Sacred Serenity (Lotus House Book 2) (12 page)

I swallowed, forcing myself to breathe through the emotion clogging my thoughts. “Yeah, she is.”

He squeezed my hands, and for some reason, it was beyond comforting. Not in a creepy older man way, but in a friendly manner. Even though I’d just met the gentleman, I knew instinctively he could be trusted.

“When, darling?” He tilted his head to the side, giving me his full attention.

A full moment passed as I let his question sink in before I could mutter, “Childbirth.”

His face crumbled, his eyebrows curling in, his lips turning down. Genuine sadness. “How old are you, darling? You couldn’t be much younger or older than my boy Landen here.” He cupped a hand on Landen’s shoulder and gave him the male pat that guys did.

I chuckled, and Landen’s worried expression finally lifted. “I just turned twenty-two.”

Something about me saying my age struck a chord with Cal. He stood ramrod straight, turned around, grabbed a bottle of whiskey, and set it on the bar top with a wallop. He then laid out three shot glasses and filled each to the rim.

“Drink up, then, darling.”

After the day I’d had and the fact that I’d just met another man who’d obviously known my mother, I grabbed the shot and tossed it back. “Another, please.”

* * *

M
y phone buzzed
in my back pocket, vibrating and tickling my bum. I leaned back, thrusting my chest out toward the bar, and twisted around, my noodle-like limbs not cooperating properly. Landen, who sat next to me, backed up the best he could where we were squished next to one another in a crowded bar. I swear it was like digging for gold to get to my phone. Eventually I pulled it out, but it stopped ringing the second I had a hold of it. I frowned as the display said, “Missed Call from Mr. Yoga.”

I pouted and slapped the phone on the bar and picked up my shot. While squinting one eye, I focused on not allowing the golden liquid to slosh out the sides this time. When I got it to my lips without losing a drop, I sucked it back with pride. The drink was liquid fire going down my throat, but I relished the burn.

Landen chuckled and was about to speak when my phone started buzzing on the tabletop. The screen showed, “Mr. Yoga” again, and I smiled huge. He’d called back.

“Whoa, now that’s the first time I’ve seen you smile all night.” Landen grinned.

I sloppily turned the phone on and put it to my ear. “H’lo.” I meant to say the full hello. Apparently, I was far more inebriated then I thought. My mouth was not working at full capacity.

“Amber, thank God. Where are you? I’ve been waiting at your grandparents’ all night.”

“You spoke to my nana and papa…mmm…why you there? Y-you”—
hiccup
—“you…Cosey…Coshmo…should be with me. I’m fun!” I said into the phone.

“Who’s dat?” Landen asked loudly in my ear, poking a finger at my phone.

I swatted his hand and laughed. Then I closed one eye and focused on Landen’s pretty boy face. “That’s m-my my um…boyfriend. Yes!” I cheered when I got the word correct. Then a heaping dose of sorrow poured over my good time, and sadness crept into my party because I remembered yesterday.

“Baby, why you sad now?” Landen asked.

His face was funny when he puffed his lip and squinted. Kind of all pinchy-faced. I patted his knee.

“Amber, who are you with and where are you?” Dash sounded so strange. His words were all growly and unhappy in my ear.

“You don’t love me anymore,” I slurred and then choked on a sob-slash-drunken hiccup.

“Where. Are. You?” His words brooked no argument.

I looked around. “Oh, yeah.” Snapping my fingers was really hard all of a sudden. With effort, I watched as I attempted a couple times until I got a solid smack sound out of it. “I know this one!” I screamed and raised my hand in the air. “O’Brien’s.”

Dash groaned in my ear. “Amber, are you at the study buddy’s house? I can hear music in the background.”

Lowering my voice, I giggled. “No, silly.” I twirled my chair from side to side and then spun it around lifting my knees into my chest. “Whee!” I laughed. “’Cause I’m at a bar, don’cha know!”

“That’s down the street from me. I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Before I could say okay and that I loved him, he hung up. I pouted and looked for my drink, but everything was blurry with streaks of color.

Landen patted my arm a little harder than I would have liked so I shoved him back. “Hey! That hurts.”

His eyes widened, and he rubbed at his face. “Sorry. Sorry. I think I’m drunk!”

“Me, too!” I laughed.

“I think you’re both three sheets to the wind,” Uncle Cal cut in and put two big glasses of water in front of us.

“Booo!” I brought the chilly glass close to me and sucked at the straw. “You no more fun.” Then I turned to Landen. “Uncle Cal is no more fun.”

Landen nodded, trying to get his tongue around the straw, and looped an arm over my shoulders. “See, you had a good time with me, right?”

“Boy…what are you doing?” Uncle Cal’s eyes got hard, and his face was all wrinkly.

My buddy kissed my cheek. “Just trying to show a pretty girl a good time. That’s all.”

Uncle Cal glared. “Not this girl you’re not.” His tone was loud and mad like when my papa was scolding me for sneaking his cookies.

Landen pushed his water aside angrily. It tipped over and the rest of the ice and water sloshed out all over the bar top. “Why not?” he roared but then saw the water and his indignation ran out. “Oh shit.” Landen tried to help by sopping up the water with his shirtsleeve. Puddles of icy water spilled in every direction and soaked both his arms, leaving giant water rings.

“Dammit, Landen. Boy, just leave it.” Uncle Cal looked like he was gritting his teeth the same way one of the dogs did, the ones that always had the mean faces. What did they call those? Ugh. I couldn’t think. My head was so dizzy.

“I’m not leaving anything. I like Amber and she likes me. Right?” He smacked a wet spot on the bar, and it sprayed out.

I piggy-laughed at his silliness. He turned to me, and his face was so cute and sad that I patted his cheek. “Yep!”

A voice I dreamed of nightly broke into our conversation. “Well, she’s
in love
with me, so get your goddamned hands off my girlfriend.”

Big fat meanie! “Hey! You, you can’t speak about God like that. He gets pissed!” I swung around in my chair and knocked heads with Landen. “Owee!” I rubbed at the sore spot but knew that voice. The voice that could make angels sing. Dash. My Dash Alexander.

Dash stood with his arms crossed over his chest. “Little bird, you’re drunk.”

I nodded a bunch of times while trying to get out of my chair. I wanted to make a graceful jump into his arms, only my limbs would not comply. The second my foot hit the floor, I wobbled and fell forward. My body was jerked upright and slammed against the widest, warmest, most comfy chest I’d ever had the pleasure of snuggling.

“Are you drinking away our troubles, my love?” Dash asked and then kissed my forehead.

Our troubles. The simple fact that we even had troubles at only the three-week mark struck a chord with me, and the water faucet turned on. Tears filled my eyes and fell down my cheeks.

“Oh, little bird…” He kissed away as many tears as he could, but they kept coming. “I need to get her home. Can I settle up her tab?” Dash offered.

See? He was a good man. Even though we had a problem, he wanted to cover my tab. “I love you.” I held his face as best I could. I needed to tell him what he meant to me, but the words were all garbled up in my brain, and I couldn’t get any more of them out.

Dash locked an arm around my back and cupped my cheek. “I know. Relax. It will be okay.”

“Promise?” I touched my thumb to his lips. I wanted to feel his response, not just hear it.

“On my love for you, I promise.”

A
real-life
angel lay snuggled against my chest. Her bare leg was thrown over my thigh, and one of her hands lay directly over my heart. I wondered if she could feel the contentment spilling out of my pores. This is what it felt like to hold your future. I’d never had that before now.

She sighed, her breath tickling the hair over my sternum. I curled a hand low on her back, and the other I planted firmly on her ass. I couldn’t help tilting my pelvis against her, creating a bit of friction against my cock. Having this girl sprawled over me was the sweetest form of torture. Temptation dressed in white. Only she was barely dressed.

By the time I got ahold of my girl, it was past midnight, and she was three sheets to the wind. I didn’t want to disrupt her grandparents any more than I already had. Hell, I’d had dinner with Sandra and Harold St. James waiting for my little bird to come back to her nest. When it was clear she wasn’t coming home any time soon, I took my leave and paced my loft. I’d warned her grandparents that if it was late when I located her, she might not come home. Her grandfather warned me about his granddaughter being a good girl. Not the kind of woman a man took home for a wild ride, but the kind a man put a ring on.

While holding Amber, I stared at the ceiling and recalled the private little chat I had with her grandfather last night.

“
H
ave a seat
, son.” Harold St. James ushered me into his den after Mrs. St. James had stuffed me full of her self-proclaimed world-class pork chops and peppers. She had not lied. They were by far the best chops I’d had, my own mother’s included. Not that I’d ever admit that to Mom.

I sat stiffly in one of the lounge chairs, legs spread apart, elbows resting on my knees, hands locked together. I’d known it was a risk coming to her house, but after a full day of her ignoring my calls, I was desperate.

The older gentleman sat down in the chair across from me. “Now, you seem like a nice fellow and you are obviously concerned about my granddaughter, which leads me to believe you are smitten with her in a way that makes a man feel things deep. Her absence seems to have rattled you something fierce. So tell me, son, why are you so worried about her not being home? It’s not uncommon for Amber to come home in the wee hours after studying or carrying on with Genevieve next door.”

“Mr. St. James, sir. I’ve already contacted Genevieve. She’s not talked to her all day, and I know she had class. I’ll admit I wronged your granddaughter through my silence. She shared something with me, and I didn’t handle it well. I want to make up for that, which is why I’m here.”

Harold grinned, and one of his eyebrows rose up on his forehead. “Sounds to me like you’re in the ol’ doghouse. Is that right?”

I rubbed a hand through my hair, pushing the loose strands away from my forehead. “Yes, sir. That about sums it up.”

The man chuckled and crossed his legs, resting his ankle on the opposite knee. He steepled his hands and rested his fingertips against his lips. He could have been sitting there solving the world’s problems for all I knew. I, on the other hand? I was stewing in guilt.

Guilt for walking out on Amber.

An arrow of sadness ricocheted through my chest, bouncing off every rib until it pierced my heart. I stood up. I had to find Amber.

The old man’s eyes rose, but he didn’t move otherwise. “Son, Amber is special. She’s not like other girls her age.”

“I know that, sir. That’s why I’m in love with her.”

The man stood, his rounded belly leading the charge. He narrowed his brows and put a hand on my shoulder. “You say you’re in love with my girl, eh?”

I nodded but noticed the intensity in his eyes. He wanted to hear it and do so while looking me dead in the eyes. “Sir, I’m in love with your granddaughter. We’ve only been dating a few weeks, but that doesn’t change how I feel. And I know she feels the same.”

“You think so?”

With a hardened chin lift, I focused my gaze on his steely one. He was going to make me work for it. When it came to Amber, I’d do just about anything. Hell, I’d grovel at this man’s feet if that’s what it took to stay in her good graces.

“I know so. And now, I need to fix what I screwed up.”

Harold tightened his fingers on my shoulder. “You hurt her?”

Hurt was a relative term. “Not physically. I’d never lay a hand to one hair on her head. I swear it.”

He scowled and narrowed his eyes. “What’d you do?”

I swallowed the football-sized lump in my throat. “She shared something private, and frankly, sir, it scared me. So much that I walked away from your granddaughter without staying to hear her out.”

The man nodded and squinted. “You going to do that again?”

I shook my head almost violently. Maybe having my brain bang around in there would knock some sense into me. “Never. Lesson learned. But now, I just want to make things right.”

On that note, he turned around and sat back down in his chair, placing his hands over his burgeoning stomach. I could now attest to the fact that Sandra St. James was an excellent cook, and it was obvious that Harold partook handsomely in the results of that talent.

“All right, son. She told her grandmother earlier that she was going to have drinks with a friend from class.”

A prickly heat started low in my back and crawled over my spine. The green monster inside me unfurled its evil body and wound its way up my chest to claw at my throat. She was with him. Landen. The professor’s son. I hadn’t even met the soon-to-be-doctor yet, and I already despised him. Now that response was one I’d never had with any other women I’d dated. With Amber, everything felt different. Better when I was with her, Hell when I wasn’t. She was my personal double-edged sword.

I took a deep breath and held out my hand. “Sir, thank you for dinner and the chat. I promise from now on, I will treat your granddaughter with the utmost respect that she deserves.”

He nodded. “You better, or you’re gonna have me riding your ass, son.”

Hearing this old-fashioned man curse struck a chord deep inside. He meant business. I had no doubt he’d hunt me down and cut me to size if I so much as spoke ill to his precious granddaughter. Knowing that they’d lost her mother after Amber’s birth meant she was all they had left. Protective didn’t quite cover the intensity of this man’s gaze. It blinded me with a fire so bright it would shake the knees of a lesser man. But I was up for the challenge. Right then and there, I vowed internally that I’d soon make this man proud.

“You have my word.” I held out a hand.

He shook mine, gripping me with firm intent.

Message received.

M
y sleeping angel
shifted her leg, brushing against my erection.
Down boy
. I tried to rationalize with the more carnal side of my anatomy, but with the most beautiful woman sprawled on top of me, my greatest dream incarnate, I didn’t have much hope it would relax any time soon.

Not being able to control myself, I rubbed a hand from her knee up her thigh. Silky smooth. She hummed sleepily against my chest and nuzzled in like a snoozing kitten. I glanced down when I felt a fluttering along my chest. She blinked her green-eyed gaze open, crinkled her nose, and then pressed her lips together. One of her delicate hands came up and pushed against her forehead as her brow furrowed.

“Oh, my, who are the little gremlins dancing around my brain, and why do they have jackhammers?” She groaned and nudged my nipple with her chin. I bit back a groan and fought the desire to rub my lower half against her heat for fear I’d scare off my little bird.

All of a sudden, her entire body went ramrod stiff. Her eyes fluttered open, and she tried to extract herself from my arms. Not happening in a million years. I was not ready for reality to break into my slice of sweet bliss just yet.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I asked.

She swallowed and nudged her chin up, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. “H-How…uh…did I get here?”

I smiled and wrapped my arms around her. “You were drunk. I saved you from the young doctor and brought you home.”

Amber squinted. “This is not my home, and I’m lying half on you, and I think I’m naked.” Her eyes widened and she gasped. “Oh no, did we…”

I tunneled my hand into her hair and held her head, ensuring she looked directly into my eyes when I spoke. “Amber, I’d never take advantage of you. You were in no state for anything more than crashing out. Unfortunately, you spent some time hovering over the porcelain throne prior to face planting on my comforter.”

She frowned. “I got sick. Threw up on my shirt and pants. And you! Oh gross. I’m so sorry, Dash.” Her lip trembled, and she glanced away almost as though she was afraid to make eye contact.

I hiked her up and over me with both arms so that she was lying completely on top of me. She attempted to escape by wiggling out of my hold, but I gripped her with just enough force that she wouldn’t get far.

“Hey, hey, Amber, don’t look away from me.”

Her pretty green eyes focused on mine. “I’m sorry you had to take care of me. Honestly, I never drink like that. It’s just I…”

I cupped her face and caressed the apple of her cheek with my thumb. “Stop. You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one that screwed up. You trusted me with something very private, and I didn’t handle it well. I’m the one that’s sorry.”

She swallowed and her lip shook. “Does it bother you that I’m a virgin?”

I let all the air out of my lungs slowly. “No. I’m rather impressed. Surprised even. I’ve never been with a woman that’s held onto her innocence so long, but it doesn’t bother me.”

Amber smiled and propped her chin on her hands where they rested on my bare chest. “Do you still want to be with me?”

Now that was an easy question to answer. I found it telling, however, that she was worried I wouldn’t want to be with her over it. “Amber, this changes nothing. It means that, when the time is right, I’m going to be given something special. A piece of you that no man has ever had.”

She glanced away and pursed her lips. I could tell there was something she wasn’t saying, but right now was not the time to push it. Her psyche was fragile enough and besides, I had a hot brunette straddling my lap. There were far better things to do than to grill her for more information.

“Listen, when you’re ready to take that next step in our relationship, it will be an honor, a gift that I will cherish.” I focused my gaze so that she could see only the truth clearly showing through my eyes.

Instead of responding, she leaned forward and laid her lips over mine.

Dash understood and didn’t think I was a weirdo for having held onto my virginity this long. I should have known God wouldn’t lead me to a man who wouldn’t see my vow as something special. I flicked my tongue against his mouth wanting to taste him fully. Just because I was a virgin didn’t mean I wasn’t willing to test the boundaries of my chastity. And honestly, I wanted to feel him touch me, take me to places I’d never been before, as long as it didn’t cross the line.

Dash ran his hands down my back, his fingertips tickling my spine as he skimmed over each bump before landing squarely on my panty-clad ass. He lifted his hips up and pressed my ass down, creating the perfect friction against my clit. My, my, it felt so good. Like heaven on earth. I nibbled on his lips and sucked his tongue. He moaned into my mouth, dipping his tongue flat against mine over and over. The man could kiss. He made a meal out of each kiss. A sweet nosh of rubbing lips against one another. Then a main course where he delved his hot tongue deep, repeatedly, until all I could taste was him. When he lacked air, he’d back off and suck the top then the bottom lip as if each bit of flesh was the most decadent of desserts.

Following his lead, I lifted my knees and rubbed my center down against the hard steel between his thighs. He wore only a pair of burgundy boxer briefs that clearly outlined the long shape and width of his male anatomy. I’d never touched or tasted an erect penis before, and in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to wrap my fingers around his length and tug, knowing it would make him lose control. In Dash’s presence, I felt lost to his words, being, and everything in between. Sitting atop him, I had all the cards in my hand and could play whichever I chose.