Sanctuary (Freaks MC Book 2) (22 page)

It was a slap in the face, and as much as he'd like to deny it, Deke knew he couldn't. So he responded in the only way he knew how. “Wanna take a ride?”

~ oOo ~

It would have been so easy to say yes. To just jump on the back of his bike and ride, chasing the horizon until they couldn't ride any further. To feel his muscles flex as he moved with his bike. To fuck and pretend that everything was fixed. It would have been the easiest thing in the world.

“No, Deke. I want you to listen to what I have to say. I'm tired of pretending that everything's fine. And I'm tired of being terrified that you'll decide that you don't want me anymore. That you'll take to the road and never come back.” She sank down onto the chair and rested her arms in the table. “I'm tired of being a victim.”

Deke sat next to her and took her hand. “Do I make you feel like a victim?”

“No. I make me feel like a victim.” She pressed her hand against her chest. “In here. What those animals did to me... I...” She swallowed and forced down the tears that were threatening to fall. “I carry it with me all the time. I just can't shake it off. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, I can feel their hands on me, smell their breath. I can taste them. I don't know how to make it go away, Deke. And that scares me more than anything.”

“
Shit.” He let go of her hand and, pushing his chair back, stood and headed for the door.

“
Deke. Don't...”

“
I ain't running out on you, baby. I just need some air.” He pulled open the door and took a deep breath. “Maybe you should talk to someone. A shrink or something.”

She shook her head. “I thought about it. But how can I without dragging the club into it? And I have Tiny. He's a real good listener.” She stood and joined him in the doorway. “Come with me. I want to show you something.” Taking his hand, she led him outside to her studio.

~ oOo ~

Fuck! His gut twisted as he stared at the painting on the easel. He'd never fully understood her work, but when he'd looked at her paintings he'd always felt he was viewing the world as she saw it. Bright, colorful and full of joy. That somehow she'd captured the delight of a sunny day, or the beauty of a raindrop on a flower. That she saw the beauty in everything.

“
Oh Emma. Oh baby.” He pulled her into his arms and closed his eyes, trying to shut out the dark, ugly, twisted images in front of him. When he found that treacherous fuck responsible for destroying her soul, he was going to rip him apart with his bare hands. “How do I make this right?”

“
I don't know. I think that's for me to do.” Her arms slid around his waist and she buried her face in his chest. “Just don't stop loving me. I know I'm not the woman you fell in love with, but I'm trying really hard to be. If I lost you, too, I don't think I'd survive.”

“
How could I stop loving you, baby girl? You are the one good thing in my life. You were right when you said I'm a coward. I knew how much you were hurting, but I kidded myself that you would be fine... That you were fine. It should be me begging you to stay. I don't deserve you.”

“
You're hurting too, Deke. That's what they wanted. To hurt you. This was never about me – this was about punishing you. When I was alone with them, they talked about leaving you alive but too damaged to ride, so all you had was the memory of them raping and killing me.” Emma pushed herself away from him and looked deep into his eyes. “They didn't succeed. I'm still here and they are dead. We survived.” She smiled. “I know we've got a way to go, but we can get through this. Together.”

“
You should hate me for what happened to you. I caused this.”

“
No, you didn't. You were trying to right a wrong. You saved me, Deke. You and your brothers are the reason I'm alive. You have to stop blaming yourself.”

He didn't deserve her love. No matter what she said, he
was
the reason for her pain, but no matter what, he knew he could never walk away from her. “I love you, Emma. Not sure if I'll ever forgive myself, but I promise I will never walk away from you.” He bent and kissed her. “I got a couple of jobs lined up and some unfinished business to take care of, but how about I talk to Bugs about that place at the table? If you're sure you can stand to have me around all the time, that is.”

“
Really?”

Oh sweet Jesus, he'd never thought he'd see her smile like that again. “Really. I think it's time for me to lay down some roots.”

TWENTY-ONE

Samson parked the van at the entrance of the trailer park and, stretching, looked over to his companion. “We gonna do this?”

Tiny nodded. “Get the van as close as you can, brother. We don't need him making a break for it. Looks like most folk are still asleep, but we need to get in and out as quick and quiet as we can.”

He didn't need to look at his brother to know how hard he was finding this. Barney was Tiny's oldest friend; they'd prospected together and on two occasions it was the big SAA who'd voted to save his patch. Despite this, as soon as they'd found out he was holed up with an ex on the outskirts of Oakland, he hadn't hesitated. Barney had betrayed them – they still had no idea why – and as Sergeant At Arms it was his responsibility to bring him to justice. Samson took a deep breath. “Okay. Let's get this done.”

When he was clean, Barney had been a good SAA, but thinking had never been his strong point, and the fact that he'd run home was just confirmation of this. It had taken a while, but Samson had always believed that he'd head back to Cali eventually, and when he did, he'd find someone to take him in. The girl he was shacked up with had been hanging around the Bay View clubhouse for years, and when she suddenly stopped turning up for parties, it didn't take a genius to figure out why. Samson couldn't help but wonder whether his former brother had tired of running and was just waiting for the moment they would turn up at his door.

Slowly he drove towards the trailer and killed the engine. Nodding to Tiny, he quietly approached the door and, with remarkable ease, popped the lock. “Okay, brother. You deal with the girl. Keep her quiet till I get that piece of shit into the van. If she doesn't cooperate, kill her.”

Tiny raised an eyebrow. “Don't reckon it'll come to that. She's been around long enough to know how it works.”

Fuck. What was wrong with him? He didn't hurt women. “Just saying, Tiny. Ready?”

“Ready.”

“Morning, shithead.” Samson pressed the barrel of his Glock against Barney's forehead. “Ready to take that ride?”

“
Samson! Shit. I....”

“
I think the answer you're looking for is yes. Move. Now.” The girl in the bed whimpered as he dragged Barney from the bed and pushed him towards the door. “Get in the van, or your bitch dies too.” He kicked him hard in the small of the back. “Although you don't seem to have a problem with innocent women getting hurt.”

“
I.. I had no choice.. They...”

“
Shut the fuck up, you junkie piece of crap.” Tiny pulled opened the van doors and shoved him inside. “You gonna take what's coming like a man, or am I gonna have to hog tie you?”

“
I..”

Never had the feeling of a man's nose exploding under his fist felt so satisfying. Samson rubbed his knuckles and grinned at Tiny. “Fucker never did know when to shut up. C'mon. Let's get outta here. He's got some questions to answer before he dies.”

Vince leaned on the wall with his brothers and watched as Tiny and Samson hauled the semi-conscious man from the van and dumped him onto the warehouse floor. If he was honest, Samson would have preferred to deal with him himself, but this was a club matter. Barney had clearly been feeding information to the Serpiente for a while – certainly the ambushes had stopped once he'd taken off – so any punishment had to be decided by the club, and as the nearest chapter was Bay View, it would be ultimately Vince who decided the man's fate. Not that there was any question, of course. Barney would die. And Samson would get the kill. Samson looked over to the Bay View President. “You want me to wake him up?”

“Yeah.”

Samson kicked him in the ribs. “Open your eyes. The boss wants a little chat.” He crouched down and grabbed his hair. “I suggest you answer nicely.”

Barney blinked and groaned. “I'm sorry, brother.”

“
You ain't no brother of mine.” He dropped his head back onto the concrete floor and looked up at the assembled patches. “I'm going outside for a smoke. Let me know when you're done.”

Tiny frowned. “Don't you want to hear what he's got to say?”

“No. I want him dead.”

“
You want the kill?” Vince pushed himself away from the wall and rolled Barney over with his foot.

“
Yeah. I do.” He'd never actually
wanted
to kill someone before. “When you're done. I want him and me alone.”

Vince nodded. “You got it, brother. Least we can do.”

Outside, the sun was warm and threw dappled shadows through the trees onto the ground. The birds were singing, and butterflies basked in the sunlight. Back in the warehouse, the sound of an electric sander failed to drown out the screams.

Samson leaned on the side of the van and took a long drag on his joint as a feeling of peace washed over him. One more job. Two months and he would be home with the woman he loved. Forever.

The screaming fell silent and the doors flew open. He looked up as Tiny walked towards him and, with a trembling hand, pulled out a cigarette. “It done?”

“Yeah. Twice, I saved that fuck's patch. No way I was gonna let him die with that viper on his back.”

“
He still breathing?”

“
Yeah. Stupid piece of shit was in deep with the Serpiente. Said he didn't realize he was scoring from them till it was too late.”

“
You believe him?”

Tiny shrugged. “Don't much matter. He owed big, and they collected. In Freak blood.”

The Bay View patches filed out, and Vince nodded to Samson. “He's all yours, brother. We'll wait here and tidy up. Go and do what you need to do.”

The only sounds in the warehouse were the slightly uneven footsteps as Samson walked over to an old sink in the corner of the room. He picked up a bucket and turned on the faucet. As soon as the bucket was full he approached the man handing by his wrists from a rafter and threw the freezing water over him. “Wake up, motherfucker.”

Barney groaned as the water hit his back, and opened his eyes. “Brother, please.”

“Told you before. I am not your brother.” He pulled out his knife and cut the rope, grinning as Barney collapsed on the floor. “Get up.” He crouched down and brought his face close to his former brother. “I'm giving you the chance to defend yourself. Never was happy killing a defenseless man.” Barney groaned and Samson's grin grew wider. “No? Oh, okay then.” He stood, reached inside his cut and pulled out a length of lead pipe. He brought it down hard across the raw meat that had once been his back. “Those fuckers raped my woman.” He brought it down again...harder this time. “They took the joy from her life. Every night I hold her until the nightmares pass.” He brought back his foot back and kicked Barney hard in the ribs. “All because you cared more about your next fix than your brothers.”

“
I had no choice. They made me give you up.” It was little more than a whisper.

“
There's always a choice.” He kicked again. “And you, my friend, chose wrong.” Crouching back down, Samson pressed his knife against Barney's throat. “They cut my girl. Every day, when I look at her I'm reminded of what they did to her. She has to see that every time she looks in the mirror. “Did you really think you'd get away with that?” He sighed. “You know what, you pathetic piece of shit? I can't be bothered to waste any more energy on you. I'm not a young man anymore, and as much as I'd love to prolong your suffering, what different does it really make? My girl is still gonna be hurting an' there's nothing I can do about it.”

“
I'm sorry.”

“
Yeah, I'm sure you are.” In a single movement, he sliced Barney's throat and then stood back, watching as he bled out. “Don't change shit though, does it.”

TWENTY-TWO

Beth smiled at the kids and pup, all sprawled, fast asleep, on the rug. “I should bring them more often. Or get a menagerie of my own. I can't remember the last time both of them took a nap at the same time.” She grinned. “I have something to show you.” Reaching into her purse, she pulled out a picture and passed it to Emma. “We had decided not to tell anyone just yet, but I really want to share our news.”

Emma stared at the fuzzy image in front of her. “Is that? Oh my god, Beth. Is that two of them?”

“Yep. God help me, it is.”

“
Oh wow! Congratulations. How far gone are you?”

“
Twelve weeks, according to the scan. And I'm not sure congratulations is the right word. Four kids under five. Shit, I need my head examining.”

Emma laughed. “You'll do great. You're both brilliant parents.”

“Thanks. Just be prepared for phone calls in the middle of the night when I'm having a meltdown.”

No matter how hard she tried, Emma couldn't see Beth having a meltdown. She was always calm and collected. Always in control. Even now, at three months pregnant, she and the kids were immaculately turned out. She couldn't stop the pang of envy as she glanced over at the sleeping kids. She'd always saw herself with a house full of kids and animals before... In the past. Now she wasn't sure if she was equipped to deal with a family. How could she ever bring kids into a world that was so scary? So full of evil. Unbidden, her fingers reached up and touched the scar that ran down her cheek. Things were better – when Deke was around, at least – but she knew she'd never feel completely safe again.

“When's Samson coming home?” Beth bit into her slice of cake. “You must be missing him. How long has it been this time?”

“
He won’t be back for at least a month. And yeah, I miss him. It never gets any easier. At least this is the last time he'll be away for so long.” She smiled. “If he doesn't go stir crazy within a couple of months and take to the hills.”

“
It'll be an adjustment, but he'll do fine. He wants to be with you, Emma. Hell, he worships the ground you walk on.” Beth's smile was a little sad. “You're a lucky girl. Love like that is rare.”

“
You and Tiny are okay, aren't you?” She wasn't sure why she'd asked, there was just something about the way Beth had looked at her.

“
Yeah, we're great.” Beth smiled. “Well, apart from the puking, peeing and chronic tiredness.” She finished her cake, then stood up. “I'm going to have to go. Will you help me load the kids into the car?”

“
Sure.” Emma touched her arm. “You know that if you ever need to talk, I'm here, right?”

“
I know. I'm fine, really, Emma. We both are.”

Emma was beginning to think that Deke had made some kind of schedule to ensure she wasn't alone for too long. Beth would come around regularly, as did Tiny and Felix, and it was amazing how many times one of his brothers just happened to be passing and would just drop by for a coffee. She sighed and began to wash the cups and plates. She knew she didn't go out often – really just to the gallery in Seattle, for lunch with Felix, or to Beth and Tiny's – but she hardly ever had panic attacks anymore, and all the visitors in the world wouldn't make the nightmares go away. Felix was convinced she had post traumatic stress disorder – maybe he was right – all she knew was that the only time she felt truly safe was when Deke's arms were wrapped around her. And that she missed him. She missed him a lot.

~ oOo ~

The Vegas clubhouse was every red-bloodied man's dream. Everything, from the liquor, to the weed and the girls, was top notch. Every whim was catered to and everyone knew what happened in Vegas, stayed in Vegas.

Samson leaned back on the plush leather sofa, and watched as the blonde wrapped herself around the pole. Behind her, leaning against the bar, or hanging off his brothers, identical blondes vied for attention. Sighing, he rubbed his hand across his forehead. Plastic women in a plastic city.

He may have been earning big, running coke from Mexico to Nevada, and god only knew he and Emma needed the money, but he was sick of it. Sick of looking over his shoulder all the time. Sick of the heat, and the dust. Sick of fake women and shitty motel rooms. He was sick of waking up as stiff as a board each morning and of aching bones each night. All he wanted was to do this one last run, then go home to his girl.

A couple of the girls looked over in his direction, but made no attempt to approach him. He'd made it perfectly clear, he wasn't interested. Shit. He was sick of jerking off every night.

His cell buzzed, and, pulling it out of his pocket, he dragged himself to his feet and walked outside. “Hey, baby girl. How's it going?”

“
You know. Same old. Missing you.”

“
I'm missing you too, I've decided to cut this secondment short. I got one more run, then Fox will come and take over from me. With a following wind, I should be home in a couple of weeks.” She didn't respond. “Emma? You still there?”

“
Yeah.” He could hear the sob. “Yeah, I'm here. Oh god, Deke, I've missed you so much. Please be careful. I need you home in one piece.”

“
Always, baby girl.”

~ oOo ~

Anyone with an ounce of common sense would have pulled over. But Deke Samson wasn’t big on that right now. Ignoring the fact that he could hardly see the handlebars, let alone the road ahead, or the fact that he was soaked to the skin and his back and shoulder were screaming at him to stop, he pushed on. He knew he was riding too fast, that if someone pulled out in front of him, or stopped suddenly, he was a dead man. Despite this, he didn’t slow down. Like a man possessed, he rode on, driven by the need to be with his girl.

Finally he turned onto their driveway and killed the engine. He’d barely dismounted before she came running along the path towards him and threw herself into his arms. With her legs wrapped around his waist and his mouth on hers, he carried her into the living room and pushed her up against the wall. It would have been nice to take his time, but that wasn’t going to happen. He couldn’t wait. He needed to be inside her, needed to feel her come. And when she did! Fuck! He thought he was going to die!

As they sank to the ground, he kissed her tearstained cheeks and pulled her even closer. “Shhh, baby girl. It’s okay, I’m home.”

When eventually they recovered, Emma stood and, taking him by the hand, led him to the bedroom. “You need to get out of these wet clothes.”

He grinned and pulled off his hoodie and dropped it on the floor. His cut he hung carefully on the back of the chair before removing the rest of his clothes and sat back onto the bed, watching as she gathered them up to put them into the laundry basket.

Aware of his scrutiny, she smiled. “Something you want?”

“
Weeell.” He leaned back against the pillows. “I’ve always been partial to watching a hot little witch riding my big fat cock.”

She raised an eyebrow. “It’s not that big.” Then squealed with delight as he stood and, grabbing her, threw her down onto the bed.

“So you won’t be interested in having a piece of this then?” He positioned himself between her legs, smirking as she wiggled and bit her bottom lip.

“
I probably could be persuaded. Oooh, Deke. Okay then, if you insist.”

~ oOo ~

“C'mon, baby girl. You look great.” Deke stood behind her and kissed her neck. “You'll be the most beautiful woman there.” Here with him, she was pretty much the same as she'd always been. She no longer pretended, and was as hungry for him as ever. But she was twitchy when she was out, and he doubted she'd ever be so carefree again.

He felt a little guilty about pushing her to go to the clubhouse with him, but Wolf was handing over the reins to Bugs, and he was patching in and taking the VP seat. She hadn't been there since.... before, and although she had agreed without objection, he knew she was nervous. “I'll stay close, baby. You'll do fine.”

She looked at him through the mirror and smiled. “I know. I'm okay, Deke.”

“
You're perfect. Now hurry the fuck up. We have to go.”

~ oOo ~

The clubhouse was packed to the rafters. Emma slipped her hand into Deke's, and he gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Tiny said Beth's too busy puking to come, so while I'm in church, try and stay with Bonnie. There are a lot of guys in from outta town, and she'll make sure everyone knows you're off limits. If anyone gives you trouble, find Spike, he'll put 'em straight.”

“
Spike? Really?”

Deke chuckled. “Spike's a crazy son of a bitch, and he's a twisted motherfucker, but he'll look out for you and keep everyone in line.” He bent and kissed her. “Reckon I should mark you as mine, then everyone would know to keep their hands to themselves.”

“Not going to happen, big guy.” Emma had no desire to be inked, and there was no way on earth she was going to wear a property patch. “You'll just have to go all caveman on anyone who steps out of line.”

“
Jesus, woman. I'll be beating my chest all fucking night. You're the hottest bitch here.”

“
Such a charmer.” She stood on tiptoe and, pulling on his beard, kissed him. “I'm such a lucky girl.”

“
You know it.” He slapped her ass and led her to the end of the bar and looked around. “I can't see Bonnie, will you be okay?”

“
Yeah. Go get patched in. I'll be here when you get back.”

~ oOo ~

“Hi, sweetie. You must be Emma. Samson told me all about you.” The redhead behind the bar smiled. “Can I get you a drink? I'm Lola, by the way.”

“
Hi, Lola.” Emma smiled. “I don't suppose there's wine. I'd better stay off the hard stuff, it looks like it's going to be a long night.”

“
It sure will.” Lola laughed. “You are gonna have one hung over old man in the morning.”

“
Won’t be the first time.” Emma laughed, then fell serious. “Can I ask you something?”

“
Sure honey. Ask away.”

“
Deke said you'd been...”

“
Raped?”

“
Yeah. You can tell me to butt out. But how did you deal with that?”

“
I'm a hooker, honey. Weren't the first time I'd been roughed up.” She passed Emma a glass of wine. “I heard what happened to you. Not the details, but I put two and two together and saw how Samson was.” She smiled. “Come on, let’s go into the kitchen, it's more private, and there's a lot of out-of-towners in, Samson will lose his shit if anyone gets handsy.”

Emma followed Lola into the kitchen and leaned on the counter. “How do you do it, Lola?”

“Deal with what those shits did to me?” Emma nodded and she continued. “I didn't for a while. But I figured what they did had nothing to do with me. And if I let them get to me, they would have won. I just detached myself, I guess. As a hooker, I'm good at that.” She smiled. “You'll be fine, Emma. Samson is a good guy – one of the best – he'll take care of you.”

“
Yeah, I know. He does take care of me. I guess I'd just rather take care of myself.”

Lola reached out and touched her hand. “What happened to you was awful – really awful – but you don't have to deal with it on your own. Let Samson take care of you. He's in church right now, patching in, because he loves you.” She laughed. “I never thought I'd see the day he'd settle down with one woman.”

“You've known him for a long time?”

“
Yeah, over ten years.” She grinned. “I kinda had a thing for him for a long time.”

“
I think he might have had a thing for you, too.”

“
Oh no, love. I was just another woman to him. I reckon you might be the only one he's ever had a thing for. You're the envy of nearly every woman here.”

A loud cheer interrupted them, and Lola took her arm. “Sounds like the guys are out of church. We'd better get out there.”

~ oOo ~

There were too many people. Emma pressed herself against the wall as Deke was surrounded by his brothers. She couldn't get close to him, and she felt the familiar tightness in her chest. People – strangers – were brushing past her, and she fought the urge to run – not that she could, the crowd was too thick – she couldn't breathe... Needed to get away. She was going to...

“It's okay, little one. I got ya.” Emma sagged as Tiny touched her shoulder. “C'mon, girl. Look at me. You got this. No one's gonna hurt ya.” He turned to Lola. “Get Samson. Now!” Wordlessly, she disappeared into the crowd, and he turned his attention back to Emma. “Look at me, Emma.” She raised her eyes to meet his, and he smiled. “That's it. Good girl. Now breathe… slowly.”