Sacrificing Sloan (Sloan Series Book 3) (20 page)

I laid the rose on his grave, suppressing a shiver that went up my spine. I half-expected his hand to reach out and grab me, before pulling me into the grave with him. “Good-bye, Boyd Lawrence. I hope before you died, you found some sort of peace.”

With that finished and no hands coming out of the grave, I went back to Aaron and put my hand on his back. I thought it would be the hardest for him. Aaron wasn’t the most emotional person ever, and this would require him to actually let something go.

For a few minutes, he stood and just stared at the tombstone. Then, without a word to me, he took his first step.

Aaron

I
DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
I had a lot of things I wanted to say… none of them appropriate to yell at a corpse… so my mind just kept clogging up with all of these things to say and not say. When I looked at the grave, I saw lots of different images: the Boyd I hated. The one who came out of the shadows at Sloan’s prom and attacked me. The one who helped me up the trail. The one who pulled me down into the falls. The one who cried for his father. The one who shot my brother.

The one who hurt the girl I loved.

But this wasn’t about Boyd, was it? None of it was. It was about me and finding closure. What happened to me wasn’t Boyd’s doing. The nightmares, Boyd wasn’t causing that. He wasn’t a ghost haunting me. Wherever Boyd was, it wasn’t on this earth.

But I still was.

And I had to come to terms with what happened.

I stopped a few feet from where the green grass met the dirt of Boyd’s grave, and I just let go. “I hate you. Is that the wrong thing to say? It probably is, and I don’t care. I hate you. I hate you for hurting my friend. I hate you for hurting my girlfriend. I hate you for shooting my brother. I hate you for breaking into my house and trying to kill me. I hate you for having to go into hiding after you attacked Sloan, and nearly losing my brother because of it. I hate you for so much…

“But I can’t hate you forever. What good does it do to hate you? Will you ever know? In those last minutes of your life, did you think I’d save you, or did you know already? Did you know I was lying, when I said I’d let you go when we got to the top of the trail? Or did you just go along with it because you were lost too?

“I didn’t know you that well—not the ‘real’ you—or what I hope was the real you. The guy you showed me in the woods, that was a kind and compassionate guy. That was a guy who was actually sort of fun to be around. That is the guy I wished you could be, and not filled with all of this hatred.”

Then… it hit me. “If I don’t let go of this… if I keep holding on to it… I’ll turn out just like you. I’ll be filled with hate and anger and frustration. I could turn everything good in my life into something bad, and I do not want to do that.”

I refused to cry for Boyd, but my tears didn’t seem to care. They streamed down my face, anyway. “I don’t want to turn out like you.” My shoulders shook from the sobs I felt coming on, and I hated it. I couldn’t stop them. Couldn’t stop the tears. Couldn’t stop any of it. I fell apart at Boyd Lawrence’s grave—of all people—while everyone else watched.

“I don’t want to be you, but I’m afraid I will be, if I don’t let some of this anger go—let all of it go. I hate a lot of things—and not just you. I hate that my father left. I hate that my mother left. I hate that I have to be the one to take care of Ray, because he deserves better than me. I don’t know what I’m doing with him half the time, and I’m lucky that he’s a good kid. He’s a much better person than I’ll ever be, and I’m so afraid I’ll screw him up. I don’t want that. I don’t want to make the wrong choices.

“I don’t want to choose like you, and let hate control my life.”

This wasn’t about Boyd anymore. Truth be told, it never was. It was about me and my fears and my insecurities and my failures. So many failures. “I hate some of the things I’ve done in my past. When I see you, I see something I could become, and that terrifies me.” My arms gave way, and I couldn't hold myself up on my crutches anymore. I fell to the ground. I didn’t care how bad it hurt. I didn’t care about anything at the moment. “I don’t want to be like I am anymore. I don’t want to hold all of this pain and all of this anger inside. I need to get it out. I need it gone.”

Hands wrapped around my shoulders, and I knew instantly who it was. Sloan’s soft sobs broke my heart, and I wanted to make everything better for her. Truthfully, I had no idea how. Another hand clamped on my shoulder. It was Ray. And Mackenzie beside him.

They had all come over to help me, to save me, but I wasn’t sure someone like me could be saved. No, I wasn’t Boyd Lawrence. I hadn’t done every bad thing he’d done, but I still had so much hatred inside me, that I had worried on more than one occasion if I’d snap like he did. I couldn’t do that. Not with Sloan around. I’d do anything to protect her. I loved her too much.

Sloan put her head to mine and whispered in my ear. “Do you want me to pray with you?”

I sat up straighter, and my automatic response was no. No, I didn’t want her to pray with me! I didn’t need anything from God. I didn’t want anything from God—I wasn’t even sure…

And then, without waiting for an answer, the sweetest prayer I’d ever heard filled my ears. It was Sloan. From the corner of my eye, I saw her eyes close, and her heart poured out to God. Ray joined her, and I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. The pain. The hurt. The anger. I needed it all of it gone. It hurt too much to hold onto. Everything hurt.

I couldn’t do it anymore.

I was a broken man.

I was a scared man.

So there… at Boyd Lawrence’s grave, I gave it all up to God.

Not how I pictured my story to go.

But it did.

When I finally gave my heart to Jesus, I felt the biggest weight come off of my shoulders. I knew it wouldn’t be easy. I knew it wouldn’t make all of my problems go away, but I finally felt like I had a place to go, when things
did
get bad. I knew I wasn’t alone in this, and that made all the difference in the world.

I was still the same Aaron Hunter, but different, if that made any sense. I felt like me, but a better me. I felt lighter. More free.

I felt like my story was just beginning.

Beginning with Sloan by my side.

I didn’t put my rose on Boyd’s grave. I put it on Mr. Lawrence’s with Darcy’s. If that man hadn’t found me by the creek, there is no telling what would have happened to me. Oh, I know what would have happened—I wouldn’t have been there. I owed him everything, and I wished more than anything that he hadn’t died.

I wished I could have saved him like he saved me.

F
ROM THAT DAY ON
, I didn’t have any more nightmares about Boyd. I’d truly let him go, and I had other things to think about.

Like being a good role model for Ray, even though I slipped up some—okay, a lot.

And I had to be a good boyfriend to Sloan. I wanted to show her that not all men were like Boyd. That there were some good ones in the world.

I started going to church with her, Ray, Mackenzie, and Sloan’s parents. Her father moved back to town. Tiffani left him soon after. To my utmost surprise, Sloan's dad wanted to get back with Sloan’s mother. But, thanks to Pastor Neal, she was no longer available.

I went back to school. Got my mechanics license, and after saving for what seemed like forever, I opened my own garage.

Sloan became a teacher… something she never actually thought she’d be. A mechanic and a teacher didn’t really make much money, but that was okay. We didn’t need a lot. We kept the house; Ray moved next door, and on the day he graduated with his degree in engineering, he asked Mackenzie to be his wife. It surprised no one, when she said yes.

Sloan became my wife a year after I opened the garage. It was the perfect wedding ceremony, out in the field on Brown Hollow Road. The wind gently swayed the flowers and grass. We stood under an arch of white roses. Sloan wore the prettiest lace dress I’d ever seen, and the sun lit her hair like a halo. That’s what she was. My angel.

The preacher, Mrs. Lawrence, asked if anyone objected to us being married.

I would punch anyone in the nose who said no.

Ray and Mackenzie sat in the seats behind Sloan’s parents. They had enough to worry about with the twins.

Both sides of the aisle were full, even mine.

When no one objected, Mrs. Lawrence pronounced us man and wife. I kissed Sloan and became the happiest man on this earth.

As we walked back down the aisle, I noticed a single red rose petal among all the white ones.

I
CAN’T SAY WE
had the perfect life. I can’t say we never fought or argued or slammed doors. But what I can say is that Sloan and I were perfect together.

She was my everything.

She still is.

The End

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

K
ELLY
M
ARTIN
is the bestselling author of paranormal, contemporary, historical, and YA fiction. She has been married for over ten years and has three rowdy, angelic daughters. When she’s not writing, she loves taking picture of abandoned houses, watching horror gamers on YouTube — even though she’s a huge wimp — and drinking decaf white chocolate mochas. She’s a total fangirl, loves the 80s and 90s, and has a sad addiction to paranormal TV shows. {Basically, she likes creepy stuff.} Her favorite characters are the very flawed good guys — and bad guys who don’t know they are evil.

If you ever have a question or comment, feel free to email her at [email protected] or [email protected].

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OTHER BOOKS BY KELLY MARTIN

Paranormal

The Afterlife of Lizzie Monroe

The Heartless Series:

Heartless

Soulless

Breathless

Hart (a novella/journal)

Reckless (Fall 2016)

Shattered Fairy Tale Series

Betraying Ever After

The Beast of Ravenston

The Glass Coffin

Cloaked in Red (Mr. Dodsworth’s story)

Contemporary

The Deception of Devin Miller

B.I.G. is Beautiful: A Love Story

Hindsight Series

Out of the Blue

The Black Heart

Red Scarlet

YA Inspirational

Crossing the Deep

Saint Sloan Series

Saint Sloan

Saving Sloan

Sacrificing Sloan