Safeword: Arabesque (Safewords Book 9) (40 page)

Frisco leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, and he picked at the lettering on the beer bottle. “I wasn’t interested in training any of the boys I auditioned because none of them were Cam.”

Cam’s sob filled the room, and he slid from the sofa to the floor and crawled the two yards to Frisco’s feet. Frisco pulled him up on the sofa and wrapped his arms around Cam, saying, “I love you. You’re my boy, and none of them were. I kept thinking I could make myself forget about you, that in another month you’d fade from memory and someone else would appeal to me, but it never happened and I never stopped missing you.”

He looked over Cam’s shoulder to Cassie. “Your email hurt, it was like a knife in my gut and a hot poker through my heart, and I couldn’t handle it.” He shook his head. “I convinced myself the easiest way to make the pain go away was to make you go away.”

Cassie spoke through her tears. “Did it work?”

“Fuck no, it just got worse, but you wouldn’t give me the time of day. I didn’t know how to talk to you, what to say. I managed to sit by you at the fights in Vegas but you treated me as if my skin were poison, all scrunched up in your seat to keep from even brushing against me, and then when you went to the bathroom you sat somewhere else when you came back. You hated me, and I didn’t know what to do. When I said hi or tried to talk, you looked at me as if I were speaking another language, and turned around and walked away.”

“And why did she act this way?” Isaac asked.

“Because I hurt you,” Frisco said to Cassie. “You were defending your heart against me, and I deserved every glare and every rebuff. I’m so sorry. I hurt you both and I’d do anything to go back in time and change things.”

Frisco still embraced Cam, and he lifted the arm nearest Cassie and invited her into their hug. She leaned into him and accepted his warmth, but said, “No. Nothing gets changed.” She looked at Isaac, motioned him closer, and then pulled his arms around the entire group as she told Frisco through her tears, “You pushing me away is what made me go to Isaac. If you hadn’t, it would just be the three of us, and I love Isaac, too.”

She leaned in to kiss Cam’s forehead and said, “I’m crying because I can finally forgive Frisco. I hadn’t realized how pissed off at him I still was for hurting us, and now…with all of that anger gone? It’s such a relief to be rid of it. Can you tell us why you’re crying?”

“I’d had this wall up around my heart,” Cam said through his sobs. “I convinced myself when I superglued it back together in the months after he kicked me out, that the hard shell of the glue would keep me from ever getting hurt again. I was never going to give myself to anyone so completely again.”

Frisco’s arm muscles shifted as he held Cam tighter, and Cassie looked up to see tears in  Frisco’s eyes as well.

Cam took a few minutes to get enough composure to go on, and he finally said, “Hearing him say he couldn’t train them, because they weren’t me — it was like the shell around my heart shattered, and I’m vulnerable again, and I’m scared shitless.”

“You both need to know all the reasons I had for getting you out of my life are gone. My mother knows I’m in a relationship with all of you, she’s knows I’m bisexual, and she has an idea we’re all kinky. I just
knew
I was going to lose her when I came out, but I couldn’t live without the two of you.” 

Cam looked up, his eyes red but his voice strong through his tears. “I didn’t give myself to you fully in the contract. We need to make a couple of changes please, Master.”

Frisco kissed his forehead. “You and I and Isaac will set up a time to sit down and go over it in the next couple of days, then. I love you, and you’re my boy. No one else.”

“Thank you,” Frisco said as he turned towards Cassie. “We needed to have this conversation more than I realized. Thanks for making me talk.”

Isaac chuckled. “Oh, get used to it. We’re all going to insist you talk about your feelings with us. I’m even thinking we write something in Cam’s contract so he can’t get in trouble for insisting you be open with him.”

Cassie looked up to Isaac and smiled, and he leaned down to give her a quick kiss.

“Isaac’s right,” she told Frisco. “With four people in a relationship we’re all going to have to be honest about our feelings — good
and
bad. If we have one person refusing to communicate? A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.”

Chapter Thirty-Four

It wasn’t often Cameron went to someone’s house for four days with nothing but the clothes on his back.

He had no performances or rehearsals this weekend, and was so far ahead with classwork his professors had given the okay to go out of town and miss Thursday and Friday. Frisco, of course, gave him time away from work.

Cam would be in almost constant bondage from Wednesday evening to Sunday evening, and there was no way of knowing how much of the four days he’d spend in the dark.

If the weekend was a success he’d spend the night in Isaac’s bed Sunday night, in the dark, before going to class Monday morning.

Isaac stepped onto the porch as Cam exited his car, and motioned for him to enter via the front door.

He put his arm around Cam’s waist as they walked inside, asking, “You cleaned yourself inside last night?”

Cam nodded, embarrassed, but Isaac asked, “Thoroughly?” 

Cam nodded again as he said, “Yes, Sir.”

“When did you last eat?”

“I had a light breakfast as you instructed, and some miso soup for lunch.”

Isaac pulled him into a hug and then leaned back to establish eye contact. “I’m going to put you through hell, and you’re going to hate me, or at least hate what I’m doing to you,” he caressed Cam’s cheek, “but we both have the same goal, yes?”

“I know, Master. Thank you for spending the time to help me.”

“You’re very welcome. Frisco will be here with you for five or six hours tomorrow while I go into the club. You’ll only be alone with him a few hours before Cassie arrives, though.”

He leaned down to kiss Cam’s forehead. “She’ll be here most of the weekend, to help.”

Cam realized Isaac had never kissed him. I mean, sure, a peck on the lips, but he’d never
kissed
him.

“Are you ever going to kiss me? I mean,
really
kiss me?” Isaac considered the question so long Cam regretted asking. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

The large man silenced him with a touch to his lips. “I hadn’t realized, and I’m sorry. Perhaps this can be one of your rewards, once you can spend the night with me?”

Before Cam could respond, Isaac stepped away and ordered, “Strip and go to the bedroom, boy. You’re smart, you’ll figure out where I want you.”

Isaac had enema equipment set up, with a one-gallon bag hanging high on the bed. Too high.

And there was a double balloon nozzle. Cam hated having the control to evacuate taken from him. He’d never released an enema without permission, but losing the option — having it taken from him should he get desperate — was damned scary.

Clear plastic lined the floor and bed, and rubber wrist and ankle cuffs were on the cart.

Cam buckled the bondage gear onto himself and leaned over the end of the bed to wait.

Isaac arrived within minutes and restrained Cam without speaking, and then quickly lubed him before working the deflated balloon into his ass.

“We’re going to swap things up a little. For this exercise, turning the lights on releases the water and fills you, turning them off stops it. You’ll need to have them off ten minutes straight in order to stop the exercise. So, we’re finished when you can either last ten minutes in the dark, or the entire four quarts is in your gut.”

Cam had managed nearly seven minutes once. Jumping to ten was huge but he didn’t argue. He’d agreed to trust Isaac to get him where they both wanted.

The last of the balloon went in, Isaac pumped the internal one and the external, and Cam gritted his teeth and remained silent.

Frisco had taken Cam’s chastity device off for rehearsal, but had put it back on when he’d arrived at work after practice the night before. Cam wore it now, and wasn’t sure when, or if, he’d get another orgasm. It’d been five days, and he’d been through twice as many teasing sessions.

Isaac had a key, as well as Frisco. However, Isaac probably wouldn’t give him any orgasms until Cam managed to survive the dark.

When Isaac opened the valve, Cam was expecting the pressure from a bag six feet above him, but it flowed in gently.

“Did I mention?” asked Isaac. “The regulator is keeping the pressure low for now. Every twenty minutes it’ll increase by twenty percent.” Isaac caressed his hip. “When you want the water to stop, turn the lights off.”

“Lights OFF,” Cam said.

Darkness encapsulated him, the water stopped, and Cam counted in his head to regulate his breathing. Isaac massaged his back, but didn’t talk.

Cam reminded himself Isaac was right here, touching him. Nothing was in the room that hadn’t been here in the light. His heart sped until it sounded like a herd of wildebeests crossing the savannah, but he modulated his breathing and ignored his racing heart — and the shot of adrenaline it produced.

Just before his body went into total panic he said, “Lights ON.”

The room came back into view and he immediately felt silly for needing the light. Everything was exactly as it had been before, he just hadn’t been able to see it.

The water started again, filling him, and he gasped and squirmed as his bowels protested.

He breathed through the discomfort until he thought he could handle the dark again, and finally said, “Lights off.”

“Such a good boy,” Isaac said as his hands massaged Cam’s shoulders and kneaded his back. Long strokes from shoulders to ass, along either side of his spine, and then magical fingers worked the top of his ass muscles and the area around his sacrum. However, despite the relaxing touch, Cam’s heart sped again as he freaked about the damned dark.

Cam closed his eyes and tried to convince his brain it was light, and if he only opened his eyes he’d see everything.

His body didn’t buy it, and his heart raced until he thought he might pass out. “Lights ON!”

His adrenals took longer to recover this time, and he screamed, moaned, and grunted as the water flooded his insides.

He shouted for the lights to turn off in order to stop the water and cramps this time, and not because he was ready for the dark, so he panicked the instant the world ceased to exist around him.

“Breathe through it, boy.” The voice helped ground him, and Isaac’s hands held him and calmed him.

“I’m here,” Isaac told him. “You’re safe.”

Cam’s bowels were full already, but no more water came in while the lights were off, and he obeyed the order and
breathed
.

This time, he closed his eyes and didn’t try to trick his body, but it calmed down, anyway. Soothing hands rubbed his back, his ass, his shoulders. “You’re safe,” Isaac repeated. “I’m right here and you’re doing great.”

“God, I’m on my way to falling in love with you, Master Isaac.” His voice sounded desperate, but he meant every word.

“The feeling is mutual, Cameron, and I’m so proud of you. Feel the nourishing air coming into your lungs, and the spent fuel going out. Oxygen in, carbon dioxide out. Use your nose to bring it in, and your mouth to push it out.”

Isaac kept talking to him, touching him, and Cam’s heartbeat slowed, his adrenaline levels evened out, and he said, “It’s working, Master. Fuck me, but it’s working. Please keep touching me?”

“Of course, beautiful boy. I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

He was still okay as the lights gradually came on, and Cam sighed with relief as his eyes focused on the oh-so-slight difference between the bed column and wall behind it, and the support beams gradually came into focus.

“Does this mean I made it ten minutes, Master?”

“It does. It also means you get a vibrating butt plug in a little while, and permission to jack yourself off to a sanctioned orgasm. Hold tight a few seconds as I get you unhooked, and I’ll walk you to the bathroom.”

The rest of the day was a blur. He was allowed his reward orgasm, was given a glass of chocolate milk he was later told was a protein shake, was allowed fifteen relaxing minutes in the hot tub, and then spent thirty minutes in the original light/dark electrical protocol.

As always, he was exhausted and useless afterwards, and this session was ten minutes longer than he was used to.

“You made it to nearly nine minutes once, better than your time prior to today, but not as good as your time during the enema.” Isaac kissed his forehead. “You were a minute and seven seconds short of your longest to date, and you’re going to hurt for twice as long, my beautiful boy.”

The lights went even brighter as Isaac settled a tablet before him with a timer set at two minutes and fourteen seconds, and said, “Begin.”

An excruciating shock blasted into his ass, balls, and cock at the same time, and Cam’s scream was so sharp it felt as if a knife sliced the inside of his throat.