined by other members of the Phoenix pack. They had taken him to an amusement park, a bowling alley, and another football game, among other things.

Zac thoroughly enjoyed their contact, and he was always eager to see them. Nonetheless, he remained undecided about joining the Phoenix Pack. She knew it galled Ryan, and she could sense his eagerness to take Zac. But the kid had learned very early what it was like to be betrayed by those who were supposed to take care of him. He wasn’t going to risk that happening again by rushing into this situation.

Given how intense Ryan was and the danger that surrounded him like a cloak, she’d been surprised by just how comfortable Zac was around him. He actually preferred Ryan’s company to that of the other pack members—although Dominic was a close second. Maybe it was
because
of how strong and dangerous Ryan was. Ryan’s level of dominance most likely made him feel safe. Zac talked about him constantly . . .

Ryan said he’ll teach me how to track.

Ryan’s going to show me some combat moves.

Ryan promised me an iPad if I stop laughing at Dominic’s jokes.

Words like “fleek” and “awesome” were used a lot when describing Ryan. She was glad Zac had found a new role model, because she was far from a good one.

Pulling Makenna out of her reverie, the Mercury Alpha female cleared her throat. “I’m Shaya Critchley-Axton and I’ll be acting as a mediator in this dispute. I’m here to help this be a productive meeting by guiding the discussion, so you can communicate and explore your issues. Be aware that both parties are free to leave at any point. If you do so, a decision won’t be made in your absence. Now, starting with the applicant, could each party please introduce themselves?”

Remy slanted a look at the mediator that glinted with annoyance—that may have been because, according to Ryan, Remy had in fact tried to bribe Shaya. “Remy Deacon, Alpha of the Cedar Pack,” he said with supreme arrogance. “On my right is my Beta, Killian, and on my left is my Head Enforcer, Selene. Behind us are my five enforcers.”

Apparently it was supposed to be an intimidating sight. The fact that he felt the need to intimidate three females only served to confirm that he was in fact an asshole. Makenna was so tempted to question him about the rumors, but Dawn was right—he’d only cry “slander” to the council. It would work in Dawn’s favor if she were seen as a victim and he was perceived to be a bully trying to snatch the shelter from beneath her.

Shaya looked at Dawn. “As the respondent, can you now introduce yourself and your companions?”

“Dawn Samuels, owner of the shelter that Mr. Deacon seems to want, for a reason I can’t fathom,” said Dawn impatiently, as if Remy was a child asking for something he knew he couldn’t have. “Sitting on either side of me are two of my volunteers, Makenna and Madisyn.”

“Thank you,” said Shaya. “Next, you both need to outline the issue as you see it without interrupting each other. We’ll start with the applicant.”

Remy shrugged. “You know what I want, Dawn. We’ve discussed it before. The situation is very simple. I want to expand my territory by including the land your shelter sits on. I think we can agree that I’ve gone about this reasonably. I haven’t been confrontational, I haven’t made any threats, and I’m not proposing war. In fact, I’m offering you and your volunteers a place in my pack. That will give you protection, pack mates, and whatever help, support, and funding your shelter needs to keep running. It’s a beneficial situation for all concerned.”

Shaya spoke then. “Dawn, as the respondent, what’s your viewpoint on this?”

Dawn lifted her chin. “You say this is a beneficial situation, Mr. Deacon. And that confuses me. You see, I can understand an Alpha wanting to expand his territory, but there are other directions you can go in. My shelter is just a little spot on the map—it’s not what anyone would consider a prize. I don’t have alliances that could be useful to you, and the territory isn’t a beautiful stretch of land. Given all that, I really don’t see how you would benefit from this at all.”

Remy ground his teeth. His smug smirk had disappeared. “It’s true that there are other pieces of territory. But I believe your shelter is a good thing, and I wish to protect it. I have a high regard for you. Not many people out there would provide such a service. You have to admit that it would run more efficiently if you had the support of a pack.”

“It runs efficiently now. Why fix what isn’t broken?”

“How many people do you have working for you? Not many, I would think. I have the means to improve and expand the building, add more staff, and make it so that you can provide better care for the residents. There is no downside to that.”

“Actually—”

“And you can’t deny that trouble sometimes comes your way. Only recently there were humans petitioning to have the shelter shut down. Now, if it was considered shifter territory, the humans wouldn’t have the right to do any such thing. I don’t understand why you—why all three of you—wouldn’t want protection.”

“Yes, you do,” interjected Makenna, “because I’ve already explained it to you. Loners come to the shelter because it’s run by a loner. They would be too fearful to go to a pack for help.”

Madisyn spoke then. “And you’re either forgetting or ignoring that only Makenna is a wolf. Dawn and I are both felines. We wouldn’t feel comfortable in a wolf pack.”

Dawn nodded. “So . . . taking everything into account . . . no one at all, not even you, Mr. Deacon, would benefit from us agreeing to what you’re asking for.”

A muscle in his cheek ticked. “I’m sorry you see it that way. But I have to wonder, do you
really
see it that way, Dawn? Or are you being pressured and influenced by your two ‘volunteers’ here? Not for one moment do I believe they merely do volunteer work. In a sense, they are your enforcers. Maybe they like the power that gives them. Maybe they don’t want to give it up, and so they are trying to convince you to turn down my offer.”

“Or maybe you’re just talking out of your ass,” said Makenna.

Dawn’s smile was brittle. “Let me assure you, Mr. Deacon, that I have a mind of my own. Now, I’ve made my feelings on all this clear. I think you understand my point of view.”

His eyes darkened. “You don’t want me as an enemy.”

Makenna gave a false shiver. “Ooh, that almost sounded like a threat. Didn’t it, Madisyn?”

“Yep. And here I thought he was smart—well, sort of.”

There was a snort of amusement that may have come from the female wolf in the security team.

Selene snarled. “Remy, I don’t understand why you would want them in our pack, especially Super Bitch over there.”

Makenna smiled. “Aw, I do so love your pet name for me.”

“One day, you and me are gonna have a one on one,” growled Selene.

“I am
so
looking forward to that day,” said Makenna.

“I’m assuming, then, that an agreement can’t be reached between the two parties,” said Shaya. Remy grunted his assent while Dawn nodded. “Remy, do you wish to withdraw your application?”

“No,” he bit out. “I want that territory.” He leaned forward slightly, eyes drilling into Dawn, Makenna, and Madisyn. “And I
will
have it. Think very clearly about whether you really want this to go further. I can promise all three of you that you’ll come to regret it if you don’t agree, here and now, to give me what I want.”

Makenna pretended to consider it. “Nah.” She looked at Dawn, who shook her head. “Madisyn?”

“No, I’m not feeling better about Remy,” the feline replied.

Shaya leaned back in her seat. “Okay, then. In eight weeks this matter will go before the council. Unless, of course, both parties come to an amicable agreement within that time frame.” She rose from her seat. “And that concludes the meeting. Remy, you and your pack mates will leave first. After ten minutes, the respondent and her companions will leave. This is protocol to prevent confrontations from occurring between parties.” Selene appeared disappointed.

Remy slowly got to his feet, eyes narrowed at Ryan. “I’m not sure why you’re here.”

Ryan just gave him what Zac referred to as “the look.”

“He’s part of my security team today, as you can see,” said Shaya.

Remy ignored her, adding, “Seems to me like whenever I want to talk to Makenna,
you
turn up. I don’t like that.”

“Then don’t talk to her,” said Ryan, glaring at the fucker and enjoying the angry flush that stained his cheekbones. The male grated on every nerve Ryan had. His wolf was pacing, itching to surface and lunge at the prick. Ryan was sorely tempted. His muscles hurt with the strain of holding back. The only thing that kept him in place was the knowledge that attacking an Alpha, particularly one of a very large pack, would bring problems to his own. Remy would pay for what he’d done. Just not yet.

After a moment of strained silence, Remy glanced at Dawn, Makenna, and Madisyn. “I’ll see you all in eight weeks . . . if not before.” The latter words held a threat that made Ryan tense. He didn’t react, though, as he knew it was exactly what Remy wanted.

When the Cedar wolves were finally gone, Shaya puffed out a long breath and spat, “What a fucking dick. He needs to fucking choke on his own fucking balls, assuming the shithead has any.”

Makenna smiled. “I think I’m going to like you.”

“She uses bad words like an expert,” said Madisyn.

Shaya chuckled. “Thanks.”

“Taryn speaks highly of you,” Dawn told Shaya.

Shaya flushed a little. “Let me introduce you to these guys over here. We have my Beta, Derren, and three of my enforcers, Bracken, Roni, and Marcus. Marcus and Roni are mates; we share them with the Phoenix Pack, since that’s Marcus’s original pack.”

All of the guys were tall, hot, and exuded dominance. Roni was tall, though smaller than the males, dominant, and had a lethal vibe that Makenna liked.

“You’re the expert in these situations; what do you think will happen next?” Dawn asked Shaya.

“Taking into account Remy’s vow to have the shelter and his parting words, I’d say he’ll do his best in the next eight weeks to create a situation in which you need the protection and support he’s offering.”

“They’ll never need him,” Ryan vowed.

Shaya smiled apologetically at the females. “I’d love to give you the support of my pack, but I can’t. As the mediator—”

“You need to remain impartial and can’t get involved in disputes,” finished Makenna. “We get it.”

“The last thing we want is for you to lose your job,” added Dawn, and Madisyn nodded.

“Don’t worry so much about Remy,” advised Marcus. “You have the protection of the Phoenix Pack, and that’s no small thing.”

Ryan glanced at his watch. “I need to leave. I’m picking up Zac in an hour.”

After everyone said their good-byes, Ryan remained close to Makenna as he escorted her, Dawn, and Madisyn to the Mustang. He knew his stance was both protective and possessive, but hell if he could stop it. The amount of time he spent around Makenna hadn’t gone unnoticed by his pack. They assumed that he and Makenna were having a casual fling, and he allowed them to believe it, although it galled the possessive streak in him that he couldn’t declare the truth.