Santa's Secret (9 page)

So they agreed to meet up just before two
and walk the children down to the Centre.

“Do you mind me going, Daddy?” Isabel said
as they went to part. “Perhaps you can do some work while I am gone.”

“Or you can play with Mummy,” Oscar
suggested helpfully.

Rudi tried unsuccessfully to stifle a
laugh, and Eva gave in and erupted into giggles. The two children looked
confused, and she fought to get it back under control and smiled at them. “Of
course. I saw a Monopoly box in the cupboard.”

Rudi snorted and steered Isabel towards
their door. “See you at two,” he called over his shoulder, giving her a
parting, semi-scolding glance and mouthing the word
Behave!

She waved and backed into her own cabin,
shut the door and leaned on it as Oscar raced off to bounce on the bed.

Her heart hammered as the reality sank in.
Two whole frickin’ hours with no children, no mother-in-law, no need to think
about anything except herself and the handsome Viking.

Oh. My. God.

Rudi’s brain refused to function.

Isabel settled herself in front of the TV
and got out her colouring books, and he sat in front of his laptop at the table
and pulled his folders towards him, but the figures swam before his eyes, and
after ten minutes of staring at the screen he pushed it away and walked over to
the windows overlooking the forest.

His heart raced, and a prickle of
excitement descended his spine.

Don’t be ridiculous,
his brain told him.
Nothing’s going to happen. She’ll have
changed her mind by then and you’ll end up looking a fool if you turn up all
eager.

But his heart refused to slow, and his mind
played through the images of Eva it had recorded so far—the moment when he’d
first turned around to see her standing there, eyes wide with surprise; the
warmth and beauty in her face when she cuddled her son; the way she lit up when
she laughed, the corners of her eyes crinkling and her straight white teeth
gleaming; and the glorious moment when he’d kissed her. She’d obviously wanted
him to, her eyes had told him that, plus her amazingly open statement,
Don’t
you just wish, sometimes, that things didn’t have to be complicated?

He supposed he should have been turned off
by her forwardness, but in truth something had lit inside him at her honesty.
He understood what she was trying to express because he felt the same way.
Being single again after seven years of marriage, as well as passing thirty,
had proved to be a challenge. He had never liked the dating game, although he’d
forced himself to take part and had managed to have a few girlfriends before
Vanessa came on the scene. But the thought of asking a girl out again, getting
to know her, and then trying to broach the subject of taking her to bed, filled
him with a wary hesitation he had not expected.

So Eva’s statement, and her obvious desire
to just have some human contact, to love and be loved, even for a short time,
made perfect sense, and it appealed to him greatly. And ultimately, what was so
terrible about two almost-strangers coming together for some mutual pleasure?
They were both single, consenting adults, in the similar position of knowing
that a new long-term partner would have to be comfortable with taking on their
child, which was bound to put a lot of people off. Why shouldn’t they take
advantage of this precious fleeting moment in their lives, like the conjunction
of planets that only happened once every thousand years?

Rudi looked out at the snow, remembering
how he’d stroked Eva’s neck in the restaurant, and the sensual way she’d dipped
her head and leant into his caress as he’d traced around to her nape. Such a
brief, innocent touch, but he’d watched her eyes dilate and her lips part, and
had felt the answering surge of desire in his own body, which had hardened at
the thought of taking this woman in his arms and making love to her.

Would she change her mind over the next few
hours? Or would she still be as excited at the prospect of sharing herself with
him as he was with her?

He wouldn’t know until he saw her again.
But until then, perhaps he should take the chance and pretend that it
might—just might—happen.

So he took a long shower, even though he’d
only had one a few hours before, had a shave, splashed on his most expensive
aftershave, and chose his newest boxer-briefs to wear beneath his clothes.
Pulled on his jeans and a white shirt, then tugged on a light blue jumper over
the top, which Frieda always said went well with his eyes.

Put on a tie.

Took it off again.

Ran his fingers through his hair, checked
his teeth, clipped his fingernails, wondered whether to trim his sideburns,
worried about that for a while, then finally walked out of the bathroom,
exasperated with himself and determined not to think about Eva until two
o’clock.

He made Isabel some lunch and had a small
sandwich himself, poured a mug of coffee and sat at his laptop. Forced himself
to concentrate and send a few emails.

But it was no good. With only half an hour
to go, he couldn’t sit there any longer. So he picked up his mug and took it
over to the sofa, and sat beside Isabel where she was curled up, watching the
end of the old black and white movie,
It’s a Wonderful Life.

“Wow, I haven’t seen this in years.” He
lapsed into Finnish as they often did when they were alone and he forgot he was
supposed to encourage her English.

“It’s so sad.” Isabel pressed her fingers
to her lips as George Bailey and his family welcomed their friends into their
house. “Everyone’s come to help him. He was going to throw himself off the
bridge and commit suicide, but the angel came down from Heaven to stop him.”

“Clarence,” Rudi remembered with a smile.

“Yes. And Clarence showed him what a
terrible place the world would be without him in it, and that’s why he
shouldn’t kill himself.”

“It’s true. We all affect many more people
than we realise.”

She watched the ending where the bell rang
to indicate the angel had got his wings, and then she moved closer to Rudi, so
he lifted his arm, and she snuggled up to his side.

Was she getting nervous about going to the
Little Elves Club? Although she went to school, she was a very shy girl and
didn’t go to many after school activities.

“How are you feeling?” he asked her. “Are
you looking forward to the club?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“You don’t have to go,” he said gently. “If
you really don’t want to.”

“It’s okay, Daddy, I want to go. I think
Oscar will enjoy it, and I’d like to have a go at the crafts. I could make us a
Christmas decoration for our tree.” She pointed to the small tree that stood in
the corner of every cabin.

“That would be nice.” He planted a kiss on
the top of her head. “Do you mind that I’ve brought you here for Christmas?
I’ve realised that I didn’t really ask you—I just told you we were going. Would
you rather have spent it at home, with Grandma?”

She shook her head. “This is fun. Don’t
worry, Daddy, I know I upset you because I said I didn’t believe in Santa, but
that doesn’t mean I don’t like Christmas. Eva said that even though Santa isn’t
real and reindeer don’t fly, Christmas can still be magical, and I think I know
what she means.”

Her little face looked so serious that
Rudi’s throat tightened.
Thank you, Eva.
“That was a nice thing to say,”
he said huskily.

“Yes. I like her. She’s pretty.”

“Yes, she is.”

“I like her dark hair.” She fingered her
own braids.

“Blonde is beautiful too.” He smiled.

“She’s funny with Oscar. She doesn’t tell
him off, but she doesn’t let him have his own way either.”

“I know.”

“She must have been embarrassed in the
shop, when he screamed.”

“Yes, she must have. Do you think she did
the right thing?”

“At the time I didn’t. I thought she should
have picked him up and taken him out. But afterwards I thought maybe it might
have made him worse. Where’s Oscar’s daddy?”

“He died,” Rudi said softly.

“How did he die?”

“In a car crash.”

“Does Oscar know?”

It was a strange question, one he hadn’t
considered. “Well, Oscar is only three, and his father has been dead for
eighteen months, so he was very much a baby when he died. I would think that
Eva has probably tried to explain why he doesn’t have a daddy like the other
children at the kindergarten. But I don’t know. Maybe she is waiting for when
he grows up. So it’s probably best not to say anything.”

 “So when poor Oscar grows up he will
discover that Santa isn’t real and his father is gone.”

Rudi sighed. “I suppose.”

“That’s so sad.”

“Yes. Yes, it is.”

She looked up at the clock on the wall.
“The big hand is nearly on the two, Daddy! Come on. It’s time to go.”

He stood, his mind whirling, and went
through the motions of getting dressed for the cold. Eva wasn’t just a
beautiful young woman out looking for a good time. She’d been through a
terrible trauma, and he had to be careful not to make things worse, not to
complicate matters.

And then he opened the front door and saw
her standing there waiting, and all thoughts flew from his head as he saw the
hopefulness on her face, and the way her expression lit up as he came outside.

“All ready?” she said, a beautiful flush
stealing into her cheeks as she met his gaze. She looked away quickly, as if
worried he could read her thoughts. “Oscar is very excited.”

The boy wore an adorable woolly hat with
two tiny antlers, and he was bounding around in the snow, clearly eager to get
going.

“I like your hat,” Isabel told him.

“I’m Rudolph!” Oscar beamed.

“No, you are not, I am Rudolph,” Rudi said.

Oscar thought that was hilarious and burst
into gales of laughter. His giggles were so infectious that soon they were all
laughing as they walked along the pathway towards the Exhibition Centre.

“Isabel is going to make us a decoration
for the Christmas tree,” Rudi said.

“That sounds fun,” Eva said. “Will you make
one for me, Oscar?”

“I’m going to make a hundred-and-one
decorations,” he said, skipping along in the snow.

“That’s his favourite number at the
moment,” Eva explained with a quick glance up at Rudi. The blush returned, and
she looked away again. “How many presents do you want for Christmas, Oscar?”

“A hundred-and-one!”

Rudi laughed. The boy was a treasure, full
of life, a handful to be sure, but he wasn’t bad really, just lively and full
of energy.

And it was nice to see some of that energy
rubbing off on Isabel. She joined him in skipping along the path, and it was
only when she laughed at something the boy said that Rudi realised how little
she laughed usually.

“You look sad,” Eva said. “Everything
okay?”

He glanced across at her and smiled. “Yes.
It is nice to see Izzy enjoying herself.”

Eva nodded, met his gaze, and held it for a
brief moment before looking down. What was she thinking? Was she regretting her
decision? The way her face had lit up when he came out of the cabin suggested
otherwise. But surely she was feeling the same nerves that fluttered in his own
stomach at that moment?

They crossed to the Centre and took the
children through to the room at the back. There were already about a dozen
children there—all seated around a table filled with coloured paper, glue
sticks, glittery stars and cut-out shapes.

One of the elf helpers came over to Izzy
and Oscar with a smile. “Hello! Have you come to play with us for a while?”

They both nodded solemnly, and the helper
led them over to the table and found them a seat. Within minutes they were
sticking glitter onto a large cardboard angel shape to make a decoration.

Another elf took their names and cabin
numbers and said they would telephone if the children wanted to come home, but
promised that that rarely happened because they had lots of things to do and there
wasn’t really time for them to get bored.

So Eva kissed Oscar, and Rudi kissed
Isabel, and then they waved them goodbye and went outside.

The snow was falling again, small dry
flakes this time that danced in the breeze and made it look as if everything
was dusted with icing sugar. The buildings around them glowed in the
semi-twilight and the snowflakes sparkled beneath the lamps, reminding Rudi of
the glitter the children had been playing with. There was an air of magic about
the place, of waiting, of anticipation.

“Two more sleeps…” Eva said.

So she could feel it too?

They walked a little way down the path,
then slowed to a halt.

Eva turned to look up at him. She’d jammed
her hands in her pockets and hunched her shoulders a little. Her large brown eyes
were bright, her pale cheeks still touched with a light blush.

He hesitated for a moment, not sure what to
say. He didn’t want to put his foot in it if she was about to say,
Actually,
on second thoughts I’ve been thinking…

He cleared his throat and looked across at
the shops. “So, we have a little while on our own. What would you like to do?
Um… Shall we go shopping, or maybe have a drink in one of the restaurants?”

She moistened her lips with the tip of her
tongue, the same way she’d done when she’d asked him,
Don’t you just wish,
sometimes, that things didn’t have to be complicated?

Then she moved a bit closer to him. She
took her hands out of her pockets and rested them on his chest. Then she
reached up on tiptoes and pressed her lips against his.

They were cool and soft, and he closed his
eyes for a moment, enjoying the smell of her perfume, the warmth of her skin
next to his.

Then she pulled away and looked up at him
again.