Sara (14 page)

But once the novelty of it, the hurt, wore off, she found she didn't care that he was. She liked him, cared about him, wanted him to be happy. She worried about him, wondered if he was okay. If people were being that nasty about
her
, she could only imagine how nasty they were being to
him.

And if Noah was any indication, it was pretty bad.

Noah's tirades about Glenn grew worse once football practice started. He thought Glenn should be kicked off the team, not allowed to shower with the rest of the players, be expelled from school. His words were ugly and hateful, and it was a side of him she didn't like, couldn't understand. How could he be so kind and thoughtful with her when he had all this dark ugliness and hate coiled up inside?

And then came that horrible night at Linda's party.

It was not one of Linda Avery's better parties. The great thing about Linda Avery's parties was the booze. Linda's parents were very liberal and figured it was better to allow teenagers to have booze in a controlled environment than to forbid it, have them sneak it in and get smashed. Linda's parents would also drive anyone home who appeared to have too much to drink, or let them sack out in the barn. It was a nice arrangement, and all the teenagers kept it secret from their parents. Why mess with a good thing?

But this night was different. Linda's parents were out of town, for one thing, so there weren't any adults around to make sure things didn't get out of hand.

And there was something wrong with the atmosphere at that party from the moment they had arrived. Laney sensed it as soon as soon as she got out of Noah's truck. There wasn't as much talking and laughter, but she just dismissed it at first as a by-product of losing the game the night before. Noah hadn't really spoken to her much after he had picked her up—in fact, the cab of his truck had been completely silent on the way to the Avery place. It was weird, and she couldn't help but wonder if somehow Noah had sensed she was ready to break up with him, but she dismissed that. Noah wasn't that sensitive—if he were, he would have let off on all the nasty hate he spewed to her about Glenn. Once they got to the pool area, where the party was, Noah went to get them both a beer. She just wandered around, talking to friends, trying to figure out what was wrong with the party mood.

Finally, Sharon Farmer, another senior on the cheerleading squad with her, clued her in, in a hushed whisper.

“Linda and Tom broke up about ten minutes before you got here,” Sharon whispered, tossing her short brown hair, her eyes narrowed. “They had a huge, hairy, ugly fight. Linda's still crying—she went into the house.”

“They broke up?” Laney was incredulous. Linda Avery and Tom Crenshaw had been going steady since seventh grade. They were an institution at Southern Heights. Everyone just assumed they'd get married after graduation.

“Tom's been cheating on her with that freshman slut, Brenda Wilson.” Sharon glanced around to see if anyone could hear her before continuing. “Linda caught them in the barn, if you can imagine
that
.”

“Oh my God!” Laney was horrified.

“Needless to say, they had a huge fight—it was really ugly, believe you me. And then Tom left with Brenda. Can you believe it?”

“Poor Linda!” Laney sighed.
Maybe it's the night for breaking up
, she thought to herself.

“So, did you see that girl with Glenn Lockhart at Vista last night?” Sharon asked, the innocent look on her face belying the malice in her tone. “Wasn't she just too beautiful? Who was she?”

“I—” Laney bit her tongue. Sharon couldn't be trusted—the joke around school was
telephone, telegram, tell Sharon
. So instead, she just smiled. “Oh, I met her. Her name's Sara Sterling, she just moved here and will be starting school Monday.” She shrugged, hoping she seemed more nonchalant than she felt. “She seems nice.”

“Do you think Glenn's going to go out with her?” Sharon's blue eyes gleamed. “Maybe he's a switch hitter?”

It took all of her self-control not to say something snotty, but she didn't want to give Sharon that satisfaction. “I'm quite sure I don't know. It's really none of my business, is it?” She saw Noah heading toward her, carrying two cans of beer. “Oh, there's Noah. If you'll excuse me? I'll talk to you later.” She walked away, boiling inside. Noah stopped by the diving board, waiting for her to catch up to him. She took her beer from him. “Thanks. Did you hear about Tom and Linda?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “Never could figure what Tom saw in her anyway. That Brenda Wilson is a nice-looking girl, though.”

“She's a
freshman
,” she replied, taking a sip of her beer and inwardly shaking her head.
How typical
, she thought.
Forget the fact that Linda's gone out with the bastard for five years—as long as the new bimbo's cute enough, who cares? Boys are such assholes.
She wanted to slap him senseless.
I've got to break up with him
, she thought.
I don't even like him that much as a friend. I can't believe I ever let myself get involved with him. Whatever did Laura see in him?

The night went downhill from there. Linda eventually emerged from the house and put on a brave face. Laney felt sorry for her and made an extra effort to be nice to her. But there was no saving the party. More kids showed up, and Linda put some music on for dancing. No one wanted to dance, but some of the kids were getting drunk—too drunk. Laney wanted to leave, but every time she mentioned it to Noah, he put her off.

It was around eleven thirty when he grabbed her by the arm and dragged her around the side of the house.

“That was rude—I was talking to them!” She yanked her arm away from him. “Jesus, Noah, what's wrong with you?”

He pushed her up against the house and started kissing her. She tried pushing him off but he was too heavy, too strong for her. She squirmed and twisted, trying to keep her head turned away from him.

Just when she was about to scream, he stepped back from her.

“What's wrong with me?” he sneered at her. “What's wrong with you, Laney? Suddenly I'm not good enough for you anymore, is that it?”

She was so shocked she just stared at him.

“Just get off your high horse already. It's not like I was your first.”

“I—” She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Where was this coming from?

“I know you slept with Tony Martin when we were sophomores,” he went on. “Who else? Did you let Glenn?”

She just stared at him, unable to think of anything to say.

He stared at her. “Come on, let's get out of here. This party sucks.” He moved away, and stopped. He looked back at her. “You coming or not?”

The big blow-up, though, had come on the ride home.

He went into a tirade in the truck about Glenn as left the party. She hadn't thought he'd been that drunk; she'd only seen him nurse a single can of beer all night, otherwise she would have never let him drive.

She finally cut him off. “What is wrong with you? You've changed. You've been acting weird ever since school started.”

“You think it's cool that they let a fag in the showers with the rest of us?” He'd sneered back at her. “Looking at us all—naked and wet and…” His voice trailed off for a moment, and then he launched back into his tirade.

“I don't want to hear this anymore,” she'd said as the truck sped through the night. “It's ugly and I want no part of it.” She let out her breath. “And I don't think we should see each other anymore. We're done.”

That stopped him dead in his tracks.

In one second he went from raging anger to desperation.

He'd begged and pleaded with her to change her mind, give him another chance, but she refused. And when they'd reached her driveway, she'd gotten out of the truck and slammed the door, storming off to her house, feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders. She felt so much better. She went into her bedroom and shut the door behind her, feeling alive for the first time in she didn't know how long. She'd plopped down on her bed, deciding she was going to call Glenn the next day, make amends. The shock had worn off and she didn't care—she wanted him to be happy and she would stand by him.

“I should have done that when they painted his locker,” she said to the ceiling. Noah hadn't admitted to it, but she was sure he was involved—she'd seen a can of black spray paint in the cab of his truck but hadn't said anything to anyone.

She was ashamed of that. She was ashamed of so many things. But she could make amends, make things better, make things
right—
not just with Glenn but with Laura, too.

Little did she know that while she lay there on her bed making her plans, Noah had rolled his truck and died. Less than ten minutes after dropping her off at home, he'd been crushed to death.

She hadn't told anyone about the breakup, and it was eating her up inside. The guilt of wondering if his death had been her fault, if maybe if she hadn't broken up with him that night he wouldn't have been driving so recklessly. She hadn't told the county sheriff when he came by to question her. Everyone just assumed he'd gotten drunk at the party, and she knew that some people blamed her for letting him drive drunk. The funeral had been a nightmare. The Greenes were so nice to her, wanted her to sit with them—the whole thing had been torture.

“Noah would want you here, I'm sure he knows and is happy you're here with us,” Mrs. Greene had said to her, squeezing her hand. Mrs. Greene was enormous, with graying black hair and her chin disappearing into the roll of fat underneath it. Laney couldn't tell the Greenes she'd broken up with him right before he died. So she sat there with his family during the service, his mother constantly squeezing her hand, squirming inside with guilt and fear.

That was where the dreams came from
, she reminded herself again.
From the guilt.

The band was now playing a badly out-of-tune rendition of a song she couldn't recognize. Candy was still talking and holding her hand. She gave Candy a big smile. “Thanks,” she said, interrupting her and standing up. She smoothed her sweater down. “I think I'm going to get a Coke.”

“Okay. You want me to come with you?”

“No, I'm good.” She slung the strap of her big purse over her shoulder and walked away down the track.

She passed groups of people, nodding and smiling as she walked.
Let 'em judge me for being here
, she thought,
I don't care anymore.

The concession stand was right under the scoreboard, and there wasn't a line. She got a Coke and paid for it, nodding and smiling politely to Terry Miller, the junior girl working the window. She didn't like Terry—she was a nasty gossip and a Jesus freak to boot—and she'd said some horrible things about Glenn. She wanted to reach into the window and slap the snot out of her, but refrained. She knew as she walked away Terry would start talking about her. She walked back down the track. Candy was still sitting on the bench, joined by some of the other cheerleaders.

She sat down next to her and asked, “Did you get to see Tony today?”

Candy turned to her and smiled. “He was asleep when I stopped by the hospital today, but his mother said he regained consciousness last night for the first time. Thank God, he's going to be okay.”

Laney gave her an impulsive hug. “That's great news!” She made up her mind—she'd wanted to go visit him since the accident. “I'm going to go see him tomorrow. Do you want to come with me?”

Candy smiled at her. “I'd like that, Laney. It's so depressing seeing him lying in that bed, white as a ghost. It scares me, and I'm sure he'd love the company, too.”

“It's weird, isn't it?” She took a sip from her Coke. “I mean, look at how injured Tony was, and Glenn got out of it with just a couple of bruises.” She knew she wasn't being fair to Glenn—ever since the accident he'd been walking around looking like a wraith. She'd wanted to talk to him—not just about the accident, but so many other things—but getting him alone without Sara Sterling around was impossible.

Candy gave her a sharp look. “You never know what's going to happen in an accident—stranger things have happened.”

The other girls had moved away from them, chattering about something as the band marched off the field.

“A lot of strange things have been happening around here lately.” Laney took another drink.

“Yeah.” Candy ran a hand through her mane of red hair. “If someone would have told me last summer any of this would happen I'd have thought they were crazy.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah.” Candy flashed her a smile.

“Where do you know Sara Sterling from?” Laney looked down at her shoes.

“What?” Candy's eyebrows came together.

“You were with her that night at Vista before Glenn and Tony showed up. Where do you know her from?” She managed to make her voice sound casual and light, even though her heart was pounding.