SAHM I am (29 page)

I have a ton of e-mails! And I still have to marinate some chicken for a slow-cooker recipe tomorrow. So if any of you wrote me, I’ll try to answer right away. I just feel like I’m chasing my shadow today! But I did get everything done that I wanted to, which is a good feeling.

Have a good evening.

Dulcie

I’d suggest the pink ones. They’ll match our dresses better. Don’t do multiple colors. Simple is best.

I think Tom felt like he didn’t have any choice. Don’t get upset at him. We’ll manage.

Dulcie

Considering “Ride of the Valkyries” is already an unusual choice for processional music, I’d suggest letting the band play it so it will sound more traditional. You don’t want Shoji upstaging you.
You’re
the bride.

Dulcie

I’d be happy to do a reference for you for the adoption! Just send me the information you have. Good luck on the home-study tomorrow!

Dulcie

I don’t mind you asking at all! My parents have never mentioned how they felt about not being pregnant with me. But I can understand that Darren must be experiencing some very real grief. I wouldn’t think that it will ever stop mattering completely, but I bet the pain won’t be quite as intense once he goes through the adoption. It has a way of healing hearts, from what my parents have said.

Love,

Dulcie

How about some homemade Ozark fudge truffles or something? I think everyone would
really
appreciate that more than the rolling pins or corncob pipes.

Dulcie

Dulcie,

You okay? I didn’t say a word about wedding favors. I wanted to know if you got my voice mail last week.

Tom

Tom,

I didn’t write you about wedding favors! That was your mother. How did you get it? And no, I forgot to check the voice mail. I’m sorry! I’ll do it right now.

Dulcie

You’re
the bride.>

Wow, Tristan is really going to flip when he hears about this! Bad enough, I’m getting married on the sly, but “Ride of the Valkyries”? You gotta be kidding me! Defense mechanisms aside, I didn’t think she’d go through with it!

That’s just plain mean, Dulcie! Are you trying to make fun of us?

Brenna

Have mercy on me and
delete
whatever e-mails I just sent! I beg you. No one got the right reply. I’m very sorry. Didn’t mean to confuse, offend, concern or otherwise disturb your peace. Ignore the whole thing. But give me until tomorrow to sort it out, please. I must really need some sleep…

Dulcie

Ros, I blew it! Ashley had her school awards ceremony on Friday, and I
totally
forgot. She was all worked up about it, and I feel like a complete heel. We have an important ad campaign due next week, and I’ve been frazzled trying to get everything done. Plus, Stanley had a cold, and Carmen was gone all week because of a death in her family. Frank has wedding photos scheduled every weekend from now through July, and Courtney’s piano recital is on Sunday. I feel like all I’ve done this week is run around fussing at everybody like a grumpy possum.

I was excited to get this promotion, but I was more excited about becoming a mama. I love these kids like they were my own, and it makes me just plumb boo-hoo to think how I’ve let them down the past few months. It must be so easy for you—having all that time to devote to them. Playing with them the whole day, no pressures, no hassles. No wonder at all you chose to stay at home. If I had my druthers, I’d do it, too, but it’s hard to imagine giving up my career. I’m good at it. At home, I’m afraid I’d be bored as a dog that can’t dig. I’m not like you—I
need
to accomplish something with my life. There has got to be a way to make this work.

Mama told me this morning that she and Daddy are real proud of what a great mother you are. I only wish they were that impressed with my mothering skills, too, but I don’t think my track record this week has been very admirable. So there ya go. Any suggestions?

Ronnie

Flexible Females,

Have you ever had this experience? Someone asks you “So what do you DO?” What do you say? “I’m a stay-at-home mom.” And they raise their eyebrows and say, “WOW! That’s just wonderful! I could NEVER do that. I’d go crazy. Don’t you get bored? How do you stand being around CHILDREN all day long?” (That last question particularly amuses me when it comes from an elementary school teacher.)

I’ve often thought about taking a poll. How many of you SAHMs are bored at home? What? No hands popping up in the air? You say it’s quite the opposite? You have more to do than would be possible to accomplish in an entire lifetime? Ah, I thought so.

Perhaps, when people ask us the “What do you DO?” question, we should respond with a description of our various jobs, instead of with a job title. We could say, “I work in hospitality, early childhood education, counseling, nursing, nutrition, administration, transportation and food management. What do you DO?”

Ladies, we SAHMs wear numerous hats. If we aren’t careful, they can easily slide right off our heads into a heap on the floor. Let’s discuss ways this week to keep our hats in balance. How do you manage being an educator and chef, housekeeper and counselor? What other hats do you wear?

My own technique for maintaining balance is to keep my POSTURE:

I just know that if you remember to keep your “POSTURE,” all your hats will stay balanced. Comments, anyone?

Lovingly,

Rosalyn Ebberly

SAHM I Am Loop Moderator

Oh, Rosalyn! This has got to be one of your best TOTWs! And it is so vital to learn to balance our “hats.”(What a cute metaphor, Rosalyn. You have such a way with figurative language!) With five children around, plus DH Kurt, my life is too busy to spend time picking up fallen hats. Rosalyn’s POSTURE acronym has helped me
so
much! I think she should write a book about it. She could call it
How to Improve Your POSTURE.
Wouldn’t that be darling?

Well, I must rush. Time to don my “Taxi” hat—James and John have softball practice in a half hour.

Love,

Connie

Connie reminds me of the little yippy dog in the cartoons whose friend is the big bulldog Spike.

This is my friend Spike! (yip, yip) He’s
so
big and strong! (pant, pant) He can beat up anybody! I’m just a little dog, but Spike—he’s my friend! (yip, yip) If anybody tries to mess with me, Spike, here, takes care of them
good!
(pant, pant) Right, Spike? Huh? We’re good pals, me and Spike. (yap, yap)

Dulcie

P.S. The weirdest thing happened today—I was scrubbing some pots, and so I took off my rings and set them on the counter by the sink. When I turned on the garbage disposal, my arm hit a glass and it fell over and knocked my rings into the drain, with the disposal on! One ring is history. My wedding ring has big scratches all over it and is all bent out of shape. I called Tom, and he said to talk to the jeweler. If it can’t be repaired, he’s going to take some time off around his mom’s wedding so we can shop for a new ring. So I’m taking it in today. It just feels a little ominous—damaging your own wedding ring. Do you think it’s symbolic?

Yeah, until the “giant mouse” arrives, and little dog ends up using Spike as a billy club to attack the “giant mouse” and Spike runs off howling and whimpering—then, little dog says, “See, Spike ain’t scared of nobody! I want to be just like my friend Spike. Hey, Spike!…Spike? Where’d you go? Huh, Spike? SPIKE!” But poor, wussy Spike is already three counties over, hiding under some old lady’s front porch. :)

Boy, I think maybe I watch too much TV….

And no, your damaged wedding ring is in no way symbolic. Mine’s had a stone replaced, been resized with each pregnancy, and gotten stuck in an elevator door (long story…). Hope yours can be repaired without buying a new one.

Z