Safe (26 page)

After what Lainey pulled at my mom’s house, we had several long conversations about Sadie and me. I think she got it now, at least I hoped so. When I talked to Mom this morning on the way to pick up Sadie, she told me that everything was a go. I was nervous as shit; I couldn’t lie about that.

I wanted Sadie to see what could be. Hell, I wanted to see what could be. Pulling off the dirt road, I figured Sadie would know exactly where we were going. We had just been here a few days ago.

“Our spot.” She smiled at me.

“Yes.” But little did she know that it wouldn’t be the same as when she saw it before.

Pulling up to the spot, I looked over at Sadie. I wanted to see her reaction. Her mouth opened wide, her eyes about to pop out of her head, and her hand rested on her heart. I guessed she liked it.

“It’s beautiful, Landon. How did you do this?” she asked quietly.

“Magic,” was all I told her.

I got out of the truck and headed over to help her out. Sadie stood in front of me, her back to my front, and I put my arms around her. I was in awe of what my mom and Lainey had put together. It was pretty fucking awesome.

Draped throughout the trees was this white see-through stuff that blew in the wind. I had no idea how they got it to say up there, but there was tons of it. You could still see the trees through it, which was what I wanted.

In the middle of the area was a blanket, spread out. There was a picnic basket on the side, which I hoped Mom filled with good stuff. I didn’t give her any input on that one. No one messed with Mom and her food.

I could see there was a tray in the middle of the blanket that seemed to have food on it. Shit, I hoped the bugs didn’t get to it.

“This is wonderful. Landon, you didn’t have to do all this.” Sadie turned in my arms, and I looked in her beautiful eyes.

“God, you’re gorgeous,” I said, brushing my hand on her cheek. She tilted her head into my hand.

“Thank you,” she whispered and placed her head on my chest. I tightened my arms around her, and it felt perfect.

“Are you hungry?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Great, let’s go eat.” I took her hand and led her over to the blanket. She sat down on one side and looked all around. I could see tears forming in her eyes. What the hell did I do wrong?

“Baby, don’t cry.” I pulled her into me with my arm around her shoulder.

She shook her head, almost as if she was trying to shake her mind out of something. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”

I let go of Sadie and was instantly pissed I did. I felt this urge to just keep touching her all the time. I hadn’t stopped since that first kiss. I went to the picnic basket and began to pull out the food. Inside, I found chicken salad sandwiches, carrots, celery, chips, and strawberries.

Nice and simple just like I asked; not that I wanted to rush anything, I just had lots more plans in store.

I put the food on plates and handed one to Sadie. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, now will you tell me about your dad?” We’d spent tons of time together, and Sadie always seemed to get stuck talking about her dad. She told me the next time I asked she would be ready. I hoped that she would be now.

Sighing, Sadie started, “My dad was a wonderful man. He was a broker. He worked fifty plus hours a week at his office, but as soon as he got home, all of his attention was on my brother, mom, and me. When we were younger, he would chase us on his knees around the house. He’d let me ride on his back and play horse. He taught me how to throw a softball and play soccer. As I got older, I did the typical pull away from your parents thing. I wasn’t so nice a lot of the time. Looking back, I wish I could change some of that.”

“We all did things that we wish we didn’t. How did he die?”

Shit! I shouldn’t have asked. The lone tear rolling down her cheek was pissing me off. I wanted to wipe that pain away, and here I was bringing it up—stupid. “You don’t have to tell me, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s been a while. It actually happened really fast. All the stress of work got to him. He had a massive heart attack and died instantly. It was so strange. He called me on the way to work, and we talked about nothing really important. But little did I know, that would be the last time I would get to talk to him. Mom called me around two in the afternoon crying, and that was when my world changed.”

Sadie was crying now. I reached over and pulled her on to my lap. She didn’t struggle or shy away. I wrapped my arms around her and let her cry not knowing what to say to her. Obviously, his death was still really fresh for her.

Even though she was sad, I loved holding her so tightly against me. Inhaling her scent, she smelled of strawberries and vanilla, which had become my most favorite smells on Earth.

Gently stroking her hair and planting small kisses there also, she began to calm down.

“I’m sorry, Sadie. I didn’t mean to make you cry,” I whispered in her hair.

“I’m fine.” She was very short—almost embarrassed.

“It’s okay to miss your dad.”

She didn’t say a word; she just allowed me to hold her.

I really missed this, just holding a woman and comforting them. No, I was not a pussy, but Sadie’s soft body on me was seriously hot. I could feel every curve. Her ass pressed against my dick made me hard as a rock. But I knew now wasn’t the time for that.

When Sadie pushed off my lap and sat next to me, I wanted so badly to pull her ass right back where it was, but I knew I couldn’t.

I always thought of the first time I met her. The panic in her eyes when Lauryn smacked Lukas was clear as day. I still had no idea why she reacted the way she did, but I intended to find out.

“I’m sorry about that. Let’s talk about something else. Okay?”

“Sure.”

Taking my hands, I wiped all the tears from my face. I needed to pull myself together.

I wondered how he made this place so beautiful. When I first saw it, I probably looked like a fish out of water with my mouth hanging open. I couldn’t believe that anyone would go to so much trouble for me.

The way the tulle hung in the trees made it look like a fairy princess’s dream. It was soft, and the way it blew in the breeze was unbelievably romantic. My heart fell when I saw it. The more this man did for me, the more I wanted him to do it.

Rob never did anything like this. Even in his ‘good’ days, his idea of romantic was sitting with me at the dinner table before he had to run off to work.

I knew I shouldn’t compare them—Landon and Rob—but I couldn’t seem to help it. I knew that I didn’t want another man like Rob … ever. But Landon was proving to me more and more that he was nothing like Rob.

“Is everything okay with you and Lainey?” I knew they talked several times over the last few weeks, but I never pried and asked.

“No worries. We’ll be fine. We always are.”

“You really shouldn’t be mad at her,” I whispered. I really didn’t want to come in between him and his sister. I just wished he would have told me himself so I didn’t have all these horrible scenarios in my mind.

“I should have told you in the first place, and it would have never happened.” Shit. Did he just read my mind?

“I know you should have, but it’s been done. I would never want you to be mad at her because of me,” I said, looking at our entwined fingers on the blanket.

I lay down on my back, looking up at the trees and Landon followed. “It’s okay. Lainey and I will be fine. We’ve talked, and I think she gets now how I feel about you. I think she is actually happy.”

He squeezed my hand reassuringly. I turned my head to look at him, and he was staring at me.

“Would you have told me if Lainey didn’t?” It was the question I was dying to know now for weeks.

“Yes.” Blowing out a deep breath, Landon continued, “I just didn’t know when a good time would be to tell you my ‘issues.’ It’s not like I talk about them anymore. I tried to block it out of my head, but my actions were just screaming about it to everyone.”

I could hear the embarrassment in his voice. Maybe he really was tired of just having meaningless sex. I still wasn’t a hundred percent convinced of that yet, but I did hope he was.

I knew I said I didn’t want a relationship, and I knew I shouldn’t, but when I was with Landon, he made me want it. He made me feel things that I never thought I could. Well, he made me feel happy, for the first time in a long time, and I just wanted to latch on to that.

“I’m not gonna say you did the right or wrong thing. That was your choice to make, but you did what you had to do to cope with the pain. It was all you could do.”

Looking in his eyes, I could see him deep in thought. I wanted to jump in there and find out what he was thinking.

“It wasn’t a good way to cope.”

“If you say so.” I smiled at him. The thought of him with lots of different women made my stomach turn, but I couldn’t hold that against him. I made my choices to be with a man who hurt me. I didn’t make a good choice, and now I had to live with it every day.

Landon turned on his side and propped up on his elbow, letting go of my hand. His hand gently brushed my cheek, pushing my hair out of my face. My eyes instantly closed.

Just that little touch made my body heat.

“You are so beautiful, Sadie. I need to kiss you.” My lips parted, giving him the silent permission he wanted.

His once gentle approach must have been lost. This kiss, while not painful, was strong and demanding, coaxing mine into a beautiful dance. I matched him step by step, move by move.

Landon rolled on top of me, pressing his body weight exquisitely on me. His hands made it into my hair and pulled my messy knot out. “I need to put my fingers through your hair.”

I groaned in his mouth. God. Yes. Please.

Landon’s hand snaked up my body, but I didn’t flinch. A few weeks ago, I couldn’t stand to be touched. It made my stomach turn. The only touches that Rob gave me were rough, hurtful, and with no regard if I wanted them or not. He did as he wanted, whenever he wanted.

But Landon’s hands were different. They were caressing and soft. It felt like he wanted to cherish my body and me. I hadn’t been cherished since before my dad died. I couldn’t help but melt into him.

Landon’s hand brushed the underside of my breast. My back instantly jumped off the blanket, but with his weight, I didn’t get far. His hand brushed my nipple through my t-shirt, and I could feel myself beginning to throb.

“Sadie,” he whispered.

I looked in his eyes that were on fire for me. Yes. For me. Never had a man looked at me like they wanted to devour me, but not in a forceful way. I dared to say it was a loving way? Surely, that couldn’t be true. At least not yet. But I saw something there.

Reaching for the hem of his shirt, I easily pulled it off of him when he lifted. While I couldn’t see his front, my hands explored his back. There was ripple after hard ripple. My hands had a mind of their own and began grabbing and clawing at him. I had never felt this hot.

“We need to stop,” Landon said, pulling away.

“What? Why?” I said, gasping for breath.

“Sadie, I want to more than anything, but you need to know that what we have here is more than sex. I want you to know it is.”

“I do know it is. More than you know. Please.” I knew I sounded needy, but damn it, I was. I needed him for more reasons than he knew.

“I want to go slow.” I could see the inner struggle in his eyes. He wanted me; I knew that much. He wanted me to believe him. Then it hit me. That was what today was about—him showing me that I mean more to him than one day of sex.

“I get it, Landon. All the trouble you went through to make this a beautiful afternoon, I get it. The way you’ve taken care of me, I get it. You’re so gentle with me, I get it.” Taking his head in my hands, I made him look right in my eyes. “Landon. I. Get. It.”

He closed his eyes and dropped his head. “You have no idea what you do to me. Do you?”

“Show me,” I said.

“I want to so badly. I’ve been rock hard since the first time I saw you. Ol’ boy hasn’t gone down a bit.”

I smiled at him. I loved knowing that I affected him that much. What he didn’t know was he had me more revved up than I had ever known possible.

“Please,” I whimpered.

I really needed him. I needed to feel all of him. I needed him to make love to me.

Landon instantly attached his lips to mine, and I knew that it was time.