Savage Rhythm (16 page)

“Never in a million years, Brian,” she said, nudging him over to a secluded booth. “Now get your ass over there.”

***

Brian was leering at her.

Well, of course Brian was leering at her. He was Brian. Molly was pretty sure he had a compulsion to leer.

“Is it really so incredible to think that I had sex?” she asked him.

“No,” he said. “It’s incredible to think that it wasn’t with me.”

Molly popped another tomato in her mouth and considered this. She didn’t know how Declan would react to a statement like that. She and Declan hadn’t actually discussed exclusivity or possessiveness or whatever beyond the way he’d made his feelings about what belonged to him abundantly clear.

Mine
.

She felt a shadow thrill, just the remembrance of Declan’s massive dick sinking into her, and tried to hide her smile. He could turn her on remotely now, no touching required. Just memory.

“You gonna talk like that in front of Declan?” Molly asked.

“You think I’m suicidal?” Brian laughed.

“So you don’t want me to tell him you were hitting on me during an interview?” she said.

“Oh shit, Molly, I was kidding,” Brian said, looking vaguely worried. “I don’t know what you two have going on, but I know it’s not normal groupie shit.”

“Normal groupie shit?”

“He would care, is what I’m saying. Not like with…”

Brian caught himself and tried to trail off, like it didn’t mean anything. Molly’s brain went into high alert. “Not like with Bethany?” she guessed.

“Ah, shit,” Brian said, hanging his head. He picked at another overcooked french fry. “Yeah, not like with Bethany.”

“What happened with that?”

“Nothing. It wasn’t a big deal. Declan had a brief thing with her, nothing serious. He broke it off, and then she and Soren had a thing. Everyone was cool with it.”

Brian was possibly the worst liar Molly had ever seen. Like, he redefined ‘shifty.’ He was squirming in his seat like he had a skin condition, and his eyes looked everywhere but at Molly.

“This has something to do with why he kicked Soren out, doesn’t it?” she asked.

Brian threw up his hands. “No idea. Not saying anything. Invoking
omérta
.”

“Ok, let’s try something else,” Molly said, stealing a french fry. Brian put mayo on them. She might as well try it. “Do you know anything about Declan’s family?”

The mood changed. Brian gave her a serious look, which, coming from him, was particularly disorienting. He turned his plate so she could get at some more fries and looked at her, hard.

“Listen to me. You need to ask Dec about that.”

“He told me about his mom, Brian,” she said quietly. “I’m asking you your opinion.”

He crossed his arms. “Feels like you’re asking me to betray a friend.”

Molly stopped. Maybe she was. That hadn’t been her intent, but she could see how it might feel that way. Even look that way.

“Ok, wait. No. I’m not trying to get any family dirt that Declan wouldn’t give me on his own. I’m just… I know Soren was there for him then, and I’m trying to understand the two of them, that’s all. How they worked, how they looked from the outside, before everything went to hell.”

Brian was quiet for a second. He pointed at the fries that they were now sharing. “You like the mayo?”

“Yeah, but don’t tell anyone. It’s like eating a heart attack.”

“I know, right? Gross, but fucking delicious. I picked this up in Amsterdam.” He slathered another fry in mayo and chomped on it. “It was Soren who turned me on to it. You know, I didn’t really think this tour was going to happen? Dec said we could keep it going without Soren, but the minute it all happened, I thought, fuck no, it’s all over. We’re done. I just couldn’t imagine Declan without Soren, or Soren without Declan. And I was right, too.”

Molly cocked her head. “What do you mean?”

“Declan was messed up until right before that first show at Volare in Venice,” Brian said. “A fucking
mess
. And then…something set him right.”

“Something.”

Brian crossed his arms. “Yeah. Something. Not saying any more, because contrary to popular opinion, I am not a total idiot.”

“Oh, c’mooooon.” She smiled.

But Brian just shook his head. “He’s not the same, obviously, he’s different. But you’ve seen the shows. He’s got something working for him, that’s for damn sure. Something different. I didn’t think it could happen. I mean, it’s not the same, we all miss Soren, but…Dec’s got some mojo back. And so we didn’t have to cancel the tour.”

The tour had almost been cancelled? Molly tried to process this information. She couldn’t quite conceive of Declan being forced to do anything he didn’t want to do, of being wounded, damaged enough that it would cost him his music. It frightened her.

“Brian,” she said, suddenly serious, suddenly thinking about the fact that they were talking about
Declan
, the guy who’d just turned her world upside down so sweetly, so savagely, the guy she couldn’t bear to think about hurting.  And this, this was something that hurt him every day. “What happened?”

“You ask me that like you think any of us really know,” he said. It clearly scared the crap out of Brian, too. He was only playing with the fries now. “Here’s the thing. They were like brothers, right? Brothers fight and shit, but you never question whether they’re gonna be around, you know? Until now. Soren’s family history wasn’t anything like Declan’s shitshow, but it’s not like it was
happy
, either. Declan is Soren’s family, too. Or was. You gotta think about what’s big enough to undo something like that.”

“What would be big enough?” Molly asked. “For you.”

“If it were me?” Brian looked genuinely surprised by the question, like it was something he’d never thought of before. “I guess…shit. Something that made me question everything I knew about them, you know? That made me think they weren’t the person I thought I knew.”

Molly stared at him. “You’ve been through that before.”

“Lots of people have.”

“What do you think changed between Declan and Soren?”

“I don’t even know, Molly, I don’t go there.” He was lying, and Molly felt bad for him. This was a terrible position to be in. He said, “This band is my life. I’m not gonna rock the boat.”

“You know part of the story,” she said. “It’s hurting him, right? Having this big, gaping wound?”

“It hurts everybody.”

“Don’t you want to help him?”

“Them? Yeah. I’d like to help them both. Doesn’t mean I can.”

Brian was avoiding her eyes again. Molly thought about it. Brian was a goofy, womanizing, drinking rocker with a surprisingly sensitive streak and a desire to see everyone get along. He’d felt so bad when he’d found out that Sierra was Ian’s girlfriend that Declan had had to convince him not to call Ian and make it worse with effusive apologies. She bet he was a middle child.

“Are you in touch with Soren?” she asked.

Brian froze, fry in the mid-dip. “Why would you ask me that?”

“Oh my God, you are. I can tell, Bri. You’d make a really shitty poker player.”

Brian’s mouth flattened into a grim line. He leaned forward and lowered his voice.

“Don’t you fucking tell him, Molly,” he hissed. “I’m serious. I have a hard time figuring out what to do in this situation, and I’ve known them both for ten fucking years. Soren doesn’t tell me anything, anyway. It’s not like I know where he is.”

Brian trying to be tough looked a lot like Brian being scared.

Molly took his hand. “This is tearing you up a little bit, huh?”

“Jesus, yes,” he said. He gave Molly a good squeeze, then took his hand back and ran it through his oily, shaggy hair and cracked a thin smile. “It almost feels good to tell someone. Too bad it’s you.”

“What does he say?” she asked. “Soren, I mean.”

Brian fumbled for his cigarettes, glared at the No Smoking signs plastered everywhere, and stuck a cig between his lips, just for the feel. He looked at Molly and sighed.

“Mostly he asks if Declan’s ok.”

Molly caught her breath.

It was just then that Declan came striding into the restaurant. He would have turned heads even without the little bell that rang whenever anyone opened the door. In torn up jeans and a t-shirt, the man was just as tall, tanned, and muscular as ever. Molly was just as stricken as every other female in the building.

But she was the only wondering if the dominating rock star and general force of nature was really, underneath it all, ok.

chapter
17

Declan smiled when he saw Adra calling on his personal line. How did she know already?

“What’s up?” he answered.

“I haven’t heard from you is what’s up!” Adra cried. “Either of you! What the hell is happening?”

“That is pure torture for you, isn’t it? I should tell Ford.”

Volare L.A.’s Dom lawyer, Ford, and Adra, a sub and agent/whirlwind/all around press guru, were forever finding reasons to work together while denying that anything was going on between them. Ford had helped Declan negotiate the legal fallout from kicking Soren out, and Adra had taken charge of the image stuff, and the whole time they generated a level of sexual tension that could have powered half of California.

“Ford has nothing to do with it,” Adra said after a moment. “And you know it’s torture. Now, will you please—”

“Adra,” he said, silencing her. “Did you do this on purpose? Try to set me and Molly up?”

“No! Why, did it work?”

Declan chuckled. Adra the meddler, always trying to help everyone else, going so far as to mess with a Dom’s love life.

Sex life
, he corrected himself.

“Are you mad?” Adra asked. “Did something happen? Look, that wasn’t the only reason, obviously. I mean, she’s an incredible writer, it was just…I mean, this was a bonus, right? Right? Oh my God, tell me.”

“Maybe I’ll tell Ford,” Declan mused. “He’d probably have opinions on your meddling. And I know he’s got opinions about that new spanking bench.”

Silence.

Well, that was interesting. Maybe those two were finally…

“It’s none of Ford’s business,” Adra said curtly. “Maybe you could talk to his new sub. Now are you going to stop torturing me already?”

Damn. It really wasn’t any of Ford’s business if the man was that dumb. Declan would never cease to be amazed at the way some men couldn’t see what was right in front of them.

“Yeah, Molly and I have worked out an arrangement,” Declan allowed. He smiled when Adra squealed. “Or, actually, we’re in the middle of working out an arrangement. Nothing written yet. Aren’t you worried about how this is going to affect the book?”

“No. Are you worried that now you’re going to have to start telling the truth?”

Declan frowned. He could see Molly through the restaurant window, poking at a salad, and the idea of lying to her made him sick. And it was true: one of the tenets of a D/s relationship was honesty. He wouldn’t mess around with that. But there were some things that weren’t his to share, not properly. He shouldn’t even have told Adra.

“I won’t lie to her,” he said. “She already knows rehab was bullshit. But you know I can’t tell her what happened with Bethany and Soren. If she finds out, I can’t do anything about that, but it’s not mine to tell, Adra.”

Adra just sighed. “I think you’re more involved than you think, but what do I know. Listen, I’m actually calling about the baby shower in New York. Lola wants you to come.”

“The what?” Declan blanked. Baby shower? That was a chick thing, right? He knew Lola was pregnant and all, and he had lots of plans for Molly that involved Volare New York, but he’d never really put ‘baby’ and ‘Volare’ together in his head.

“Yeah, I don’t think it’ll be, um, typical. Probably more adult themed than is usual, anyway. I think Lola just wants an excuse to throw a party. But the point is, she wants you there. You’re part of the Volare family now, so not optional, unless you want Lola on your ass. And I want to see Molly.”

Declan winced. Molly at a baby shower? He didn’t pretend to know what that might be like for her, but it couldn’t be all wine and roses with all the memories it would bring up. He wasn’t entirely sure he liked the idea of that, especially not if she was already in an emotionally vulnerable state from exploring her submissive side. On the other hand, it could be exactly what she needed. She couldn’t go through the rest of her life
only
associating children and pregnancy with her own pain or it would drive her insane.

“I’ll think about it,” he said, without further explanation. “I’ll talk to her and call you back.”

“Soon.”

“Yup,” he said, and hung up.

He looked at Molly again.

Damn it, she was a light, even through the dirty glass of a highway restaurant. He hated to see anything darken that, but that was part of the point, wasn’t it? She had some stuff to deal with. She had some things she needed to do, a new way to be. He was helping her.

So what was the big deal?

Maybe he was just caught up in his own bullshit. This place they were playing at next, it was one of the first places he’d played with Soren way back in the day, before Savage Heart even had a name. It was just the two of them, lying about their ages, plus whoever they could get to help out. The first night Declan’s car wouldn’t start, and they’d lugged all their gear on first the Long Island Railroad and then the freaking PATH train all the way to Hoboken just to play this little club. And it had been
awesome
.

Declan had his own memories to contend with, that was for damn sure. He’d been brooding about it on and off since they’d booked this show. The whole place was wrapped up in memories of him and Soren, building the band. It had been his whole life. Before his Uncle Jim, Soren had been the only person who had made him feel at home, sneaking him into the Andersson family’s basement when Declan’s mom was really bad, learning to play, to write together, Soren fucking picking him up off the ground after he’d found his mom…