Satellite of Love (24 page)

“Nothing, but I think I know what the argument was about now.” Sandy paused and Bear could hear him clicking his pen on the other end of the line. “Alright, how about I come out there and we all have lunch? The six of us, like old times.”

Bear searched the crowd, picking out his bandmates. Brian still looked panicked. Ty was peering around like he couldn’t figure out how they’d gotten here. Marc stood with his arms folded and his permanent scowl firmly in place. Jason’s swarthy skin had gone pale. Bear could understand that feeling. He’d thought quitting the band would be a relief, instead it made him feel like a raccoon trying to cross a busy eight lane highway. He couldn’t imagine being without those guys, even if they were assholes. “All right.”

“Good. I’ll be there to get you boys for lunch at noon. In the meantime, I suggest you all practice and try not to talk about your personal lives.”

“Good idea. See you at noon.” Bear snapped the phone closed and handed it back to Brian. “Sandy’s coming out for lunch.”

“So you’re not quitting?” Ty asked.

Brian whipped around like he wanted to throw his phone at Ty’s head.

“Not today.” Bear stuffed his hands in his pockets and started for the building. Fortunately, he could have done the walk blindfolded because relief was making him dizzy. He couldn’t quit the band. What would he do without them? But if they were going to keep making him choose between them and Maureen, there was no contest. “We better get some work done before Sandy gets here or he’s going to be pissed.”

12

Michael’s warm hands cradled her face. He didn’t say he wished she could stay. Didn’t tell her he loved her. He didn’t say anything at all. Everything had been said last night. Maureen felt threadbare with the lack of sleep. Yesterday, after they’d gotten home from Disneyland, she’d been so tired she thought she could sleep for a week, but sleep had never come. Instead they’d stayed up all night talking and making love until everything was used up.

Why did this feel so much like leaving home when she was
going
home? She had a house and a garden and a class full of kids who wanted to hear all about her big trip. The other teachers would want to hear all about her spa visits and her day on Rodeo Drive, as well as some other aspects of the trip. This week had given her enough ammunition to keep every person she knew emerald green with envy for the next several years. But if telling them meant leaving him, she didn’t care if they ever found out.

“You’re going to give that shirt back eventually, right?” he said.

“Maybe. Depends on if you try to quit the band again.”

He chuckled, but it had the dry rattle of a recycling truck in Death Valley. “I’ll be there to pick you up in five weeks. I’d say pack light, but…” He nudged her carryon with one foot.

“This isn’t going to be like that movie where the girl showed up to meet the guy on tour and he didn’t know what day it was, is it?” She resisted the urge to bite her lip. That movie was never meant to be a horror, but it terrified her.

“You’ve gotta stop watching that stuff.”

Traffic flowed around them to the security screening. They’d been standing, forehead to forehead, his hands on her face and hers on his arms for ages. How much longer would they have to stand like this for her to miss her flight?

“You need to get going if you’re going to get through security in time to make the flight.” His thumb stroked her cheekbone.

What would happen if she missed it? Call school and tell them to get a sub for tomorrow. Get a sub for the rest of the year. She could travel with the band and make sure no groupies got their hooks into him and that he didn’t forget what day of the week it was.

Abandoning her students and her house and her life. For a man. “I really have to go.”

He took a step back, scooped up her bag and draped it over her shoulder. “Five weeks isn’t that long.”

“Not really. School will be out.” She did bite her lip this time. State tests were coming in a couple weeks. She’d have a lot of hard work between now and then getting the kids ready. Then grades were due. And all the clean up she’d need to get on in her yard. Her to do list was about a mile and a half long. Subtract all the hours she’d spend sleeping and working and she’d have almost no time left to miss him. The length of a coffee break. Or recess on a nice day.

“I’m pretty sure if I kiss you again, I’m not going to let go.” His lush mouth turned down and his jaw tensed. “Might be better if I just wave from here.”

From there? He was a foot and a half away. But he was right. If she reached out for him again she wasn’t going to be able to let go. Misery and panic clawed her chest. A well of hot tears boiled toward her eyes. “Yeah. ’Bye.”

Spinning on one heel, she half ran for the x-ray area. She joined the line keeping her eyes resolutely forward, clutching the strap of her carryon. Even though her shopping sprees hadn’t amounted to much, she’d had to leave a few things behind at Michael’s.

Everything she left behind was old. He hated the idea of her in old Levi’s when he could give her designer jeans. If he’d had his way, he’d have just supplied her with a brand new wardrobe from the socks up.

She hadn’t let him buy her an engagement ring though. After their one big fight, the subject hadn’t come up again but she’d caught him casting longing glances toward every jeweler they passed. Liddy, Tori and all Tori’s friends told her she was nuts. Possession was nine tenths of the law. Whatever he bought for her would have a very nice resale value. Just the thought made her sick.

“Can you take off your shoes, please?”

“What?” She focused on the uniformed guard in front of her. She’d been so focused on not looking at Michael that she hadn’t seen anything else.

“Your shoes.” The woman pointed at her feet. “You need to take them off and put them in the tub. The carryon and purse need to go in a separate tubs.”

She set her bag in a tub. Then she put her purse in another one. Slipping off her shoes, she put them in the third before shoving them all in the direction of the x-ray machine. In front of the metal detector, she paused. What would happen if it went off? Would they pull her aside for a more thorough inspection? Would it take so long that she would miss her flight? What if she refused?

“Miss, you have to go through the metal detector.” Another security guard crowded her from behind and she moved forward. No alarms went off as she passed through. Swallowing around the knot of tears in her throat, she gathered her belongings and slipped her shoes back on. Only then, fully reassembled, did she dare turn back.

He stood where she’d left him. His broad shoulders slumped, but he raised a hand to wave. Her jaw shook and her feet were rooted to the floor. She couldn’t go. She couldn’t leave him. Her whole life she’d always been able to move on when the time came. She’d missed her high school friends, but at the end of school she’d gone on her way. Some of them she emailed occasionally, but not many. The same had been true in college. Every year she watched groups of children she had loved and cherished leave her for the next grade but she didn’t spend the in-service day weeping over kids who’d left her, unlike many of her colleagues.

But now, the idea of leaving him shredded her. She wasn’t going to be able to walk to the gate. Her knees would give out and she’d end up an undignified heap on the floor. People flowed around her as if she were just another obstacle between them and their destinations. Her destination was behind her. What was she headed toward?

Her students. Her house and friends. The life she’d made for herself, all by herself.

Chin lifted, she forced a smile then turned and walked toward the gate. In the lounge area, she dropped into a seat and stared into space. She’d known him for a month. Friday night they’d celebrated with pizza by candlelight. In that month, she’d been with him for only two weeks. The rest of the time had been over the phone. Now they faced a five-week separation during which, if movies were anything to go by, he’d be surrounded by women who would do anything for him. By his own report, he’d be lonely and bored most of the time with a few hours of happiness when he was playing.

And she hadn’t let him buy her an engagement ring.

A woman sat down beside her. “Wow, just made it. They’re going to start boarding any second.” The woman focused on her. “Are you alright?”

She nodded, and couldn’t form an expression.

“Ah, you traveling alone?”

She nodded again.

“First time?”

No
. “Yes.” She’d always traveled alone. Why was this so different?

“Poor dear.” The woman patted her hand. “It gets easier with practice.”

She forced a tight smile in lieu of speech, and the gate attendant called the first group to board.

“Well, that’s me. Good luck, sweetheart.” The woman stood and shouldered her bag. “Try to sleep on the flight. That always helps me.”

While waiting for them to call her to board, she hugged herself. Five weeks. In five weeks, school ended and the tour passed close by. She was scheduled to join up with them for a month then he had a weeklong break. During the break he was going to come home with her. Five weeks apart, five weeks together. Then he left again. Depending on how things went, she might go with him.

On the plane, she stashed her carryon, buckled herself in, pulled the blanket over her head and closed her eyes. The lack of sleep last night and the massive depression shut her down so thoroughly, she knew nothing until the plane touched down. The man in the seat next to her gave her a wide-eyed look that made her wonder if she’d been talking in her sleep. If she had, he’d been treated to a better show than any programming the flight had. She’d dreamed about Michael.

Linda waited near the baggage carousel. “I wasn’t sure where to meet you so I figured this would be a good bet. Are you okay?”

She shook her head. Half her brain still wanted to be asleep.

“You guys break up?”

She glared at her. Everyone was waiting with baited breath for him to dump her. “No. I slept the whole way back. I’m not quite awake yet.” She wanted to be home as soon as possible so she could bawl in private. The three hours she’d gained flying out, she’d lost on the return trip. Darkness pressed against the huge airport windows, smothering her.

“So you visited your famous boyfriend in California and all you got was this lousy Tesla t-shirt?” Linda fell into step beside her.

“No.” Maureen smoothed her hand down the front of the t-shirt. It still smelled like him.

“So what’s the problem?”

“I miss him.”

Linda shrugged. “Fair enough. I don’t see a ring. You know there’s a betting pool going at school about whether he’d ask you to marry him on this trip.”

“He already asked.” She should have let him buy her the ring. Even if he broke up with her it would have been physical proof that he’d existed. Something a little more permanent and serious than an old t-shirt for a band she knew nothing about.

“Excuse me?”

“He asked me weeks ago.” She walked through the sliding doors and stopped at the edge of the drop off area checking for cars. The air was colder here too. Out in sunny California it had been too warm for her jacket. Now she wished she had it but it was stuffed in her bag.

“What do you mean, he asked you weeks ago?”

“He asked me before he left town.”

Linda followed her off the sidewalk without looking in either direction. “You’re kidding. Where’s the ring?”

“I don’t have one. We were keeping it quiet until everyone got used to us as a couple. I knew you’d freak out.” Maureen stopped. Gravity was stronger here too. Her carryon weighed at least twice what it had when she got on the plane and she had no clue where Linda had parked. Linda wasn’t giving hints either.

“Damn right. What do you mean, you got engaged weeks ago?”

“I mean, we got engaged weeks ago. He asked me before he left town. Remember that personal day I took a month ago? He asked me then.”

“After he knew you for a week!” Linda’s voice rang off the cement walls, sounding like her formerly squeaking brakes, which reminded her of Michael fixing those brakes.

“Yes, and this is why I didn’t tell anyone. Where did you park? It’s cold.”

“I can’t believe you. You were always so calm and level headed. When did you lose your mind?”

And this was her friend? She should have asked someone else to pick her up or taken a really expensive cab or something.