RUTHLESS HOLD (A Back Down Devil MC Romance Novel) (27 page)

“
You
tell me,
”
Eden said.

They weren
’
t best friends. They weren
’
t sisters. But they were getting closer.

“
It
’
s a tough life,
”
Jessa said.
“
I saw a whole other side of it
with Blaine years ago. This is a decent life though. They all care. They all
try. They
’
re willing to die
for each other. That
’
s
pretty special.
”

“
I
know all that,
”
Eden said.
“
There
’
s just stuff going on inside the club. It
’
s scary.
”

“
Just
look at Caine. He breaks my heart already. Looks too much like Blaine.
”

“
I
think he looks like you,
”
Eden said.

“
Good.
If he ends up anything like his father
…”

Eden laughed.
“
What about Trev? Is he
…”

“
He
’
s a fighter. I
’
ve never seen him with a woman
before. So anything he says to you, it has to be real. Just know that. I can
tell you that things will sometimes seem like they
’
re getting worse, but they
’
re not. I trust all of them with my life. With my
son
’
s life.
”

Caine let out a whine and pulled
himself to his feet.

“
Does
that mean he
’
s done?
”
Eden asked.

“
Give
it a few seconds and you
’
ll
know.
”

Eden wasn
’
t sure what that meant but then she caught wind of
the smell.

She was going to ask Jessa if she
could change Caine but the apartment door opened.

Trev came in and froze.
“
Whoa. What smells?
”

“
Blaine
’
s kid,
”
Jessa said.

“
Ah,
I thought it was familiar,
”
Trev said with a grin. He walked to the playpen and picked up Caine. It sent a
surge of love through Eden
’
s
heart.
“
Hey little Blaine.
You shit yourself? Just like your Daddy. And let me guess
…
you want someone to clean you
up and then you
’
re going to
want to suck on a boob for a little bit.
”

“
Definitely
just like his father,
”
Jessa said.

Trev held Caine and looked at Eden.
“
Hey, beautiful. We need to
be alone for a minute. I have to talk to you.
”

“
I
’
m leaving,
”
Jessa said.
“
I have his stuff in the
clubhouse.
”

“
Wait
up,
”
Trev said. He went to
the door and opened it.
“
You
two shitheads. Get in here. Carry Jessa
’
s
stuff to the clubhouse. Don
’
t
look at her. Don
’
t talk to
her. Do everything she says. Got it?
”

“
Yes,
sir,
”
one of the prospects
said.

“
They
know how to change a poopy diaper?
”

“
You
tell them and they
’
ll
figure it out,
”
Trev said.
He touched Jessa
’
s
shoulder.
“
Go take care of
the little kid.
”

“
See
you later, Eden,
”
Jessa
said.

“
Thanks
for talking,
”
Eden said.

Trev shut the door again.
“
Okay. We
’
re alone.
”

“
You
want to jump me right here on the table?
”
Eden asked.

“
Oh,
beautiful, I would love nothing more than that.
”
Trev closed in on her.
“
But
I have to talk to you.
”

“
What
’
s wrong? Something happened?
”

Trev nodded.
“
You need to stay calm and let
everyone work this shit out. Your mother is here.
”

Eden felt her heart sink.
“
What?
”

“
She
’
s here. She came down here
looking for you. I talked to her for a few minutes and she told me everything I
needed to hear. She and Griffin had a deal worked out. Griffin had written that
letter a long time ago. When he died, she was to send it to you. To keep you
protected. You didn
’
t come
to the MC right away and someone came after you. That
’
s what they were keeping from happening.
”

“
Who
would hurt me?
”
Eden asked.

“
I
don
’
t know. But what
happened
…”

“
I
need to see her.
”

Eden lunged forward and Trev
grabbed her. He stopped her and held her.
“
Hey.
She
’
s right outside the
door. I
’
m going to stay
outside and let you two talk. But you can
’
t
get scared.
”

“
Why
would I get scared?
”
Eden
asked.

“
Beautiful,
she didn
’
t come down here
without cause,
”
Trev said.

“
What
the hell does that mean? Can
’
t
you just tell me something, Trev?
”

“
Fine.
Ripper used her as a punching bag. He found out she sent the letter to you and
then flipped his lid. Okay?
”

Eden covered her mouth.
“
Oh
…”

“
But
it
’
s not that bad. We
cleaned her up. She could use a change of clothes though. And you two need to
talk. I
’
m going to ask just
because I love you
…
are you
okay with this?
”

Eden dropped her hands and her jaw.
“
You just said
…
you love me?
”

Trev gritted his teeth.
“
Of course I do, Eden. I love
you. Okay? We
’
re going to
get through all of this together.
”

Trev pulled away and walked to the
door.

“
Trev,
”
Eden said.

He looked back.
“
Yeah?
”

“
I
love you too
…
I swear on it.
”

*

“
Come
on, stop crying.
”
Jenn
handed Eden a tissue.
“
You
’
re making me feel bad here. I
don
’
t like feeling like
this as it is.
”

“
Has
it happened before?
”
Eden
asked.

“
That
’
s what you want to ask me? All
the years gone between us and you
’
re
worried about my face?
”

“
I
’
m worried about you,
”
Eden said.
“
How to make sense of this. You
ignored me. You just
…
what
the fuck were you thinking?
”

Jenn nodded. She sucked on a
cigarette.
“
Good. Get it
all out. Ask everything. Slap me.
”

“
Someone
beat me to it,
”
Eden said.
She jumped up and walked to the sink. She poured a glass of water, drank it,
and felt like she could throw up.

“
The
answer is no, it
’
s not the
first time,
”
Jenn said.
“
But it
’
s the last time. He
’
ll
never touch me again.
”

Eden turned and leaned against the
sink.
“
So why now?
”

“
Because
of you. I want to be alive to talk to you. To tell you the truth. To see you as
a woman.
”

“
You
gave all that up.
”

“
I
had no choice.
”

“
You
had a choice.
”

“
If
Ripper is okay with taking swings at me
…
what kind of life
…”

“
Yeah,
right,
”
Eden said.
“
I know. What about my father?
”

Jenn grinned. Her eyes lit up.

That
’
s
when Eden knew what her mother and father had was real.

“
He
was amazing. So different. Still ruthless when he needed to be, but so gentle
when it came to me. I never had a man treat me like him.
”

“
So
what happened?
”

“
The
club. The cut. The patches. Whatever you want to blame it on. Your father was
helping Ripper with some deals. I guess things down here weren
’
t so hot and he gave up his
patches. He was running outlaw. Do you know what that means?
”

“
Sort
of.
”

“
Okay.
He was bouncing back and forth between
The Lost Men
and the charter up
north. He and I
…
oh, Eden.
He saw what Ripper did to me once. He got into a fight with Ripper and knocked
him clean out. Griffin had to take off then. The club was going to kill him.
Shit calmed and he and Ripper worked their shit out. He came back and I wanted
to thank him for hitting Ripper.
”

“
Thank
him?
”
Eden asked.

“
I
rode him until there was nothing left to come out,
”
Jenn said.

“
Gross.
”

“
Sorry,
Eden. You asked. It
’
s the
truth. We fell instantly in love. He started to come around because of me. He
was my saving grace. I knew it could never go anywhere. Well
…
Griffin had a plan. Ripper had
been talking to some bad guys about stuff. Griffin sort of pushed the plan,
hoping Ripper would get killed or thrown out of the club. Then I got pregnant.
”

“
So
I screwed everything up?
”

“
No,
sweetie,
”
Jenn said.
“
It
’
s
not your fault. Nothing is your fault. Griffin and I knew the risk. Soon as I
got pregnant, I knew what I had to do. I told Ripper and he wanted me to
…
you know.
”

“
No,
”
Eden said.
“
He really said that?
”

“
Yeah.
”

“
Why
didn
’
t you?
”

“
Look
at you,
”
Jenn said.
“
I had an image of you from the
day I found out I was pregnant. And here you are. More beautiful than I
imagined. Why would I keep that from the world?
”

Eden felt her throat tighten.
“
Thank you.
”

“
So
I had to make a deal with Ripper. He asked Griffin to watch over me. He wanted
nothing to do with a fat chick. His words, not mine. So I had to let him fuck
anything he wanted, which wasn
’
t
out of the ordinary. He trusted Griffin a lot. But it left me with the closest
thing I ever had to a family. Griffin took care of me, took care of you. He
arranged for everything. Then he made me a promise, Eden.
”

Jenn put out her cigarette and
stood up. Eden stared at her birth mother, realizing they shared some features.
It was a hard thing to look at. To accept. Eden always wondered what her life
would have been like if she hadn
’
t
been given up for adoption.

“
What
was the promise?
”
Eden
asked.

“
Simple.
He said that he would make sure you were protected. Nobody would ever know how
and nobody would ever know the truth. But when he said that, I believed him. It
comforted me, okay? He said he would take care of everything. Which he did.
”

“
So
what happened when I was born?
”

“
Well,
I had been knocked out. Not by Ripper, by the doctors.
”
Jenn smiled.
“
I
woke up and you were gone. The first thing I did was touch my belly and it was
gone. You were gone. That
’
s
when it really all hit me. I started to cry. I looked to the door and had this
vision. Me getting out of the bed and going to find you. Picking you up and
hugging you tight. Then I run off. Just you and me.
”