Same Old Truths (32 page)

Kay was hoping Tina was calling to invite her for lunch.
Just a quick sandwich and soda this time.

“Hey, girl. You’re timing is excellent. I’m free for lunch,” Kay said.

Tina ignored Kay’s indirect hint. “I just got a call from a hysterical Sandy,” said a breathless Tina. “She wanted to know how Mariah came to have the lease in her possession. Frankly, I’d like to know myself. I thought you were going to put it in the mail.”

Tina’s angry tone let Kay know something had gone terribly wrong with her good deed.

“I was, Kay said. “But when Dave came to pick up Mariah last night I thought it would be quicker to give it to Mariah to deliver. I didn’t think it would be a problem.”

“Well, from the way Sandy screamed at me, it’s clear there is a problem. She called me a stupid bitch and said I’d ruined her life.”

“Oh, Tina. I am so sorry. I should have checked with you first.”

“Listen. They’re telling me I have an urgent call on the other line,” Tina said. “It’s probably Sandy calling back to cancel the deal. Crap! I just hope she doesn’t complain to my boss. I’ll call you later.”

Kay had expected some repercussion to the tiny part she’d played in the handover of the lease, but not to this degree.

It was just a sealed manila envelope for god sake
.

Then Kay remembered what Tina had said about Sandy’s appearance being more than just a coincidence. Kay had made up the whole thing about “left-over karma” and now was wondering if her silly interpretation might be closer to the truth.

The sound of screeching tires snapped Kay out of her musings. She thought she saw the tail end of the limousine flying past the window. She jumped up to see if she was right but the cloud of dust raised by the speeding vehicle obscured her view.

“Did you hear that?” Ruth said, running into Kay’s office.

“I think it was the limousine.” Kay said. Ruth joined Kay at the window and arrived just in time to see an older model sedan recklessly careen into the parking lot in hot pursuit.

They both started for the door and by the time they got outside they could hear angry shouts coming from behind the garage.

“Get outta that car, Salinger,” said an enraged voice Kay didn’t recognize.

Ruth came to an abrupt halt. She grabbed Kay’s arm. “Oh, no. Owen.”

Ed had also heard the ruckus from the embalming room and came running to catch up with the women.

“What in the hell is going on?” Ed said. “It sounded like a freight train barreling through here.”

As they rounded the corner of the garage, the three gasped in unison to see Tony Burleigh, flushed with rage, beating on the driver’s side window.

“Get out motherfucker. You’re gonna be sorry if I have to pull you out.”

“Knock it off,” Ed shouted, striding up to Tony.

The sight of the tall, authoritative Ed was all it took for Tony to wither back from the car. He stood there breathing hard and pulling up his filthy blue sweat pants which had slipped down below his bloated belly. Ed yanked the limousine door open. “Get out here, now, O. I wanna know what’s going on.”

Something caught Kay’s attention out of the corner of her eye. It was the top of a head and pair of eyes inching up in the back limo door window trying to get a peek.

Tony saw it too and began to wail. “Mother, how could you? How will I ever be able to show my face in public again?”

The head quickly disappeared.

“Just stand there,” Ed ordered Owen. He walked over to the back door and pulled it open. The space appeared empty. “Come out, Mrs. Burleigh. We know you’re in there.”

From the farthest reaches of the back seat, a small voice squeaked out, “I can’t. I’m not decent.”

Tony charged for the door. “You get your clothes on NOW. I’m taking you home.”

Owen stepped in front of Tony to block his path. “Leave her alone, you big waste of space,” Owen yelled.

Tony looked at Owen with a smoldering hatred. “So, Mr. Salinger. What does your wife think about your special limousine service?” he said. “Oh, that’s right. SHE HATES IT. She told me so when she called me this morning.”

In a move that would have impressed any NFL coach, Owen rushed Tony and tackled him to the ground. The women screamed while Ed ran back and forth around the tumbling tangle of arms and legs looking for an in to put a stop to the fight. Soon, Tony was able to roll his substantial heft on top of Owen where he wasted no time landing a few well-aimed punches to the older man’s face.

“Get your fat, lazy ass off of me,” Owen grunted.

“Not until you promise to leave my mother alone,” Tony said

Taking advantage of his parked position, Ed, Kay and Ruth charged Tony, each grabbing something pullable. In his adrenaline infused state, Tony was able to fight them off for several more moments. Eventually they were able to free Owen from his assailant. With Tony on his feet again Ed pushed him up against the front fender of the limousine and held him there with the full weight of his body.

Ruth and Kay helped a humiliated Owen stand up. He shook their arms away and began brushing the dust from his suit. Ed offered Owen his handkerchief to stem the blood streaming from his nose. Owen took it while avoiding Ed’s piercing glare.

“Now, let’s everyone calm down and try to act like civilized human beings.” Ed said. He turned to Tony. “If I let you go, do you promise to control yourself?

Tony, who couldn’t stop crying, simply nodded. Ed released his hold.

“Now, will someone please tell me what’s going on.” Ed said.

Keeping his eyes on his shoes, Owen cleared his throat. “Evelyn is a fine woman. She’s just lonely and needs a little companionship,” he said. He looked up at Tony. “Lord knows YOU never pay attention to her unless you want her to put something in that hole in your face.”

Tony lunged at Otis and they were back on the ground. This time, total chaos was averted by the sound of an approaching police siren. The squad car came to a stop and out jumped Officer Lindy O’Malley. Kay shrunk behind Ruth to avoid being recognized.

Without the slightest hint of a faint, the trained officer adeptly pulled the two men apart and got them to their feet. “Do I need to handcuff you, or can you two be trusted to behave yourselves?

They both muttered, “yes,” and she guided them to neutral corners.

Officer O’Malley walked over to Ed who was gaping in amazement at the petite policewoman.

“We received a call of a 10-16 at Salinger’s Mortuary,” she said. “There were also several reports of two cars speeding and driving recklessly through the middle of town. One of the vehicles was purported to be your limousine.”

“Oh good, the cops are here.” Leo said, running up to the scene. He blushed and tried to hide his delight when he realized Lindy O’Malley was the responding officer. He inched up next to Ed.

“Did you call the cops?” Ed said from the side of his mouth.

Leo nodded and Ed smiled. “Good call,” he said.

“I’ll need to take statements,” Officer O’Malley said to Ed, pulling a small notebook from her back pocket.

“I’m afraid it’s all my fault.”

Everyone turned to see Evelyn Burleigh emerge from the back of the limousine. She was fully dressed, including her signature black hat and sunglasses. In her best Black Dahlia sashay, Evelyn glided over and positioned herself halfway between her son and her lover.

She turned to her son whose tears continued to stream down his face. “Dahling, you musn’t make Mr. Salinger the escaped-goat. I’m the one who pursued his affections.”

“But why, Mother, why?” Tony pleaded. “I thought you and I were happy together, just the two of us.”

Evelyn smiled sympathetically at her distraught son. “Dahling, it isn’t rocket surgery. I’m still a vibrant, full-blooded woman who, every now and then, needs the attentions of a man. It’s important for my self of steam. But that can never take away the special bondage between mother and son.”

If the scene hadn’t been so heart-breaking, Kay would have taken Owen’s place rolling on the ground with laughter. She looked around to see if anyone else was having trouble keeping it together. Ruth and Leo seemed to be oblivious; they were eagerly waiting to provide their personal, official eye-witness account of the incident.

Oh well, their loss.

“Don’t blame your mother, Tony. I was the one being promiscuous.” Owen said.

Evelyn nodded. “And you know how much I love Greek mythology, Son.”

Tony refused to be appeased. “But Mother, he’s married,” Tony whined. “It isn’t like you to deliberately hurt another human being.”

Evelyn cupped Tony’s face in her hand. “Everyone makes mistakes, Dahling. Even me.”

Owen took a tentative step toward the mother and son. “You’re mother is trying to fix her mistake, Tony. That’s why she broke up with me this morning.”

Tony sneered at Owen. “So she fixes it by sleeping with you again? ”

Evelyn looked at Owen with a bittersweet smile. “I had to say thank you…and goodbye.”

“Mother, I want your solemn promise you’re never going to see him again.”

Evelyn turned back to her son. In a dramatic move reminiscent of Scarlett O’Hara, the disgraced woman raised a defiant fist to the heavens and declared, “quote the raisin - nevermore!”

She brought her hand down, covered her face and began to quietly weep. Tony put his arm around her and she buried her face in his shoulder. The two waited for their turn to talk to Officer O’Malley.

When everyone’s play-by-play had been duly recorded, Officer O’Malley addressed Owen. “Mr. Salinger, from all accounts it appears Mr. Burleigh was the aggressor. Do you wish to press charges?”

Head tipped back with blood-soaked handkerchief still pressed up against his nostrils, Owen simply shook his head no.

“Well, based on the frantic calls that came into the station, I’m issuing warnings to both you and Mr. Burleigh for speeding and reckless driving. I can’t ticket you because there was no official police witness.”

She completed the forms, tore them off her ticket pad and handed them to both men. “You two got off easy today. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you endangering the lives of other drivers and pedestrians is serious business. Things could have been much worse than a bloody nose.”

Ruth nudged Kay with her elbow and signaled with her head in Leo’s direction. Leo was beaming at Officer O’Malley. “What’s with him?” Ruth asked quietly.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Kay said with a giggle.

What wasn’t obvious was whether Lindy O’Malley returned Leo’s affections. Her professional demeanor never wavered - even as Leo escorted her back to the squad car with a lovesick-puppy eagerness. He chatted her up, trying to think of things to say which would delay her departure.

Back at the Burleigh car, Tony was gently helping his mother into the passenger seat. The tender sight sent a pang of guilt through Kay for thinking of Tony as a spoiled bully. Clearly, the two of them had one of those mysterious relationships that was difficult for someone on the outside to understand.

Before he closed his mother’s door Kay heard Tony invite her to lunch. “What do you say we go to Carl’s Crab Cove? They’re having a two-for-one special.”

“But, Dahling, you know I can’t stomach the thought of eating crushed Asians.”

“I don’t care. That’s what I want, and that’s where we’re going. You can have the fish,” Tony said before slamming the door.

As they drove away, Kay couldn’t help feeling a little sad. In light of today’s events, it was likely Kay had seen her last Black Dahlia Cavalcade of Comedy show.

Oh well. It was good run.

“Ok, everyone. Back to work,” Ed said. “Leo, let’s finish up in the embalming room. Owen, put the limousine away and then come to my office. And ladies…well, carry on with whatever you were doing.”

“So what do you think is gonna happen to Owen?” Kay asked Ruth as they walked to the back door of the mortuary.

Ruth sighed. “I’m not sure. I couldn’t read Ed’s face. It has to be difficult when something like this involves close relatives. I know he feels an obligation to Owen - you know, being his father’s brother and all. And I’m sure he wants to protect Adelaide…AND the mortuary. No matter which way you look at it, it’s gotta be a bear for Ed.”

“What in the world could Owen have been thinking?” Kay said.

“I don’t know,” Ruth said. “The heart wants what the heart wants and, unfortunately, thinking just doesn’t come into play.”

Kay wanted to disagree. Thinking was the only thing she and Ed seemed to be doing.

“I just feel bad for everyone involved,” Ruth went on. “Love can sometimes be a messy business. But everyone needs it. Even those you least likely expect.”

Ruth’s far-away voice made Kay wonder if she was referring to herself. Then Ruth seemed to snap to and she let out a little chuckle. “Well, I definitely owe Mrs. Dash an apology. Of course she won’t know the full extent of my regret, but I’m definitely going to ask her to forgive my rudeness of the other day.”

“Are you going to talk to Aunt Adelaide?” Kay asked. She held the back door open for Ruth