Safe Harbor (The Lake Trilogy, Book 3) (15 page)

“I told them I was coming to get you,” he says directly.

“What? Wes!” I whine in protest.

“
Don’t worry. I said you got a flat tire. Will offered to come but I told him he needed to stay with Eliana.”

“Thanks, Wes. I’d be lost without you
.” I lean across the console of Wes’ jeep and give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “I might make a stop on my way home…I just need some more time to figure this out. Can you tell them I went shopping or something?”

“
Sure,” he says with a pat on my leg. “You can do this.”

“I know. I’m just
ready for the drama to be over,” I say with a sigh.

“We all are.”

I drive around for over an hour just trying to clear my head, trying to make sense of everything Holly said. There was a time I wouldn’t have thought she would lie to me, but I’ve learned in the past several years that sometimes people do things just because they’re evil.

I can’t shake one thing she said to me, though. When she
told me Will went to see her, she said that it was after prom night. I suppose she could have picked that as an arbitrary event that Will and I would have attended together. If Will hadn’t left me that morning, telling me he had some things to take care of and would be out of pocket for a while, of course I’d believe she was lying. But it’s more than coincidence. The only way I’m going to know is for Will to explain himself.

The skies open up and rain starts to pour just as I pull into the driveway. I scurry inside and go straight to my room. In the 15 seconds it took me to get from the car t
o the porch I got nearly soaked. I pull my hair into a messy bun on top of my head and decide to take another shower, letting the hot water wash away the nastiness of the real Holly Reynolds.

Warm, dry, and in a fresh set of pajamas as my standard rainy-day uniform, I settle into the big green chair in the loft and watch the rain
, waiting for the best time to confront Will. Every fear and insecurity I’ve ever had is doing its best to claw its way to the top of my heart, shoving down all the progress I’ve made over these last three years. I want to believe Holly is lying about everything. That Will didn’t go see her, and that he never gave to her what he promised was meant for me, but I’m afraid that as disturbing as she was in her delivery, she’s wasn’t lying.

“Hey, babe! When did you get home?” Will asks, finding me in the loft.

“Oh…about an hour ago,” I tell him with a stone face.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Wes said you got a flat tire. Did it blow out on you? That happened to me once and I was pretty shaken for a while after.” Will is tender and sweet. He sits next to me in the oversized chair, almost enveloping me with his body.

“I didn’t have a flat tire, Will,” I say softly. I’m now struck with guilt that I made Wes lie for me.

“I don’t understand.”

I take a moment and decide that it’s now or never. There’s no easy way to enter this conversation, so I just blurt out the first question of many that is rumbling through my mind. “Did you go see Holly the day after prom?” I ask. I don’t look at him because if he’s going to lie to me, I don’t want him to have to do it to my face.

“What…why would you ask that?” Will stands and moves to the other side of the couch, essentially as far as he can go without reaching the stairs.

“Just answer me, please,” I say. I stand and face him. We’re on opposite sides of the couch now and it seems like a canyon of distance.

Will takes a deep breath in and looks down. “You went and saw Holly today, didn’t you?”

“You still haven’t answered me.” His avoidance is answer enough.

“Yes. I went to see Holly the day after prom.” He doesn’t move from his spot. He just watches me for my reaction.

“Why did you tell me you never knew where she was?”

“I told you that after they left town I didn’t know where she was. I never said…”

“Please don’t get into semantics, Will. You lied to me then and you lied to me yesterday. You said you had to go see her now because you needed to apologize, but you already apologized to her.” I’m holding up better than I thought I would, although I’m not sure how long it’s going to last. I still haven’t asked him about sleeping with her.

“Why are you so upset? Seeing her then or seeing her now, it’s all the same thing,” he says in his defense.

“You’re kidding, right? The morning after the most amazing night I’ve ever experienced, your first thought is to go see your ex-girlfriend!” I’ve raised my voice and now I know that I’m not going to be able to hold it together. He’s clueless. “Did you sleep with her?”

“What?” He’s genuinely shocked at my
question.

“Did. You. Sleep with her?” I emphasize each word
letting Will know just how angry and hurt I’ve become.

“No…technically, no,” he stammers.

“Technically. I can’t believe you…” I’ve officially lost it. I manage to get to the stairs before Will knows what’s happening and race down toward the door. Will follows after me quickly and slams the door shut just as I open it.

“Let me go, Will!” I shout at him.

“NO! I’m not letting you go. And I’m not going to let you close another door behind me either!” He matches my volume and I’m taken back for a second. We’ve never yelled at each other before.

“What’s going on in here?” Luke says rushing in.

“She talked to Holly today,” Will tells him.

“Oh, ok,” Luke says then goes back to where he came from.

“What the hell?” I say in astonishment. Luke has always had my back and now he just walks away?

“He knows everything,” Will says.

“Everything?”

“Yes. I told you early on that I was going to do everything I had to do to make sure I had Luke’s trust.” Will is staring, boring his beautiful blue eyes into me.

“So you told Luke all about your past but not me? That’s awesome.” I cross my arms in an immature stance of stubbornness. “Go away, Will. I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“Like hell, I’m going away. We’re going to sit down
and talk about this like two people so in love they would do anything to make their relationship work. You can either walk to the chair or I can carry you. Either way, we’re talking this out.”

I want to stay mad at him but it’s hard to argue with his logic. We
are
two people in love and we have already done so much to make our relationship work. I’m just so hurt and frustrated right now that it’s hard to see through the pain so I don’t budge.

“Ok, have it your way.” Will bends down and begins
to put me over his shoulder to carry me to the chair.

“Put me down! I’ll walk! I’ll walk!” I shout. Will puts me down and looks at me with anticipation.

“Well?” he says when I don’t move.

“Fine.” I walk slowly to one of the wing back chairs in front of the window
and plop myself down. Will paces in front of me and I can see that he’s sorting through the details, not sure of where to start. “Why didn’t you tell me you went to see Holly? I mean, after we were settled in Florida,” I say in an attempt to be rational.

“I never thought we were coming back here, and certainly never thought I’d have
anything to do with Holly again. I just…I couldn’t leave without her knowing how sorry I was about what my father did to her family.” He’s stopped pacing and is facing me now. His expression is serious.

“And…the other thing?” I ask. I start to look away, uncomfortable that I’m asking him about his sexual relationship with another girl, but rid myself of that as my desire to know the truth is outweighing my embarrassment.

Will kneels in front of me. I reluctantly let him take my hands in his. His face is pained and I can see that he’s devastated at the hurt he’s caused me.

“I’m…I’m not like other guys, Layla
. You know that. Chris, even Tyler, would talk about the girls they’ve slept with. It never appealed to me…I mean, it
appeals
to me…it’s hard to explain.” Will closes his eyes, frustrated with his inability to convey what he’s feeling.

“
Please try,” I plead softly. I have to understand this. I have to understand how he was able to share something with Holly that he’s refused me time and again.

“
One night, about a month after Holly and I started dating, things got…out of hand. We were making out and she started getting really aggressive and forward, taking my shirt off and moving my hands to touch her. At first I thought, ‘Hey this is great…she thinks I’m hot and wants me, and…”

“I get it.”

“Sorry. Um…well…clothes started coming off and…we got as close as two people can get to having sex without doing it.” He looks at me and then looks away as if suddenly struck by the embarrassment of it.

“You saw her naked.”

“Yes.”

“She saw you naked.”

“Yes.”

I le
an back in the chair, defeated and overwhelmed. Tears begin to sting my eyes and I can’t help it when they begin to flow down my cheeks.

“Stop. Stop it right now. I know what you’re thinking and you need to look at me. Look at me, Layla,” he gently commands. I manage to lift my face and Will begins to wipe away the wet trails of pain.
“Don’t you want to know why I stopped?”

“Does it matte
r? You came close enough, Will,” I say through my tears.

“It
does
matter.” Will takes my face in his hands and locks our eyes. “I couldn’t do it because I knew it was unfair. I hadn’t even met you yet and I knew that I was taking something from you. In my heart I knew Holly wasn’t the one. And even in the heat of that moment I knew that if I gave myself to her, I’d be robbing you, robbing me, of something special. I can only give myself away for the first time once, and I couldn’t see that with Holly. I didn’t want to trade what I wanted most for what I wanted in the moment because the moment is fleeting. I know it’s not
manly
or
cool
for a guy to wait until he’s married, but…it’s who I am and why I couldn’t go through with it with Holly.”

“We’ve been engaged for over a year, but you still don’t want me,” I say through my soft sobs.

“You want to just go have sex? Is that what you want? We’ll just start sleeping together and then we’ll get married and
nothing
will be different. We’ll have nothing to look forward to. Is that what you want?” His tone is changing and I can tell he’s irritated, having been through this with me too many times to count.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying,” I murmur.

“Why is it so important to you that we have sex? Is that the only way you’re going to understand the fullness of my love for you?”

“No, that’s not it. I don’t know…I spent so long being stifled in my ability to show love. When Gram was alive, I had this tiny window when Gramps and I were allowed to love each other. Where he could cuddle me and I could love on him. After she died and I became Gramps’ caretaker, I went into automatic mode of school, housework, Gramps. Some people tried to tell me that I was showing love by taking care of him. I suppose they were right, but that wasn’t how I felt.

“When I moved here, I felt like I could be me, be my age, and my world opened up. And when I met you, so did my heart. I’ve had all these emotions flooding my heart that all I’ve wanted to do is be as close to you as possible, to show you how incredibly deep my love for you is. I got on board with the waiting thing, Will. Really, I did. And, honestly, it
isn’t
that important to me. But when I hear how you might as well have done it with Holly…”

“Getting that close to it with Holly was the worst mistake I ever made. I regret every second of it and wish I could scrub my mind of the memory. But…this is me, my life, my past. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I should have. I want to share my life with you…crappy parts and all. Will you share my crap with me,
Layla?” He smirks.

“Lightening the mood with humor is my move,” I say taking his hands in mine. “I will. I will share your crap with you, as long as you’ll share mine.”

“I love your crap.” Will leans in and kisses me sweetly before pulling me to stand and hugging me fiercely. “I am
really
sorry I didn’t tell you. You had a right to know.”

“Thank you
for telling me now,” I say.

“So are you going to tell me why you went to see Holly?” he asks with a bit of chastisement in his tone.

“I went to convince her to tell you the truth about your relationship,” I say, not knowing how he’s going to react.

“You mean about how her mom used her to get to me as another way of getting to my father?” he answers.

“Uh, yeah. You knew?”

“Luke told me. When Holly was arrested and it was clear we were coming back to Davidson, Luke told me what she told you and Claire. I didn’t believe him at first, but Luke has no reason to lie to me, so…
There’s more to it, isn’t there?” he asks, observing my facial expression. I can’t hide my disgust for her, and my disappointment in myself for having believed her lies when she came to Florida to get Marcus. How could I not believe her story, especially after she helped us?