Savage Desire (Savage Lagonda 1) (19 page)

"I did not keep a tally," she told him in a teasing voice.

His grip tightened about her waist, but she did not heed the danger signal.

"How many, Mara?"

"Dozens," she teased.

His grip tightened even more. "You dare let any man say the things to you that should only come from me," he said between clenched teeth. "You belong to me. I would kill any man who dared touch you, although according to you, I would be wiping out half the male population."

She remembered the other time she had made him angry, and tried to loosen his grip from around her waist.

"I only meant to tease you, Tajarez. The others meant nothing to me."

"I do not understand 'teasing,' Mara," he said, pulling her tightly against him. "We said we would always be truthful with each other."

She looked at him, angry now herself. "What does it matter what a man said to me before I met you? I do not ask you how many women you have been with before you met me."

"I cannot stand the thought of another man touching you. Never before have I cared what a woman did when she was not with me, but with you, it is different."

She was still not pacified. If he was this demanding and jealous now, what would he be like after they were married?

"We only met last spring. How can it make any difference what man whispered pretty words to me before that?"

His hand moved slowly up her throat as he gently caressed the pulsebeat he felt there.

"You were mine long before we actually met." His eyes rested on her lips. "How many men have tasted the sweetness of your lips, Mara? How many men are unable to sleep tonight because the thought of you makes their body ache with wanting you? How many men have told you they love you, and how many men have you said you love?"

"I have told no one but you that I love him, though a few have said they love me," she said defiantly. "How many women have you told that you loved?" she retaliated.

"I have never spoken words of love to any woman but you. How could I, when you were always with me, just out of reach, haunting my dreams, causing me to find fault with all others?"

"I do not understand."

"No, you do not understand, nor will you ever," he said angrily. "Do you think I like your having so much control over my life? I am a man, Mara, but since I was a youth, I have loved the image of you, and have not been in control of my own destiny." His eyes suddenly became soft. "Never has a man waited so long for a woman, or loved her as much as I love you, and it is tearing me apart inside."

She was moved by his words. "Oh, Tajarez, I love you so much. Is it not proof of that love that tomorrow I will marry you and leave my family to go with you?"

"I am not sure I can change, Mara, but I will try. I can promise you no more than this."

She laughed. "You will not change, my love. There will be many times when your eyes will flash and you will get that stubborn set to your chin, and you will demand much from me; but always love me, Tajarez. Never stop loving me."

"The day I stop loving you is the day I close my eyes in death, beloved, and I think I will love you even beyond that."

"Tajarez, no one has been so fortunate as I. I will tell you this, so you can put all of your doubts about me to rest. When I met you, I was but sixteen. At that age my mother and father would not have allowed me alone in the company of a man, and in the year we have been apart, I have thought only of you."

"Many men have admired you."

She was silent for a moment. "Yes, but they were always respectful to me, and I felt nothing more for them than friendship."

"Sometimes I forget how really young you are, Mara."

"I am old enough to know I love you."

"Mara, I am seven and twenty. Compared to you, that is old. I have traveled far, and seen many things. 1 have looked death in the face many times and never flinched, but when I think of you not loving me, I tremble in fear."

She smiled, looking at his handsome face. "You are far from your dotage, Tajarez, and if anyone should be jealous, it should most probably be me. I doubt there have been many nights you spent in solitude, and I wonder how many women of your tribe would like to scratch my eyes out."

He laughed. "I have not kept a tally."

Mara felt a twinge of jealousy herself, and tried to push it aside.

"Mara, Palomas gives me the look that says I have stayed long enough. I really came to give you a gift. Will you wear it tomorrow? It was my mother's and even beyond. One day our son will give it to his bride," he said, handing her a metal box. When she would have opened it, he stayed her hand. "Open it when you are alone, Mara."

Palomas appeared at Mara's side, and Tajarez looked at him for a moment.

"I must leave you." He reached out and touched her face softly. "Until tomorrow, beloved." Then he seemed to fade into the darkness, as he always did. She did not know that he watched her from the shadows until she was safely inside the house. Then he and Palomas slipped away silently, each in his own way feeling love for the small golden-haired girl.

When Mara reached her room, she lit a candle and opened the box, which was silver inlaid with turquoise. She drew in her breath when she saw the beautiful necklace. It was the biggest emerald she had ever seen. It was attached to a long golden chain. She touched it lovingly, knowing Tajarez's mother had once worn it. When she slipped it over her head and felt it nestle between her breasts, there were tears in her eyes.

Removing her robe, she lay down on her bed, remembering that Tajarez had said the necklace would
one day belong to their son's bride. Her son and Tajarez's. When she thought of a baby's coming from their union, she smiled to herself. Would he have fierce brown eyes like his father's? Tomorrow was her wedding day. She fell asleep with the green stone clenched in her hand.

I DISPATCHED AN EXPRESS THIS MORNING TO
CAPTAIN LEWIS AT ST. LOUIS. ALL OUR PROVI
SIONS, GOODS, AND EQUIPAGE ON BOARD OF A
BOAT OF 22 OARS. . .. MEN COMPLETED WITH
POWDER CARTRIDGES AND 100 BALLS EACH, ALL
IN HEALTH AND READINESS TO SET OUT.

—
   
William Clark

11

Tess drew the drapery aside to allow the light to penetrate Mara's bedroom. It was a cloudy, overcast day that threatened rain. Mara opened her eyes and stretched her arms above her head. This was her wedding day. She paid little heed to Tess's muttering about rain being a bad omen for a wedding.

Linda came into the room, balancing a tray with Mara's breakfast on it, and smiled cheerfully. "I think it is nice on one's wedding day to have breakfast in bed. I convinced Tess to allow me to prepare my specialty for you, since it is such a special occasion."

Mara looked at the fluffy yellow omelette and the hot buttered biscuits. Linda poured her a cup of coffee from the silver server and handed it to her.

"Thank you, Linda. It was very considerate of you. This looks delicious," she said, spooning a bit of the omelette into her mouth.

"Most likely the last time you will know any special treatment for a long time. I doubt you will be having breakfast in bed where you are going," Tess said gruffly.

"Tess, you should not say such things to Mara," Linda scolded lightly. "From what I gather, Mara will have people tending to her every wish. Are you forgetting Sasha? Has she not been trained to look after Mara?"

Tess's eyes filled with tears. "It has been my chore to look after my baby. I know all her likes and dislikes." She turned to Mara. "Who will look after you when you are ailing? And when your first baby is born, who will tend you then?"

Mara got out of bed and walked over to Tess, putting her arm around the woman who had been a part of her life for as long as she could remember. "I will miss you, Tess. But you are not to worry about my welfare. With all I have learned from you, I will be able to look after myself as well as a husband," Mara said.

Tess sniffled and wiped her eyes on her white apron. "It's just that I worry about you. What if you need me?"

Linda came up beside Tess and put her arms about her waist. "We have to let her go, Tess. She is no longer a child, and Tajarez will see that she has the best of care. Besides, I need you."

Tess looked at the new mistress of the house. She had known her since she was a young girl and had watched her grow into womanhood. Linda was a sensitive, loving person, and, Tess had no doubt, a very capable one. Maybe she would not need her at all.

"1 can't stand around here lollygagging all day. I have things to attend to in the kitchen," Tess said, squaring her shoulders and walking to the door. She turned back to Mara. "He did say you could come home for a visit?"

Mara smiled and nodded. "Yes, Tess. I will be coming home for a visit." She felt a tightening in her throat. How she would miss Tess—but saying good-bye to those one loved was all a part of growing up.

After Tess left, Mara returned to her bed, where she ate the omelette, which was now cold. She hardly tasted it, so heavy was her heart. She watched Linda as she bustled around the room, packing the last of Mara's few remaining possessions. The room had been virtually stripped of all her belongings. When she left today, there would be little evidence to show that she had occupied this room for so many years.

Linda turned and smiled at her, as though reading her thoughts. "This will always be your room, Mara. We will keep it just the way you leave it, so when you do come home, it will be the same."

"Nothing will ever be the same again, Linda," Mara said wistfully.

Linda was brushing an imaginary wrinkle from Mara's wedding gown, which hung on the wardrobe door.

"My dearest little friend, nothing ever stays the same. But I have seen the love Tajarez has for you, and I think few, if any, have ever had a man love them with such depth. It is a beautiful thing. I will tell you a secret. As much as David loves me, he could never show that love as openly and sincerely as your Tajarez does. In a small way, I envy you the happiness that you will find with him. I believe your love will overcome your differences in background and customs."

"You did not always feel that way, Linda."

"No," Linda admitted. "At first I had my doubts. But when I met Tajarez, I knew he would do all in his power to make you happy."

"I love him so much," Mara whispered.

Linda laughed lightly. "One would never guess."

There was a light tap on the door, and Linda opened it to admit the young girl who helped Tess with the housework. "Tess says I'm to prepare you a bath, Miss Mara," she said, sailing into the room followed by George, who was carrying a large hip bath.

Later in the morning, Mara sat before her mirror, dressed only in her petticoats, while Linda arranged her hair on top of her head. Sasha watched, hoping she would be able to perform the complicated hairstyle for Mara once they left the Golden home. After the task was completed, Sasha and Linda helped Mara into her mother's wedding gown. Linda buttoned it, and they stood back to admire the results.

The gown was made of yards and yards of delicate lace that fit snugly about Mara's tiny waist and fell to the floor in a long train. It was sewn with hundreds of tiny seed pearls. Mara looked beautiful.

Linda secured the veil to Mara's head with a tiny tiara that was made up of large seed pearls. There was a knock at the door, and Linda opened it to admit David. She motioned for Sasha to follow her so they could leave the brother and sister alone.

"You are lovely, Mara," David said, feeling at a loss for words. He took her hand and squeezed it. He was not as good at expressing his feelings as Jeffery was. "If you have any doubts, voice them now, Mara. Afterwards will be too late."

"I have no doubts. I will go wherever Tajarez leads me. I will miss you, David," she said, hugging him tightly.

"Mara, you have always been the sunshine of my life. When you were born, and I first saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. As you began to grow, you were always kind and considerate of others, and everyone loved you, but you were always special to me. When you were abducted by the Indians, it was as though the life went out of our family. We feared never to see you again. It is a little like that now, Mara. When you leave, you will take the sunshine with you."

"Oh, David," she cried, "no girl could have had a finer, more loving brother than you. Tajarez has said that I can visit, and I will, I promise."

He wiped a tear from her cheek. "Come, little sister, your bridegroom awaits." He led her down the stairs and into the sitting room, where the wedding would take place.

Tajarez stood beside Jeffery, feeling very out of place. He was dressed in the new clothes that he and Jeffery had shopped for in St. Louis. The blue suit fit his tall, muscular body to perfection. The white shirt was a startling contrast to his bronze skin. His ebony hair was pulled back in a queue. He was totally unaware of how handsome he looked. He only knew that he was uncomfortable and wanted to remove the confining clothing as soon as possible. Knowing how important this ceremony was to Mara, he hoped he did not forget the words he was to say. Jeffery had assured him that it would be a simple ceremony, and that he would stand at his side until it was over.

Sasha stood beside Tess, wearing one of Mara's gowns. Linda had arranged her ebony-colored hair on top of her head. Tess put a comforting arm about her waist, knowing Sasha was feeling out of place.

The Reverend Michaels, who had the week before joined David and Linda in holy matrimony, stood stiffly before Tajarez, wondering who this foreigner, this stranger was who was marrying Mara. The man, Tajarez, appeared to be a gentleman, but when the reverend had asked what country the man was from, Jeffery had told him it was a small place that was not on any map.

Tess opened the heavy double doors, and Tajarez saw Mara enter on the arm of her brother David. The white gown she wore was lovely, and the white veil, barely concealing her face, floated about her as she walked.

Tajarez had never seen anyone so lovely. He wanted to keep the image of how she looked at that moment imprinted on his memory for all time.

As she approached, he took her hand in his. It was not a lengthy ceremony, and the wedding was over quickly. The stern man dressed in black said they were man and wife, and Linda raised Mara's veil.

Tajarez stood looking deeply into her eyes. His lips brushed Mara's lightly, and it was all over. According to white man's law she belonged to him.

They were surrounded by the family with hugs, kisses, and best wishes. There was no music or dancing as there had been at David's wedding, nor were there any friends to congratulate them, and all too soon it was time to say good-bye.

Mara had changed into a gown of cream-colored silk, with a bonnet to match. David and Linda walked them to the veranda. Mara threw her arms around David and wept. It was hard to say good-bye to him. She felt pain in her heart at leaving him. Tess cried and hugged her, and even George had a hint of tears in his eyes. Linda kissed Mara on the cheek, and wept openly. "You are going to be happy, I just know it," she whispered.

Mara rode beside Tajarez, while Sasha, Jeffery, and Palomas followed behind. Just before she entered the woods, Mara looked down at her bridal bouquet of red roses. "Tajarez, there is something I must do. Will you come with me?"

"What is it that you wish to do, Mara?"

"I want to go to the place where my mother and father are resting. I wish to place my bridal bouquet on their graves."

"I will accompany you," he said solemnly.

Tajarez told Jeffery and Sasha to ride ahead to the camp, then he waited for Mara to lead the way to where her mother and father were buried.

Mara heard the sound that told her they were being followed. She did not have to look back to know it was the ever watchful Palomas.

They rode up the hillside, then Tajarez helped her dismount. Kneeling down beside her mother's grave, she bowed her head in prayer. Closing her eyes, she prayed that her mother's and father's souls were at rest. Unwanted tears fell from her eyes, and when she opened them, she saw that Tajarez knelt beside her. His face was raised to the heavens. Her heart swelled with love for this beautiful, sensitive man who was now her husband.

He sensed that she was watching him and turned his face to her. "I asked the Great Father to take special care of your mother and father, and to let them know that I will love and care for their daughter for the rest of my life."

New tears spilled down her face. "You would have liked them, Tajarez, and I think they would have liked you, as well."

"Your mother, what was she like, Mara?"

"She was lovely. Her whole world consisted of my father and my brothers and me. It is partly because of me that she is dead." She felt comforting arms go about her, and she relaxed in his arms.

"Jeffery told me how you blamed yourself for your parents' deaths, but you are mistaken. I believe that when the Great Father decides to take a life, no one can prevent its happening, and I think perhaps your mother did not want to live without your father, and the Great Father, being compassionate, and seeing your mother's pain, took her to be with your father."

She laid her head on his shoulder. "I never thought of it that way. I would like to think that is just what happened."

He raised her face and kissed the tears away. "I believe at this moment they smile down on you, beloved."

Mara rose to her feet. She divided her wedding bouquet and placed roses on both of the graves. Then she turned to Tajarez. "You are a very wonderful man with great insight into people's hearts. You have helped me feel better about my mother and father. Have I told you today that I love you?"

Tajarez did not touch her, but instead worshipped her with his eyes. Mara was so young, but she brought out the best in him, protectiveness, unselfishness, love. "Never let a day pass, beloved, without telling me of your love." He reached for her hands, and they stood together beneath the overcast sky. A rainbow arched itself across the western sky.

Mara looked down below at the house where she had lived with her family, then she looked at her tall, handsome husband. There was sadness in her heart at what she was leaving behind, but there was happiness as well. She would follow this man with no regrets. He was her love.

From out of nowhere Palomas appeared and helped her to mount her horse, then the three of them rode in silence until they reached the camp. Mara saw many Indian warriors lined up before a huge white tent. Their dark eyes rested on her face. She clasped Tajarez's hand tightly. Two Indian women stood in the background. One of them was very beautiful, and she looked so long and hard at Mara that it made her feel uncomfortable. She smiled at the woman, but received no smile in return. The other, older woman, however, gave her a smile so wide it showed her to have two front teeth missing.

The one thing that immediately impressed Mara was the cleanliness of the Indians, who all appeared well groomed and very neat.