Ryan's Love (Sawyer Brothers #1) (7 page)

Chapter Fourteen

Amber

Our night together was perfect.

Ryan was perfect.

I hadn’t wanted to ruin our date by bringing up Olivia’s visit, but it still sat heavy on my mind. I was more than positive he understood how much his actions affected her, and I knew I couldn’t hide my meeting with her. I wouldn’t want him to feel as if I was unable to be honest with him

We were sitting in his truck outside the entrance to my apartment. After a long day at the ranch, where we road Storm over the entire property, we called it a night. As he skimmed his thumb over the side of my neck, I closed my eyes and focused solely on the way my body reacted to his touch. He was gentle, and with each passing moment I felt more and more comfortable being near him.

With his arm rested across the back of his truck seat, he turned toward me. My eyes fluttered open, and I found his gaze focused on me, the last thing I wanted to do was ruin this perfect moment. But I had to bring up what happened earlier. We needed to talk about Olivia.

“I need to tell you something,” I said. He stilled his thumb from stroking my skin as our eyes connected. I hesitated briefly before continuing. “Olivia came to see me yesterday.” His face fell, and he shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “She’s upset and said she wanted to see me for herself,” I continued. His jaw ticked, and the last thing I wanted was to anger him, but I felt he needed to know. “I don’t want to be the person causing her sadness, Ryan. It was evident she was upset.”

“I’ll talk to her,” he assured me and turned around to open his driver’s-side door. I watched as he crawled out and walked around the front of the truck before opening the passenger door. He held out his hand and helped me down.

He was silent as he walked me to my door, and just when I thought he was going to kiss me, he pulled me in for a quick hug. His lips brushed over my temple, and then the warmth of his body was gone as he stepped away and forced a smile. “I’ll talk to ya later.”

I stood frozen in the doorway of my apartment as he spun on his heel and charged off toward his truck. He climbed in, and the taillights quickly became the only indication he had been within reach just moments ago.

It had been an amazing, almost perfect day, until now.

***

The next day started out crazy. We were overwhelmed with customers, and to top it off, our oven was going out. I didn’t have time to deal with even more issues than Olivia and her obvious dislike of Ryan and me dating today. My mind was boggled at Ryan’s reaction last night. By the time four o’clock rolled around, Bailey and I were beat. We both collapsed in the stools at the bar, resting our arms against the countertop and heaved out a relieved breath now that the day was finally over.

“So what are we gonna do about tomorrow? We can’t cook goodies without an oven.”

Her statement only reminded me that my day wasn’t over yet. I wanted to curl up in bed and forget about the last twenty-four hours—well, except my time with Ryan at the ranch.

I leaned forward and let my forehead rest against the cool countertop. “I need to call the repair man,” I groaned as I lightly banged my head against the marble.

A knock at the front door brought out an unrecognizable growl from within me. I didn’t even raise my head to see who it was, so I was startled when Bailey started squealing in excitement.

As I spun around in surprise, the stool beneath me began to tip, and I gripped the counter to stabilize it. Instantly my eyes pooled with unshed tears of happiness. “Alena,” I squeaked and ran toward Bailey and my cousin as they stood in the doorway hugging one another.

Alena was a few years younger than me. After she graduated college with a business degree, she took a year off to travel. She’s more like a sister than a cousin, and she, Bailey, and I were inseparable growing up. We got ourselves into a little trouble back in Chicago, I’ll admit. When she decided to travel, I was heartbroken, knowing I would have to go without seeing her for so long. Now here she stood before us, and she was like a breath of fresh air already blowing away the remnants of my horrible day.

Bailey and Alena released their hold on one another just in time to accept me into their little circle.

“Oh my God, what are you doing here?” I asked, squeezing Alena hard. “Not that I’m unhappy to see you, but I wasn’t expecting it.”

“I told you I was flying straight here when my trip was over. A year is a long time to spend without my two favorite people,” she said.

She was right, a year felt like forever.

“But you still had two more weeks,” I replied.

“Yeah, I know.” She shrugged. “I missed my girls, so I cut it a little short.”

We locked the front door before dragging her straight upstairs to our apartment, where we gathered on the couch as she began sharing stories of her travels. She fanned her face when she talked about the guy she met in Rome.

“But let me just clarify something,” she said. “I’ve been in this town for less than an hour, and the men in Montana are some damn sexy specimens. I met this cop because I took a wrong turn, and I’ll tell you what, he had to repeat his directions twice because I lost my mind because of how his lips moved with each word.” She wagged her eyebrows. “I almost took him hostage and drove off to somewhere secluded. I could think of a hundred naughty things to show him.”

When she mentioned a cop, both Bailey and I looked up at one another. A smirk pulled at the corner of her mouth, and I narrowed my eyes at her. “Amber knows a certain cop pretty well. In fact, she could tell you what his lips and hands feel like against hers.”

I threw a couch pillow at her, and it hit her in the side of the head. She fell back against the cushions, laughing.

“Spill it,” Alena insisted.

“We only went out twice. It’s nothing, really.” I waved it off because I truly didn’t want to have to explain. I didn’t know myself exactly what Ryan and I were doing. I knew we liked each other. We had fun and the chemistry was there. I just didn’t know if we would ever be more to each other than just two people having a little fun, enjoying each other’s company.

“It doesn’t feel like it’s nothing,” Alena pushed, and I knew I wasn’t going to get away with not giving her at least a little detail.

“His name is Ryan.” I pause for only a few seconds. “He lost his wife a few years ago and hasn’t really dated since then. He has a teenage daughter, and she’s having a hard time accepting that her father is dating.” I shrugged. “So right now, things are a little unexplainable. I don’t know what we are or if it will even go anywhere. But he’s really sweet, and I enjoy our time together.”

“He’s not just a cop, he is a sergeant,” Bailey jumped in. “He is ‘drop to your knees and pant from being overheated with lust’ gorgeous. Amazing eyes, amazing body, and those hands…mmm.” She shivered to accentuate her statement. “He is so yummy.”

I watched her with a smile, because this was the first time she’d described Ryan that way. I knew she thought he was attractive, but her giving these details surprised me. Her gaze shifted to mine, and she held her hands out to her sides and laughed. “What? So I pay attention to detail.”

Alena and I laughed.

“God, I need to get laid,” Bailey breathed out and flopped back against the cushions. Alena and I tried to hide our laughter, but it was pointless.

Due to Alena’s arrival, we decided a night out was in order. Especially because Bailey and I had been so busy getting things together for the bakery, we hadn’t taken the time to get out and enjoy ourselves. So after I called the repairman and was told he would be here first thing in the morning, we all got ready for a girls’ night. I hadn’t heard from Ryan since last night when he dropped me off. I was trying my hardest not to let that bother me, so some distraction would be perfect.

After dinner at a rib shack just down the road from our apartment, we found the nearest bar and began playing Shots or Dare.

“I dare you to walk over to the bar and kiss that man in the red shirt,” Alena said to Bailey. We’d all had more than enough shots and were feeling a little more adventurous than when we first arrived. No, we weren’t drunk, but we all were definitely feeling the buzz.

Bailey and Alena always tried to outdo each other in everything, including picking up men.

I bit my lip to control my laughter as Bailey stood up and squared her shoulders. She wasn’t about to back down. “I’ll be right back, girls.” She winked at us before stalking toward the bar.

We watched as she tapped the guy on his shoulder and he turned to face her. His eyes lit up at the sight of her, and my jaw fell open. It was Jackson, Ryan’s youngest brother.

Before I could stop her, she placed her hand around the back of his neck and pulled him against her. Their mouths collided, and Jackson stood from the stool and pinned her against the bar, curling his hands around the edges on each side of her.

Whistling and a few catcalls rang out around them. The way the two of them were devouring one another made me feel like I was watching soft-core porn, especially when Jackson pinned Bailey against the side of the bar with his pelvis pressed firmly against hers.

When they finally pulled apart, they were breathless and their gazes were glued on one another. Bailey finally whispered something to him just before placing her hands on his chest and pushing back, creating space between them. He watched her as she walked back to us, a wide smile still gracing her lips. Jackson’s gaze locked on to mine, and his grin widened even further.

Bailey attempted to gracefully place herself back into her chair but failed miserably. She was a little off-center after that heated kiss. “Oh holy hell,” she said breathlessly. “I can’t slow down my heart.”

“I’m pretty sure he can’t, either.” Alena replied. “That was hot. Like the ‘drop to your knees and pant from being overheated with lust’ kind of hot.’”

“You do know that guy is Ryan’s brother, right?” I told her, and her eyes grew wide.

She spun around and looked back at him. He still had the biggest grin as he sipped his beer and tapped away on his phone.

Laughter spilled from both Alena and me as she stared at him in awe. I was sure at that moment they weren’t finished after just one kiss.

Chapter Fifteen

Ryan

Jackson: I’m at Roger’s Bar and guess who else is here?

I stared at the pictures attached to my brother’s text message. Amber was at a table with Bailey and another girl I’d never seen before. They were obviously out enjoying a girls’ night. Shot glasses and beer bottles sat scattered across the tabletop in front of them. Amber was laughing and hunched forward just slightly. It made me feel a little better that Jackson was there to keep an eye on them.

I was still a little down from the interaction I had with Liv last night. I came home late after Amber told me about Olivia’s visit, my mind racing with thoughts of what my little girl must be feeling. She was obviously hurting and I had to fix this. The idea of her being sad made it difficult to breathe.

Apparently I arrived a little earlier than my daughter expected me to, because I found her making out with Charlie on my couch.

Keeping my cool was not in the cards.

I gripped the back of Charlie’s shirt and tossed his ass out my front door. I warned him off, saying if I ever caught him with his tongue shoved down my daughter’s throat again, he would most likely have a difficult time eating solid foods, because I would knock out every tooth in his mouth.

Of course Olivia started yelling that she hated me. She told me if I was dating, why couldn’t she? When she slipped up and told me I was being an asshole, I lost the last ounce of control I had left. I may have gone a little overboard, but she was only acting this way to get back at me. She was rebelling, and I was torn with how to handle it. Finally, my temper won out over being understanding.

I called my mother and told her she needed to come get her granddaughter before I beat her ass. Olivia scowled at the thought of me bending her over my knee, ran off to her room, and slammed her door behind her. She had a bag packed and was waiting on the front porch when my parents pulled up.

I sat on the couch just inside, my head in my hands. I didn’t know what the hell to do next.

“Son,” my father said as he entered the front door. I didn’t look up, even when the couch dipped next to me.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore,” I confessed. “She hates me, but I can’t be alone anymore. I’m miserable, Dad.”

My father rested his hand on my shoulder and gave me a squeeze. “She just needs time.”

“We never fight. We’ve always talked things out. Olivia and I have been so close over the last three years—hell, even before that.” I took in a deep breath. “I thought I did things right. I talked to her before I even took Amber out that first night. I wanted her to know I’d always love Claire. That no matter where my future led me, her momma would always be in my heart.” I sat on the couch next to him and cried like a baby.

I felt the burn in my chest as I remembered how I felt the moment my father entered my home last night. The entire night rushed back as I looked down at the picture my brother had forwarded.

My phone vibrated once again, and I read the next message.

Jackson: Looks like someone is moving in on your girl.

Another picture was attached, showing Booker and another rival of mine Eric sitting at the table in Roger’s Bar with the girls. I tightened my grip on my phone. Eric had tried more than once to come between Claire and me. Seeing him so close to Amber only fueled my already unstable mood. I sent a text back.

Me: Come get me. I’ve been drinking.

No way did I belong behind the wheel.

My phone vibrated, but this time Jackson was calling me.

“You on your way?” I didn’t even bother saying hello.

“Nope, I walked to the bar from my loft. I got here a couple hours ago,” he said. “Drinking too. Call Noah and have him come to get ya.”

“He’s on duty.”

“Well then, he’ll be sober. You can stay in town tonight at my loft,” he offered.

Jackson knew where things were with Olivia right now. He understood my struggle. It hurt like a bitch fighting with my little girl. My stomach was in knots knowing we were so far apart right now, emotionally.

I hung up with Jackson and called Noah. I didn’t give him the chance to deny me a ride; he owed me. I had saved him on more than one occasion, and he knew one day he would need me again, so he better just do as I asked.

The moment his headlights came into view, I was jogging down my driveway to meet him. I quickly crawled inside and slammed the car door.

“Have you talked to Olivia yet?” he asked as we drove toward town.

I shook my head and continued to stare forward. I had tried to call her twice today, but both times my mom told me she was wasn’t ready to talk.

“She’ll come around, Ry. She’s just a kid, and she just needs a little time,” he assured me as we pulled into the parking lot of Roger’s Pub.

I knew he was right, but I didn’t like waiting. Which reminded me, I didn’t like competing either.

I was a man on a mission as I slammed the door to the cruiser and walked toward the front entrance of Roger’s. I tilted my head in Jackson’s direction as I walked by, offering him a quick nod before I sought Amber out. My gaze landed on the gorgeous, brown-haired beauty with big, brown eyes. She hadn’t seen me approaching, but the girl I hadn’t yet had the chance to meet looked up just before I stopped at the edge of the table.

“And you must be Ryan,” she said with a grin.

The fact she knew me already made my stomach tense with excitement. It meant Amber had told her about me. I shifted my gaze to the girl that had my insides all tangled up. “Hey, beautiful,” I said as I leaned over and placed my lips against hers. Her surprised intake of breath only made my heart beat faster. “Dance with me,” I whispered before taking her hand, lifting upward, and leading her toward the dance floor, not giving her the chance to turn me down. I caught the irritated look on Eric’s face when I spun her around in front of me and pulled her in tightly against my chest. The sweet scent of her body engulfed me as I buried my face against the side of her neck.

“I thought you were mad at me,” she confessed with her face tucked against my chest.

I pulled back and looked down at her. She worried her lip between her teeth, and I hated how seeing that made me feel. I was torn between what my body wanted and all the emotions running through my mind.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I dipped my head and placed my lips against hers. She fisted her hands in my shirt, trying to pull me in even tighter. There was no room left between us, yet I felt like I needed to be closer.

We swayed from side to side in time with the music as we continued to kiss and taste the sweetness of each other. My heart was racing, and the excitement of the moment was making my jeans feel a little tighter than they were when I arrived.

“You didn’t do anything for me to be mad about,” I assured her before placing another soft kiss against her lips. “You’re just trapped in the middle of something me and my daughter need to work out.”

“I don’t want to be in the middle. I don’t want to cause problems for the two of you.” Her words made me grip her tighter. I didn’t want to give her the chance to back away from me.

I don’t know if it was the alcohol talking or if it was the alcohol that was helping me lower the walls and allow my true feelings to come out, but I needed her close. “I want this, Amber.” I placed my forehead against her and just went for it. “I’ve felt so alone the last three years. I’ve floated through life and thought there wasn’t a chance I could ever be happy again. Then you showed up here, and for the first time in so long, I feel like I got a part of me back. A part I thought I lost forever.”

My throat burned, and I could feel the urge to give in to my emotions. I closed my eyes tightly, fighting them off. The burn in my throat made it almost impossible to swallow.

“I can’t be your void filler, Ryan,” she whispered.

I opened my eyes and stared back at her worried expression. “I really like you.” She smiled “I think about you all the time, even when I shouldn’t.” Her face reddened, and she bit on her lower lip, doing the worried kneading once more. “I just need to know you’re fully ready to move forward. I’m not oblivious to the fact you will always love Claire. I know that, and that’s one of the reasons I think you’re such an amazing man. You love with your entire heart.”

Tears filled her eyes, and my stomach tightened.

Amber looked down at her hands as she played with the neckline of my shirt. “I just don’t want to let myself feel more for you and then find out I was just a practice run, something that helped you get over that hump before you really started living again.” Her shyness set in as she stared at her hands on my chest.

“Seeing you around town would be slightly torturous if I wasn’t able to touch you.” She was attempting to break the tension that had set in between us.

I lifted her chin with my fingertips and took her mouth once more. I wasn’t the only one with fears, and I hadn’t even stopped obsessing over my own thoughts long enough to realize Amber had concerns of her own.

Kissing her calmed me, and I hoped it would have the same effect on her. When I felt her relax in my arms, I took the opportunity to just hold her close. The stress I felt over Olivia and the last twenty-four hours gave way, allowing me the chance to breathe.

“I promise you I would never use you or string you along. I wouldn’t intentionally hurt you,” I whispered against her ear while continuing to move my hips against hers.

Over the past few weeks, Amber had really changed my life without even meaning to. I had tried to remain neutral, not allowing myself to feel anything too heavy too fast. But I failed miserably, because I had found myself on more than one occasion imagining what my life would be like with her in it every day, wondering what it would feel like to come home to find her and Olivia waiting for me daily.

And those visions were more beautiful each time I thought of them.