Satan, You Can't Have My Children: The Spiritual Warfare Guide for Every Parent (7 page)

*****

N
OTES FOR
C
HAPTER THREE

1.
Wikipedia.org
, “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,”
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
(accessed January 31, 2011).

2.
MyHealthNewsDaily.com
staff, “In US, 1 in 5 Teens Have Serious Mental Disorder,” October 13, 2010,
www.myhealthnewsdaily.com/children-mental-disorder-prevalence-101013-0550
/ (accessed January 20, 2011).

3.
Ibid.

4.
Ibid.

CHAPTER FOUR

YOUR CHILDREN’S
INHERITANCE

H
OW TO FORM YOUR CHILDREN’S CHARACTER

T
HE BEST INHERITANCE
that a father can leave to a son or daughter is an equal amount of love and discipline. Most parents have problems with their children’s behavior. In order to have a sound foundation, the child needs to admire his parents and feel admired by them. Children also need to feel that they can trust and be friends with their parents. A healthy relationship forms the child’s character positively. Children need to feel loved, appreciated, and admired by their parents in an environment that breeds consistent discipline and values. As children grow up, they perceive that their parents are heroes and will always satisfy their needs and protect them. These sentiments create part of their identities.

It is very sad to see that many parents are perceived as powerless and incapable of ruling their own lives. The child in these situations feels insecure and fearful. In an atmosphere of instability, ambiguity, and, many times, violence, the child learns to distrust and develop a character that doesn’t allow him or her to deal properly with others.

Discipline is part of a child’s healthy upbringing. Without discipline, there is chaos. However, there is wholesome discipline, and there is destructive discipline. Ask the Holy Spirit for help in this area.

I remember my childhood days when my brothers and sisters enjoyed playing games and chattering as normal children do. Yet the moment we heard our father’s familiar knock on the door, we would all hurry to sit like little angels or the fury of my father would be unleashed like a storm. He was seeking respect, but what we experienced was tremendous fear.

However, change is possible. The person who wants to change and asks for God’s help can receive miracles in his or her family. Take the first step today. Give your life and your family to God. God is willing to forgive and to restore all that Satan has stolen from you. Make the decision to change. Decide to forgive. Learn to love and to receive God’s love. Start today to leave an inheritance of love and the fruit of the Spirit for your children.

C
ELEBRATE
Y
OUR
S
ON’S
M
ASCULINITY

In the United States it is customary to have a special party for young girls when they reach their sixteenth birthday—
sweet sixteen
. In Latin American countries, families celebrate the
quinceañera
when the girl becomes fifteen years old. In a special ceremony, the daughter receives a blessing, symbolizing her transformation from an adolescent to a young woman. But how do we acknowledge and celebrate our boys’ manhood? How do we support them? How do they know that they have become young men and need to conduct themselves like responsible young men?

When a Jewish boy becomes thirteen years old, his father honors him with a Bar Mitzvah celebration. This ritual suggests that the son has become of age and is obligated to observe the commandments. The young man makes a speech that traditionally begins with the phrase, “Today I am a man.” The father recites a blessing, thanking God for removing the burden of being responsible for the son’s sins. Now the child is old enough to be responsible for his own sins.

What about Americans? What do we do with our sons? For most of us, NOTHING!

The ages between thirteen and eighteen are very sensitive. When the son becomes eighteen, he feels liberated from his parents. When he reaches twenty-one, he considers himself an adult man. We must learn a lesson from the Jews. Christian parents must play a more important role in the lives of their children.

I do not have a son, but I believe that if I did, when he became thirteen years old, I would plan a celebration and have his father pray a blessing over him to indicate that at this age he continues to prepare himself to become a responsible young man. A young man who respects his parents, the law, and women will become a grown man who will honor God and his family.

I would also buy him a gold or silver ring or engraved cross as an initiation to a new stage in his life. We have a great responsibility as parents to guide our children in the fear and admonition of God’s Word by modeling a lifestyle of love, respect, and commitment. My family had the great pleasure of celebrating our grandson’s thirteenth birthday and putting this advice to work.

A single mother should seriously consider enrolling her son in a good church program that can teach and guide him during the difficult years of his life. Boys are at a much higher risk at this age than girls. We need to look for ways that will help us involve our sons in educational programs led by responsible Christian role models who will teach them how to live right.

Parents are the most important tutors that a son and daughter will ever have. What we model and live will be the school of experience that will guide their lives.
Celebrate your son’s masculinity!
Give value and significance to the life of your son. Young adolescents can hardly wait to become thirteen. They feel as if a new freedom of lifestyle is on the horizon. If left fatherless and untrained, they can become rebellious and uncommitted.

Malachi 4:5–6 talks about a curse coming upon a whole nation if the fathers’ hearts are not turned toward their children. Today we have a generation of hurting, defiant, and angry children who are not mature enough to process their anger.

Many men need to be set free from the curse of neglecting God’s ordained roles. Many women need to be set free from irresponsible male domination. We need men who will take seriously the responsibility God has ordained for them.

It is a father’s responsibility to leave an inheritance of moral stability and goodness (Prov. 13:22). One of the most important things we can do is to leave
a spiritual inheritance
for our children. It is our responsibility to influence the lives of our children with God’s Word and His love for humanity.

When our children sense that we are willing to give our lives for them, never lie to them, and always want to do the best for them, they will begin to trust us. We leave them
an inheritance of trust
.

E
MPOWER
Y
OUR
C
HILDREN

Take a little time each day to pray and practice this advice. You will reap wonderful consequences. Train your children using God’s precepts, and you will have a peaceful home.

Teach them to bless and keep promises.

Bless them in the morning and in the evening. Speak blessings over them and not curses. Our parents taught us to say, “God bless you.” But nowadays we no longer give blessings. Teach your children to bless. It is biblical, and it causes the enemy to flee.

When we promise something to a child, we must do it. I remember deep wounds, many of them caused by promises that never were fulfilled or explained.

Lead them to welcome Jesus into their hearts.

Teach your children at an early age to know God. When they are three, four, and five years old, lead them repeatedly in a prayer inviting Jesus into their hearts until they say, “Mom, I’ve already said that prayer.”

Empower them to pray.

Teach your children the power of prayer. Give them examples of different prayers, such as prayers of thanksgiving, praise, healing, protection, and guidance. When my daughters were in grade school, they were taught a paraphrased scripture beginning with each letter of the alphabet. We repeated these scriptures in the form of prayers every day until they memorized them. Scripture memorization leaves a lasting impression in the heart of a child. Teach them to pray some of the Book of Psalms. It is not impossible. My mother taught me these prayers and psalms as a child, and I still remember them well.

Teach them how to know Satan.

Through cartoons on television, you can teach your child how Satan works. Use video games or a movie to describe the war between good and evil. Don’t be afraid to talk about this subject. Children today are bombarded with violent entertainment portraying magic, violence, and witchcraft. If the secular world is not afraid to spend billions of dollars to seduce our children to spend hours each day in front of the TV and playing video games, then we too must take a stand to teach our children about the strategies of the enemy. Convey to them at an early age that the power of God is greater than the power of the enemy!

Teach them obedience.

Obedience can be learned. For a child to learn obedience and not fear his parents, it is important that we as parents are obedient to God and His Word. If this is not the case, we must begin by asking forgiveness from God and our children.

This book is for those who want to change and want to see their children spiritually healthy. Train your children by making sure they attend church, go to Bible studies, and get a good education, but also make sure they see you living out your faith on a daily basis. Set the biblical standard as to what is acceptable and not acceptable in the home. Even if you fail or let your guard down or disobey God, your children know you will go to God and ask His forgiveness. Your children will learn to be obedient because they see you are obedient to God.

Empower them to know the Holy Spirit.

I recommend that you pray about introducing the Holy Spirit to your child. I don’t know where I would be today if it had not been for the help and direction of the Holy Spirit. The Bible says that the Holy Spirit is our friend, helper, comforter, teacher, advocate, and the one who teaches us and reveals the truth in the Scriptures.

As an abused child, I remember having many conversations with the Holy Spirit. He always kept me in peace in the midst of the storms. Learn everything you can about the Holy Spirit, and teach your children to depend upon His help and guidance.

“Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you?” (1 Cor. 3:16). As the temple of God, our spiritual being is inhabited by the Holy Spirit. Our inner being is where we stand up against the enemy.

Empower your child by applying sound correction.

One of the problems we face today is how to discipline our children. The law forbids using the
rod
as the Bible instructs us in several verses, including Proverbs 22:15: “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him” (
NKJV
).

What can we do? I have two daughters, and we only had to use the "rod" two times since they were very young. We used a ruler like they used in schools years ago. But my daughters never forgot about that experience. They only had to see the "rod," and they rapidly behaved.

Today, parents go to the school to argue with the teacher about their child’s behavior, blaming the school for the problem. How absurd and counterproductive.

Ask for the Holy Spirit’s help today in order to deal with your child’s disciplinary problems. Never administer discipline in anger; wait until you calm down. Hug your child afterward. Be firm, fair, and caring. Don’t be angry or cruel. Teach your child that you are the parent and you are in control. Don’t discipline until you are under control.

It is a parent’s responsibility to make sure his or her children are consistently and fairly disciplined. Even though they have a sin nature and are not naturally inclined to be good, if we rear them in a good environment and parent them correctly, giving them selfesteem and building them up, as they grow older they will make right choices. Don’t wait until it is too late.

The apostle Paul says it this way in Romans 7:18: “I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.” There will always be a war between our flesh and our spirit. God gives us the power to walk in the spirit and not the flesh.

Children need to learn that there are consequences for their behavior. Teach them that when they disobey God’s Word and authority, there are consequences. Many children today have no self-control because no one has disciplined them. “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him” (Prov. 13:24).

All children flourish when they are loved, encouraged, and properly disciplined. Hug your children. Tickle them and wrestle with them. Smother them with kisses and funny words. It is necessary to continue praying and loving our children with all our hearts.

When they become older, we will not be able to discipline them, but yes, we can pray in faith, believing God’s Word. Our words will perform wonders! Make sure you say lots of good words. The more good words you say, the better the atmosphere you create. This also works in marriages.