Salvation (28 page)

Brian grinned at him and said, “If this
was a dream, I’d now gracefully leap to my metal feet and whirl you around the
dance floor. But since it’s not, I kind of need a hand getting back up.” He
picked up his cane, and his brother quickly stepped forward and took one arm,
Hunter the other. Together, they helped him stand.

Brian continued, “I didn’t tell you
because I wanted it to be a surprise. This is what I’ve been doing during all
those extra physical therapy sessions. I still have a long way to go and can’t
quite find my balance yet, but I wanted to be able to dance with you at my
brother’s wedding. So, can I have the next dance? No fancy spins and dips
though, okay?”

“Okay,” Hunter said. “We can save those
for our wedding.” He stretched up and kissed his fiancé, then laughed and said,
“You’re tall. I never knew that.” Brian grinned and took Hunter in his arms.
The DJ put on a sweet, slow ballad, and the newly engaged couple swayed to the
music as the crowd watched.

As soon as the song ended, the entire
Nolan clan descended on the couple, showering them with congratulations and
welcoming Hunter to the family. It was a while before I could squeeze in and
give my friend a hug. I’d never seen anyone look so happy.

Christopher was next up, grabbing Hunter
in a huge embrace as Kieran hugged his brother. Brian said, “I didn’t mean to
steal your thunder. I just wanted to surprise you too, Kier. You stuck by me
all those years, you took care of me and loved me even when I was completely
unlovable. Thank you for helping me get to a place where I could stand on my own
two feet, literally and figuratively.”

*****

Hours later the party started winding
down, the families with young kids leaving first, carrying their sleeping
children. Christopher and Kieran had rented a convertible and were going to
drive to a bed and breakfast, then on to southern California in the morning. As
the remaining partygoers gathered to see them off, Brian said to his brother,
“You never told me why you two decided to honeymoon on Catalina Island.”

“Well,” Kieran said, “we didn’t really
want to travel that far, and when we were talking about destinations, I
mentioned a family vacation to Catalina when I was a little kid. I remember
really liking it, and after we did a little research it seemed like the perfect
choice.”

“Dude, I remember that vacation,” Brian
said. “You ate too much saltwater taffy and puked in the pool. They had to
drain it, and for the whole rest of the week no one could go swimming!
That’s
what you want to relive on your honeymoon?”

Kieran chuckled. “Well, hopefully I’ll
skip the puking part this time. Though I
do
intend to eat a lot of
saltwater taffy.”

Nana pushed through the group of
well-wishers and grabbed first Kieran and then Christopher in a crushing hug.
“I’ll never be able to thank you enough for all you did, Nana,” Christopher
said. “This was absolutely amazing. I felt like I was living in a movie.”

She sighed and said, “I really wanted
everything to be perfect for you. I’m disappointed that it didn’t all work out
like I’d planned.”

“But it
was
perfect, Nana,” he insisted.
“I got to marry the love of my life with all our family and friends here to
support us, in the most beautiful setting imaginable.”

“But, the cake, and the fireworks....”

“Everything doesn’t always have to go
according to plan,” Christopher said. “Sometimes the magic is in life’s
imperfections, in the things that make us laugh and take us by surprise. I
wouldn’t change a single moment of this day.”

She looked a little misty-eyed as she
grabbed him in another hug. “You’re a good boy, Christopher Robin.” When she
released him, she said, “Now go have fun on your honeymoon!”

“Yes ma’am!”

Once the couple took off, the rest of
the guests headed home, too. Skye and Vincent helped River and me, and
eventually the four of us got the kitchen back to its original pristine state.
We’d been prepared to head back to the city, but Gianni insisted we spend the
night since it was really late by then. Vincent and I returned to our guestroom
and Skye and River took a couple of the recently vacated rooms.

I fell onto the bed in my clothes and
said, “We actually pulled it off. What a relief.”

Vincent took my shoes and socks off and
massaged my feet. “The food was wonderful. You both did an outstanding job.”

“Thanks. Too bad about the thing with
the cat, though. I know River feels really guilty about that chain of events.”

“The cupcakes were a good save. And I
actually really liked the all-at-once fireworks show. It was a lot more
exciting that way.” He stopped what he was doing long enough to strip off my
pants and shirt, then returned my feet to his lap and continued the massage.

“You don’t have to do that,” I said.
“You must be tired too.”

“You spent an entire day on your feet in
new shoes, so you probably really need this.”

After a while he asked me to turn over,
then worked his way up my legs before massaging my back and shoulders. “Thank
you,” I murmured, my eyelids heavy. “You’re really good at this.”

When he finally stripped down to just
his briefs and climbed into bed, I wrapped myself around him, fitting perfectly
in his arms. He said softly, “I’m so glad I came back.”

“Me too.”

After another pause, he said, “Part of
the reason I did is because I’m going to be really busy the next couple weeks.
We’ll still have our date tomorrow night, of course. But after that...well, a
few things are happening a lot sooner than I anticipated. That was the upshot
of the meeting I attended Thursday night. So, I may not be around much.”

Something in his tone made me sit up and
look at him. There was enough light filtering through the curtains to see his
face. He was trying so hard to keep his expression neutral, but I’d heard a
tiny trace of fear in his voice. “Vincent, is everything okay?”

“No, not really,” he said.

“But you’re not going to talk about it,
are you?”

“I can’t.”

I brushed his hair back from his face.
“This is so hard for me, caring about you, knowing there’s something
frightening you, and not being able to do anything about it. Not even getting
to know what
it
is.”

“Please bear with me just a little while
longer, okay? The good part about this happening faster than I expected is that
maybe it’ll all be over that much sooner.” A strong emotion flared in his dark
eyes before he pulled up a mask of practiced calm.

“The more I get to know you, the more I
grow to care about you, the harder this becomes, Vincent. I thought I could be
okay with not knowing what you’re involved in, but you’re obviously not okay
with it, either.”

“I’m not,” he whispered. “I’m not okay.
I’m so fucking scared.”

Hearing him admit that tore at my heart.
“Let’s just leave,” I said. “You and me. Let’s get in the car and pick any
direction, and let’s just put San Francisco and whatever’s going on there in
our rearview mirror.”

“I wish I could. God I do. But this
isn’t something I can run from. If I did, a lot of people could get hurt.
There’s no place to run, anyway. I’d be tracked down no matter where we went. I
have to see this through.”

“I hate that you’re bearing this burden
alone, I absolutely hate it. I wish you’d talk to me. I mean, I get why you’re
not, Gianni explained that people in the mafia don’t talk about their business
in order to keep their loved ones safe. But I’d much rather help you through
this than be kept safe,” I said.

“You
are
helping me through this,
Trevor.” He pulled me into his arms and held on to me. “This, right now, is
helping more than you know.”

I forced myself to put aside my
unanswered questions. He was already under so much pressure without me adding
to it by pushing for answers. As I hugged him tightly, I felt him relax. He
fell asleep after a while, and I watched him in the darkness.

This past week had been such a welcome
break from the rest of my life, a vacation from my stresses and worries. But
all that stuff never really went away, and I could only distract myself from it
for so long. Cold, hard reality was always right there waiting for me, ready or
not.

Chapter
Fifteen

“Hey there, Cuz!”

I was so startled to find Melody in our apartment
when I got home from Big Sur the next day that I yelled when I saw her. She’d
pinned back the sheet dividing the space in half, and was lounging on her bed
with a gossip magazine and a bag of chips, perfectly at home, as if she’d never
been gone at all.

“Oh my God, Mel!” I dropped my backpack
and the shopping bags from Nana at the door and rushed over to give her a hug.
Then I held her at arm’s length and said, “How are you? Let me look at you!”

“No, don’t. I’m big as a house! And my
feet are so swollen that I can barely cram ‘em into a pair of flip flops.”

“When did you get back? And how did you
get here?”

“I got back about an hour ago. I had
some money that Slayer had given me, so I used it to buy a bus ticket after we
had yet another fight. I was so damn sick of him going off every night and
leaving me alone! Finally I just had enough of it, so I came home.”

“How’s the baby? Do you feel it moving?”

She pushed her long, sandy blonde hair
out of her face. “Yeah, all the time. I can’t get any rest, it’s always kicking
me.”

I sat down on the edge of her bed. “But
that’s a good thing. It means the baby’s doing okay.”

“I just want it out of me. I hope it
happens soon. Not that, like, I’m looking forward to going through childbirth.
I’ve been having these false contractions. Muriel, this older woman who lived
in the trailer next door to us in Arizona, had some name for them.”

“You must mean Braxton Hicks
contractions.”

“Yeah, that. How do you even know that?”

“I did a lot of reading on pregnancy and
childbirth when you got pregnant.”

“Well anyway, they suck! If the fake
ones are that bad, how the hell am I going to survive the real thing?”

“You will.”

“I really don’t want this, Trevor.”

“I know, but you’ll get through it.
Childbirth must seem really scary, but—”

“Not just childbirth,” she said. “All of
it. I’m not ready to be a parent. I don’t know why I thought I could do this.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’ve decided to give the
baby up for adoption.”

I felt like I’d just been punched in the
gut. “Melody, no! Please don’t. You can do this, I promise. You can learn to be
a mom. I’ll help you every step of the way.”

“You know what, Trevor? You want this
more than I do. From the first moment I told you I was pregnant, you were
actually excited about the baby, instead of being scared for me. I tried to
tell you a million times that I wasn’t ready, and all you kept saying was,
‘It’ll be fine, you can do this, I’ll help you.’ But it’s
not
going to
be fine, Trev. There’s no freaking way on earth I can take care of a kid, so
I’m giving it to someone who can.”

“Please just take some time and think
about this, Mel. What if you change your mind once you give the baby up? It’ll
be too late then, you won’t be able to get him back!”

“I’ve done nothing
but
think about
this Trevor, for eight months!”

“So your mind’s totally made up?”

“I thought you’d be proud of me for
doing the responsible thing,” Melody said, knitting her brows as she crossed
her arms above her baby bump.

A million arguments swirled in my head,
but I realized if I said anything more this was going to turn into a huge
fight. So instead I got up and said, “I have somewhere I need to be. You’re
sticking around, right?”

“Yeah. I’m not going anywhere.”

“That reminds me. Bo Millen is in town
looking for you, and he’s pissed. So maybe don’t go out for a stroll or
anything.”

“Do I and my watermelon feet look like
we’re going for a stroll?”

I sighed at that. A little giftwrapped
box on the windowsill caught my attention and I went and picked it up, then handed
it to her. “Happy eighteenth birthday, by the way. It might have been nice if
you’d called me on my twenty-first. I’m pretty sure you knew when that was,
since your birthday’s the day before.”

“I’ve had a lot on my mind, Trevor.”

I left the apartment without another
word, and when I shut the door behind me I slid down the hallway wall and sat
with my back against it. I was overwhelmed with a huge sense of loss, and at
first I didn’t know why. Melody
was
making a mature decision, she was
giving that child a better chance at life. I knew that.

But still....

I realized I’d gotten attached to that
little person, to the baby I hadn’t even met yet. I’d known all along that Mel
was way too immature to be a parent, and I’d sort of assumed I’d be the one
taking care of that child for her, watching him grow up, nurturing him and
giving him all the love and attention I never had. I felt like Melody was
taking the baby away from me, which was crazy. It really didn’t have anything
to do with me. It was her decision, and I had no right to feel this way.

I got up and left the apartment
building. It was one of those situations where, the more you tried not to think
about something, the more life kept shoving it in your face. It was a sunny
Sunday afternoon and families were out in force, babies and little kids
everywhere I looked. When I passed the thrift shop where I’d spent weeks
picking up baby clothes, I frowned at the big window display of children’s
items.
You’re being so stupid
, I told myself.

Eventually, I got to the bus stop and
decided to head over to Vincent’s apartment, even though that would make me
about three hours early for our date. I just really wanted to talk to him about
this and maybe gain some perspective. I pulled my phone out of my pocket so I
could give him a heads-up that I was coming over, but it was dead. I’d
forgotten to bring the power cord to the beach house and it hadn’t been charged
in days.

*****

The bus stop was a few blocks from
Vincent’s apartment. When I rounded the corner onto his street, I immediately
spotted him out in front of his building. He was arguing with a guy that had a
thick, dark beard and a ratty leather jacket. Vincent had left the beach house
really early this morning, saying there was someplace he needed to be, and I
had gotten a ride back with Skye and River a few hours later. I’d assumed the
lack of details meant the early departure had something to do with his
clandestine business affairs.

Vincent spotted me when I was about half
a block away, and his entire demeanor changed instantly. He relaxed his
defensive posture and held his hands up in a conceding gesture, saying
something to the bearded man in a quiet tone of voice. The bearded guy stared
at him for a moment. As I got a bit closer, I heard the man say, “What the
hell’s going on with you, Dombruso? Your head’s not in the game lately.”

“Whatever. You win, I’ll see you
tonight,” Vincent said hurriedly.

“Why do I feel like you’re suddenly a
little too eager to get rid of me?” The man noticed Vincent glancing at me, and
turned to watch me as I approached. “Who the hell’s this now?” 

“That’s none of your concern,” Vincent
said.

“Everything’s my concern.”

I came to a stop a few feet from them
and said, “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“What’s your name?” The bearded man
demanded, his gaze piercing as he looked me up and down.

Vincent got in the guy’s face and
growled, “It doesn’t matter what his name is. I said I’ll be there tonight, so
we’re done here.” He strode over to me and put a protective arm around my
shoulders, then ushered me into his building. As we were crossing the lobby, I
glanced behind me. The man was still standing outside the glass door, staring
after us.

When we reached the elevator, Vincent
swiped a key card and pushed the button. As we waited I said, “Sorry to drop by
unannounced. I was going to call, but my phone’s dead.”

Vincent gathered me in his arms. “I’m so
glad you’re here.”

“You are? I obviously interrupted
something.”          

“I’m always glad to see you. The fact
that you chased Rooster away is a bonus.”

“Rooster? Seriously?”

“You can’t be a biker unless you have an
awesome nickname,” Vincent said with a little smirk.

When we were inside his apartment with
the door locked behind us, he led me to the couch and dropped onto the leather upholstery,
then pulled me onto his lap. “I missed you,” he said, hugging me to him.

“I missed you too. Which means we’re
both nuts, because it’s been about six hours.”

He kissed me and said, “That’s a long
time to go without touching you.” I swung around so I was straddling his lap
and kissed him again, then wrapped my arms around him and put my head on his
shoulder. Vincent held me tightly as he asked, “Are you okay?”

“What made you ask that?”

“There’s something in the way you’re
holding me. What’s going on?”

“That’s incredibly perceptive.”

“You mean so much to me, Trevor. Of
course I’m going to be attuned to how you’re feeling.”

I kept holding on to him as I told him
the long story of my cousin and the baby, including the part about Bo Millen
and his threats against Melody and me. “I really don’t have a right to feel
disappointed,” I said. “She’s making a wise choice. I just...I already loved
that little baby.”

“So, why don’t you adopt
him?”        

I sat up and looked at Vincent. “Who’d
give custody of a child to a twenty-one-year-old busboy with thirty-four
dollars in the bank?”

“You’re a blood relative though, and
that would actually give you priority in our legal system.”

I thought about that for a while, then
said, “I shouldn’t be selfish. It’s just like Melody said, she wants to give
the child a better life. He should go to a two-parent, financially secure
family....”

“That doesn’t ensure a better life.
Situations change. Couples split up, people lose their jobs, a million things
could happen. There are absolutely no guarantees that whoever adopted the baby
would be able to give them a better life than you would,” Vincent said. “When
it comes right down to it, all kids really need is unconditional love. You’re
the kindest, most loving person I’ve ever met, Trevor, and that child would be
lucky to have you as his parent.”

“That’s the best thing anyone’s ever
said to me.”

“It’s the truth.”

“Melody says I’m always trying to save
everyone. She says it like it’s a bad thing.”

“Why would that be a bad thing?”

“She says I do it instead of dealing
with my own problems.”

Vincent grinned a little. “Our families
always have all sorts of opinions about us. I’ve found it’s best to take what
they have to say with a big grain of salt.”

I put my head back on his shoulder. “Do
you really think I could do this? Do you think I could raise a child without
totally messing him up?”

“Why do you think you’d mess him up?”

“Because I’m so young. Plus, I
practically raised Melody, and look how she turned out.”

Vincent smiled at that. “You can’t be
held responsible for Melody. You’re only three years older than she is.”

“I was kidding. Mostly. And it was mean
of me to say that, she’s not a bad person. She’s just a little self-absorbed,
but what teenager isn’t?”

“I’ll bet you weren’t.” Vincent was
rubbing my back gently as he held me. “I was, though. I was also continually
wasted, from the age of about fifteen to nineteen. I put my family through
hell. That’s why I feel like I owe them so much now.”

I sat up and looked at him. “Whatever
you’re involved in, all that stuff you can’t talk about...are you doing that
for your family, Vincent?”

“Yes, one hundred percent. I’m
especially doing it for my brother Dante. He’ll see that someday. For now
though, he’s just going to keep thinking I’m totally out of control, and
there’s nothing I can do about that.”

I mulled that over as I looked in his
eyes and brushed his dark hair back from his handsome face. He added, “Speaking
of business, the reason I was arguing with that guy was because you and I have
plans tonight, but there’s something he needs me to do. I’ll have to cut our
date short, even though I really don’t want to.”

“So that guy Rooster calls the shots?”
He nodded, and I said, “I see.”

He changed the subject by saying, “Did
you eat lunch today?”

“No, but it’s okay.”

Vincent frowned and said, “I hate that.”

“What?”

“The fact that you’re used to being
hungry. Come on, I’ll fix you something.”

I swung off his lap and he got up and
led the way to the kitchen. There were two partially unpacked canvas shopping
bags on the counter. He asked, “Do you feel like pasta?”