Safe (2 page)

Not only that, but I just didn’t want Rob to rule my life anymore. He had for way too long.

“I can’t, Mom,” I whispered back, tears threatening to fall from my eyes. I swallowed and pushed them back.

“Yes, you can, Sadie. We can make this work.” Mom’s voice had much more conviction than I thought possible.

I shook my head out of my stupor. “Mom, please let me sleep. I’m really tired.”

“No can do. Doc said no sleep for twenty-four hours.”

“Can we please stop talking for a little while? I need quiet.” I knew I was snapping, but damn it, I wanted to end this conversation. I didn’t want to leave. Why couldn’t she see that?

“Fine, I’ll sit over here and let you process what I said. But I’m serious, I don’t give a shit if I have to drag you kicking and screaming Sadie, you’re going. This is going to stop.”

Mom took a seat on the gaudy couch with the God-awful, huge ass flowers on it. Maybe I could get my head to stop pounding now that her voice wasn’t roaring.

I tried desperately to roll over on my side, but both sides of my body felt like they were on fire, pain surging up and down. The only comfortable position I could come up with was on my back, which left me staring at the bright white florescent lights on the ceiling. Damn it. Not good for my head.

I tried to clear my mind of what had happened, but it didn’t come. I wanted to erase it from my thoughts, but they wouldn’t’ go away. I felt my insides constricting and knew if I let my mind wander there, the tears would flow with no end in sight. I was stronger than that.

I tried breathing through it, but it didn’t help as the tears began rolling uncontrollably, my strength evaporating. Even though some of my memory of what happened was blurry, most of it was clear as day. Just remembering that day sent chills down my back.

I stopped at the grocery store on my way home to pick up some milk and dinner for the night. I went home like I did every other day, driving the same path through town to my tiny apartment, which I had only been living in the past three months after moving out of mom’s house. I felt calm, relaxed, and really didn’t have a care in the world except what was for dinner. I hadn’t heard from or seen Rob in six months. We had broken up a year and a half ago, but that didn’t stop him from coming around … regularly. I thought he was finally done with me since this was the longest period of time he’d been away. I was actually happy, something I hadn’t been in a long time. But that all abruptly changed that day.

While climbing up the stairs, I felt the hair stand up on the back of my neck, and my entire body went on alert. I looked around frantically and saw Rob standing by my door.

Panicking, my arms dropped the groceries on the ground, and I began to walk back down the stairs. He grabbed me, putting one arm around my waist, lifting me up off the ground with ease. His other hand was around my mouth so I couldn’t scream; my entire body began moving, trying to break free. I knew I shouldn’t fight because that just fueled him. But I couldn’t help it. I did not want what I knew he would do to me.

Anger rolled off him in waves as fear clutched my breath, forcing me to think to breathe. He whispered in my ear, “You really want me to kill you, don’t you? Make another fucking sound, and I will fuck you, kill you, and then go after your mom and Macy. You want them to deal with me?”

His voice was laced with such malice that I knew if I didn’t comply, he would kill them. I couldn’t let anything happen to them. I’d been protecting them for the past year and a half by allowing Rob to come and go as he pleased—doing whatever he wanted. Mom, Macy, and Seth were all I have left. With Seth gone overseas, that left Mom and Macy.

We entered my apartment with his arm around me, and his hand over my mouth, fear gripping my body. I tried to make noise, hoping the neighbors would hear the commotion, but there was no such luck.

Upon entering is where things got fuzzy. Pulling my hand up to my cheek, I remember the force of getting backhanded across the left side of my face, causing wild fire to spread down my cheek and a small trickle of blood to enter my mouth. I never got used to the metallic taste of blood. Falling to my knees, I begged him to stop and go away.

His words of
bitch
,
whore
, and
slut
began ringing through my ears. The hard kicks to the ribs sent shooting pain all the way to through my back. He then began ripping my clothes off, shredding them to pieces.

I tried blocking my body with my arms, but it did no good. He pulled my shirt hard, ripping it from the front of my body instead of over my head. I don’t remember how my pants came off, but obviously they were gone at this point.

I was completely naked and struggling on the floor. I wanted to wrap my arms around myself, distance myself from what was coming next. But he was just too strong.

I begged and pleaded for him to stop. I knew he wouldn’t, but I had to try anyway.

I tried closing my legs, but he had them pinned down with his muscular thighs, and I couldn’t move them. While I tried not to cry, I could feel the hot liquid trying to escape, but would be damned if I allowed it.

When he entered me, my continued pleas fell on deaf ears. I was so dry, and with Rob pushing in with all his strength, the pain seared through my body as my flesh tore, and the pain pulsated throughout. I cried out, but this only fueled him, making his thrusts harder.

His slaps and punches became harder. I tried to move away from the blows, but my body wouldn’t move the way I needed it to.

His strong arms wrapped around my throat as he began to squeeze and continue to push inside me. That was the last thing I remembered. I woke up to the beeping of machines in the hospital.

“Hey Sadie.” My body went on immediate alert, snapping me out of my thoughts and plopping me right back into the middle of my hell. The hair on the back of my neck stood just as it did every time I heard his voice. My heart began to race, feeling as if it would jump out of my chest at any time. I knew how he got in here to see me. It was the way he’d been getting through to me for the past year and a half … his job.

Before I could say a word, my mother chimed in, “Get the hell out of here, you worthless piece of shit!”

I hurriedly wiped my face, getting rid of all my tears I just shed and tried to sit up. The pain was too intense, and my body would not cooperate with me.

“Oh, come on Mrs. McKenny, is that the way to talk to your future son-in-law?”

“Yeah right. Like I’d let that happen. My daughter broke up with you a year and half ago, yet you keep coming around. You need to leave her alone. She will not be having any more
accidents
...” My mom was playing with fire here, and I couldn’t help her in this condition. This made my gut twist. If he were to touch her in any way, I couldn’t live with that.

“Mom … it’s okay. Everything’s fine now. Right Rob?” I asked, looking up at him, trying to hide the fear in my eyes.

Glaring at my mom, Rob responded, “Sure honey.” His tone dripped in sarcasm when the word
honey
escaped his lips. “Mrs. McKenny, I need to talk to Sadie alone.”

“Hell no!” she screeched, causing the sledgehammers to pound in my head even harder. I grabbed the sides of my head, trying to cover my ears, but it didn’t help. The pain was too intense.

“Mom. Just give me five minutes with him. You can wait outside the door. Everything’s fine.” I pleaded with her because I knew what Rob had to say, and I didn’t want my mom to hear; the sooner he said it, the sooner he would leave.

“No Sadie, I’m staying, and he’s leaving … for good this time.” Mom’s defiance reminded me of all the times I did the same to her. Dad always said that I was just like my mother.

“Now, now, Mrs. McKenny. You wouldn’t want anything to happen to your beautiful daughter, right?” I felt my entire body freeze. It was the first time that he actually threatened me in front of my mom. I was in panic mode, beginning to sweat, and my pulse was so fast I could hear it in my ears. I thought for sure the nurses would bust in at any minute to check the machines from all the beeping that began.

I knew he wasn’t kidding around, and at some point, he had every intention of killing me. “You should really mind your manners, and give a man some time with his woman.”

Before my mom could snap, I jumped in. “Mom. Please just go outside for five minutes. Please. I’ll be okay.” I pleaded with my eyes for her to just wait outside, even though I knew that nothing was fine, and it would kill her to leave me alone.

“Yeah, right … he says something like that and everything is all right. I’ll be right outside the door, with security,” she said, kissing me on the forehead. I winced, and she walked out the door.

“Thank God that old bitty is gone,” Rob snarled.

“That’s my mom, don’t call her that,” I bit back.

“I suggest you watch your tone with me, woman.” He gave me that look … his eyes wide, anger pulsating through them, mouth in a tight line and hand tensing at his side. The look on his face screamed for me to shut the hell up, or he would slap or punch me into silence.

So being the coward I was, I zipped my lips.

“Since you so graciously told your mother I would be done in five minutes.” Rob turned on his condescending smile. “I have to make this quick, so listen up.”

I didn’t say a word. I knew the speech and knew it was coming. It’d been the same for the past year and a half, and I could recite it like a broken record.

“You breathe a word of this to anyone, and you’re dead. Your mom … is dead.” He always had to punctuate the word dead like I didn’t know what he meant. “Oh, and don’t forget Macy … I will of course have some fun with her first before I kill her … but she’ll be dead, too, eventually.”

“Please go away. I won’t say a word, but please just leave me alone. We haven’t been together for a long time. I just want to be left alone.”

“Now why in the hell would I give up a hot piece of ass like yours? Never … ain’t gonna happen. And just so you know, you will always be mine, and I will come and get whatever I want from you, whenever I want. No one will have you … ever.” Rob leaned in close to my ear and whispered, “You belong to me.”

The words sent shivers down my spine, and I flinched.

I didn’t have to look at him to see the smile that crossed his face from my reaction. It was what he wanted, and I gave it right to him. I was not his. I never wanted to be his again. The thought of ever being his again made me what to throw up. I hated him with every fiber of my being. I wanted him to rot, but more than that, I wanted those I loved safe. And I knew Rob. He would make good on his threats. I had no way of stopping him. I would need to suck it up.

I took a deep breath, willing the tears to go away. “Leave and don’t come back, please.” I hated that my voice was so damn shaky. I wanted it confident and strong, but who was I kidding.

“Now if we’re supposed to get married, I have to come around … a lot. And I plan on it. This was way too much fun tonight. I want more. I need more. So, I’ll be back sooner rather than later. And I know how you like it rough. We’re a perfect match.”

I cringed at his words. I said the exact same ones before, about being perfect for one another; boy how wrong was I?

I met Rob three months before my dad died. While sitting in the coffee shop around the corner from my apartment, I was immersed in the latest sexy novel and didn’t hear anyone approach me. “Did you drop your bookmark?” I jumped at the deep, masculine voice.

Looking up, I saw the most handsome man I had ever seen. I had only read about men like him in my books. My pulse picked up, and my nerves kicked into high gear. His blonde hair was messy and unruly, but undeniably hot. His eyes locked onto me, and the warm brown melted my heart. His smile was wide and fiercely addictive, making me smile right back.

His uniform also caught my eye. The large badge with Michigan State Police held my attention and pulled me into him more. Cops were safe and protected you … or so I thought.

We only had a couple of dates, but nothing too serious. He was fun to hang around—taking me to dinner, bowling, and the movies. We had many things in common from music to reading.

When my dad passed three months later, I was in a terrible place—sad, depressed, and not wanting to do much of anything but sleep.

Rob heard about Dad’s passing and came to me. He was sweet, kind, thoughtful, and patient. He ended up taking care of me, making me eat, shower, and even just get out of bed. He did everything that a great guy would do for someone he cared about.

I fell head over heels in love with him. His tenderness and the way he held me when I cried was my undoing.

Everything was wonderful. He was every girl’s dream; he bought me flowers, gifts, and even cooked romantic dinners. He was considerate of my mom and Macy, always asking me how my mom was holding up. He was attentive and interested in my life. It was perfect.

Then about a year into the relationship, I found out that being a cop was just a cover for his real business. I had always wondered how he always had money for the expensive dinners and gifts, but I never questioned him.

Everything went from great to horrible in the blink of an eye. My world was undoubtedly changed, and I wish I had never found that scrap of paper.

I knew I should have left after that first time he laid his hands on me. I wasn’t a total moron, but I just knew that he was mad about me finding something he didn’t want me to know. It was my fault for digging through his stuff.

I knew the Rob I loved was in there. I just had to find him and pull him back out. That was what my mission became.

When I first found out about his side job, the rage and self-doubt I had coursing through me ate at me from the inside out. Now when I thought about it, it made me numb.

To say he was furious at what I discovered was an understatement. Looking in the office for a misplaced receipt changed the entire course of our relationship … and not for the better.

My heart raced as I read and reread the paper; there was no way this was right. No way that
my
Rob would do this. No way would he be involved with anything like this. As I went to put the papers back, my timing really sucked.