Savage Spirit (33 page)

The dead had been buried in a quick mass ceremony. Moon Shadow had performed his healing powers over the ill and wounded.

But those tasks had thus far not come near to making things right in the world of the Coyotero Apache.

Especially for Cloud Eagle, their leader.

Alicia knew that Cloud Eagle felt drained from the recent tragedies. He had confided in her and had told her that he felt out of control, as though he could not see to the welfare of his people as a chief was required to do.   She feared that he might even be considering handing the title over to somebody else, even though no one could have foreseen what was going to happen to his people. He was human, unable to perform miracles.

Nor could any other Apache.

Since the white man had arrived in the land of the Apache, nothing had been the same.

Alicia would even understand if Cloud Eagle's feelings for her turned into a silent loathing, for her skin was white.

So was her brother's.

She looked back at Charlie. Her own grief over how he had been treated came to her again, knocking the breath from inside her. Charlie was not an Apache, and look at how the white men had treated him!

Surely, she thought to herself, as astute as Cloud Eagle was, he would see this and not cast blame where it should not be cast.

Alicia's eyes were drawn to Cloud Eagle when he rose to his feet and suddenly left the lodge.

Her eyes wavered as she turned them back to her brother. Not wanting to worry Charlie, she held a sob deep within her throat. But deeply within her, where her emotions were born, she felt as though she were suffocating. Only days ago, she had been so wonderfully content as she and Cloud Eagle had spent time laughing and being carefree.

And oh, Lord, when they had made love!

It was as though she had floated into the heavens, the pleasure had been so sweet and wonderful.

And now it had all changed.   She doubted that it would ever be the same.

"Alicia, I can see that you are going through something deep and agonizing," Charlie said, reaching his hand to her cheek. "Honey, don't worry about me. I'll get my strength back soon. Nothing can hold me down for long."

"You've been through hell, yet you can still speak with so much hope?" Alicia said, resting the spoon in the bowl as her gaze swept slowly over her brother. Even through his thick red beard, she could see how gaunt his face was. On his scarred chest the stripes left from the whippings were oozing with infection.

A sob she did not want to set free jumped from her throat when she once again looked at the stub that had been Charlie's left arm.

"Now, now," Charlie said, watching the trail of her eyes over him. "Remember what mother used to say? It'll all come out in the wash?"

"You can joke at such a time as this?" Alicia said, wiping a stream of tears from her cheek. She forced a smile. "Keep it up, Charlie Cline. It's best to laugh about things instead of cry."

"I feel lucky that I even
survived
the cruelties at the outpost," he said, easing his hand to his side to support himself as he moved to a more comfortable position on the pallet of furs. "Of course, I lost one of my arms. But God, Alicia, at least I was spared my right arm. If I were left-handed, my career as an artist would be ruined. As it is, I can paint again soon and lose myself in my world of brushes and oils."

"You lost all of your supplies in the raid," Alicia said solemnly.

"There are plenty more where those came from," Charlie reassured her. "I only brought   half of what I owned with me. The rest are in my office back at the art museum in Saint Louis. And if I had lost everything, I'd just start fresh. I'd buy out Jackson's once I returned to Saint Louis. You know that I have always loved browsing in artist-supply stores. They always liked seeing Charlie Cline coming."

"You'd best eat more broth then," Alicia said, lifting the spoon to his lips again. "These next several days I've got to fatten you up, or no one back home will ever recognize you."

He reached out his shaky hand and eased the spoon aside. "You're going to go home with me," he said, more in a command than a question. "I won't stand for your staying behind. Not after what I've been through. You could be next, Alicia. Damn it, you could be next."

"Nothing is going to happen to me," Alicia said, firming her lower lip. "Most of those responsible for your incarceration are either dead or in jail." She gazed hauntingly toward the entrance flap. ''Except for . . ."

Charlie interrupted her. "There," he said flatly. "Don't you see? You know that Sandy Whiskers is out there somewhere, wreaking havoc. Who is to say that he won't gather together more outlaws and renegades and start his hellish raiding all over again? I'm sure he won't forget
you
. He'll come for you, Alicia. You can't be here, if he does."

"I can't leave Cloud Eagle," Alicia said, watching her brother's expression. "I love him. I will risk everything to be able to stay with him. Even my life, Charlie. Even . . . my life."

Charlie managed to lean up on his elbow. "You can't be serious," he gasped. "You? Live like an   Indian? You would willingly become one of the Apache's squaws?"

"A woman in the Apache stronghold is not referred to as a squaw," Alicia quickly corrected him. "That word is misinterpreted by the white man. To an Indian woman, the name squaw is insulting."

"Whatever," Charlie said, sighing heavily. "Just listen to me, Alicia. This isn't the sort of life you were raised into. Back home many comforts await you. Many available, unmarried gentlemen await your return. You could have your choice of admirers, Alicia. You could marry someone affluent who could give you the world."

Charlie's pleas were interrupted when Cloud Eagle returned. Alicia smiled at Cloud Eagle as he sat down beside her. She gazed then at a small wooden bowl, in which she could see a green mixture.

"I collected herbs and mixed them with river water for the sores on your flesh," Cloud Eagle said. He sank two fingers into the mixture, swirled them around until they were covered, then carefully applied this to Charlie's chest. "The herbs have much healing power. Then, if you wish, I shall bring my shaman to you for healing rituals."

As Charlie watched Cloud Eagle apply the medicine, marveling at how cooling it felt on his burning flesh, he was at first tense, then relaxed and eased his back down onto the furs and closed his eyes.

"No," he said thickly. "No shaman."

Charlie then slowly opened his eyes. "Cloud Eagle, I want my sister to return with me to St. Louis once I am well enough to travel," he   said. He stiffened when his words brought a quick anger to the depths of Cloud Eagle's eyes.

"Because of white men, this chief has already lost too much," Cloud Eagle said, not missing one stroke of his fingers as he continued spreading the herbal mixture on Charlie's sores. "Do you think I would allow you, a white man, to take anything else from me? Especially not my woman!"

Charlie swallowed hard. "But Cloud Eagle, Alicia's skin is white," he dared to say. "How can you separate her from the rest of us who are white?"

"Cloud Eagle does this easily," he said, his voice tight. "Her
heart
is Apache."

Charlie's eyes widened. "You are wrong," he said. He glanced at Alicia, who sat quietly by, watching and listening. "Nothing
about
her is Apache."

"The moment she gave herself to this Apache chief, she became Apache," Cloud Eagle said. He wiped the herbal mixture from his fingers with a buckskin cloth now that he had totally covered Charlie's festering sores.

A coldness spread through Charlie. He gazed at Alicia. The mere fact that she did not lower her eyes in shame over what Cloud Eagle had just revealed to him made him see that she had changed a lot since he had last seen her in Saint Louis. She had matured in many ways.

To realize that she had slept with the Apache made Charlie want to retch, for he had never been able to cast prejudices from his heart since he had first read about Apache slaughters in the Saint Louis newspapers.

He doubted that he ever would. Not even if Alicia stayed with Cloud Eagle and had children   with him. To him an Apache was an Apache. An Indian was an Indian. To him they were all savages.

Charlie had to believe that Cloud Eagle was only treating him civilly because of Alicia. If not for her, he was almost certain that he would have been left to die.

"Charlie?" Alicia said. She took his hand and squeezed it fondly. "Don't be alarmed by what Cloud Eagle said. I love him. You would also grow to love him if you were around him for long. Charlie, his personality is so much like our father's. He is one of the kindest, gentlest men I have ever known. I'm going to be his wife, Charlie. I'm going to bear his children. Say that you accept this. Please tell me that you will give me your blessing." She hung her head, then looked slowly up at him again. "Besides Cloud Eagle, you are all that I have left of family."

"Besides Cloud Eagle?" Charlie said incredulously. "You refer to him as family?"

"He is family, Charlie," Alicia said stubbornly. "You'd best accept that now. As are you a part of
his
family now. It doesn't take a piece of paper to join people as family. It is in the heart. It is in their feelings for one another."

Charlie turned his eyes away. "God," he choked out.

"Charlie?" Alicia pleaded.

"Just leave me be," Charlie said, his voice breaking. "I need to sleep. At least in sleep I can escape the cruelties of reality."

"Oh, Charlie, I'm so sorry you feel that way," Alicia said. When he refused to respond, she moved away from him. She set the soup bowl and spoon with the other dishes that needed   washing later in the river, then went and sat down beside Cloud Eagle as he added wood to the fire.

"He didn't mean to insult or hurt you," Alicia said gently. "It's just that suddenly he has so much to accept that is hard. Can you imagine how it must feel to suddenly have lost an arm? Perhaps, though, losing me to you might even be worse for him. Oh, how I wish I knew how to make him understand."

"Understanding one's feelings sometimes is hard and complicated," Cloud Eagle said, turning to her. He took her hands in his. "
Ish-kay-nay,
this Apache chief hopes you can understand what
he
has to do and not resent it."

"What are you talking about?" she said, searching his eyes.

"I must go and find Lost Wind," Cloud Eagle said, his words slow and measured, as though testing her. "Our stronghold will not be complete while one of our people is out there alone, away from the protective shield of our warriors, at the mercy of white outlaws and Indian renegades."

"You feel duty-bound to go for her since her brother was killed?"

"It is not fair to force her to live under the cloud of fear each day and night when there is safety in numbers at our stronghold," Cloud Eagle tried to explain. "Her only crime is owning a spiteful tongue and having been burdened with a brother who disgraced his people. It is not right for her to suffer for the sins of her brother, nor for the foolishness of her tongue."

"You would bring her here as your second wife?" Alicia asked weakly, fearing the answer.

"Never," Cloud Eagle said, firming his jaw. "She   would just be one woman among the others at our stronghold."

Alicia lowered her eyes. "I'm so sorry about Spring Dawn," she said softly. She gazed up at Cloud Eagle again. "It's terrible that you found her among the dead when we returned to the stronghold. I had not even thought to look for her at the fort when your people were ushered into the courtyard."

"Nor did I," Cloud Eagle said, nodding. "There were many more important things on my mind than Spring Dawn. And now she is dead. Her spirit is set free in the hereafter." He nodded again. "I am sure she is much happier there than here."

"I truly wouldn't want the same fate to come to Lost Wind," Alicia said, sighing. "I think it is best that you go for her."

Cloud Eagle framed Alicia's face between his hands. "You of good heart could say nothing else," he said lovingly. He smiled at her. "But of course you know that it was easily said because you know the power of my love for you. No woman but you will ever again warm my blankets at night. You are the very wind beneath my feet as I leave you now."

Alicia twined her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately, then eased away from him and watched him leave. There were no reservations now in her trust of this wonderful Apache chief. She knew that she had his love. She would be sure he received hers, twofold.

"How can you trust what he says?" Charlie said, drawing Alicia's quick attention. "This woman he goes for? Surely his feelings are stronger for   her than you realize. Or else why would he go for her?"

Alicia knelt beside Charlie. She ran caressing fingers across his brow. "Because that is the sort of person he is," she murmured. "Caring and big-hearted. He would never rest if he did not bring Lost Wind under the protective wing of his people. And once she is here, he will have no cause to think about her ever again."

"Is she pretty?" Charlie persisted.

Alicia drew her hand slowly away. She did not have to answer Charlie. He knew the answer by the way her eyes wavered at his question. He knew that even though he could not see how it was possible, perhaps the Apache woman's beauty challenged Alicia's.

"Charlie, Cloud Eagle loves only me," Alicia said, then left him and went outside and peered into the distance. She wished now that she had insisted on going with Cloud Eagle. He would be with Lost Wind alone. Lost Wind might even use her feminine wiles on him and lure him back into her arms.

Alicia felt the urge to flee now and go after her beloved Apache chief.

But for two reasons she decided not to.

She had to prove to Cloud Eagle that she trusted him.

And Charlie needed her, although he seemed hell-bent on tormenting her into doubting Cloud Eagle enough to return to Saint Louis with him.

"I shall never leave this place," she whispered to herself. "I shall fight for Cloud Eagle, tooth and nail, if I am forced to."