Sandra Hill - [Vikings I 01] (40 page)

Jack stared at her quizzically, shifting impatiently from foot to foot. Suddenly he remembered and a grin curved his lips slightly, but did not reach his eyes. He shook his head incredulously.

“I wasn’t up to Dolly Parton tonight. Jack Daniels suits my mood better.”

His discerning eyes impaled her, not giving an inch.

“Are you up to
me?
” Ruby asked shakily, hating the vulnerability of her question.

Disbelief swept Jack’s features before he forced them back to impassivity. “Go home, Rube,” he ordered flatly. “You’ve already pushed me to the edge. I can’t guarantee what I’ll do—”

“Jack, I’m sorry. Please, let’s talk about—”

“No!” he declared icily, grabbing her arm and turning her forcibly toward the door. “I told you this afternoon
that the time for talking was over. Dammit, can’t you see that I’ve had enough?”

Ruby’s heart ached at the sad hopelessness in Jack’s eyes. Lord, she must have been blind not to have seen how much she’d hurt him these past months. She had to convince him that their marriage was still salvageable.

“Jack, please listen to me. Something important happened to me today after you left,” Ruby injected quickly as she pulled out of his grip and ducked around him and back into the living room. “I need to tell you about it.”

“What?”

“Well, I had a really weird experience,” Ruby began, licking her dry lips, “This thing that happened…well, it made me do a lot of thinking, and anyhow, I made some baklava for you, and I wondered if I could make some coffee to go with it and we could talk.” Ruby knew she was rambling senselessly, but how could she possibly explain her time-travel to Jack with him hovering over her, so resistant, practically pushing her out the door?

“What the hell is going on with you?” His eyes narrowed suspiciously as they raked over her. “You look different.”

“I
am
different. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.” Choking back tears, she turned to the kitchen, needing a minute to get her emotions under control. She kept swallowing hard to prevent herself from crying. Pity was not part of her plan.

Plan!
Ruby remembered another plan, in another time, and how that had turned out. She closed her eyes on the painful thought.

“Are you crying?” Jack asked, exhaling sharply with exasperation as he followed her into the kitchen.

“No,” she lied on a broken sob.

“Please, Ruby, you know I can’t stand it when you cry.” He put a hand on her shoulder and turned her, only to
exclaim, “Where did you get that pin?”

“Huh?” Ruby looked down and saw the dragon brooch on the lapel of her blouse. She smiled and touched it gently. “From you,” she answered without thinking.

“Cut the crap, Ruby. I never gave you that pin, and whoever did must have spent a fortune. It looks
very
valuable.” His bleak eyes accused her angrily before he pivoted away.

He was jealous. Oddly pleased, Ruby put a hand on Jack’s arm, running her fingers tenderly over the crisp fabric before she could stop herself, and told him softly, “Jack, I didn’t get it from another man. And I’ve never been with anybody but you.” Well, that was sort of the truth, Ruby rationalized.

He jerked his arm away from her, but when he turned back, Ruby saw that the anger and jealousy had disappeared, replaced with a weary desolation. Adultery was not the problem between them, and never had been.

“Where are the boys?”

Ruby told him, and he seemed satisfied. She was glad he didn’t ask if she’d told them yet about his leaving. While she prepared the coffee, he sipped his drink and watched her every move with wary suspicion.

“Will you pour me a brandy until the coffee is ready?” she asked. As she sipped the potent liquor, hoping it would give her courage, she prepared a tray to take into the living room. Finally she set the tray on a table near the couch while Jack put more wood on the fire.

“This room and that fireplace bring back so many memories of happy times here,” she said wistfully.

“Give me a break, Ruby. You haven’t been here in more than a year,” Jack reminded her. “The boys and I are the only ones who come anymore—for fishing.”

Jack finished his drink in one long swallow, then sat down and ate one of her pastries, sipping the black coffee. Then he ate another, and another. Ruby realized that he
probably hadn’t eaten all day. The kitchen showed no evidence of use.

Ruby stared at him miserably as he sat eating in cold silence. How could she get through that shield he’d erected around himself?

“I remember when you bought this place,” Ruby mused, running her fingertip absently around the rim of her empty coffee cup. “It was our tenth wedding anniversary. Your business was booming and you wanted to celebrate in a big way.”

Jack stared at his hands, listening but saying nothing. Suddenly Ruby remembered something else. “Do you remember how we christened the house? Right here in front of the fireplace?”

Jack jumped up off the sofa and stood hovering over her.

“Stop it, Ruby. Just stop it.” He picked up his suit jacket and jerked out, “If you won’t leave, I will.”

Desperation overwhelmed Ruby. She had to stop him.

“Jack, what would you do today if you knew there would be no tomorrows?” The foolish, desperate question was tossed at his departing back.

Jack swiveled and his eyes shot up in surprise. His lips curled downward with annoyance. “Rube, I’m not in the mood for silly games. Give me a break and—”

Ruby halted his words with a raised palm. “No, I’m serious. It’s an important question. Please, Jack, indulge me.”

Jack stared at her for a long moment, then dropped his jacket on a chair and sat back down, staring forlornly into the fire. Finally his eyes lifted and stabbed hers demandingly.

“You tell me, Rube.”

“Well, actually, I did ask myself that question today after this weird experience that I’ll tell you about later,” Ruby began hesitantly. “I didn’t even have to think twice.
I realized I would beg you to come home and give me a second chance. This love you and I had…have…is too precious to lose.”

Precious!
That was the word Thork had used just before he died.

A muscle twitched beside Jack’s lips. “I love you, Rube. I probably always will, but love isn’t enough for me anymore.”

“What do you want me to do? I’ll do anything if you’ll just—”

“Don’t beg, and don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Jack said.

Ruby blinked rapidly to keep the tears welling in her eyes from overflowing. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she continued to plead her case. “You probably don’t remember this, but I was thinking today about that time when we were eighteen and you asked me to marry you. You said, ‘We can make it work. I’ll love you forever.’ And then—”

“I remember,” Jack interrupted coldly. “I remember
all
of it, but that was a long time ago.”

“—and then I thought of all the good times we’ve had,” Ruby persisted. “I can’t just let it go without a fight.”

“Why are you doing this? And why now?” he groaned and put his hands over his eyes. Lifting his head, his gaze met hers again, full of pain. “Nothing, absolutely nothing, is any different. I told you this afternoon that the time for words was over. I want out. I’m going to miss you like hell, Ruby,” and his voice cracked before he went on, “but I’m sick of the arguments and pain. Our marriage sucks.”

“That’s not true,” Ruby choked out.

“Ruby, let it go. You’re breaking my heart. We’re breaking each other’s hearts.”

“Maybe we needed to do that to start healing. Mayhap we can glue each other’s hearts back together again, and be even stronger.”

“Mayhap?” Jack asked with an arched eyebrow.

Ruby grinned at her slip into the Viking speech pattern and continued to plead, “Things
are
different now. I’ll show you. I’ll make it up to you. Just let me try.”

“How?” Jack demanded as he stood over her with hands on hips. Are you going to give up your business? Are you suddenly going to become Supermom? Will you make my breakfast in the morning and be waiting for me at the door at night?”

Ruby gulped at his harsh words. “Is that what you want?”

Jack ran his fingers through his hair in agitation.

“Hell, no! I want a woman to love, who will love me in return. I want to be the most important thing in her life, not a G-string.”

“You are.”

“I’m not and haven’t been for a long time.”

“You
are!
I just haven’t told you or shown you enough, I guess.”

“Damn right, you haven’t. When was the last time we made love, Rube?”

“I…I don’t know,” Ruby admitted feebly, trying hard to remember. How could she forget something so important?

“Well, I do. It was six weeks ago, and you were so tired I may as well have been screwing a light bulb.”

Ruby gasped at his condemnation of her lovemaking. Her stomach churned at the deterioration she saw in her plans for tonight and for their future. Suddenly the implacable expression on his face sunk in.

Their marriage was over.

“I feel sick. I have to go to the bathroom.”

Jack looked incredulous that she’d interrupt their conversation so abruptly, then threw out his hands. “What’s the use! I feel like puking my guts out, too.”

Ruby saw her shopping bag as she dashed for the
bathroom and picked it up. The last thing she wanted was for Jack to look inside and discover the extent of her foolishness.

Locking the bathroom door, she sank down to the floor and bit her fist to keep Jack from hearing the sobs that racked her body.

It was too late for them. Jack had made that clear. She’d waited too long.

It appeared that all her lessons had gained her nothing—Gyda’s words of family and making the man feel important, the head of the household; Thork’s telling her to cherish the moment and relish the gift of love; her realization when his death appeared imminent that family and the love of a good man constituted the most important things in the world, not business success.

She remembered, too, with a sad grin how Thork had told her on their wedding night that he loved her most because she made him smile. Well, dammit, that was one thing she could still make Jack do—smile. If nothing else, this marriage would not end with a whimper. It would end her way—with a bang of laughter.

Ruby took off her clothes with angry determination, right down to the stupid black silk teddy which she’d donned earlier to please Jack.

“Are you all right in there?” Jack asked through the closed door.

Now he worried! “Go away!”

“Let me in.”

“Leave me alone. I’ll be out in a minute.”

Ruby swiped at her eyes and pulled her purchases out of the shopping bag. She smiled with wicked delight. She’d show her stubborn husband. He’d see just what he would be missing. Then he’d be sorry.

At least, she hoped that was the way it would turn out. She sighed woefully, then lifted her chin resolutely.

First she twisted and contorted her body to fit into the
siren-red, skin-tight, spandex body suit, then slid her feet into a pair of matching high heels. Next she pulled the long blond wig out of the bag and put it on. She looked in the small mirror over the sink, and almost fainted.

Giggles bubbled on her lips. Good heavens! In trying to look like the blond chippie in spandex that she’d told Jack about earlier today, the one he would probably be looking for once he left her, she’d turned herself into an aging Madonna. If she struck out with Jack, she quipped to herself ruefully, she could always stop at a bikers’ bar on the way home.

But, even as she made mental jokes with herself, Ruby wept inside at the thought of losing Jack forever.

Jack was leaning his head against one forearm on the fireplace mantel when Ruby returned. His other hand held a second glass of Scotch.

Ruby faltered at the look of abject desolation on his face. She had brought him so low. But then, she figured she had nothing else to lose, and neither did he.

Ruby posed provocatively against the door jamb, fearing she looked more silly than sexy.

“Hey, buddy, could you give a girl a ride in your new Corvette?”

Jack turned and his glass fell to the floor, shattering and splashing liquor on the carpet.

“Holy shit!” He swallowed hard and gaped at her, then burst out laughing. Not a little laugh. This was side-splitting, deep-from-the-stomach mirth.

Ruby frowned in annoyance, but went on weakly, “I told you earlier today that you would probably be wanting to find a young chippie in spandex.” Ruby wilted, beginning to feel extremely foolish while Jack laughed his stupid, bloody head off. “I just figured maybe I…maybe I could be that chippie,” she faltered.

“Chippie? Chippie? Oh, my God! Are you out of your mind?” Jack choked out, holding his side as if in pain.
“Some chippie you make with mascara running down your face.” He burst out laughing again.

Ruby touched her hot cheeks. Her fingertips came away black.

When Jack’s laughter died down and he’d wiped his still-twinkling eyes, he asked in surprise, “Why are you crying anyhow?”

“I am
not
crying,” Ruby denied, even as tears streamed down her cheeks. She turned blindly to run back to the bathroom, mortified to have made such a fool of herself.

Jack caught up with her in the hall and pulled her back to the living room, struggling all the way. Finally he picked her up and held her in his steely arms to prevent her escape. She kicked him with her high heels, and he said a foul word, but would not release her. They both fell back, half on, half off the couch.

She continued to fight, and Jack forced both her arms over her head and held them down with his hands. He pinned her lower body to the edge of the sofa with his hips, his face buried against her neck. Ruby smelled his cologne and the sweet scent of honey from the baklava. She closed her eyes and ceased struggling for a moment, wanting to surrender to Jack’s glorious embrace.

But it wasn’t really an embrace, Ruby soon realized as Jack smiled against her neck, whispering, “Oh, Rube, you haven’t done anything this outrageous since the time you talked me into shaving your legs.”