Salem's Sight (20 page)

In a way it felt good that my shrink
would be there for me if things got tough. I just wished Robby felt
the same way. I mean, I know Robby loves his dad, but they haven’t
exactly been close since Mrs. Martin died. From the things Robby
says you’d swear it was all his dad’s fault they're not close, but
some part of me says that it’s at least partly, if not mostly
Robby’s.

That’s how it was with my
mom before the great save. I pushed her away, but that’s so totally
history. We’ve been uber close lately and I know we’ll get through
Christmas. It stinks to have to think of it that way. Get
through
Christmas – like
it was a chore. It should be the best time of the year. And maybe
it would be again … someday. Just not this year.

All these thoughts were racing through
my head as I eased along the road to his office, which also
happened to be next to his house. Normally, I’d let Robby know if I
was seeing his dad and I’d stop by after, but instinctively, I knew
this wouldn’t be a good time. I dropped my bike on the side of the
path and headed for the door.

It opened before I even had a chance
to knock, which completely weirded me out, because that only meant
one thing. He’d been watching for me. He smiled that same
reassuring smile he always did. The one that usually made me feel
better.

It didn’t today.

Then I felt it. The slight shiver. The
hair on my arms lifting straight up. Holy crap, if I needed Grandma
then this really wasn’t going to be good. But there wasn’t a sound
from the other side and it wasn’t like Grandma to be
quiet.

Dr. Martin held the door open and
stepped out of the way for me to enter. He glanced at me quickly,
but didn’t hold my gaze. That was odd. Usually he looked right at
you, deep into your eyes so you wouldn’t hold anything back. He’d
lock on and those eyes would suck the truth out of you. Well, most
of it anyway.

Not today.

In fact, he was looking
everywhere
but
into my eyes, which made me even more uneasy. He seemed
guilty. You know the look. The kind you get when you’re trying to
hide whatever it is that you’ve done that you don’t want your
parents to know about, so you look down a lot, and it’s
that
look that eventually
clues them into your misconduct.

Anyway, that’s when it hit me. Maybe
this wasn’t about me. Maybe there was another reason for him to
call. I looked directly at him, eyes unwavering. Once again he
glanced at me and then his eyes went quickly back down to the
floor.

Oh yeah, major guilt on his part. I
crossed my arms and stood there waiting.

He stepped behind his desk like he was
using it for cover and sat down. “Have a seat, Salem.”

I sat down on the maroon leather chair
that I’d become so used to and remained silent.

“
Um, Salem, you must be
wondering why I asked you here on such short notice, when we
weren’t scheduled for an appointment.”

He snuck a look and I have to admit
the pained expression made me feel pity. I wanted to let him off
the hook. I mean, the guy had helped me out a lot with my dad’s
death, and he was Robby’s father.

“
This visit doesn’t really
have anything to do with me, does it?” I asked. “I mean, I‘m not
here to discuss any of
my
issues, right?”

He laughed lightly and
looked directly at me. “You
are
very perceptive.”

“
So, if it’s not about me,
then I’d have to guess that it has something to do with
Robby.”

“
Right again.”

“
But it doesn’t have to do
with me and Robby. I mean, you’re not upset that he’s dating me too
much or anything like that.” I sat up straight and my voice went up
an octave and ended with a little squeak. Losing Robby was
just
so
what I
didn’t need right now. I knew we were spending a lot of time
together and to be honest I thought my mother would have something
to say soon. My stomach flipped and I prayed for it to be something
else,
anything
else.

It worked. Unfortunately, I learned
the phrase ‘watch what you wish for’.

“
No, of course not. I’m
just worried about Robby.” He folded his hands and went back to
looking at them. “I know I shouldn’t be talking to you about this
but, …” He shook his head. “There’s no one else. I had you come
here so Robby wouldn’t suspect anything.”

Oh great. He wanted me to keep this
from Robby. I couldn’t believe it. Not of him. Outside of my dad,
Dr. Martin had all the qualities a good adult man should have. And
I admired the good doctor. So I was confused by what he was saying,
what he was asking. “Dr. Martin. I don’t want to keep secrets from
Robby.”

“
And I wouldn’t want you
to, but … I need your help. Right now I think you might be the only
person who
can
help Robby. He won’t listen to me at all.” Doctor Martin
leaned back in his chair. It squeaked and tipped back like it was
going to fall over, like the entire balance of his life had tipped
and lost its equilibrium. “He’s going to throw his entire future
away because he’s angry at me.”

I shifted in my chair. Oh
this was
so
not
going to be fun. How do you tell a dad to butt out of his son’s
life? Well, best to spit it out quickly. “I’m sorry, Dr. Martin but
you need to look at a key word you used there.
His
future. Don’t you think he’s
entitled to decide what he wants?” I held my breath hoping I hadn’t
stepped over the line.

“
I’m not trying to dictate
his future. I just don’t want him to give up his dream and waste
his talent because he can’t forgive me.”

I was a little confused but
didn’t have the cojones to ask what needed forgiving. “Becoming an
artist
is
his
dream and he’s very talented.”

“
Is that what you think
this is all about? His wanting to continue to paint?”

“
Isn’t it?” I asked
wondering what part of the conversation I’d missed.

He laughed again only this time it was
full of bitterness. He wiped his hand over his face as if trying to
dust away pain. “I’m not trying to prevent Robby from developing
his artistic talent. But he’s good even without any classes. I do,
however, want him to go to a traditional school, maybe have a
double major. A business degree wouldn’t hurt. A least something
else to fall back on. Not that I don’t think he’s talented
enough.”

“
But he wants to go to
Rhode Island School of Design and RISD is a great art
school.”

Dr. Martin looked at me like he
couldn’t believe I could be that dense. “It’s not about the art. He
only decided to go there to spite me.”

Now it was my turn to stare at him.
How could this man that I looked up to be such a … baby? “Do you
actually hear what you’re saying?”

He slammed his hand down on the desk
and his voice became louder. “Yes and I’m serious. He only wants to
go there so he won’t have to play hockey. So that no one will be
able to change his mind or talk him into going back.”

I couldn’t believe it. Hockey? This
whole conversation was leading up to this? “Oh no. That’s why I’m
here? You want me to talk him into playing hockey again?” I gave
him my best ‘Are you shitting me?’ look. “That was your dream, not
his.”

“
No, Salem. That’s not
true. You haven’t known Robby that long.” I began to baulk but
before I could make more than a sound he held up his hand. “Not
really. You didn’t know him before his mother died.”

I sighed. He had me there. Could Robby
have been that different?

“
You’ve never seen him on
the ice. He was born to it and has a talent very few possess. He
could get a full college scholarship to the University of Vermont.
A scout approached me last year. He couldn’t make an offer yet, but
he made it very clear he intended to this year. To be honest, he
could go pro. He’s
that
good. And he loves …” He must have thought better
of what he was about to say because he changed tense. “He loved
it.”

Dr. Martin put both hands over his
eyes and rested his head in the palms of his hands. I’d never seen
him look so frustrated or so … beaten.

It seemed like he was just making
excuses. Somehow I had to make him see that his dream wasn’t
Robby’s. “I don’t understand. If he loved it that much…”

“
His mother died the night
of the championship game and he blames me for making him
go.”

I blew out a gust of air as if I’d
been punched. Now things were starting to make sense. Although
Robby respected his father, I knew they didn’t get along and it was
hard to understand because Dr. Martin always seemed like such a
nice guy.

“
I think it’ll be easier if
you just tell me the whole thing so that I can
understand.”

He sat back and adjusted in his seat.
It was easy to see he wasn’t going to be able to get comfortable.
“We knew that Lisa, my wife, had only a little time left. It was
getting harder and harder for her to remain focused and
increasingly more difficult for her to talk. Robby’s team had made
it to the championship. There was one last game.” He pulled at the
graying bits at his temples like he was trying to find a way to
reverse the decision.

“
Why would you make him go
when it was that close to the end?”

“
It was her last
request
. She
wanted him to go.” Anguish oozed from him like soap from a
sponge.

I shut my eyes and tried to take it
all in. “You know Robby thinks you want him to play because you
wanted to play and couldn’t.”

A pitiful half-hearted laugh escaped
him. “I was never that big on hockey. I’d hoped he’d be into
baseball, which is the game I really love. But Lisa skated and had
him on the ice as soon as he could walk. Hockey was their thing and
I just sort of got added on. He was a natural from such an early
age… well, it was hard not to get caught up in it.”

Call me slow but it still didn’t make
sense to me. “Why would she send him away if she knew it was close
to the end? Do you think she thought she’d make it through the
game, or do you think she didn’t want him to see her
die?”

Dr. Martin hesitated pondering my
question. “I think she knew she wouldn’t last the night, but she
also knew how important the game was. And she knew there’d be a
scout there. Right to the end, she thought only of his
future.”

I couldn’t imagine my wonderful artist
slapping a puck around a rink, but Dr. Martin was right. There was
a whole world of Robby I hadn’t seen. The pre-death Robby. And for
the first time I wondered what it would have been like if we met a
year ago before both our lives changed forever. But I needed to
focus on the now. “Doesn’t Robby know this?”

“
He won’t talk to me about
it at all. I told him she wanted him to go, but he believes I just
wanted that last night with her to myself.”

I have to admit I was stunned. For a
few minutes we both just sat there. I couldn’t help it. I mean,
what could I do to change any of this? I wasn’t sure what to
say.

Then he continued, “The problem now is
hockey season is coming up and Robby still hasn’t set foot on the
ice. His teammates have practiced and called and he avoids them. He
no longer even associates with boys who were his best buddies. He’s
become a loner. If it wasn’t for meeting you…” Doctor Martin shook
his head again. “Salem, Robby needs more help than you did, but he
refuses to meet with a professional. I thought I’d be able to
handle it, but it doesn’t work because Robby knows my tricks and
I’m a big part of his problem.”

“
How do I come into
this?”

“
Robby is tying his
mother’s death to hockey and as long as he boycotts skating, he in
effect denies Lisa’s death. He needs to get back on to the ice to
heal. Even if he doesn’t go pro, even if he doesn’t play college
hockey, he needs to get back on the ice this year, this season. If
he turns away from it after that, then it’ll be for a different
reason.”

It made sense. I should have known
from the beginning he’d only have Robby’s best interest at heart.
But still, how could I help fix this? “Again, how am I going to get
him to play hockey?”

“
I don’t know,” he answered
honestly. “Do you skate?”

Was he serious? I mean, he didn’t
really think that Robby and I were going to slap around a puck.
“Um, Roller skate. We didn’t even have an ice skating rink near us
in North Carolina. Well, I’m sure there was one somewhere in the
state, but not in my town.”

“
Impossible, this is
impossible.” The defeat in his voice made my heart ache. I had to
find a way to help them both.

“
Wait, maybe… I might have
an idea. My friend Berkley. She’s a figure skater. Maybe if I
enlisted her. She could teach me, and maybe I could get Robby to
take us there or to pick us up. It’d be a start anyway.”