Sasha’s Dad (5 page)

“I have six months until I begin working on my physical-therapy degree. I’ve got an internship at the clinic, but it’s only part-time. I’ll be here for the Sheep and Wool Festival—and I can help you with starting up the yarn shop. It’ll be a nice break for me.” Jewel grabbed one of Dona’s pecan cookies, which she’d taken from the freezer. Mom always froze extra batches she’d baked so the girls could take them out to thaw and enjoy.

Claire looked at Jenna. “Are you sure you can take time off for this?”

“The Sheep and Wool Festival is just one weekend, right?” Jenna sipped her iced tea.

“Yes, but I need help on Thursday, then I need someone to work shifts with me so I know the llamas are safe from overexcited festival attendees.”

“Count me in.” Jenna smiled at her older sister.

Sitting around Mom and Dad’s kitchen table made the years fade. If Claire closed her eyes, she could still see the whole family here, meal after meal.

“It’s great that you two want to help me. I’d ask Mom and Dad, but their cruise starts Sunday and they fly out Saturday night.”

Fred and Dona were buying new luggage today.

The twins smiled. Even at twenty-two they were undeniably linked more than average siblings. They shared Claire’s green eyes, but had straight, bright red hair instead of Claire’s wavy blond.

Both Fred and Dona were teachers; Dona still taught sixth grade, and Fred high school mathematics. During their spring break, they’d decided to take themselves on a cruise.

Claire laughed. “I wonder if they’re fighting over what color luggage to buy.”

“Doubtful.” Jenna grinned. “As long as Mom’s happy, Dad is, too. Odds are he lets her pick whatever she wants. He intends to set the mood for a romantic Caribbean cruise.”

Jewel held up her hands. “I don’t want to hear any details.”

“Me, either.” Jenna shook her head.

“I agree, no details. But we’re really lucky that Mom and Dad have each other and that they’re still happy after all these years and everything they’ve been through.” Claire leaned back in the oak chair. It was hard to believe that only a couple of years ago their mother had needed major heart surgery.

“When Mom got sick, none of us had to help nearly as much as we might have. Since Dad went through cardiac rehab, he knew what she needed.” Claire felt it was her duty to be the voice of reason.

“Yeah, and it’s obvious to me that Mom recovered so quickly because she has Dad.” Jewel peered out the window at the plethora of bird feeders Dona had arranged on the back deck. “Look, two robins mating!”

Claire and Jenna groaned. Jewel always seemed to find the romance in every situation.

“Speaking of mating, Claire, what’s going on with you and Dutch?” Jenna took advantage of the moment to ask what Claire was sure she and Jewel had been thinking about all morning.

“What do you mean? He filled in for Charlie while he was gone.”

The twins exchanged a glance. “So why’s he still hanging out at your place?”

“It’s purely professionalism. Dutch has simply been following up on the llamas’ health. He birthed the crias, so it’s only natural that he’d want to keep caring for them.” She hoped she didn’t sound defensive.

“Yeah! I heard he’s been bringing his daughter around, too.” Jenna smirked.

“You never told me!” Jewel slapped Jenna’s arm. “Yeah, Claire. What’s going on?”

Claire rolled her eyes. “I do love being back here, but this is one part I didn’t miss.” She referred to what she called the girl-in-the-fishbowl syndrome. Anything that happened in Dovetail stayed in Dovetail and on everybody’s wagging tongues.

“You’re stalling, Claire. Give us the goods.” Jewel was not letting this go.

Claire took her time, breaking off half a cookie and chasing it with lemon water.

“Dutch brought his daughter, Sasha, over to meet the llamas,” she eventually said. “Sasha and I hit it off. They’ve been to visit maybe half a dozen times. She loves the animals.”

Claire kept to the facts, as the twins were bound to read volumes into each word.

“Ginny’s on her way to law school at the University of Baltimore—” she nodded at Jenna “—with you. Sasha’s going to be lonely for an older female in her life—and it’s nice that I can provide some of Natalie’s history.”

Claire took another bite of her cookie, astonished that neither Jewel nor Jenna had interrupted her musing.

“Sasha’s at an age where she’s naturally curious about what her mother was like at eleven or twelve.” She glanced at each twin in turn. “Since Natalie and I were inseparable at that age, it makes sense for me to be in her life right now. And I want to be. It’s a way of bringing back some good memories.” She splayed her hands on the kitchen table. “It’s also giving me a chance to make things up to Natalie. To make up for the time I wasn’t here when she was sick.”

“How’s Dutch taking it? He must be mad that Sasha likes you, in spite of what you—”

Jenna visibly clamped her mouth shut. Jewel shot her twin a glowering look. Too late. Claire could already feel the wounds in her heart start to seep.

Jewel tried to cover for her blunder. “In spite of missing her mother, I mean.”

Claire gave them a wry smile. “Actually, Sasha isn’t so wrapped up in Natalie at this point. Yes, Natalie was her mother and she’ll never forget her. But I get the impression that she’s ready to move on, that she doesn’t want to be grieving her mother all the time.” The way Dutch still did.

“So Dutch is letting go of his resentment?”

“Are you sure you want to get involved with them?”

Both twins spoke at once.

Claire released a short laugh. “No, it’s clear to me that Dutch isn’t letting go as much as he probably should. But who am I to judge? It’s none of my business.”

Jewel and Jenna shared a “she’s only kidding herself” look.

“Don’t you think you could make a difference? You and Dutch
did
have something once.” Jewel turned back to Jenna for help.

“Yes, when you were in high school I thought you were going to marry him after graduation, or at least after college.” Jenna raised her brows for effect.

“You guys were eight years old. What did you know?”

“Not as much as we know today, and today we know that the whole town’s talking about how Dutch looks since he’s been taking care of your llamas. When we ran into Ginny in Baltimore she told us that his positive attitude’s come back. That’s huge, Claire. He’s been the grouch around here for over three years.”

“Longer if you count when Natalie got sick,” Jenna added.

“I should’ve known you’d talk to Ginny.” Claire looked at her younger sisters, shaking her head.

“Ginny talked to
us.
Saw us at the university open house and filled us in. She’s doing a refresher course before her courses begin. It’s really hard for her to finally leave for law school, but she’s already sacrificed, what, two years?”

Claire sighed. “I’m not doing this for Dutch or Ginny. Like I said, I’m doing it for Natalie, but, most importantly, for Sasha.” As she spoke, an incredible certainty came over her.

All along she’d thought that somehow she would make up for her behavior with Natalie. She’d never expected it would be through Natalie’s daughter, but the opportunity was staring her in the face.

“What about
you
and Dutch, Claire? Natalie’s been gone for years now.”

“Maybe three years sounds like a long time to you, but I’m sure Dutch would beg to differ.”

“Seriously, Claire, what’s keeping you two from at least having fun together?” Jenna was so fresh faced and naive in her query that Claire laughed.

“There’s nothing between Dutch and me. Cool it.”

“But you two were best friends for ages! And the four of you—Dutch, Natalie, you and Tom,” Jenna said, referring to Natalie’s twin brother, “were inseparable my entire childhood.”

“You and Dutch
did
date in high school, I remember!”

Yes, they had dated. More than date—as Jenna observed; Claire had believed she and Dutch were forging a basis for the rest of their lives. Until one night when Dutch’s efforts to comfort Natalie turned into lovemaking…

You’re not being fair. You’d already created a huge rift with your college plans.

“Yeah, but we broke up when Dutch and Natalie got…involved.” Claire’s hands started to itch, and the room felt unseasonably warm.

“You mean when he thought he got her pregnant.” Jenna, always the more practical of the twins, spat out the statement.

“That’s old history.”

“I never understood why you two never got back together. I mean, Natalie
wasn’t
pregnant, and they didn’t get married right away. Why didn’t you and Dutch ever work things out?”

“Our time had passed. I was going to conquer the world, Dutch had vet school ahead of him and Natalie planned to get her B.A. and her master’s in history so she could be an archivist for the state.” She stifled another deep sigh. Fatigue overwhelmed her.

“Dutch had fallen in love with Natalie,” Claire went on. “And she fell for him, too. They were meant to be together at that point.” She stated what she’d only recently come to accept as the truth. It had taken her a decade of sorting out her feelings to understand it.

“You don’t look so good, sis.” Jewel would be a great physical therapist. Her empathy didn’t quit.

“I’m fine. It’s getting hotter in here, isn’t it?”

Jewel and Jenna looked at each other, then at Claire.

“We’re not hot.”

Claire ran a shaky hand through her hair. If they knew about her current attraction to Dutch they’d have her married and living a fairy-tale life.

The thought of spending the rest of her life with him wasn’t something she could afford to entertain.

“Well,
I’m
hot. I need to get back to the farm. Sasha’s coming over in a few hours. Thanks for making lunch, Jewel.”

“No problem. You can do it next week.”

“You bet.”

Claire got out of the house and slipped behind the wheel of her hybrid compact. It was her running-about-town car. She had a previously owned, beaten-up pickup at the farm that she used for hauling supplies.

She was grateful she’d parked some distance from the house so the twins wouldn’t see her slumped back in her seat, head pressed against the neck rest. The discussion about Dutch and their history reverberated through her mind.

She turned the key in the ignition and blasted the air-conditioning, even though the thermometer said it was a mild seventy degrees Fahrenheit.

Guilt clawed at her. The twins were right; everything that had happened between her and Dutch was ancient history.

Yet she’d never swallowed her pride or looked past her constant attraction to Dutch to reach out to Natalie. After she’d served as maid of honor, she’d given up her acting career.

Because every time she’d been with Natalie and Dutch, she’d had to pretend she was fine, happy in her own life.

And not going crazy with her unrequited love for Dutch and her emotional betrayal of Natalie.

She shoved the gearshift into Drive and left her parents’ circular driveway. Memories of that last spring in Dovetail, before college, washed over her. She’d played the victim so well when she’d returned from her weekend away and found out about Dutch and Natalie.

One memory remained intact no matter how many years had gone by. She’d ignored it for so long, but the hurt ran deep. The self-recriminations hadn’t gone away.

It was the memory of how she’d let Dutch go first, before his night with Natalie. She’d backed off from him that last semester of high school. She’d felt he was too possessive, too needy, and he didn’t want to even talk about her college plans. She didn’t understand why he wasn’t equally excited about her decision to go far away to college. He was brilliant and could’ve gone anywhere. But when he was accepted by a college close enough to commute back to Dovetail on the weekends, he’d jumped at it.

Yes, she’d let the relationship go. When she went on an overnight trip her senior year, she and Dutch had all but broken up.

By the time Dutch got together with Natalie the weekend Claire was out of town, his only attachment to her was one of habit. They’d been together so long, grown up side by side, that they’d left things as they were. No big fight, no messy breakup.

Until Dutch had wound up in Natalie’s arms, Natalie in his. It was almost a natural evolution; they were all changing so much, so quickly, back then. And Tom’s fatal accident had pushed Dutch and Natalie over the edge, to each other.

All the justification, all the rationales in the world, hadn’t kept the truth from devastating Claire when she came back that weekend. Dutch and Natalie had sat down with her and they’d faced one another in complete honesty. Natalie couldn’t hide anything from her best friend, and Dutch would rather Claire found out from them than from gossip or rumors.