Safety Net (45 page)

Jackson thrust into him and Lowell
pressed back, rolling his hips. “See? Now that’s what I’m talking about. You
don’t gotta say a word and I know how much you’re loving this, yeah? I told
Troy, I told him, you just don’t know, honey. You don’t know my pretty white
boy, how sweet he is.”

After a good, long, hard fuck,
Lowell was stretched out on his back and Jackson propped up on his elbow beside
him. He touched Lowell’s hair and lips and nose. “I’m liking this. A lot,” Jackson
said quietly.

Lowell rubbed his nose against
Jackson’s fingertips. “So am I. It’s, uh, been a while.”

Jackson ran one fingertip along
Lowell’s cheek. “Don’t tell me someone broke your heart. I might have to go
kick his balls in if that’s the case. Pretty boy like you? That’d be a tragedy.”

Lowell smiled softly, amused. He
said, “No, nothing like that. It’s...complicated.”

Jackson’s fingertips skated across
Lowell’s chest. Lowell asked, “Do you have a boyfriend back home?”

Jackson watched his fingers gliding
over Lowell’s skin. “No. Me and Troy, well, we’ve known each other forever. We
hook up sometimes, he’s like my steady. But I’ve got what they call ‘commitment
issues’. Can’t help it.” He gazed at Lowell and murmured, “I can’t resist a
pretty face and a great ass.”

Lowell had a feeling that for Troy
there was more between them than just hooking up, but it was none of his
business. He felt distantly sorry for Troy.

“I have a boyfriend,” he said. “But
it’s hard for us to be together. Because of our jobs. And he lives in a
different city.”

Jackson circled his fingertips
around Lowell’s right nipple. “That sucks,” he sighed. He raised an eyebrow and
said, “He’s not gonna come kick my balls in, is he? If he finds out you’ve been
getting a little something on the side?”

Lowell tried to envision Erick
beating Jackson up but his imagination couldn’t stretch that far. “No. He told
me he didn’t want me to be lonely, that I should be with whoever I needed to be
with.”

Jackson was silent for a moment. “Sounds
like a special guy.”

“He is.” Lowell sighed and looked
at Jackson. “Sorry to lay this on you. I didn’t mean for it to get heavy. I’m
having fun.”

Jackson smiled slowly. “Me too.” He
kissed Lowell gently. “So sweet,” he murmured. “So, so sweet.”

Lowell chuckled. “If you knew what
I could bench-press, you might not say that.”

Jackson raised his eyebrows. “Oh,
hey, I didn’t mean anything by it. I didn’t mean it like--”

“No, it’s okay,” said Lowell. “It’s
funny, that’s all. I never thought of myself as sweet.”

“Or pretty?” Jackson asked,
touching Lowell’s cheek with his fingertips.

“Not so much. Though someone called
me beautiful once, which is even funnier.”

Jackson caressed one fingertip
along Lowell’s jaw. “Your boyfriend?”

“No, actually, it wasn’t him.”

“Well, whoever it was wasn’t lying.”

On Saturday they woke up, took Bean
out for a walk, came back to the apartment and fucked, and spent the rest of
the morning in bed watching football on TV. The New Haven Hawks were playing
New York in the divisionals.

“Erick West went to Crocker, didn’t
he?” Jackson asked. They’d picked up doughnuts on the walk and he munched on an
old-fashioned.

“Yeah. He was my quarterback,” Lowell
said, watching for Erick on screen.

“Really? Aw, man, must’ve been
awesome to play with him.”

Lowell thought of all the ways he’d
played with Erick and smiled. “Yeah, it was.”

Jackson shook his head a little. “The
Hawks went ten-and-six this season. Can you imagine? I couldn’t. I’d heard West
was good but I didn’t think anyone could turn that team around.”

Lowell filled with pride and love. “That’s
Erick,” he said. “If anyone could do it, it’s him.”

Jackson brushed a lock of Lowell’s
hair back from his forehead and said, “Now I wish I’d watched Crocker games
back in the day. I could’ve been watching Erick West do his thing. And if I’d
known they had such a pretty tight end...”

Lowell said crisply, “Everyone
should’ve been watching Crocker. We were fucking awesome. You snooze, you lose.”

Jackson waved a chocolate-covered
doughnut in front of him. “Ooo, I hit a sore spot.” Lowell took the doughnut
and bit into it, and Jackson murmured, “That’s the last time I’ll do that, I
promise.”

Bean was getting restless, so they
finished the game -- New York won by three but Erick had performed well,
impressing the commentators -- and took Bean out again. Jackson had to go back
to his hotel and get ready for his meeting with the client, so Lowell went to
the dog park alone.

When he got back, he called Dale.

“Oh my God. It lives,” Dale said. “How
the hell are you, Menacker?”

“Fuck you, Lennart,” Lowell said
good-naturedly. “You lie your ass off, telling me you’re gonna call and you
never do. Did you watch the game?”

“Yeah,” Dale sighed. “I wish they’d
won. That would’ve been fucking amazing. But Erick was on fire. We were his
teammates and I still don’t know how he does it. Your team didn’t do so bad
this year, either. Nine-and-seven.”

“Last year we were eight-and-eight.
Small strides, I guess. You heard from Andy lately?”

There was a silence before Dale
answered. “Yeah. He’s coming back in July. He got into grad school. Princeton.
He’ll be starting there in the fall.”

Lowell was sitting on the floor,
playing old-sock tug-of-war with Bean. He said, “That’s cool. I guess that
means you’re staying out there, huh?”

“Homie. I have a job out here.”

“I thought you didn’t like your job.”

“I don’t, but that’s not the point.
And before you think you know my life better than I do, the answer is no, I don’t
know if Andy and I will get back together. I’m not thinking that far ahead,
just taking things as they come. So yeah, theoretically I could quit the job I
hate and move out to Portland and keep you company and make your life all
better. That’s what you wanna hear?”

“I was just asking,” Lowell
muttered.

Dale sighed heavily. “It’s been a
rough week. I’m in a mood.”

Lowell sighed, too, letting Bean
win the tug-of-war. Bean took the sock away to enjoy his spoils. Lowell pushed
his hair back and said, “I’m not trying to talk you into moving out here for
me. I know that’s selfish. I just thought, if you weren’t happy, if there was
nothing keeping you out there, you could try Portland. It’s cool here. I think
you’d like it. But if Andy’s gonna be out there, then, okay. I get it.”

“I miss you, too, homeboy,” said
Dale. “Crazy kid. How’s your dog?”

Lowell looked across the room at
Bean, who was gnawing on a chew toy. “He’s great. I’ll send more pictures.”

“Things okay with the ex? No drama
there?”

“No drama. I haven’t seen her since
the divorce was finalized, but she works with some of the team wives and I hear
stuff.” Lowell grinned. “Apparently I was difficult to live with.”

Dale laughed. “Did she say why?”

“Dude, I don’t even wanna know.
That chapter is closed. So, uh. I met a guy.”

After a long moment, Dale said, “Oh?”

“Yeah. He’s from Houston. I met him
when I was on the road. He’s a nice guy.” Lowell dug his fingers into the beige
carpet, not sure what else to say.

“Okay,” Dale said neutrally.

“And he’s, um, hot.”

“Oh. Ah.”

Lowell frowned. “What does ‘oh, ah’
mean?”

“You met a fuck buddy, am I right?”

Lowell drew his legs up and rested
his fist on his knee. “Yeah. Oh God, Dale. What the hell is
wrong
with
me?”

“You’re a healthy young man on his
own?” Dale said. “If you called me wanting a spanking, you’re talking to the
wrong guy. Besides, didn’t Erick tell you he wanted you to see other people?”

“Yeah, something like that. He told
you about that?”

“Yes.” Dale made an exasperated
growl. “There is apparently no topic too inappropriate or too intimate to share
with me. But the point is, aren’t you doing exactly what Erick told you to do?
Not that I don’t think he’s crazy, but we already knew that.”

“Yeah, but...” Lowell hit his
forehead against his fist a few times. “When he told me that, I thought, yeah,
okay, I could screw around a little but it would only be to take the edge off.
But it’s not like that. This guy I met. It’s been fun.”

“So you’re not beating yourself up
because you’re having sex but because you’re enjoying it. Do you even know how
fucked up that sounds?” Dale said. “All I can say is, when Erick called me
after you and the ex visited him, he was miserable. Not because you were with
someone else, but because you were unhappy with her. Honestly? I think the
thing that would gut Erick the most is you being alone and unhappy.”

“I guess you’re right,” Lowell
mumbled.

“If Erick called you right this
minute and asked you to drop everything and fly out and stay with him, what
would you do?”

“I’d be on the next plane out,” Lowell
said.

“Well, then. There’s your answer.”

Lowell chewed on his lip. “Yeah.
Thanks, Dale. So...you don’t think I’m a skank?”

“Hmm, well, I never did let go of
my suspicions that you exude a sexual aura that entraps susceptible men,” said
Dale, sounding amused, “but no, I don’t think you’re a skank.” He hesitated. “Just...
I hope you’re being careful. I don’t mean just the sex, but you know. Being
discreet.”

Bean had come over and lay down
next to Lowell’s feet. Lowell rubbed Bean’s stomach, imagining his career
coming to a screeching halt because he was found out. “As careful as I can be.
I promise.”

“This is what you get for TMI-ing
me all the time: I worry.”

Lowell smiled. “I know. Thanks.”

When Jackson came by that evening,
Lowell made dinner. He was getting good at steaks and veggies. After taking
Bean out for a walk, they came back to the apartment and Jackson stayed the
night. Early in the morning, after breakfast, Jackson lingered by Lowell’s door
and kissed him and said, “I’m gonna miss my pretty white boy.”

“Yeah. It’s been fun.” Lowell toyed
with Jackson’s jacket. “Y’know, when the season starts, we’ll play Houston
again.”

“Yeah, well. You got my number. You
can call me whenever.”

“Okay.”

After Jackson left, Lowell called his
mom. He hadn’t intended to sound mopey, but he must have because by the end of
the call, she’d arranged to come out and visit at the end of the month. A heavy
relief settled over Lowell: he had something to look forward to, and his mom
would keep him grounded.

LOWELL MENACKER!

lol now what

What r u doing?

rite now at dog park. pls no sexting

LOL! :) Noooo. I have an idea.

good idea or bad idea

Harsh, bro.

what idea

Let’s go to Hawaii. It’s offseason! I want to see u.

surfing!

LOL okay.

one of ur good ideas

I thought so. I’m looking at places to stay. Sending links
now. Which island?

last time i went to maui

In HS I went to Oahu w/family. Maui again? Big Island?
Kauai?

kauai looks awesome. second link

I like that one too. Kauai!

lol honeymoon suite?

It looked nice! Sending dates.

first set. want to see u soon

Me too! Oh- honeymoon suite is booked those dates. :(

lol srsly book 2 rooms. we gotta be sneaky

Okay.

n if one bed is better than the other we have choices

Ha ha. Okay I got 2 rooms adjoining. Let me know when u book
flights. Excited!

me too. erick i love u

Love u too. U sure no sexting? :)

at dog park. in public. n we r bad at it

LOL Lowell. See u soon!

-----

Lowell woke up to the sound of
waves. Erick had opened the door to the patio and outside, dawn reached through
puffy storm clouds and over the endless, restless ocean beyond the beach and
palm trees and early morning joggers. Erick wrapped close behind him. Lowell
smiled, thoroughly relaxed, and closed his eyes, listening to the waves.

They had arrived on Kauai the day
before, rented a car, and driven around for a bit before checking into the
hotel. They had two ground floor suites that opened out onto the beach, but
they had only stayed in one. After being apart for so long -- and the last time
they’d seen each other, Lowell had been married -- Lowell had thought things
might be frantic and intense when they were alone. Instead, it had been as if
they were never separated. All of Lowell’s worries had melted away as soon as he
saw Erick, standing in the airport in his baggy shorts and an old Crocker tee
shirt.

At the hotel, after dinner and a
long walk outside to see the beach and surrounding area, they’d gone back to
the room. Gotten into bed, touching and kissing, slowly savoring each other. Then
they’d stayed up late talking, catching up on league gossip and where their
Crocker teammates were now, until falling asleep curled up together.

Erick kissed Lowell’s shoulder.
Lowell stretched and smiled at him. “Surfing lessons today.”

Erick pouted. “We’re not gonna stay
in bed all day?”

Lowell grinned. “We can do that,
too. We’ll take a surfing break.”

“Good plan.” Erick kissed him. “Do
you wanna eat now?”

Lowell gazed into his eyes, saw the
same hunger he felt. He turned and pressed Erick back against the bed, running
his hands down Erick’s sides, over his hips and thighs. “Let’s work up an
appetite.”

He wanted to take his time, make
love to Erick slowly, but Erick wanted him so much, was eager and demanding.
Always moving, wanting more. Afterwards Lowell, spent and exhausted, took a nap
while Erick went exploring and brought back a plate of muffins and fresh fruit
from the breakfast bar. They sat on the patio and ate and watched the waves and
Lowell never wanted this feeling of contentment to end.

They completed a five-day course of
surfing lessons and on the fifth day the instructor encouraged them to sign up
for the intermediate course. Lowell liked this idea a lot; they had another ten
days on Kauai. Erick agreed, giving Lowell a fond, affectionate smile.

It was perfect: he and Erick alone,
and if anyone recognized them, they kept their distance. Lowell never felt
anyone’s eyes on them, never caught anyone giving Erick a double take. They had
lazy days where they stayed in bed until they got hungry or it was time for a
surfing lesson. They had active days where they worked out at the hotel gym or
went hiking or running. They saw the gorgeous waterfalls, and Erick surprised
Lowell one day with a helicopter tour around the island.

It was dark by the time they got
back from the helicopter tour. It started to rain while they had dinner at a
restaurant near the hotel. In the rain, they walked along the beach to their
room.

Lowell was drying off from the rain
when Erick came up behind him and pressed close and kissed the back of his neck
and shoulders. The rush of desire made Lowell lightheaded as he pressed back.
They were standing by the sink outside the bathroom, in front of the
full-length mirror. Lowell’s gaze met Erick’s in the mirror. Erick slid his
hands down Lowell’s chest and stomach and into his shorts. Lowell unbuttoned
his shorts to fall from his hips, pushed his underwear off and watched Erick
stroking his cock to hardness.

“Ohh,” Lowell moaned, reaching back
to hold Erick against him. “You want to do this in front of a mirror?”

Erick’s mirrored smile broadcast
burning lust. “I want to do
you
in front of a mirror,” he corrected, and
Lowell’s breath caught.

“Is it too weird?” Erick asked,
running his hands over Lowell’s ass.

Lowell pressed back to rub against
Erick’s hard-on and murmured, “No. Now, Erick. Now.”

It was amazing. The most amazing
fuck ever. Erick started fast, hard, but slowed as he watched Lowell in the
mirror. He kept to a strong steady rhythm that felt so good, was so incredible.
Lowell writhed as he rocked his hips, trying to watch as much of Erick as
possible, groaning as Erick’s hands smoothed over his skin greedily.

Erick’s left hand headed for Lowell’s
dick, and Lowell said shakily, “Oh, no. I’ll pop if you touch me. Not yet,” and
Erick made a throaty grunt and diverted his hands to Lowell’s thighs, rubbing
and holding them while he kept thrusting steadily. At last he settled for
caressing Lowell’s hips and ass, which made Lowell buck harder, flooding with
fire.

Erick’s rhythm got faster and he
panted, “Now?”

“Okay, yeah.” Lowell’s breath
caught in gasps.

Erick touched his dick carefully,
just fingertips at first, sending shudders through Lowell’s body before Erick
slowly folded his palm around Lowell’s shaft. Lowell rammed back, arching, and
came, his whole body falling, dizzy. Erick pumped inside him, coming, moaning
harshly, watching Lowell.

Lowell was so giddy and high
afterwards he practically crawled to the bed and fell into it heavily, landing
on his back. Erick dropped next to him and exhaled a deep breath.

“Damn,” Erick said softly after a
minute.

Lowell giggled. “I think we’re
getting good at this.”

They dozed for a while and when
Lowell woke, Erick was sitting up, propped on a pillow, reading his phone.
Without looking up he kissed the top of Lowell’s head and wrapped one arm
around Lowell’s shoulders, pulling him close. Lowell settled comfortably and
peered curiously at his phone.

“Trouble? News?”

“Message from Daddy,” Erick said. “Some
business stuff. And he wants me to buy something nice for Mama. It’s gonna be
their thirtieth anniversary a couple of days after I get back.”

Lowell ran a hand through his hair.
“Oh, yeah, I should buy some souvenirs for my mom and Kaylee.”

Erick set his phone aside. “How’s
Kaylee these days?”

Lowell made a face. “Working at a
coffee shop. For real. She’s applied for every graphic design position in the
New York area and there’s like a hundred applicants for every job. It totally
sucks. And that stupid school she went to? For what the tuition cost, they
should’ve fucking found her a job instead of throwing her out into the cold
like that.”

Erick was silent and Lowell
grumbled, “She’s still living with that loser boyfriend of hers. But at least
he has a job,” he added grudgingly. He’d only met the guy twice, and the
immediate dislike was mutual.

Erick caressed Lowell’s arm. “You
ever think about what you would’ve done if you didn’t get into the NFL?”

“Yeah. Grim, dude. Grim. But I
would’ve stayed with football, one way or another. Maybe end up on an indoor
arena team like Babcock, I don’t know. Coaching. Something. What about you?” Lowell
couldn’t imagine Erick not playing football.

Erick said, “First, I’d go to grad
school. Get an MBA. Then I’d get into the corporate world. I figure I could
leverage my college career to get into sports, maybe equipment or sportswear,
something closer to the players ‘cause that would be more interesting. Then
eventually, y’know, start my own company.”

Lowell blinked at him. “For real? You
actually had a contingency plan?”

“Yeah, I did. Anything can happen.
One wrong hit.”

Lowell shivered and wrapped closer,
holding Erick tightly. “Don’t say stuff like that. I know it’s true, but. I
guess I’m superstitious.”

Erick squeezed him briefly and
said, “Anson Dempsey didn’t finish his senior season. He took another year to
finish his bachelor’s and get into pre-med. He told me he wants to go into
sports medicine.”

Lowell brooded for a while as if he
could mentally ward Erick from all potential future bad hits. 

Out of the blue, Erick said, “I
slept with another guy. Oh, two actually. If you count Dale.”

Too shocked to parse all of this at
once, Lowell sat up and looked at him. “Dale? You slept with Dale?”

Erick’s grin was slightly lopsided.
“We shared a bed. When I visited him last year, he crashed in my hotel room a
couple of times.” The way he said it suggested there was more to the story, but
Lowell was well aware that Dale wasn’t attracted to Erick so there couldn’t be
much more.

Lowell gazed at him and Erick
glanced away before meeting his eyes. “When we were on the road this season,
playing Washington. I met a guy, someone Dale knew. Um. We hooked up.”

“Did you fuck?” The words were out
of Lowell’s mouth before he could stop them, pushed forward by the memories of
Jackson. “Wait, no, you don’t have to answer that. Why’d I even ask that? Shit.”
He combed his fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his forehead.

Erick watched his hand glide over
Lowell’s arm and said, “Yeah, I fucked him. I saw him again when we played
Philadelphia a few weeks later. He wanted to come up to New Haven and visit,
but I said no. It wasn’t... He was an okay guy. I liked him.” He looked into
Lowell’s eyes. “But he wasn’t you,” he said simply. “I thought maybe if I had
sex with a guy I wouldn’t be thinking about you so much, wanting to be with you
every minute of every day, but it didn’t work that way. It was sex, it was fun,
then all I could think was, ‘I wish Lowell was here.’"

Lowell hugged him tightly. Erick closed
his arms around him, and Lowell said, “Oh, shit, Erick. Me too. I met a guy,
too. I met him in Cleveland, then he came to Portland for a few days. And I let
him fuck me. Like, a lot. And it felt good and stuff, but it wasn’t you. And he
was a nice guy, a funny guy, but I felt like a skanky ho for wanting sex so
much and I didn’t know how to tell you.”

He drew back and Erick stroked his
hair and cheek, smiling softly. “You’re not a skanky ho. I’m the sex fiend,
remember?”

Lowell mustered a smile. “Yeah. I
know.”

Erick combed his fingers through
Lowell’s hair and said seriously, “I meant what I said before. I want you to be
with who you need to be with. I don’t want you to be lonely.”

Lowell caught Erick’s hand and
kissed his palm. “Same here. I don’t want you to be lonely, either. Thing is, I’m
not sure if hooking up with random guys is working for us.”

“Yeah,” Erick sighed. He rubbed
Lowell’s lips with his thumb. “But I don’t know what the alternative is. Even
if we can figure out a way to see each other more during the season, fact is,
if I’m apart from you for a day, I’m going to miss you.”

Lowell kissed him, slow and deep,
with all of his love, and Erick returned the kiss, just as slow, and they made
out for a long time before falling asleep.

When Lowell woke up in the bright
morning, he kissed Erick awake, got him horny, and pulled him over his hips. He
rubbed Erick’s ass as Erick straddled him, and worked Erick slowly, watching
him, until Erick leaned forward, kissed him, and growled, “Stop teasing already.”
Lowell grinned and lightly slapped his ass before thrusting in and filling him.
Erick rocked back and rode him steadily, got a good long fuck.

Later, when they were sprawled in
bed, resting, Lowell massaged Erick’s back and kissed across his shoulders. “Anything
we do is good,” he said, kissing Erick’s jaw, “but you know why I love when we
fuck?”

Erick glanced back at him with a
leering smile. Lowell kissed his smile and said, “’Cause then there’s no part
of me that isn’t part of you.”

Erick released a breath, saying, “Lowell...”
and grabbed him and brought him into a deep kiss.

Eventually, hours later, they went
out to grab lunch and look for souvenirs. There was a high-end shop of locally
made Hawaiian gifts in one of the other hotels, and there Erick found some nice
things for his mother and Candace. He had them wrapped up and shipped to the
mainland.

Lowell decided Kaylee would be
happy with pukka shell earrings -- which were not exactly cheap -- and thought
he’d found an awesome silver bracelet for his mom before the sales assistant
gently informed him he was looking at the men’s jewelry. Erick grinned and
ribbed him about it as Lowell moved to the next case, where the choices were
overwhelming.