Savage Love (29 page)

     “Still, I think we can all agree that he isn’t what his fans would expect,” said Seanna.

     “Daffyd’s been talking about that lately. It has begun to bother him that the world thinks he is someone he is not. He’s been praying about how to change that,” said Samantha.

     “Being honest is a great way to start,” said Bryce.

     “That’s true, Bryce, but think about how most of them will take the news that the person they worship is a fake,” Leal countered.

     “That’s the problem. He wants to do this in a way that might help them, not just get them so mad that they won’t listen to what he has to say. This is going to take some wisdom,” Samantha explained.

     “I guess I never really thought about it that way. If he just loses all of his fans, he won’t be able to influence them at all,” conceded Bryce.

     “And if he does it in a way that keeps at least some of his fans, he may be able to influence them in a good way,” mused Seanna.

     “That’s our hope,” said Samantha.

     “That’s what we
all
should be doing. Maybe we don’t have as many people that we can influence, but Bryce and I have other students and we have the town’s people here. I’m gonna try to be more open about my faith this next school year,” vowed Seanna. “Just wearing my cross necklace and my ‘expect a miracle’ bracelet isn’t enough.”

     “Oh, that reminds me!” said Trisha jumping up from the table and grabbing a box off of the counter and handing it to Samantha. “Daffyd had this made for
you, I just picked it up yesterday.”

     “Well, open it, Mom,” suggested Seanna.

     Samantha opened the box and there nestled in some dark blue velvet was a thin gold bracelet with some familiar markings on it.

     “Is this Hebrew?” she asked.

     “The outside is, but the translation is written on the inside,” said Trisha.

     Samantha looked at the fine script written on the inside.
My Beloved Is Mine, And I Am His.

     “It’s beautiful,” she said with tears in her eyes.

     “Get it…
Beloved
!” said Bryce with a big grin.

     “That’s right! That’s what Daffyd’s name means! It’s from the Song of Solomon
in the Bible. That’s one of my favorite books. Isn’t that romantic,” Seanna stated.

     “If you will excuse me, I think I’m going to go and lay down for a while,” said Samantha quietly. “Make sure you wake me up if Daffyd calls on any of your phones.”

     “I’m pretty sure he’ll try yours first, now that we are all together,” said Leal.

     Samantha had slept for less than twenty minutes when her cell phone rang. Sure enough, she could see that it was Daffyd. “Daffyd,” she answered sleepily.

     “Were you sleeping?” he asked.

     “Just taking a cat nap,” she replied.

     “Did you get my gift?”

     “I am wearing it as we speak,” she answered. “It’s beautiful, Daffyd. It means a lot to me.”

     “I knew it would be hard for you to get there and have me be so far away, so I wanted you to have something to remind you how much I love you.”

     “When do you think you will be coming home?” she asked wistfully.

     “Well…actually I got some good news today…” he never got a chance to finish.

     “Daffyd! Is it gone?” she asked hopefully.

     “I am officially cancer free.”

     “So you can come home soon?”

     “Well, they want to wait a few weeks and will do some blood work before they say I am good to go.”

     “Thank you Jesus!” exclaimed Samantha. “Do you want to tell the others? I can go downstairs and put you on speaker phone.”

     “Not yet. Samantha, I called you first because there is something else I wanted to talk to you about
…”

     “Ok…”

     “You know how we have been talking about how I want to do something to help change the way people think of me?” he asked.

     “Sure, in fact we were just discussing that earlier today,” she replied.

     “Well, I have been praying about it…and I think that I know where I am supposed to start…”

     “Daffyd, I’m listening…”

     “I want to go on a mission trip,” he stated.

     “I think that is a good idea. You could probably get hooked up with someone that Pastor Bill or Pastor Shane knows.”

     “Actually, I already am hooked up with someone from here. You remember me talking about Max? Well…he’s going to South America.”

     “When is he going?” she asked.

     “Well…that’s the thing. He is leaving in three weeks.”

     “Good for him
. He can check it all out and later you can take a trip knowing you have someone who’s already been there,” said Samantha.

     “Samantha, I’m going to go with him now…” he heard her choking on the other end. “Please just hear me out. I know this is something God wants me to do. I have a peace in my heart and the timing is perfect.”

     “Daffyd, are you crazy! You are just getting over a major disease! What if it comes back?”

     “It’s not coming back,” Daffyd answered calmly.

     “Do you even have any idea how hard this has all been for me? And now when we can finally be together you are talking about
leaving the country!”
she sobbed into the phone.

     “Samantha…
please. You know I love you, and this has been hard on every one. You think I don’t know that! But for the first time in my life I am putting God first. I
want
to come home to you, that’s all that kept me going before I gave my heart to Christ. But now I can’t just think about myself…”

     “Then think about me,” she interrupted.

     “I
am
thinking of you. I’m thinking about a great future with you as my wife, living to a ripe old age with our grandchildren running around us. I want Bryce’s and Seanna’s children to have a godly grandfather, even if I won’t be blood related. More importantly, I want to be the man that you deserve. I have nothing in my life to be proud of and I want to be able to do this one thing before we start our life together. Can you understand?” he pleaded.

     “Oh, Daffyd…I just don’t know if I can do this…”

     “Of course you can! You’re one of the strongest people I know, and believe me, I know a few!”

     “You’re surrounded by strong people,” she couldn’t help chuckling.

     “Well, now it is my turn to be strong! No more letting everyone else fight my battles for me. That’s what I have learned here. I have to stand in my own faith with God’s strength. Honestly, it scares the pee out of me to think about going where Gareth and Rebecca were killed. But I know that I will come home safely to you. I am confident in that!”

     “How long will you be gone?”
she asked, knowing he had made up his mind.

     “They plan on being gone for a little less than a month. So I would be home by the first week in August. Trisha tells me you all won’t be back until the third week in July, so it will all go by so fast you won’t even find time to miss me.”

     “That’s so
not
true, Daffyd,” she replied grouchily.

     “Ok, but still, it’ll all be over before you know it and we will be together again. Can I have your support on this? Because I’m pretty sure you’re not the only one who is going to freak out.”

     “Yes…you have my support on one condition.”

     “What’s that?” asked Daffyd.

     “You have to promise me that once you get home, we’ll never be separated for more than twenty-four hours again!”

     “A whole twenty-four hours!” he teased.

     “Well, maybe not that long…”she laughed.

Chapter 30

Out of the Frying Pan

     Samantha loved the ocean.
All those years in Wisconsin, miles away from the ocean, never knowing this feeling of something so vast and powerful, yet so beautiful, I wish Daffyd was here with me.
They had settled into the rental house on the coast of Oregon and Samantha had to admit that Daffyd was right about the time going by so fast. They had been hiking, shopping, lounging and eating while time quickly sped by. Samantha was grateful for Sally, Leal’s grandmother. She was such a blessing. Sally was a tall regal looking African American woman in her seventies. Her simple ways and her genuine love for life were contributing to a time of reflection and anticipation for Samantha.

    
The two of them were sitting on the front deck of their rental. The rest of the clan were biking some trails along the ocean. Sally was reading her Bible and Samantha was thinking about her future. “Sally, can I ask you something?” asked Samantha.

     “Sure you can. Let me just mark my spot,” she answered as she tenderly laid a faded ribbon in between the pages.

     “Do you think that God gives us the desires of
our
hearts, or do you think He
gives
us the desires of our hearts?”

     “Are you asking me if God places His desire for us in our hearts or if He simply gives us what we want?” Leal’s grandmother questioned.

     “Yes, I guess that is what I’m asking.”

     “Well, in all my years of going to Church, I’ve heard it preached both ways. Personally I think it is a little bit of both. I think we are created with some desires built right into us. Like wanting to love and be loved. Wanting to know we are safe and protected. Then the world puts some desires into us. Desires to maybe have more than we
need, or the desire to be famous, or to leave some kind of legacy behind when we pass. When we love Him and get to know who He truly is, what we want can drastically change. We aren’t so selfish anymore and we are more willing to let Him deal with our hearts,” said Sally.

     “I was just thinking about how my whole life I wanted to have that ‘true love’ that you read about in fairy tales. Do you think that is the love that God wants us to have?” asked Samantha.

     “Nothing less, but what most of us don’t realize is that type of love only comes from God Himself. Those longings for a love that passes all bounds and drives us with a passionate flame can only come from Love Himself. God is Love.”

    
“But what about the love between a man and a woman?” Samantha asked.

     “That is a holy love ordained by God to show us a type and a shadow of Christ’s love for His Church. It can be a wonderful thing, but it can never replace the longing that God placed into each one of us for His love. The mistake that most people make is that they expect another human to fill that empty spot in us that only a relationship with God can fill. The happiest marriages are the ones that allow God’s love to flow into their marriage to strengthen the
love they have for each other,” explained Sally.

     “So are you saying that if we expect too much out of a relationship with our loved ones, that we will just be disappointed?” Samantha wanted to know.

     “That happens every day. But God never intended for that to be our first love. He wants our love for Him to be first, and then the love we have for our spouse and children, family and friends. Whenever we seek to build our relationship with God first, all the other ones get better. What are you thinking?” asked Sally seeing a slight furrow between Samantha’s brows.

     “I guess I’m wondering if these feelings I have for Daffyd are
ok with God,” she finally admitted.

     “Did you hear what I just said…God is
Love. If He is love then don’t you think He wants us to love others? You and Daffyd have been brought together in God’s love. So if your real question is ‘will God give you Daffyd’ the desire of your heart, my answer is He already did. You wear the proof on that wrist of yours.”

     “It just seems like the whole thing with Daffyd has been so hard. We go from one battle to another. Now he is down in the jungles of South America and we are still not together,” Samantha said.

     “You do believe we have an enemy?” she waited until Samantha nodded her head. “Well now, he’s the one who is trying to keep the two of you apart. But he can’t separate what God has joined. You just keep praying for your man’s safety while he is away. The two of you will be having a wedding soon! Mark my words.”

    
“Thank you Sally. I have been a little worried that we haven’t heard from Daffyd since he left.”

     “He warned you that he wouldn’t have cell phone service, right?” reminded Sally.

     “He did more than that,” she laughed. “He made me promise not to worry even if he couldn’t reach us at all the whole time he was down there.”

     “Then you just lean on God and keep that promise,” demanded Sally.

     “Yes, Ma’am,” laughed Samantha with a mock salute.

    
Samantha got ten chapters written while they were in Oregon. As much as she hated leaving the beach and saying goodbye to Sally, she was glad to be back home in Montana. Daffyd would be returning to the states soon and they would be able to start their new lives together. First they would need to make it official. Though Daffyd hadn’t proposed or anything, Samantha knew that neither of them would be content to continue living and sleeping in separate bedrooms. While they were in Oregon, Trisha and Seanna had dragged her into a formal dress shop to look at the wedding dresses. Seanna had decided that since her mom and dad had gotten married quietly without all of the normal folderol that this wedding needed to be different. Samantha had finally put her off saying she was waiting for a proposal first.