Satan Wants Me (42 page)

The garden village of Mit Rahina is situated in the heart of what was once Memphis. In the pre-dawn the sorcerers made their way between the hovels and palm groves and came at last to the area of the former temple enclosure of Ptah. (Ptah is the mummiform god of necropolises.) Servants were organised to start a fire in the vicinity of the Alabaster Sphinx. Although it was still early and the muezzin had not yet made the
fajr
(dawn) call, their arrival in Memphis had not gone unnoticed and Kelley had to pay the headman of Mit Rahina to keep the villagers and their children away from the ritual spot.

The first of the thirteen Chokmah days commenced with the rising of the sun and it was then possible to begin the invocation of Aiwass. The blood of slaughtered cockerels made the fire hiss. Then Robert, having called out the private names of Aiwass, cast Crowley’s special talisman – an Abramelin square soaked in menstrual blood – on to the fire. The purpose of the invocation was to hold converse with Aiwass and to seek that mighty spirit’s assistance in guiding the dead spirit of Crowley into his next incarnation. Robert and Elspeth went so far as to hope that they might be found acceptable as the future parents of Crowley in his next incarnation. (‘So you are the reincarnation of Aleister Crowley?’ I interrupted. ‘No, it is stranger than that,’ Maud replied. ‘Listen.’)

‘Aiwass! Manifest yourself! We shall be content with none other!’

No sooner had Robert completed his call to Aiwass than a wind arose in the north-west and fanned the fire, sending sparks into the air. Felton sat closest to the fire, as he was the party’s designated scryer. However, in fact all of the party saw Aiwass when he manifested himself in the heart of the fire. This demon had taken the form of a naked old man and the old man jumped on Felton and attacked his throat. But Kelley had his exorcism dagger at the ready and he used this to drive Aiwass back into the fire. Then they watched the demon writhe, for Aiwass suffered from the flames as much as any human would. There was nothing shadowy or fanciful about the manifestation of this spirit. All six of them clearly saw Aiwass in the hard-edged light of early morning, even though to see him was to be on the outer edge of sanity.

So Robert held Aiwass in the fire and was thus able to interrogate him under duress. Everything had gone well so far. But when Robert asked for the demon’s assistance in guiding them to Crowley’s next incarnation, the demon told him that he was too late and that Crowley had already taken his next human form. In fact, he had been born in early January. This was an unforeseen development. The Lodge had expected that Crowley would linger for about six months in the world of shades before taking human form again. That would have been normal. Robert now had a whispered consultation with Felton, before turning once more to Aiwass and demanding that spirit’s assistance in guiding them to Crowley’s new incarnation. Then they saw something which no occultist has seen before. They saw Aiwass make invocation in turn to his master and they saw the old man in the fire talking to the monstrous spirit who governed him, though the spirit itself remained invisible, for they were, it must be remembered, at the outer limit of what it was possible to see and still live.

At length Aiwass replied that his master would bring the new incarnation of Crowley to them. However, his master had also decided to take human form and, shortly after the latest incarnation of Crowley should have presented himself to the Adepts of the Lodge. Then his master in human guise would hold intercourse with Crowley. Until those two had met, the Antichrist, that son of perdition who would deceive people into worshipping him, could not appear on earth. So Aiwass’s master would bring Crowley to them. Then Aiwass’s master would come to seek Crowley among their number. When Robert asked the name of the entity seeking incarnation, Aiwass replied that he dared not pronounce the name. Then Robert fell to his knees, for he understood who, or perhaps it should be what it was that sought to descend to earth in human form. Felton took over the conversation with the demon and, after seeking detailed directions about how they were to assist Aiwass’s master in taking flesh, he swiftly dismissed the lesser demon.

Now, of course, everyone in Kelley’s party was familiar with the theory and practice of
congressus cum daemone
. Such intercourse between men, or more often women and spirits has taken place for thousands of years. Indeed, Herodotus described this practice when he came to discuss the curious dealings of the temple prostitutes of Egypt. Moreover, the Black Book Lodge had already supervised several experiments in inseminating and rearing ‘moonchildren’. Nevertheless, the pact that Aiwass seemed to be proposing went beyond anything that had ever been envisaged by the Black Book Lodge or by any of their predecessors.

Therefore, the rest of the day passed in argument, as Felton and Kelley raged at one another on the threshold of the Temple of Ptah while Elspeth and Bridget sat silently listening to their dispute. It was Kelley who wished to break off. He wanted them all to return to England, where surely they would be able to research some other way of locating the infant incarnation of Crowley. But Felton replied that it would be shameful to go back to London with so little achieved. That was the least of it. Beyond that, Felton pointed out the grandeur and honour of the enterprise which had been proposed to them by Aiwass. If they performed the ritual which they were commanded to carry out, they would have decisively undermined the central pillar of the Christian faith and would have changed the history of the world in a most spectacular and terrible fashion. Surely they would be rewarded and most generously rewarded for their indispensable assistance in such an undertaking? Besides it was discourteous to refuse a request from Aiwass’s master. It was certain that such discourtesy would, sooner or later, be painfully avenged.

Although this last argument carried some weight with Robert, he still would not agree that they should proceed with this terrible ritual. Then Elspeth suddenly said that she was eager to perform according to the instructions which had been dictated by the old man in the fire and that she longed to offer her body to the unseen, but Robert stopped her, saying that, if Felton was so keen to carry this thing through, then it ought to be his wife, Bridget, who should be the vehicle of the insemination. So Felton went off to fetch Bridget from her tent and, after some more debate, Robert presented a fist with two straws to the women. Elspeth drew the short straw, which was the one she said she had wanted.

The next bit is, perforce a bit vague, as nobody in the Lodge had ever actually spelt out to Maud exactly what happened next, though by piecing bits of information together she eventually got a fairly good idea. After the dismissal of Aiwass, Ronald had gone off into the desert to amuse himself by taking pot-shots at jackals. Chalmers was sent to bring him back. Meanwhile a goat and a dog were purchased from the village.

The dog was promptly killed and their dinner that night consisted of dog’s flesh with unleavened bread, washed down with a great deal of wine. Accompanied by Charles and Ronald on violins, Bridget chanted hymns by Crowley, while Elspeth made herself ready as a bride for the bridegroom. When the night was well advanced, Robert and Elspeth went off into the desert and they were accompanied by Julian who had charge of the animal, which was now consecrated as the Goat of Memphis. The possibility of bi-semination, though still widely believed in Renaissance times, has since fallen into disrepute with the scientific community. Nevertheless, it is still believed in certain occult circles that, in the right circumstances, the double seeding of a woman’s womb can be successfully carried out.

It was dawn before Robert, Elspeth and Julian returned. Elspeth had to be supported by Robert. Julian had the dead goat slung over his shoulder. Its meat was consumed in a second ritual meal. Although a great deal of wine was consumed, there was little conversation. The following day, they returned to Cairo. Elspeth travelled in a litter, for she was unable to walk for almost a fortnight. In Cairo, Ronald started behaving strangely, but the Master was preoccupied with Elspeth and as for Felton, he was brooding over what he now perceived to be a lost opportunity. For if he had been prepared to push Bridget forward, he might have become step-father of the Devil. Of course, Julian did notice Ronald’s strange state and he stayed close to his friend. However, he may have seen Ronald’s moodiness and his alienation from Elspeth as more of an opportunity than anything else.

Maud is not exactly sure what happened in Cairo, except that Ronald shot himself. She heard contradictory things, but what she thinks happened is that Julian attached himself to Ronald as his shadow. Ronald kept pestering Julian for precise details of what happened to Elspeth with the goat. At length Julian wearied of being evasive and told him straight out. An hour later Ronald shot himself. Julian who was only in the next room rushed in when he heard the shot. He found that Ronald had botched the job, so that, although a large part of his face had been blasted away, he was still alive. Julian finished the job with a second shot. It seems likely that he was going to follow Ronald to Hell, but before he could reload the gun, the Master and Felton came in and took charge of things. Looking backwards on things (literally that is), Julian realised that it was Ronald’s death which had caused him to fall in love with him in the first place.

Three weeks after their return to Cairo, what was left of the party embarked on a boat bound for Southampton. By the time they reached England, Elspeth was certain that she was carrying a baby. From the first, it was a difficult pregnancy as she kept vomiting up hair-balls and what looked like tiny bits of gravel. Towards the end of her time, Elspeth made two bungled attempts at suicide, as she belatedly began to panic at the thought of what was growing in her womb. So Maud was actually born in a mental asylum. Robert and his associates had been expecting that the Devil would choose the male sex for his human incarnation and they had not thought of any girl’s names for the baby when it came. However, Elspeth had been a devotee of Tennyson’s poetry, so Maud was the name on the birth certificate – though, of course, there was also a secret baptism, in which the little girl was given the name of the Lady Lillith Nuit Ma Ahathoor.

Elspeth did not spend long in the asylum – just long enough for Robert to make the arrangements for her to be nursed and guarded in the attic of Horapollo House. Robert himself moved out of the House, having purchased an ordinary semi-detached in Highbury and this was where Maud, reared by a foster mother and a series of governesses, grew up. From time to time, senior Adepts of the Black Book Lodge came to visit her. They respectfully asked her questions and set her tests and they performed curious little rituals which were designed to awaken her memory of her true nature and to activate her dark power. Maud sulkily submitted to these indignities and then went back to her doll’s-house. Once she could read, Robert timidly put texts by Sinistrari and Crowley beside her bed, but Maud stayed obstinately loyal to
Bunty
and
Jill
. She was not an easy child and, later yet, she conducted a vigorous, though unsuccessful campaign to be given a pony. (Refused as hardly practical in north London.) The adolescent Maud was no easier. She mulishly rebuffed her father’s attempts to instruct her in her true nature, for she preferred karate, make-up, clothes and dreaming about boys to all that stuff about the Devil and Satanism.

God so loved mankind that He made himself incarnate as a man and, though relinquishing none of His Divine nature, He then became fully human. Now, the Devil had outdone God by descending to earth in female form and making himself subject to all the travails of womankind, including period pains, the perils of pregnancy and a taste for fashion magazines. The dark power was in abeyance, but only for a time and for a purpose. Thus the Master reasoned to himself and, in time, he became comfortable with this way of thinking. Even so, he still had Aiwass’s promise in his head and how that spirit had foretold that the Devil would bring Crowley to him and that he would bring Crowley to the Devil.

I had always thought of the Master as a terrifying figure and I had seen grown men tremble when he made one of his rare appearances at Horapollo House. Maud, however, thought of her father as one hell of a sad man. Not only had he failed to make the Devil fully manifest in the world and failed also to locate Crowley (though these concerns seemed of little importance to her), but he had also failed to rescue her mother from madness and, above all, he had failed to treat Maud as a human being, never mind love her as his child. Their rows became fiercer and more frequent and eventually Maud found work as a hairdresser and moved into that shared flat which I had once visited. She continued to see her father occasionally and he generously topped up her rather meagre wages.

Maud had hoped that, once she was on her own, she would find it easier to meet and date boys. This was not the case. Although she was beautiful and several boys did try to pick her up, her awkward manner always ensured that the first date with any boy was also the last. Eventually she resorted to computer dating.

When, after quite a few diversions and recapitulations, she reached this point, I interrupted,

‘It is unbelievable! It is one hell of a coincidence that I, a disciple of the Master, should meet his daughter on a blind computer-date. I just can’t get my head round that.’

Maud looked at me with fond contempt,

‘Peter, you are such a thicko! No sorry, you are lovely, but your brain does not seem to be functioning this evening. That was a set-up, you see! Granville never posted your form. Pa and Felton just wanted to bring us together and the computer-dating dodge was my idea, as I did not want you to be told by Felton or someone else that it was your occult duty to love me and then have you frogmarched by Adepts of the Lodge to your first date with me. I was right, wasn’t I?’

‘But why me anyway?’

‘When is your next birthday?