Sacred Waters (13 page)

Was someone with him? She heard nothing but an echoless silence on the other end of the door.

He cleared his throat. “I don’t want to wait. That’ll only confuse me more. It’s already June. I have less than two months. The sooner I take my vows the sooner I’ll be feeling more like myself again. I’m sure it’s just anxiety as time is closing in.”

He was quiet for a moment then, “It has nothing to do with that. Yes, I’m sure. How would her being here matter anyway? She’s here for my brother.”

He seemed to finish the end of his statement with a tinge of hostility and—dear God, was he talking about her?

“I spent all morning in the chapel and then ran six miles. This anxiety needs to be dispersed so I can put myself back to right and focus on what I’m here to do. I despise feeling so distracted. I’m not normally like this.”

He seemed to be listening to the person on the other line. She had no doubt at this point that he was speaking on the phone. Was she the cause of his distraction?

“Yes. I know that. I know what you had with Amelia and that you’d choose another day with her in a heartbeat over a lifetime dedicated to God, but I’m not you, Father Tucker. I’ve never cared about those things. Whatever this is, it’ll pass and it’s wrong of me to make her think any different. I think it’s best that I return.”

Sam placed a hand on her chest as chills raced up her spine.

“It should be my choice when I return. I understand I can’t take my vows until August first, but I see no reason why I have to be forced out of my home.”

Was he planning on leaving his family because of her presence? She felt like an intruder in the worse way.

“I know this is my home, but Saint Peter’s is my home too. If I wish to return early I should be permitted to do so.”

Samantha couldn’t listen to another word. She blinked back tears and swallowed against the hard lump forming in her throat.

Quickly, she went to the opposite door and made the bed and began tossing her clothes onto the covers. She needed to leave. There was no way she could be held responsible for ruining Colin’s last stay with his family before he became a priest.

She should’ve never come here. It was the idea of returning to her parents’ empty home that had her sniffling and wiping back tears. What was wrong with her?

Going to the closet she saw someone moved her suitcase to the top shelf. She stood on her toes and tried to latch onto the handle with her fingertips. When she had a mediocre grip she yanked and the case came tumbling down with a thud.

What she wasn’t prepared for was the heavy trophy that followed and slammed into her shoulder then landed on the floor with a bang.

The sound of movement had her looking up from where a mark was already forming on her skin.

“Sammy, are you okay?”

Shit
. She let out a breath and the last of her composure slipped. With slumped shoulders she slowly turned and faced Colin. The moment he saw her face she knew there was no hiding the fact that she was crying.
Damn fair Irish skin
.

He still held the phone to his ear, but his eyes were held wide on her face. “I’ll have to call you back,” he said, shutting the phone and tossing it on the bed.

“You’re bleeding.”

“What?” she looked at her shoulder and sure enough there was blood. “It’s just a scratch. A trophy fell on me.”

He frowned examining her arm. “How did that happen?”

She wiped her eyes, hoping she’d seen the last of her tears. “I was trying to reach my suitcase.”

He looked at the bag on the floor and to her clothing piled on the bed. “Are you leaving?”

Better me than you.
“I have to go. Something’s come up.”

“Is everything okay? Your family?”

“They’re fine. I just…I need to be getting home.”

He gave a silent "oh" and looked down at the carpet.

He was again in casual clothes. He looked as if he had run very hard that afternoon. Lengthening shadows from the fading sun brought her attention to his sneakers. The man looked perfect in just about anything, even ratty old Nikes.

“I suppose Braydon will be going too, then.”

“What? No. Braydon can stay. I can even take a train back. I just need a ride to the station.”

“Does he know you’re planning to leave?”

Tell me to stay, she thought yearningly and grew even more frustrated. “What?”

“Braydon. Does he know you’re leaving?”

“Oh. No, I just decided.”

He thought for a moment, that introspective look in his eye again. Then he looked back to the bathroom and down at his phone on the bed and back to her. Shit. He suspected she had been eavesdropping.

“Sammy—”

“Don’t. It’s fine. This is your home. I don’t want to cause anyone to be uncomfortable in their own home.”

“It isn’t like that—”

“It’s not a big deal. My parents will be glad to have the time with me anyway.”

“I thought Braydon said they were away.”

Damn it!
“They cut their trip short.”
Nice. Lie to the priest.

It didn’t matter anyway. He looked at her and she knew he didn’t believe her. He pinched the bridge of his nose as if he were getting a headache. She took the opportunity to retrieve her bag from the floor and carry it to the bed, careful not to get too close to him.

Ignoring Colin, she began unzipping the case and refolding her items before packing them away. When he grasped her arm she froze.

“Sammy, don’t. Don’t go because of me. Please. You have as much a right to be here as any of us. You’re Braydon’s guest.”

She shook her head sadly. “He wouldn’t know the difference if I stayed or left. You all are reading way too far into our relationship.”

A beat of silence. “Look at me.”

She hesitantly did as he asked and turned to face him, wrinkled t-shirt still in hand. His gaze searched her face.

All she knew in that moment was that the touch of his skin to hers, no matter how casual a grip he held on her arm, it somehow managed to send more of a shock to her core than anything else ever had. Why? Why this man?

“Do you love him?” he finally asked.

She pressed her lips together in irritation. “I told you I don’t. We’re friends.”

“But I saw you kissing him.”

“You saw
him
kissing me,” she corrected. “And people kiss all the time. It doesn’t mean they’re in love.”

He looked as though he wanted to say a hundred things in that moment, but all he said was, “I can’t, Sammy.”

“Can’t what?”

“This…the way you make me feel. He’s my brother and I’ll be a priest in less than two months.”

She wanted to kick him. How dare he assume that she was giving him an invitation to turn down? She knew what he was! She wasn’t some Mary Magdalene trollop hoping to throw him off his path to God. She resented the fact that he thought she could be so uncaring about his commitment.

“I never asked you to be anything more than his brother, Colin.”

He dropped her arm and took a step back. His Adam’s apple moved under the shadow of his jaw as he gave a tight smile, but his eyes remained unmoved.

“My mistake,” he said gruffly. “Anyway, please stay. I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable, but there’s no need to go. I’m leaving in the morning.”

She imagined the entire family sitting around questioning each other why Colin left when he was supposed to be there for the summer. They’d eventually figure something out. He didn’t lie, she assumed, and feared he would confess it had something to do with her. Being held accountable for his leaving would be utterly humiliating.

She was angry that he’d put her in that position. Getting home to some Ben and Jerry’s sounded all together great. “Don’t bother,” she snapped and turned to continue packing.

She gasped when he reached for her again, this time with more force, and spun her around. His soft lips landed on hers and she squeaked in surprise. He held her just below her shoulders and she wasn’t sure what to do. Surely he’d come to his senses in a minute.

She stood there, eyes open, and waited. His mouth never opened, only pressed to hers dryly, lips to lips.

When he pulled away he was visibly shaking. He shook his head and attempted the say something, but no words came out. He turned, but then faced her again as if he wasn’t sure what to do. The palm of his hand gripped the back of his neck in a show of irritation. She hadn’t a clue what to say. He wasn’t looking at her and she knew he was having some sort of internal argument with himself.

 “I can do better than that.”

When he reached for her the second time she was again shocked.

Her hands went to his chest and he wrapped his arms around her torso arching her back. He was practically holding all of her weight, pulling them pelvis to pelvis and lifting her to her toes.

His mouth coasted over hers and at the first touch of his tongue she felt some sort of pent up release deep within her belly and her panties suddenly flooded with desire. Never in her life had she had that sort of reaction to another person.

“Kiss me, Sammy. Show me how to kiss a woman.”

Her mouth slowly opened and he found his way inside. If he was any sort of novice there was no telling from his kiss. Slowly, his tongue tickled hers and her hands glided up his chest, across his warm and stubbly neck and into his soft dark hair. He pulled her close so that her belly pressed to his and it was perhaps the most sexual position she had ever been in with a man.

He moaned into her mouth and slanted his lips over hers, taking control of the kiss. A storm of fluttering tickles unleashed in her lower abdomen. She met him with every lick, nibble, and caress.

“God, you taste good.”

The mention of God had her cowering in shame. She gave him one final stroke with her tongue then carefully extricated herself from his embrace. On shaky legs she moved across the room so that the bed separated them. She couldn’t help but admire the waist of his shorts and notice his erection pressing against the back of his zipper.

She was a horrible, horrible person.

“Sammy—”

The wanting that burned inside of her became almost painful. Impossible to satisfy. “Don’t, Colin. It means nothing. I’m leaving tomorrow so you might as well stay.”

“Please don’t go. I just…I never needed to kiss a woman like I needed to kiss you then.”

“Well, that moment's over now and I’m still here with Braydon and you’re still going to be a priest. I need to leave. It’s wrong for me to stay here and lead your brother on. And I couldn’t live with myself if you left your family because of me or if I…” He obviously figured out she’d been listening to his conversation. “…If I caused you any more distraction.”

“Talk to Braydon. He doesn’t have to know about this, but tell him how you feel. I know him. He’ll want you to stay.
I
want you to stay. I know what I am and I know this can be nothing more than what we just shared. It won’t happen again and I’ll leave you alone. Please. My mother and sister and the rest of my family are enjoying your company. Stay. Don’t go home to an empty house. You’re welcome here. If you stay, I’ll stay.”

“And if I go?”

“I’ll leave as well.”

She shut her eyes and sighed. “Fine.”

“Good.”

He took her suitcase and lifted the clothes out of it. He carried it to the closet and seemed to think twice about putting it back on the shelf. Rather, he stowed it on the floor next to Braydon’s shoes, picked up the trophy from the floor, and placed it on his brother’s dresser.

Without looking at her he said, “Dinner’s probably ready.”

He left the room the way he came, this time securely shutting the bathroom door behind him.

The moment she was alone she dropped to the bed and let the severity of what happened consume her. Wrapping her arms protectively around herself, she began to tremble, but she refused to let herself cry over her own stupidity. Her head hurt, where she scraped her shoulder burned, and her eyes stung with the tears trying to break free, but she would
not
cry.

Chapter Eight

Dinner was delicious, but awkward. Braydon kissed her cheek when she returned to the kitchen then proceeded to ignore her as he regaled the others with stories of the day. Sam kept her nose down and avoided eye contact with all of them.

After Colin left she allowed herself only a few moments of self-pity then told herself to grow up and get over it. He was going to be a priest and she couldn’t mess with that. Even if she could sway him otherwise he’d only end up resenting her in the end. And for what? A few measly kisses. Sam had no business interfering with his plans.

As much as she wanted to leave she wanted to stay. Katherine and Anthony and the kids had come to dinner and after the women were finished tidying up the kitchen, Sam sat on the floor of the den with Frankie and Skylar playing
Trouble
.

Braydon and his brothers sat out front drinking and telling old stories they each heard a hundred times, but still found as amusing as the first telling. Colin left after dinner. Sam was curious about where he was going, but told herself it was none of her business and she’d be better to stop thinking of him so much.

She needed to talk to Braydon, but could tell by the course the evening was taking that tonight was not the night for a serious conversation. Around nine o’clock Katherine gathered up the kids and said their goodbyes. Italian Mary was already asleep on the recliner, but when Katherine considered out loud about letting her stay rather than waking her, Frank jumped from his seat on the couch and offered to carry her out.

Anthony ended up waking his mother and shuffling a sleepy and much more docile Italian Mary out to the car. Once the kids were gone Maureen and Frank made their excuses and headed up to bed.

Sam stood by the door for a few minutes debating whether or not to tell Braydon she was going to bed. Their drunken merriment echoed off the trees as their words slipped clumsily out of their mouths and slurred together.