Sammy Keyes and the Wild Things (5 page)

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Authors: Wendelin Van Draanen

BOOK: Sammy Keyes and the Wild Things
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But outside I nodded.

Like a hypnotized idiot, I nodded.

SIX                                                                                                                                                                                             

Robin shooed us outside to set up our tents. I think she wanted to discuss the break-in with Quinn without a gaggle of girls interfering. So Cricket and I picked a spot near a big fire ring on the back side of the Lookout, while Gabby and Bella set up their tent about twenty feet away.

We started by kicking away rocks and big pebbles, then unrolled the tent so the doorway faced the fire ring. After that we popped together sections of lightweight tubes that were connected by a long elastic cord running inside them. Very ingenious. Imagine a little bundle of metal tubes that turns into one long, sort of bendy tube that you then thread through cloth tabs on the top of your flat tent. You do that twice, so you have a big metal
X
lying on top of your tent. At this point it just looks like a mega-mess spread across the dirt, but all you have to do is put the ends of the long, bendy tubes over pegs built into the corners of the tent and voila! The mega-mess magically transforms into your home away from home.

“That's amazing!” I said when it had sprung to life.

“And look,” Cricket said, lifting the whole tent by the tubes. “If you don't like the spot you picked, you can move it anywhere you want.”

I laughed. “Wow.”

She put it back where it had been. “The bad thing is that the wind can upend it, too, so we do have to stake it down.”

So we found some rocks, used them to drive in stakes at the corners, then started moving in. We rolled out our pads, unstuffed our sleeping bags, and unpacked our clothes.

“Ah,” I said, diving onto my “bed.” “This feels so nice!”

“You shouldn't be half in and half out,” Cricket said. “You should always click the dirt off your boots like this, then get inside.” Then she added, “And close the screen. Always close the screen. All the way.”

The way she said it sounded very . . . ominous. So I clicked the dirt off my boots, pulled my feet inside the tent, and said, “Or what?”

“Or flies get in.”

But it wasn't just flies, I could tell.

She saw the way I was looking at her and said, “Or mosquitoes. One little mosquito in the tent can make you itch for a week.”

But it wasn't just mosquitoes, either.

“Look,” she said, because she could see my mind was coming to its own conclusions, “just don't leave the screen open or bugs get in.”

“Bugs like ticks and scorpions?”

“All bugs.” She started scooting out of the tent. “Hey, I'm starved, aren't you?”

I scooted out of the tent behind her and zipped the door closed tight. “Are you kidding? I'm in an eat-a-cow-
now
mood.”

Unfortunately, there were no double cheeseburgers up at the Lookout. And since it was roasting hot out, none of us really wanted to collect wood, start a fire, and
cook
lunch. So Bella, Gabby, Cricket, and I sat on an outcropping of rocks that overlooked the canyon and ate trail mix, beef jerky, and dried bananas.

Now, while we'd been setting up our tents, Quinn's long-haired friend had sort of made the rounds, saying hello to everyone and checking out the views. She seemed nice enough, but she'd put Gabby into a serious frump.

“Why'd he bring her up here?”

“Why not?” Bella asked.

“Because she doesn't care. It's obvious she doesn't care! Is she working right now? Is she doing anything but walking around?”

Bella rolled her eyes. “What do you want her to do? Give her a chance, would you?”

But Gabby didn't want to give her a chance. She wanted her
gone
. So even though we were eating lunch on a big outcropping of rocks with a really spectacular view, none of us were actually
appreciating
the view. Gabby kept glancing over her shoulder at the Lookout, jealousy just radiating off her. Bella and Cricket kept glancing at Gabby,
annoyance
radiating off them. And I was too bugged by the pesky little flies buzzing around my head to pay attention to anything else. You wouldn't believe these flies. They're
weird
. Little and kind of gray, all body and not much wings. And they
buzz
. But what makes them unbearable is that they try to fly into your ears and up your nose. Seriously. They're little buzzy kamikaze flies that dive-bomb your ears and eyes and nose.

And as if I didn't hate them enough already, there I am, in the middle of ripping off a bite of jerky with my teeth, when one of those pesky little flies shoots right up my nose.

“Oh!” I squeal, jumping up and snorting out like crazy.

Everyone looks at me.

“Oh!” I squeal again, dancing around. “There's a fly!” I snort out hard. “Up my nose!”
Snort
. “It's stuck!”
Snort-snort-snort-snort-snort-snort-snort!

“Did you get it?” Cricket asks.

“I don't know!” I stop snorting out and inhale through my nose, and sure enough, there's still a buzzy booger up there. “No!” I squeal, snorting again like crazy.

Cricket stands up and plays fly ejection coach. “Take a deep breath through your mouth, close off your good side, and
blow
.”

So I do that and . . .

I've
still
got a fluttery fly booger.

“Do it again!”

So I do it again and . . .

The fly does not eject.

Then Bella says, “Maybe it's just a phantom fly.”

“A phantom fly? A
phantom
fly? This is no phantom fly!”

“No, no. You
had
a fly, you got
rid
of the fly, but it still
feels
like one's up there.” She shrugs. “You've got a phantom fly.”

“IT'S NOT A PHANTOM FLY!” I shout, and I shout it so loud that “FLY . . . FLY . . . FLY . . .” echoes through the canyon.

Cricket's and Bella's eyebrows go up like, “Wow!” and then Bella stands up and shouts, “HELLO!” into the canyon.

Gabby, though, totally ignores everything that's going on around her and says, “I don't get what's taking them so long. And why won't Quinn let us see the nest? What does he think we are?
Children?

“Will you shut up about Quinn? Can't you see I've got a fly up my nose?” I let out a sinus-shaking, face-quaking
snoooooort
.

“BELLA!” Bella shouts into the canyon, but when the echo dies out, she turns to Gabby and says, “You're acting like an idiot, Gabrielle.”

“Why? Because I want to see a condor?”

“CONDOR!” Bella hollers into the canyon.

“C
ONDOR
. . .
CONDOR
. . .
CONDOR
. . . ,” echoes the canyon as I go,
“Snoooort!”
trying to clear the fly, and Cricket says to Gabby, “No, because you're so hot for Quinn!”

“QUINN!” Bella hollers.

The canyon echoes, “Q
UINN
. . . Q
UINN
. . . Q
UINN
. . .”

“Shut up!” Gabby snaps at Cricket.


You
shut up!” Cricket snaps back.

“Snoooort!”
goes my nose.

“SHUT UP!” Bella hollers into the canyon.

“S
HUT UP
. . . S
HUT UP
. . . S
HUT UP
. . . ,” goes the canyon.

“And quit it, Sammy, would you?” Cricket snaps. “It's just a little
fly
.”

“But it's wedged up there!” I wail. “It's practically in my
sinuses
.”

Gabby turns on me. “Then suck it up and spit it
out
already!”

“Ooooh!” I squeal. “That's gross!”

“GROSS!” Bella hollers.

“G
ROSS
. . . G
ROSS
. . . G
ROSS
. . .”

And I'm sorry, but I just couldn't stand being around
any
of them anymore. I got off the rock and shuffled away as fast as I could, thinking, I don't care if it's a million miles away, I don't care if I have blisters screaming and a fly up my nose, I'm going
home
.

But Cricket catches up to me and says, “Sammy, I'm sorry I yelled at you. Gabby was driving me crazy.” She swings around in front of me. “Is it still buzzing?”

I shake my head. “But it
is
still up there! This is no ‘phantom fly'!”

“I'm really sorry, okay?” She walks with me as I storm along. “I guess you don't like camping after all. I . . . I really thought you would. I always thought you were, you know,
tough
.”

Great. Now I've got screaming blisters, a fly up my nose, and a totally destroyed ego.

I throw her a look that would've singed steel.

“I didn't mean anything
bad
by that. I just—”

“Never
mind
!” I snap. “I just want to be left alone, okay?”

“Sorry,” she says, hurrying off like a dog with its tail between its legs.

“Cricket!” I shout after her, because who wants to be a blistery fly-up-her-nose whiny
meanie
?

She turns around.

I shuffle over to her, saying, “Look. I'm sorry to let you down, but I'm just not used to this. I don't know how it all works. I've got blisters and a fly up my nose, and I feel like a wimp.” I turn to the side, snort again, but nothing comes out.

“Try what Gabby said.”

I pull a face. “That is just too gross!”

She shrugs. “Worse than having a fly up your nose?”

So I let out all my air, then suck up hard, and
fwap,
the fly shoots up, back, and down into my mouth. “Eeew!” I wail, kind of prancing in place. “Eeeew!”

“Spit it out! Spit it out!”

Like I'm gonna swallow it?

So I rasp it forward and hock a big ol' fly loogie onto the ground, which we both immediately squat to look at.

“See!” I shout. “You call that a phantom fly???”

“Nooooo,” she says. “And it's big! It's like the condor of all flies!”

It was actually just a little black wad in a puddle of snot, but the fact that she'd called it the condor of all flies was so nice. And so funny! So before I can remember how mad and miserable I am, I start laughing, which makes Cricket start laughing, too, and pretty soon we're both hysterical.

Finally she brushes away a tear and says, “It will get better, Sammy. I promise.”

I'm still kind of hiccuping with laughter. “Oh, yeah? When? After condor
scorpions
attack?” And I guess I was kinda over the edge, because I thought that was the funniest darn thing I'd ever heard.

Anyway, we wound up going back over to Bella and Gabby, who were now
both
hollering stupid stuff across the canyon.

“Eat!”

“E
AT . . . EAT . . . EAT . . .

“At!”

“A
T . . . AT . . . AT . . .

“Joe's!”

“J
OE'S . . . JOE'S . . . JOE'S . . .

Then Gabby said, “I know, I know, I know! Let's all say our own names at the same time!”

Cricket frowned. “It'll just be noise.”

“So what! Let's try it!”

So on the count of three we all shouted our names at the same time.

Now, going out, it sure sounded like a big wall of noise, but the weird thing is that coming back, it didn't. It sounded like four voices calling four names. You couldn't really
understand
the names, but it was still kind of haunting as they bounced across the canyon.

“Cool,” I whispered.

“Yeah,” Cricket added.

“I know, I know, I know!” Bella said. “Let's say our names in succession.” She pointed around. “I'll go first, then you, then you, then you!”

So we went, “BELLA, GABBY, CRICKET, SAMMY!” but it was too long, and the only thing that echoed was, “S
AMMY . . . AMMY . . . AMMY . . .

“Well, that stank,” Bella said.

Gabby started going, “I know, I know, I know!” but Cricket stopped her. “Shhh!” She turned to me. “Did you hear that?”

I had, but I'd thought it was just a re-echo. You know, an extra-
long
echo.

“That was your name!” Cricket whispered.

Gabby and Bella squinted at her. “What are you
talking
about?”

But then it came again. “S
AMMY . . . AMMY . . .AMMY . . . ?

It was like my name was stuck in the canyon. Only it wasn't my voice. And it wasn't just a call.

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