Sarah's Education (31 page)

Veronica cocked her head at Sarah. ‘Are you sure?’

Sarah nodded. ‘I won’t be the one to make children go hungry.’

Veronica shrugged. ‘Fine. I’m sorry to see you go, Sarah. You had a promising future with us.’

‘But I’m not a team player. I’m sorry too, Veronica.’ Sarah opened the door.

Nancy put her hand on Sarah’s arm. She was still shaking like a leaf. ‘Thank you,’ she said. She swiped at her tears with her free hand. ‘I’m sorry about your boyfriend.’

‘Just be careful out there, Nancy,’ said Sarah. ‘Use your head.’

Nancy nodded. ‘I’ll try.’

Sarah stood in the waiting room for a moment. Debra, the cool receptionist, held out her hand. Sarah took the time to erase the little movie she and Jon had made the weekend he’d been her client, then handed over the BlackBerry.

‘By the way,’ said Debra, ‘don’t get any ideas about striking out on your own. It’s dangerous and won’t be taken well by any of the agencies, including Classique. Got it?’

Sarah nodded. She didn’t trust herself to speak.

The phone rang. Debra picked up. Sarah hesitated, reluctant to leave. Debra waved her away with one hand.

Sarah left. Her life at Classique was over as abruptly as it had begun.

26

ARE YOU SURE
of this amount?’ Sarah stared at the slip of paper the bank teller had just handed her. ‘Would you mind checking again? I deposited two thousand dollars a week ago.’

‘It was two weeks ago,’ said the teller, an attractive young woman in a business suit. ‘And three cheques have been cashed against it since.’ She pointed to the cheque numbers on the statement. Ah yes, Christopher’s April allowance and the rent cheques for not just her room in the communal house, but Donna’s as well. ‘Also a few large payments made by debit.’

‘Right.’ Sarah glanced guiltily at her new purse, a little L.A.M.B. bag in bright spring colours. ‘Thanks.’

She drove home. The Volvo purred like an old cat. Sure, it was in decent condition now, but how long would it be before something started rattling again? Why the hell hadn’t she at least bought herself a new car when she had the money?

Now that she was no longer going to university, her huge student loan would come due. She wouldn’t be eligible for her page job either. And she’d have to move out of the communal house as it was designated student housing. Her landlady had happily made a concession when she took Donna in mid-school year, but now both sisters would have to go. Where?

In a few days she’d have a Bachelor of Arts degree, Honours in Philosophy. What skill set did that suggest? She could think. And, thanks to her months as a Classique escort, she could fuck. She imagined herself in a job interview, wearing something similar to the suit worn by the professional woman who’d given her the bad news about her bank balance. Jesus, that girl
had
been no older than she. Sarah could think and she could fuck, and right now she thought she was fucked.

She had to park a ways from the house as Grad. was only a few days off and everyone was in party mode. The frat houses were practically hopping on the spot to the beat of the music pounding their insides. Kids with plastic mugs of beer hung out on the lawns and porches and patios, soaking up spring sun and yelling at passers-by. She was invited to have a beer with more than one drunken yahoo but Sarah declined, heading doggedly for home. These guys, most of them at least her age and older, seemed like children to her. Barely pubescent.

So her heart lifted when she saw Christopher sitting on the steps of her house. She hadn’t seen much of him since he’d confronted Jon about her marked bum. That night, Sarah had stopped at the pub just long enough to tell Christopher that his debt to her was paid in full, so he needn’t come by on Wednesday nights for ‘tutoring’. Since then, they’d barely spoken.

He held a plastic cup of beer, sipping it absent-mindedly, his eyes glazed with the familiar fuzziness of the contemplative philosopher, but when he saw her the fog lifted and he grinned his familiar gorgeous smile. She smiled right back. Now that he was here in person Sarah realised how much she’d missed him. It was impossible to stay mad at someone as charismatic and loveable as he was, especially when that someone’s mistake had occurred because he cared.

‘Hey,’ she said, plopping down beside him on the steps. ‘Shares?’

He handed her the cup. She sipped and made a face. ‘That’s not lager.’

‘It’s keg swill,’ he said. ‘But it’ll do.’ He took a swig. ‘I’ll be drinking the good stuff soon.’

‘I’m going to miss you, Christopher,’ she said. She hugged him.

‘I’m really sorry –’ he began.

Sarah cut him short. ‘Forget it. I really forgive you.’ She squeezed harder. ‘You were being a friend.’

‘Too bad Perfesser T. isn’t as magnanimous as you. My final mark was a B. You?’

‘A.’

‘But you didn’t even show up for your tête-à-tête with Trelawney. That was worth ten percent!’

Sarah shrugged. ‘My paper was perfect. Anyway, how do you know I didn’t show up?’

‘He said so.’

‘He talked about me?’

‘Yeah. He asked if you were sick or something, since you didn’t keep the appointment. I said I didn’t know.’

‘Anything else?’

‘Nothing else to do with you. We talked about my paper.’ Christopher shrugged. ‘Actually, I didn’t deserve more than a B. He was fair.’

‘Good.’ Sarah took the cup from Christopher and had another sip. For a few moments they sat in silence, enjoying the familiar sights and sounds of the student body at play. Hard to believe it’s all over. Though we still have Grad. to get through.’

‘Not me. I fly out tomorrow morning.’

‘You’re not staying for Grad.? C’mon, Christopher! It won’t be the same without you.’

‘Time to get my ass back to the island and get to work.’

‘Where?’

‘One of my uncle’s hotels. I get to pick my job because I’m family. Maybe bartender or maître d’, maybe work in the casinos. You’d like that, I think. Dealing blackjack or baccarat. Big spenders, even in the low season.’

‘I probably would.’

‘So come with me. We can spend the summer together, really getting to know each other. In the fall you could go with me if you wanted or keep working for my uncle.’

‘It’s tempting,’ she said.

‘So do it! I think we have something, Sarah.’

‘Me too. We have a great time in bed. And we’re good friends. But …’

‘I know. You think I’m too vanilla. I wish I’d known you liked it rough. I would’ve accommodated you.’

Sarah laughed. ‘Thanks.’

‘I never pegged the historian as a kinky brute.’

‘It wasn’t David. We broke up.’

Christopher’s face brightened. ‘Great! I mean, I’m sorry if you’re sad but he wasn’t right for you. So who –’

‘Forget about it!’

‘OK. Then just tell me why.’

‘Why what?’

‘Why do you like to be – you know – beaten?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Really. No idea?’ Christopher frowned. ‘Big-time thinker like yourself has no clue?’

‘Not really. It’s not about dealing with an abusive childhood. I know that much. It’s not about low self-esteem. If anything, my self-esteem is a bit too high.’

‘Maybe it’s a relief to be debased.’

‘Yeah. It’s different, you know? I’ve been told I’m good and smart all my life. And I’ve believed it.’

‘Well, it’s true.’

‘So fine. I think I just like to play that I’m bad and dumb. I think all the time, as you do. But when one is subjected to that kind of pain, and perhaps called a few degrading names as well, believe me, there’s no cognitive thought going on. Just sensation.’ She shrugged. ‘How to explain what turns a person on? There’s a lot of ways to express sexuality and I’m OK with it, whether I understand it or not. You know, as long as it’s consensual, between adults. After that, I’m pretty much of a mind to say, Whatever floats your boat,” and leave it at that.’

Christopher stood. Though it was spring, he wore a sweater and jeans. He stretched long and slipped his hand into the front pocket of his pants. ‘If you like it rough, I’m willing to give it a try. I looked it up online. I think it’d be fun to give you a spanking. Seriously. We can start right now.’

The term ‘long drink of water’ occurred to Sarah. What a doll
Christopher
was! She could just imagine him in his home environment, wearing nothing but a pair of cut-offs. Yum.

Christopher produced a pocket knife and made a show of inspecting the trees on the property. When he found what he was looking for he started sawing at a thin branch. ‘I’ll give you a good switching, you little, um, bad girl,’ he said.

Sarah smiled. It was sexy, watching him strip the leaves from the branch. And it would make a fine percussion instrument. She could practically feel it now. Maybe …

Christopher began switching the tree. ‘Take that! And that! I’m Luke Skywalker and I say the Empire must die!’

‘Christopher …’

‘Who’s your daddy now, Darth Vader! What’s that? You’re
my
daddy? Argh!’ Christopher pretended to impale himself on the branch. It broke. Damn.’

Sarah went to him and stopped him before he could desecrate any more foliage. ‘Your debt to me has been paid, Christopher.’

‘I know. And thank you again for the loan.’

‘It wasn’t a loan.’

‘Well, I intend to pay you back after I become a celebrity.’

‘And as we all know there are so many celebrity philosophers around.’

‘I’ll be a first. Catch me on the talk-show circuit.’ Christopher grinned. ‘Come with me!’

‘I can’t. Thank you for the offer but I can’t. Right now I have to take a break from relationships. I need to, I dunno –’

‘Think?’

‘Yeah.’

They laughed. Both knew that no matter what they did in the future, whether it be waiting tables in a diner or lecturing in an ivory tower, they would be puzzling over theories and concepts that most people never gave a first thought, never mind a second.

‘Then this is goodbye for now, sweet Sarah Meadows.’ Christopher gathered her into his arms.

His full lips covered hers. Rowdy kids began to spur them on
with
lewd comments and unnecessary advice. They broke apart, laughing.

‘Amateurs!’ Christopher taunted the hooting kids. ‘Watch and learn!’

‘Hey you,’ said Sarah. ‘Keep in touch.’

‘E – me, baby.’

Christopher pulled her into another goodbye kiss. Again, it became something much more, a prelude rather than an epilogue. Again, the jeering students egged them on. But this time the kiss ended when Donna’s scandalised voice snapped Sarah back to reality.

‘What the fuck are you doing?’

Donna stuck her key in the door and opened it. ‘Slut,’ she hissed at Sarah. The door slammed shut behind her.

‘Oops,’ said Sarah. ‘Donna!’ Sarah chased her sister up the stairs, but Donna had had a head start.

‘Go away!’ Donna fumbled to unlock the door to her room. ‘Leave me alone!’

The door opened, but not before Sarah reached her. Sarah pushed her way into the room behind her sister. Donna turned on her in a fury. ‘Just because you pay my rent doesn’t mean I’m not entitled to privacy.’

‘I agree. But I want to explain.’

‘There’s nothing to explain. You weren’t tutoring that guy, you were fucking him. Cheating on David when David’s such a nice guy. Shame on you!’

‘David and I broke up.’

‘Oh. He found out? Not from me.’

‘No, he doesn’t know about Christopher. It was something else.’

‘You’re an idiot.’ Donna flopped down on her bed. ‘Mom was right about him. He
is
a keeper. You didn’t deserve him.’

‘That’s true.’ Sarah sat down beside her sister. ‘We have to talk, kiddo. I lost my job.’

‘Hmm.’

‘You know we have to be out of here by the end of the month, right?’

‘Yes.’

‘Well, I don’t know where we’re going. Even if we find a place to rent, I don’t know how we’d pay for it.’

‘Mom and Dad will be here in a few days.’

‘I don’t want to ask them for money.’ Sarah paled at the thought.

‘That’s not what I meant.’

It lay unspoken between them, like a curse that must not be uttered lest it come to be. Go home? All of them, back in St Paul?

‘Fuck.’ Sarah felt like crying. ‘Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.’ She gave her little sister a push and stretched out beside her.

‘I should’ve got a job. I tried but there’s nothing I want to do.’ Donna pouted.

‘What do you want to be?’

‘When I grow up?’ Donna grimaced. ‘You’ll laugh your guts out.’

‘I promise I won’t.’ Sarah took her sister’s hand and rubbed her cheek with it. ‘Tell.’

‘I want to be a housewife and mother who volunteers for worthy efforts in her spare time.’

‘You want to be Mom?’ Sarah giggled.

‘Don’t tell her. And don’t laugh!’ Donna snatched her hand back.

‘But she’d be thrilled. She wants grandchildren.’

‘From you. She expects everything from you – the career, the marriage, the kids. Because she thinks I’m good for nothing.’

‘Yeah, well, I’ve got news for her. I’m good for nothing, too.’

‘What do you want to be, Sarah?’

‘Now that I’m all grown up?’

Donna nodded. This time, she took her sister’s hand. ‘What are your plans?’

‘I plan to graduate,’ said Sarah. ‘After that, I have no freakin’ idea.’

This seemed hilarious to both of them. They laughed till they cried. Then they simply cried, nose to nose, as sisters sometimes do, until they fell asleep.

27

‘TO PRESENT THE
philosophy department’s Bachelor of Arts degrees, we’re honoured to have with us Professor Jonathon Trelawney.’

Sarah wasn’t surprised. There was a stir of pleasure among the black-robed students she sat among. He’d been a popular prof.

Jon approached the podium. He’d traded his customary tweedy look for a black suit, white shirt and striped tie. A few of the women in the crowd sighed audibly.

The MC continued his introduction. ‘Seneca University has had the pleasure of Professor Trelawney’s presence for a mere semester, but in that time he’s become one of the most popular philosophy professors in the department. So it is with regret that we bid farewell to him and wish him good luck in his future endeavours.’