Satin Pleasures (16 page)

Sinking into her chair, Tess curbed her inclination to look to Dan for support, as she had too often these past weeks. He was leaving, so she’d better start unraveling her entanglement with him. She wanted him to know her priorities...and, it looked like he was getting the full treatment. If this didn’t send him racing off in his precious new fishing boat, nothing would.

Sweet mercy, but she was going to miss him!

She caught her dad watching her and crushed her bleak thoughts. “This is about the money, isn’t it? I’ll get the promotion. I’ll get a second job if I have to, but I’ll have the surgeon’s deposit by the middle of September.” Nothing could stop her, short of her losing her
job. A real possibility if
Thorgram
Group sold off its holding to another investment company. But, she’d cross that bridge when the time came.

“Nothing’s settled.” Her mother patted her hand. “We simply don’t want to spend all that money unless we’re sure it’s the best solution for everyone.”

Desperation churned in Tess’s stomach. “But, if there’s a chance—”

“I spoke to Dr. Maxwell,” her dad said. “There’s less than a thirty-percent chance I’ll be able to walk without the canes after the surgery.”

“It’s still a chance, Dad.”
A chance to make things right for her parents again.
To redeem herself.
“Don’t do anything drastic yet,” she pleaded. “Think about it some more? Please?”

Her father took time responding, but he capitulated with a nod of his head. “I’ll think about it, princess. But, you’ve got to do something for me in return.”

Tess breathed a sigh of relief.
“Anything.”

“I want you to think particularly hard about why you’re going after this promotion. You can’t figure my surgery into it, not the money, not anything.” He paused. “When you’re done thinking about it, I want you to come home and convince me you’re taking the job because it’s what you really want.”

She didn’t understand the point of the exercise, but she could refuse her father nothing.
“Then what?”

“Then, we’ll discuss my surgery.”

***

Dan unlocked the door to his tri-level house and stepped back to allow Tess to precede him inside. He watched her cross the wide expanse that encompassed the middle section of the home. When she came to a stop in front of the bank of floor-to-ceiling windows facing west, he wasn’t surprised.

Everyone, himself included, was drawn to the surreal view of the Pacific Ocean that could be seen from his kitchen and living room. With the house perched on the cliff, he often felt like a seabird hovering in mid-air, the endless sky his ceiling, the world at his feet. It’s why he leased the huge house. It grounded him, but didn’t destroy his illusion of freedom.

The varied reactions the scene prompted in others also fascinated Dan. When he’d brought Aunt Mary here, she’d stood with her fists on her hips, her nose pressed to the glass to
check what lay below, as if to say, “Here I am, mistress of all I survey.” Of the two students who helped him move in, one avoided looking out altogether, while the other threw his arms wide and laughed. All three reactions revealed something about their individual personalities.

He studied Tess’s stance, the way she’d hugged her arms around her slender waist while she stared straight out the window. She didn’t blink at the miles of churning ocean beneath her. Which demonstrated how curiously withdrawn she’d become in the hours since lunch.

Dan tossed his keys on the kitchen counter and deliberately broke the silence in the room. “Let me feed Colby. Then, I’ll give you the grand tour.”

She acknowledged him with a vague nod.

Frowning, he left the house through the kitchen door that led out to Colby’s dog run. The German shepherd greeted him with his entire body wagging, which made Dan feel like a heel. He’d put so many hours into the store lately he was paying the neighbor’s child to check on Colby every afternoon. The dog hadn’t been left completely alone the past two days. Yet, Dan took time to play with him before topping off the food and water dispensers.

“Sorry, big guy.” He scratched the dog’s ears. “I can’t take you to the beach now. Maybe we’ll talk Tess into coming with us later.”

If Dan had anything to say about it, she wouldn’t leave at all tonight. They needed to discuss what happened today...and what happened last night. The trouble was he didn’t want to talk at all. The idea of dragging Tess into the nearest bed had tantalized him all day. He wanted to make love to her through the night and wake next to her in the morning and each morning after that.

All along, he’d suspected one night in her arms wouldn’t be enough. Now, it was a certainty. He’d be lucky to get her out of his system before he had to leave. “Although,” he said, absently patting Colby on the head, “our departure date isn’t exactly set in stone, is it, boy?”

Realizing he was talking to a dumb animal when he could be talking to a sexy woman with too many shadows in her eyes, Dan left his dog chewing on a rawhide strip. He reentered the house and found Tess right where he’d left her.

Approaching her, he reached into the breast pocket of his silk shirt and pulled out the stress card she’d forgotten to retrieve from her dad. He tucked it away again when a small voice
at the back of his head spoke up.
There are other ways to get rid of tension, Danny Boy.
Both hers and yours.

Dan carefully wound his arms around Tess, aligning his body to the back of hers. When she didn’t protest, he allowed himself the luxury of nuzzling her scented hair. If he dared, he’d carry her away and make love to her until she forgot to shut him out. But, Tess’s emotions were already in enough turmoil.

He saw the confusion, the hurt, on her face when Michael made his announcement at lunch. That look hadn’t lifted in the last few hours. Dan had known her long enough to know she’d taken her promise to her father as seriously as she took everything else. She wouldn’t rest until she wrestled the problem into submission.

Standing this close, he could not only feel the stiffness in her spine, but a fine tremor in her body. She was wound tighter than he’d ever seen her and he wanted to keep the damage to a minimum. “Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

He ignored the posted ‘stay out’ tone in her voice. “Sometimes it helps to talk. Your father only wants your happiness.”

She yanked out of his embrace. “What do you know about this? Did Dad say anything to you about why he wants to cancel his surgery?”

Dan thought about all he’d learned today. There hadn’t been time to assimilate all of it, but he did know one thing. Michael Emory had a lot to say about a lot of things and every one could be traced back to his little girl. The man adored Tess, as only a man with an only daughter he thought he’d never have could. “Your father loves you very much.”

Her gaze slid away. “He told you everything, didn’t he?”

“About what?”

Looking out the windows, she said nothing.

“Tess?”

Resignation shaded both her eyes and her words. “Did he tell you it’s my fault? It is, you know.”

“What’s your fault?”

A succession of raw emotions raced across her face. “I had to have that damned car,” she finally blurted. “It wasn’t enough to have pretty clothes that were the envy of my friends. It wasn’t enough that I was going to one of the best colleges in the state.”

“What happened?”

She straightened, like she wanted to dam all the memories so they wouldn’t spill over. The dam burst. “I grew up thinking I was a princess! That’s what Dad’s always called me, his little princess. I lived in a fairy tale world where everything was wonderful and dreams come true.”

Taking a deep breath, she continued more quietly. “Mom and Dad gave me everything I ever wanted. I didn’t see how often they did without, didn’t want to see their sacrifices.”

“Most kids aren’t discerning enough. Why should you be any different?”

Tess’s hand cut through the air, dismissing his excuse. “I was more blind than most! Mom used to leave the house before dawn to wait tables. She’d come home as I was getting up to go to school and serve my breakfast in her uniform.

“And I can remember Dad holding down two jobs more often than not. He managed a nursery during the day. Then, at night, he’d clean buildings or drive a truck or fill in as a security guard.”

She looked so fragile, he had to touch her. His hands flat against her lower spine, he pulled her into the cradle of his body. “What does this have to do with the accident, honey? Your dad told me the other car was speeding and ran a red light.”

Her body shuddered beneath his hands, but he felt as though she’d stepped away from him into the ten-year-old nightmare. “I was nineteen when I set my heart on a red Porsche a college friend was selling. I spent weeks haranguing Dad about it, though I knew he didn’t have the money. He was already working two jobs to pay my tuition.

“But I wouldn’t let up. I knew all I had to do was take him for a test drive, make him see how much I wanted it, and he’d whip out his wallet.”

Dan hugged her when she stopped talking. Tess had bottled all this up for years and she had to get it all out or let it destroy her completely. “That’s not what happened, is it?”

She went still, blanched. “He said no,” she whispered. “I began to argue with him. I didn’t see the car beyond him, bearing down on us.”

Dan brushed the hair back from her face. “The accident was not your fault. Your only crime was being young and selfish, but that’s part of growing up. We all make those mistakes. Michael doesn’t blame you for any of it.”

“I blame me. Maybe if I’d paid more attention I could have done something.
Swerved.
Sped up.
Something!”

“You have to let this go, Tess.”

“I’ll let it go when Dad’s no longer in pain, when he can walk without something to prop him up.” Tess frowned. “What I don’t understand is why he wants to quit now, when he’s so close to being whole again.”

Her father had accepted his limitations and was ready to move on with his life. He’d admitted as much to Dan. “Maybe he’s letting go of what he can’t change.”

“This new procedure could have Dad back on his feet without canes by the end of the year.”

“Or he could be back in a wheelchair without the hope of another surgery.”

“He’s scared of losing what he’s gained?”

Dan shook his head, only then realizing how close he’d gotten to the older man in those few hours of puttering around in the greenhouse. They’d forged a connection, with Tess at its center. “Your father’s more concerned with what will happen to you if it should fail.”

Her chin lifted. “I have every confidence in Dr. Maxwell.”

Dan wanted to shake her or kiss her senseless or both. Unable to stop himself, he kissed the stubborn lips so temptingly raised. When he drew back an eternity later, he smiled at her bemused expression.

“Your confidence in this particular doctor isn’t the issue here,” he explained softly. “Your parents are worried about your emotional and physical wellbeing. The price you pay gets higher with each surgery and they don’t want you to pay it anymore.”

Tess stepped away from him and ran a restive hand through her hair. “We’ve discussed this before, Dan. No matter what a person does, there’s a price to pay. I have no problem with the path I’ve chosen. Why can’t I make you see that?”

He’d run out of arguments. Intent on calming his own irritation, he reached into his pocket to pull out the stress card he’d carried for the past year, until he loaned it to Tess.
Inspecting the smooth surface, he realized there was one more argument at his command. He thrust the piece of plastic into Tess’s hand. “Hold this.”

“I don’t—”

Dan wrapped both of his hands around hers and stared resolutely into her eyes until she subsided. A full minute later, he pulled the card from her stiff fingers and glanced down at it. “It seems to me,” he murmured, tucking the card into her pants pocket without showing it to her, “there are several problems with the path you’ve chosen.”

Tess refused to check the color on the card, although it took more effort than she would admit to keep her hand from diving into her pocket. “I wish I knew what to say to make you understand my choices.”

“I understand more than you think.”

But, he didn’t agree.
The words didn’t have to be spoken. Tess could read them in his eyes.

She sighed. A year ago, Dan might have appreciated her singular purpose. Not now. Now, all his obligations were transitory and he seemed to like it that way. He’d come to San Francisco to help his family, but left himself the freedom to literally sail away whenever he wanted.

It was a luxury she didn’t have, and never would. Her commitment to her parents was too deeply entrenched. Yes, she was tired. There were days she wanted to lay her mantle of responsibility down. But, some things couldn’t be changed by wishful thinking. Her painful past, her vow, and Dan’s lack of acceptance were only three of them.