Same/Difference (The Depth of Emotion #4) (15 page)

She was hiding.

Falcon sank against the bed and held her tighter. He stroked her hair absentmindedly in a comforting way and twisted it so he could lay it over her shoulder. His fingers hit something sticky and he pulled it away. A painful lump formed in his throat when he discovered the area of missing hair.
What the hell had happened to her?

With more questions than answers he slid into his own exhaustion. He moved them both and spooned her in his arms. Fatigue set in, as did his overprotective nature. As his eyelids grew heavy he inhaled the remnants of her perfume and let the fragrance lull him to sleep. Morning would come soon enough, and with it, hopefully answers.

P
aige stiffened in his arms alerting him that she was awake. She had been out for more than twenty-four hours. Other than getting up occasionally to use the bathroom, he stayed beside her the entire time. She slept so soundly that he was beginning to worry and, if she hadn’t begun to stir, he was going to seek medical help.

Even though he slept as well, he had woken up this time before she did. The scene replayed over and over in his mind. He was torn as he let her sleep because he knew the police could only hold Blake so long without formal charges. Once she was awake he had to impress upon her the importance of charging him with her assault. Even if he’d been released Falcon had the connections and technology to find him. His main concern was Paige. If stress were the trigger for her condition, he would have to tread lightly. The last thing he wanted was to catapult her into another episode. He leaned his chin against her head and murmured into her hair.

“Good morning.”

Although he knew she was awake she laid very still. His intuition told him that she was aware her secret had been exposed. Falcon could never be accused of standing on ceremony and he addressed the matter head-on. He tightened his arms around her.

“Tell me what it is. I want to know.”

As quiet as the whisper of a breeze, she began. “You know…I don’t do it all the time.”

As he stroked the delicate line of her jaw, she turned toward him. A storm of emotion brewed behind her eyes.

“I don’t know how to feel now that you’ve seen me. No one, outside of my parents, know. You’re the only one.” Her voice held a tremble and she paused and bit her lip. Uncertainty tightened the corners of her eyes. “I would think you’d want to run away. I would.” She lowered her voice to barely a whisper. “Aren’t you disgusted?”

She said so much with the words she didn’t speak. Her eyes glazed with tears and her body stiffened to prepare for his answer. His heart swelled. She was so beautiful and vulnerable, trusting him with her fractured reality.

. He wanted to answer, but reacted instead. Call it the irrational act of a rational man, but he couldn’t help himself. By admitting the truth, her honesty and confidence weakened him and her transparency made her even more desirable than she already was. Her lashes fluttered and her breath hitched as light filtered through the curtains and the soft rays caught the twinkling of tears in her eyes. His thumb stroked across her cheekbone and a lone tear escaped. It trailed down her face, hypnotizing him as it crept over her cheekbone and moistened her lips. He craved her mouth and pressed his lips to hers, tasting the salt that pooled there. It was the sweetest form of possession and she willingly submitted. He pushed his tongue in, demanding and claiming her compliance. He could have feasted on her willingness, but pulled back to answer her question.

“Disgust? Paige…”

The words caught in his throat and he smiled at her. She shivered as the weightless touch transmitted electricity to her sensitive flesh. He took the back of her hand and kissed it before looking into her eyes.

“Never disgust. I don’t know much about perfection, but I think
you
come pretty damn close to it.”

Her body liquefied in his arms as she waivered. Years and years of carelessly worded injury released. She slowly surrendered to his honesty. The wounds of assassinating verbiage were cleansed as she released her tears.

“Thank you.” She laid her hand on his cheek and caressed his face with a delicate touch. It was such a small act but it annihilated any reservations that he had about wanting her in his life. His lips grazed the hollow of her palm and she kissed him. The sweetness of it washed away his gruff exterior with her trust. He knew it was rare, but it was the balm that could heal her. Even though he didn’t think he deserved her he wanted all of her, and he wanted to give her the love she needed to release her from the remnants of the past.

T
hirty-nine hours. Two thousand three hundred forty minutes. I marked the biggest change in life by the ticking of time.
Two hours at dinner, three hours of dancing, countless minutes of assault, and a lifetime of hiding exposed.

I was about to reveal all when the buzzing from my cell phone interrupted the connection between Falcon and I. Liz’s bright and cheery voice assaulted my ear.

“Paige? Are you okay?”

I hesitated. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you told me to meet you at Il Fornaio and I’ve been waiting here an hour. I think I’ve had about four cups of coffee.”

“What are you talking about?” I was puzzled. “We’re supposed to meet tomorrow.”

“Now, what are you talking about? The night we went out with your beefcake boy, you told me to meet you at Il Fornaio.”

“Right! On Wednesday. Did you get your days mixed up”? Liz could be a little forgetful. In fact, she said her nickname was
Dory
, like the forgetful fish in
Finding Nemo
.

“Right. Wednesday. Today
is
Wednesday.”

I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the display. Right there, in backlit letters was Wednesday and, right there, in my calendar it said I was meeting her for breakfast. I laid my head back on the pillow and put my forearm across my eyes.
I had lost a whole damn day!

Behind me Falcon yawned and cleared his throat.

“Is that Falcon?” She bubbled with a brew of teasing and inquisitiveness. “Did he stay the night?”

I looked over my shoulder. Falcon peered at me through narrow slits. It was so quiet in the room he could hear everything she said without eavesdropping. He seemed amused at my uncomfortable situation and raised his eyebrows as he, too, waited for my response. Neither one of them was going to be satisfied because I decided that, for the time being, the best response was no response.

I looked back at him playfully while I spoke into the phone.

“I don’t think I’m going to make it this morning, babe.” He gave me a stern look and put his arms behind his head. “I’ll meet you later. Sorry about breakfast.” I rolled my eyes to emphasize my agitation.

“Oh, I can’t wait to hear this!”

Elizabeth’s sarcasm gushed through the phone. I hung up to the sound of her laughing and tossed the cell to the bottom of the bed. A low chuckle escaped Falcon and he patted my leg.

“Was that the cellular equivalent of a walk of shame?”

“Sure.” My voice was muffled by the pillow I now had over my head as I hid my face under a light dew of mortification. “I’m so glad you find this amusing.”

“Do you remember anything that happened?” His tone changed from playful to serious.

“Some, but I’m sure I’ll remember more once I have some coffee and the fog lifts from my brain.”

I mentally sorted the night’s images by going through the events. The pleasant ones faded away while the one of Blake coming to my room clarified. I pushed the covers down. The moment I saw the bruises the pain registered. A panic attack hit when I touched the black and blue skin.

“Oh my god! I shouldn’t have gotten so drunk.”

“And I shouldn’t have left you alone.” The remorse in his voice was palpable.

“What are you talking about? It wasn’t your fault. I thought it was you at the door. I didn’t look through the peep hole, even though I know better.”

Rising up on his elbow he pulled the pillow away from my midsection and looked at the bruises himself. Once his eyes raked over me his gaze was harsh.

“Blake spent a night in jail and deserves a lot more. He attacked you. Are you seriously blaming yourself?”

Shit! He spent the night in jail? Falcon arranged that, I was positive. I just hoped everyone at home didn’t know.

“Well, it was my fault,” I countered. “I just opened the door without even asking who it was. That was a very stupid move on my part.”

“Are you kidding me? I’ll agree that you should have looked through the door to see who it was, but Blake’s the one at fault here. He’s obsessed with you!”

“He was drunk.” My eyes dropped and I turned away.

“Jesus, Paige! Are you defending him? Being drunk is not an excuse! Go look at yourself in the mirror. You took a beating from him. There are bruises all over you and a bite mark on your neck.”

As soon as he spoke the words my body reminded me of exactly what Blake did and how he did it. I ached where he hit me, but the fresh memories of how he acted assaulted me even more.

“You can’t let him get away with what he did. You have to press charges.” His voice was commanding, not suggestive.

“He was drunk, Fal. That’s not an excuse it’s a reason. You’re right. He should pay for what he did, but maybe he didn’t mean to do it. Criminal charges could cost him his career. He may be a giant pain in the ass, but I’ve got to, at least, give him the benefit of the doubt. I would hope that he wouldn’t have hurt me if he’d been thinking straight.”

“Do you hear yourself? Why are you defending him? He attacked you!” Falcon tore the sheets off of him and jumped out of bed. The look on his face was one of complete disgust and disbelief. He ran his hands over his face and through his hair.

“I’m not defending him! All I’m saying is that I don’t want to ruin the man’s life.” I spat. “It’s over. Let it go. I’ll probably never see him again once he realizes what he’s done.”

He flattened his knuckles at his temples and paced the floor.

“Paige. Listen to me. If he was drunk and killed someone he would still be responsible for the murder; he’d have to be held accountable. You can’t let him get away with this! That’s just nuts!”

I knew that no matter how I tried to explain it to Falcon he still wouldn’t understand. I’d been through this type of scenario too many times to count when I was a kid. I was the victim and they always got away with it. It was always my word against theirs and this was no different. Even though Falcon came to my rescue, what exactly could he say? What he saw? Blake could say it was consensual and that Falcon walked in at the wrong time. I was a nobody, but Blake…well, he wasn’t. The press would jump on this. They were always looking for a good tabloid story and nothing said
Read Me
more than an agent with a prestigious modeling agency having a Fifty Shades of Grey moment in Sin City. I could just see the headlines in the grocery store! I knew enough that, if I pressed charges against Blake, it would definitely make the gossip papers. And then what? He would tell them I was a freak who tried to get him into bed by playing sex games?
No!
He wouldn’t lose his job, but other people—my friends—would suffer. Some unwarranted guilt by association. Friendships would suffer. Declan would suffer. He and Blake had been friends for years. How could it not be awkward at holidays and cookouts if I did this? I couldn’t be responsible for hurting people just because Blake had been a drunken ass. It was just better for everyone to let him live with the one night he spent in jail. It probably scared the hell out of him. For a man like him, who was used to the best amenities, it would be a warning to leave me alone. Falcon would just have to live with it.

“I won’t do it. I can’t.”

“You’re making a mistake, Paige. He’s a son of a bitch with a misguided sense of entitlement. He thinks he can do whatever he wants and get away with it. And you’re letting him.” Falcon stared disbelieving at me. His fists were tight with anger.

I looked up at him with sad eyes and feeling like someone had sucked way all the oxygen in the room. Although I was afraid of him I wouldn’t give Blake the opportunity to hurt me again. If I ignored this, he’d be afraid that I would tell everyone what he did. I would have the power.