Savage Secrets (Titan #6) (38 page)

“What are you thinking, Roc?” Her eyes searched his face.

“What am I thinking?” Repeating her question didn’t help. For everything rushing through his mind, no words came. His tongue felt thick. “I’m thinking… Fight or flight or figure this out. There’s nobody left to fight and…” He scrubbed his face. “And I’m not going anywhere…” Saying that out loud eased some of the pressure in his chest but not all. He was nowhere near being able to be okay, but it might be survivable. “I’m thinking, goddamn, Kitten, I hurt for you, but I want to figure this out.”

“I thought you’d hate me.”

“No way. Not possible.”

She knotted her fingers. “Be repulsed?”

He shook his head. No, and that was the truth. He couldn’t hate her. She’d done nothing wrong. “It doesn’t work that way, me and you.”

“How does this work? Because I don’t know.”

“What is there to figure out? We’re having a baby. We—”

“We?” Her jaw hung open.

“Well, I didn’t fly across the world for no reason. I want you to come home.”

For the first time in what seemed like years, her lips curled into a smile, slight but there. “I never saw myself as the motherly type.”

Yeah, he’d never thought about it either. Chalk that up to having a man-gene, but he was barely thinking past come-home-with-me. “How much had you actually thought about it?”

“Not much... And when I first found out… probably until I was sitting alone in a plane, somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, I kept thinking that the baby might have his hair or eyes, or have whatever evil that made him the way he was.” She shook her head, then whispered hoarsely, “That I couldn’t love—”

Her voice cracked. Tears spilled.

Rocco had nothing to say because those thoughts were running ragged through his head, tearing up his guts. No way would he let her see his apprehensions. Hiding those fears might have been the toughest moment of his life. Nothing—not the challenges of war or his enemy—had ever tested him the way that love was making him work, hurt, and feel through their conversation. Didn’t matter though, he’d suffer a million times over just to hold her hand.

Cat bit her bottom lip then straightened her shoulders. “But the more I kept thinking, the more I wondered about… everything else I might see in that baby's face. A smile or innocent happiness. Maybe a little baby girl who would grab my finger when she laughed. Or if I picked her up, my hug would be strong enough to soothe away her tears.”

His throat ached. Trying to swallow a lump, he gave up and stayed silent.

“Maybe a little boy would have caramel eyes and a dimple. Maybe he’d run around trying to play superheroes with his dad.”

Rocco dropped his head and rubbed his eyes. This was almost too much to handle. No, screw that.
Screw
.
That
. There wasn’t anything he wasn’t willing to do for her—

“If the baby’s yours… but if the baby’s not.” She covered her mouth, head shaking. After a sniffle, she steeled herself. “I can do this alone.”

No way. All he had to do was find simple words.

“I don’t want you to.” It was a promise, a proclamation. He thought he’d never want something more than bringing Cat back home, but he was wrong. He wanted to bring
them
back home. “Make no mistake, Kitten. Regardless of who the biological father of our baby is, this baby is
ours
.”

She didn’t say anything. She wasn’t agreeing or disagreeing, and silence, when it came to Cat, was bad news. But her jaw was back to hanging open, and the truth was, he didn’t blame her. What was happening to her, what he was offering… that was heavy.

He cleared his throat and plowed forward. “Trust me when I tell you I didn’t see this coming.”

She closed her dark pink lips. “Me either.”

“But I’m man enough to say any obstacle life drops on us, I want to figure it out with you.”

Her eyes closed. After a minute, she looked at him from underneath thick, teary lashes. “You didn’t know I was pregnant?”

“Nope.”

Her sad smile upturned. “Mia and Jared knew.”

Another bomb dropped on his chest. How did they not tell him?

“I’m not sure what to say to that.” He thought back to Jared on the phone before he left for the airport and Mia showing up at the hospital. “You found out after you were shot?”

She nodded.

“I thought you left me because I stole your kill shot, everything you ever wanted in life. It killed me. But I had to.”

“Now, I know that’s what you had to do. That night, I was destroyed over it, would rather have died trying to kill him. Then finding out that I was pregnant—I couldn’t handle it.”

“So… You’re pregnant. You’re in Spain… What were you going to do?”
Were you. Not
are
you. Notice that and agree. Just come back home.

“I was going to find a home, a place I could call mine.”

Home was with him. “There’s already a place like that.”

She didn’t answer, and the reminder drifted in the waterfront wind, floating away.

Tugging at a handful of fabric from her skirt, he pushed her to answer. “You’re saying no?”

She sighed. “I’m saying I don’t think I’m very good mate material. I went from being obsessed with the demise of a man to maybe carrying his baby, and I’m not even sure I could live up to being a good…
woman
to you.”

“That’s insane. I’ve never met anyone more woman than you.”

“No.” Her cheeks turned red, and she stared at the grass. “I have nightmares. I don’t think I can do
that
ever again. Nothing has changed. I can’t—I don’t think I can be a good…woman.”

“Kitten, nightmares we can handle.”

“It’s more than that.” Her brow furrowed. “I’m… ruined.” She jabbed her blade of grass with each word.

Oh hell
. How could he be such an insensitive shit, focusing on one issue and forgetting about another. “Look, I love you. Love. Nothing about you is ruined. And nothing about you isn’t worth loving.”

“Now you’re lying.”

“When you were at Jared’s, I was in hell. I hated it. I hated
him
, and he’s practically family. But I never hated you. Just like you knew we were destined to meet, I know we’re destined to never stay apart. You wanna skip town, jump continents, run from me? I’ll find you. It’s what I’ll always do. You belong with me.”

“I…”

“
You
love me like I love you.” Two simple facts. She couldn’t refute them.

“Yes.”

“This seems simple enough. You have two options. Stay here and I’ll stay.” He looked around. Not a bad view. Beach living could be okay or at least something he could get used to. “Or we go home. What’s it going to be?”

“There are more options than that.”

“Not from my point of view.”

She avoided his gaze.

“It’s simple, Cat. Don’t make this complicated. Everything else can be screwed up. Everything else, we deal with. You and me? Simple. So simple question, simple answer. I stay or you go. What’s it going to be?”

“I guess...”

“You guess? Nah, that doesn’t work. Just tell me. Which is it? Just say it.”

“We go home.”

He smiled. Relieved. “Good answer.”

Her eyes lit up, and he felt his soul for the first time. His woman and his baby.

“Come here.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. They faced the water, her back against his stomach and her loose hair blowing around his face, tickling his neck. She smelled like the outdoors, like the beach and the wind rolling off the Mediterranean. The church bell clanged again overhead, and birds soaring off the water squawked.

Her hand squeezed his, and he looked at it, small in comparison to his. “You’re still wearing your band.”

She shrugged against him. “Never occurred to me to take it off.”

“Me neither.” The bell finished clanging for the twelfth time and broke into a faster pace, a song, celebrating the day, announcing noon had arrived. A minister walked through the graveyard. “Let’s not take them off.”

Sighing, she clasped her hand in his. “Okay.”

The gravity of his suggestion hit him but clearly had missed Caterina completely. “I’m serious. I don’t want to take this ring off, and I don’t want you to either.”

Her head dipped back, leaning onto his shoulder. “Are you asking me to marry you?”

He laughed. “You plan on saying yes?”

Huge smile. Happy eyes. “Yes.”

“I saw a minister.” He spun her in his lap. “We already have our rings.”

“And I
am
wearing a white dress.”

Rocco stood, pulling her up with him. Her arms hooked around his neck, and her feet dangled. “Caterina Cruz, will you marry me? Today. Right now, where everything started and forced our paths to cross?” He kissed her. “Gotta marry me, Kitten. Has to happen.”

The gauzy skirt billowed around them with a gust of wind. “I’m wearing white at a church when you show up? You know how I feel about coincidence.”

“Say it, Kitten.”

“
Si
. I’ll marry you.” And she kissed him with no hesitation, no need for deliberate caution and warning signs.

CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

“You ready for this?” Rocco took her hand as they walked through the door.

“I’m never sure I’m ready for anything that Sugar’s in charge of.” Caterina could’ve killed for a Diet Coke that moment, but she had kicked the caffeine habit. “But bring on the Titan.”

“Bring on the Titan.” He laughed as they rounded the corner.

“Surprise!”

Caterina jumped. She knew it was coming, and she still jumped. When a half-dozen built-like-tanks men jumped at you, especially when they looked as deadly and daring as this bunch, all the warning in the world wasn’t going to keep a girl from taking a step back. Lord.

She threw back her head, laughing, and Rocco held her outstretched arm. “Surprise.”

“Welcome home party, Senorita.” Sugar stepped forward, handing her a glass of something sparkly. Maybe Jared never told her Cat was pregnant. Maybe she forgot. Hell, maybe she thought when Cat came home she wouldn’t be anymore. Who knew? Sugar was a wild one, and Cat wouldn’t waste time guessing her motives.

Catching her off guard, Sugar gave her a hug and whispered, “It’s sparkling apple juice.”

And that made Cat laugh. Always up to something, that one was.

They walked further into the Westin’s living room, and she was comfortable. No one gawked at her. No one whispered, not as though they would have, but it was a little over-dramatic to make Rocco chase her onto the other side of the world.

Sugar and Mia ran around, making sure everyone had a glass, and instinctively Cat knew that Mia had cooked and Sugar supplied the liquor. She liked the idea of seeing the same people on a regular basis. That was odd, a foreign concept, but normal life took getting used to. Regular place to sleep and wake. Regular stream of constant people, also now known to her as friends… It could’ve been overwhelming, but it just wasn’t.

“Told you, another one bit the dust,” Roman called out.

“Cheers,” Nicola and Sarah said at the same time, laughing. Clearly, their glasses weren't filled with sparkling apple juice.

“Cheers!” Asal mimicked, holding up her glass of something entirely different than the adults.

Jessica and Kelly, the Gamble kids, did the same thing. Then Clara imitated, copying Asal’s actions exactly, and the toddler’s voice melted Cat’s heart.

“Cheers.” Rocco laced his fingers in hers and held up her hand like she was a prize-winning fighter at the end of a round. “To my wife. Stuck with me forever.”

Whoops and hollers rang out. Roman shook his head, muttering to Parker about the problems with love, even though Caterina had noticed in the five seconds she’d been there that his head followed Beth around. Nicola fell onto Cash’s lap, and he was pulling out his wallet. A bet lost? With Brock wrapped around her waist, Sarah gushed to Sugar. And in the corner, Jared stood, arms folded, looking very pleased with himself.

Since they were making announcements… “And…” She tilted her head, her eyes meeting her husband’s. “Rocco’s gonna be a daddy.”

All over again, the room rang out. The ladies jumped and screamed. Back slapping followed quickly with a bevy of questions. How was she feeling? How far along? What did he say? What did she feel? The answer to everything was perfect and loved.

Everything piped down after a few minutes. Mia ran off to change Ace’s diaper. Clara followed Asal, Jessica, and Kelly around. Roman followed Beth. Parker was texting on his phone. Sarah and Sugar talked non-stop, and Nicola had stolen her husband’s cowboy hat. Caterina was comfortable. She bounced between conversations with the ladies, trying to stomach food, but morning sickness seemed like it was raising its squeamish head. Jared kept watching her, saying little but Sugar more than made up for it with her snarky hostess humor.