Russell's Return (5 page)

“Oh Miss Zane, it’s a long and boring
story.”

“We aren’t parent and counselor here.
It’s just Emily now.”

He nodded his agreement. “Then it’s just
Russell too.”

She smiled. “Well Russell, let me be the
judge of whether your story is boring or not. You’d be surprised at what I find
utterly fascinating.” That smile again, only more teasing this time.

His heartbeat stuttered. He thought he
understood the hidden meaning behind Emily’s words, it was written all over her
face.  She was actually flirting with him.  But then again, maybe she
wasn’t. He really could be wrong.  It had been so long since he had any
social contact with a woman, he just didn’t know anymore. If it turned out she
hadn’t been flirting with him he was going to feel really stupid.  Sheesh,
he was enjoying this way too much. And he definitely shouldn’t be.

“So you really want to hear my story?”
he asked unbelieving.

“Yes, I do. I find this all very
interesting.  Maybe because I have my own special reasons for moving home,
I want to compare notes.”

“Why don’t you tell me
your
story
then,” he hinted.

She laughed. “Not a chance. 
Besides, I asked you first.  Maybe someday when you want to hear something
short and tragic, I’ll tell you my story.”

He looked at her curiously but didn’t
push, he sensed she wasn’t really in the mood to talk about herself right now.
“Okay,” he sighed, resigned to his fate. At least he might get to see her again
soon so she could tell him her story.  “Well, as I told you before, my
wife - my ex-wife - took off two years ago.  She left without a word. She
was gone for six months before I got a post card saying she just couldn’t deal
with Miranda anymore.”

Emily gasped. “It took her six months to
let you know why she
left?
Wow!” Emily was
incredulous. “How awful for both of you. Does she ever see Miranda?” It was
whispered like she was afraid of hearing the answer.

“She has absolutely no contact with our
daughter. Her choice,” he emphasized. “Anyway, I was busy running my
corporation, the one that owns the three restaurants I told you about earlier,
and trying to be a single father to a ‘difficult’ child.” He used air quotes to
emphasize the hated words. “Doctor’s term, not mine,” he made sure to stress.

“How on earth did you manage it all?”
She was interested enough to interrupt.

“It wasn’t easy. At least trying to
manage it wasn’t easy.  I never did master it. I started having to turn a
lot of my work duties over to others so I could be there for her.”

“She must have liked that. Did it help
her cope any better?” Emily was professionally curious so she leaned forward in
her chair.

“No, it didn’t help,” he sighed. “I loved
the idea of spending more time with my daughter, but it was getting harder to
deal with her. The older she got, the worse things got.” Russell paused seeming
to think on what he wanted to say next. “I was literally at my wits end. I
dreaded
going
home, I hated
being
home. I just wanted to scream
and that’s just what I did - at Miranda - way too often.” He seemed embarrassed
by his admission.

“I can tell by your voice that you hated
yourself for doing it though.” Emily gave him a gentle comforting smile. “What
made you realize that maybe you were in over your head, or was it the
realization that you were yelling so much that did it?” she asked gently.

“Someone I respect very much helped me
realize I was in too deep when they heard me lose my temper with Miranda.”
Russell smiled and had a faraway look on his face as if remembering. “I was
talking on the phone with my mom one day and I went off on Miranda. But instead
of getting mad at me, my very patient, saint of a mother suggested that we move
here so she could help me, you know, give me a break once in a while.”

“And I bet I know what you said to
that,” she smiled.

He laughed, “And you’d be right. At
first I absolutely refused. It grossed me out,” he joked using words that
Miranda favored to describe something she hated. “But really, seriously, I
couldn’t stand the thought of coming back here. And I felt like a failure. I
couldn’t handle one small child when single fathers do great things all the
time.” He sighed. “But then, after some alone time and some soul searching, I
realized I was being selfish and decided to move back here for Miranda’s sake.”

“I think you are one of the most
unselfish people I’ve ever met.  Most people would just have hired a nanny
for the kid or pawned her completely off on a relative.”

Russell was looking down at his plate.
“I couldn’t have done that.” His gaze shifted to the window.

“What do you mean? Why not?” There was
more to what he was saying and Emily really wanted to know what it was. She
encouragingly put her warm hand over his cold one. His heartbeat stuttered
again at her touch and his whole body grew warm. And there was that brief sense
of doom again.

“I guess I just feel that Miranda’s
behavior is somehow all my fault and I can’t pawn my own creation off on
someone else.”

“It’s not your fault, Russell,” she said
quietly. “From what you’ve said, it sounds like Miranda has always been this
way.  There has got to be something else behind it.  You need to keep
digging and searching until you find a reason, or a therapy, that works for
her. There are a lot of new things out there for working with troubled kids
Miranda’s age.”

“We’ve tried so many already.” Russell
was clenching his fists and Emily knew a very frustrated man when she saw one.

“You just need to keep trying till
something finally fits,” she said matter-of-factly as she sat back in her chair
with a thud. She had an idea, but still needed to do a bit of research before
she got his hopes up.

Russell couldn’t help but smile. Except
for those underlying glimpses of sadness, Emily seemed like she tried hard to
always be a positive person and it was rubbing off on him. Or at least he hoped
it was.  He had been in a negative place for so long that he was actually
craving some positive emotion for once.  The question was, could he keep
it up until his perspective could change. Sometimes he thought he was just too
worn out.

“Could I get you some more pie or
coffee?” Emily asked.

Russell looked at his watch and wiped a
strong hand across the back of his neck.  “No, I’d best be going. Ma and
Miranda will think I got lost. Thanks for the food and company though. It isn’t
often I get to talk to people my own age, outside of work.” In that split
second Russell realized he’d been lonely and that worried him.  Loneliness
could get you into big trouble. You might do things to cure that loneliness
that just weren’t good for you at the time.

Russell looked up, into her hypnotizing
eyes and then down at her beautiful lips. He felt an almost unbearable urge to
kiss her. “Uh yeah, I’d better go,” he murmured, jumping up from his chair to
head to the living room. He couldn’t kiss her now. He couldn’t be involved with
anyone.  He couldn’t kiss her,
ever
.

Emily followed him to the door. “Tell
your mom I’ll bring her tin back as soon as I can.”

“Will do,” he said abruptly as he
stepped out the door.

“Good night,” she called from her porch.

Russell stopped and turned back. In two
quick strides, he was standing in front of her, his hands on her shoulders. He
leaned in and she pulled his head down so that their lips met in a gentle kiss.
It wasn’t quite enough for either of them and they deepened it until he pulled
away, breathing hard. “I’m sorry,” he stated loud and clear.

“It’s okay Russell,” she whispered.

“I swear you hypnotize me, woman,” he
mumbled into the night as he walked away.

His last vision of Emily was one of her
lightly rubbing her lips with her delicate fingers, against the backdrop of the
little blue house and the rolling valley behind her. A vision that would haunt
him throughout the night. “And I can’t help but love it,” he whispered after he
was far enough away that she couldn’t hear. “But it’s so wrong.”

CHAPTER
3

Labor Day Monday dawned sunny and warm
in Harper’s Rock. A huge difference from Friday when a surprise early season
snowstorm had hit town. Now the snow was gone, and it was supposed to reach
seventy-eight degrees by four o’clock, making it the perfect day for the
town’s
annual Labor Day Picnic and Carnival. Not that
Russell really wanted to go, but he promised his mother that he would let her
work for him and take Miranda to socialize. His daughter was doing great in
school, not quite on par with other kids, but her tantrums and fits of
frustration were way down. So they were going to the festivities as a reward.
Russell really wasn’t looking forward to it, but surprisingly, it was something
that Miranda wanted to do, so he would manage.

Russell’s brothers would also be there.
Logan, the stable, dependable grocery store owner and Dylan, the wild and crazy
wilderness guide with a girl in every port - or in his case - in every small
Wyoming town. At least with them around, he wouldn’t have to make too much
small talk with people he didn’t really know anymore. It seemed his mother was
also concerned about his lack of a social life. Almost daily she reminded him
that he would be happier if he went out and rekindled some of his old
friendships. But that wasn’t an option for him yet; he wasn’t quite ready for
other people to become involved in his life. He was way too focused on Miranda
at this point. And now it was time to wake her up so they could get ready to
leave. There was only an hour until the start of the event.

“Hey sweet baby, time to wake up! We
have a picnic to go to.” Russell gently shook his daughter’s shoulder and she
sat right up in bed. That surprised him so much he jumped back.  Miranda
was the hardest person in the world to wake up, except for today apparently.

“Yay! I can’t wait, Daddy.  Uncle
Logan said he would bring me some donuts and Uncle Dylan said he was going to
bring his doggie Rizzy so I could play with her.”

“Well then you should probably get up
and get ready so we can go.” He kissed her forehead and stood up to leave.

“Hey Daddy?” she asked so quietly that
he almost didn’t hear her.

“Yeah?” The pitch of her voice told him
that somehow this wasn’t going to be pleasant.

“Is Miss Emily going to be there? Can we
share our picnic with her?  I really like her.  She’s pretty don’t
you think?”  And then she went quiet with breathlessness.

Russell snapped his mouth shut. He’d
been standing there with it open since Miranda first muttered Emily’s name. He
couldn’t have his daughter knowing how much her questions affected him. That
feeling of excitement and dread all wrapped together made his mind race, and he
had no idea what to say. But then his survival instinct quickly kicked in and
he dove in head first. “Um, well, sweetie, I’m not sure if Miss Emily will be
there or not, and if she is, I’m sure she’ll be with her family.  She’ll
probably have her own picnic stuff so I don’t think she’ll need to share with
us.”  He tousled her hair and started to walk out of the room again, not
letting on that he had gone breathless too because he’d said everything nervously
in one breath.

“Daddy! You didn’t tell me if you think
she’s pretty.” Miranda looked expectantly at her father.

Russell had hoped she wouldn’t remember
that she’d asked that question. But of course, now that she had, he needed to
come up with an answer. “I...I guess she’s pretty, sweetie. But no one is as
pretty as you.  Now get ready or we’re going to be late.” This time he
made it out the door without any more awkward questions.

Russell hadn’t even thought about Emily
Zane being at the picnic.  But he knew just about everyone in town came
out to celebrate on Labor Day so she would most likely be there, a complication
he didn’t want to think about. Their kiss had been a huge mistake, one that
could never, ever be repeated. First because he really didn’t want to
complicate Miranda’s life any more than it already was, and second because he
didn’t want his heart broken ever again. And he knew sharing more sweet kisses
with Emily Zane would lead straight to heartbreak hell.

Town Center Park, literally in the
center of town, was the pride and joy of Harper’s Rock. There was something for
everyone. Wide-open grassy spaces for the sports enthusiasts, hiking trails
that wound through over a mile of wooded area, and a small fish pond for
weekend fishermen. Of course it also had your regular park attractions like
four picnic/barbecue areas and two playgrounds for the kids. Russell and
Miranda meandered along the beautifully groomed stone paths, past the pond, to
the place where they planned to meet Dylan and Logan.

The beautiful old park actually did hold
some good, well actually some great, memories for Russell. Childhood games,
carnivals and picnics - all stuff that happened before he started to feel stifled
by the small town that bore his family’s name. Some of Russell’s fondest
memories here were of the days he and his brothers spent climbing on the big,
old rock that his great-great grandfather had camped by a hundred years ago.

Almost from the beginning everyone
called the old flat slab ‘Harper’s Rock’ because the crazy old man wouldn’t let
anyone else near it.  He washed and dried his clothes on it, ground his
spices and coffee on it and even sharpened his knives on it. Every sunny day
his neighbors in the settlement would see him climb up and sit, basking in the
sun.

Slowly but surely as the settlement
grew, Josiah Harper became its most famous resident because of his
eccentricities. And soon, his rock became the number one landmark to identify
the area. A town was born - named Harper’s Rock - after
its
most famous resident and his main obsession.  Despite Josiah’s strange
ways, he led the town for more than twenty years.

The modern day park had been built
around the rock sometime in the early sixties after numerous complaints to the
town council about the lack of places to have family fun. And over the years,
it had grown into the entertainment hub it was today. If there was ever a
town-wide celebration, this was the place where it is held. And more kids than
a person can count celebrate one birthday or another at Town Center Park.

By 10 AM neither Harper brother had
appeared yet. A few minutes later Russell’s cell phone rang giving him a very
bad feeling. For good reason too. Unfortunately Logan wouldn’t be coming
because a friend had an emergency to deal with and he wanted to help. The ever
responsible and diligent Logan was always there to lend a helping hand. The
middle Harper brother said he’d send someone down to the park with some donuts
for Miranda as soon as he could.

Russell physically and emotionally
braced himself for fireworks from his daughter but thankfully none came.
 Of course, she was disappointed, but she handled it so much better than
usual.

“Well kiddo, we might as well get set
up, and hopefully Uncle Dylan will get here soon.” From 10 to 11 o’clock,
everyone socialized and set up their picnic spaces, and then lunch was enjoyed
from 11 to 12:30.  The real festivities began at 12:45 p.m., with a
carnival and a series of outdoor concerts and entertainment.

Russell and Miranda spread out their
picnic blanket on the thick green carpet of grass and put their basket of food
in the middle. They sat down to wait. Miranda read as usual and Russell texted
the manager of one of his restaurants. Without modern technology, running the
corporation from afar would be virtually impossible.

An occasional old neighbor or friend
stopped by to welcome Russell back to town and meet Miranda. He almost got a
warm and fuzzy, down-home feeling about it all. Almost was the key word though.
One sure thing could be said about the citizens of Harper’s Rock - they
absolutely knew how to make people feel welcome. Russell didn’t have time to
dwell on the unusual feeling though because a special delivery of donuts soon
arrived from
Harper’s Grocery and
Pharmacy
.

A couple of donut holes and some good
conversation later, it was going on 11 o’clock and Russell was starting to
worry about his youngest brother. He wasn’t worried that he was hurt or
anything like that, but that he was standing them up for some girl. It was time
to try to call him.  And as usual, Dylan and his attitude picked up on the
second ring. “Hey big brother. Why are you bothering me?”

“Where the hell are you Dylan?
 We’re waiting for you at the park.” He didn’t hide his irritation for his
brother’s seeming nonchalance about his promise to be at the park, for
Miranda’s sake. He was in no mood for his younger brother’s usual games. 

“Believe it or not, I’m stuck in traffic
here on I-90.  There was a pretty bad accident up ahead.” Russell could
hear horns and sirens in the background. “I’m not sure when I’ll be there,
bro.  Tell Miranda I’ll bring Rizzy over for her to play with sometime
next week if I don’t make it to the park today.”

“Alright, just drive safe.”  It
figured he’d had to call Dylan, his youngest brother wasn’t the most
considerate person on earth.  If he hadn’t called him, they probably
wouldn’t have known what was going on until he showed up - or not - hours
later. Russell couldn’t help but wonder why he’d had been on I-90 as it was
quite a way out of town. He’d probably been visiting the girl of the moment in
another town.

“Miranda sweetie, I don’t know when
Uncle Dylan is going to make it. He said he’d bring the puppy by next week so
you could play with her.” He braced himself for the tantrum that was sure to
come this time.

“Okay Daddy, I guess I can wait. At
least I got my donuts even if I don’t get to eat them with Uncle Logan.” She
smiled at him and went back to reading the book she always carried with her.

Russell was so taken aback by Miranda’s
calm behavior that he didn’t hear delicate footsteps approaching until they
were right next to him and he heard
the
voice calling his daughter’s
name. His heart started racing, a million emotions flashed through his mind and
that ever annoying sense of doom was there too, albeit briefly. Emily Zane had
indeed shown up for the picnic.  Russell hadn’t seen her since their kiss
over a week ago, but she didn’t look like she was holding it against him now.
He felt oddly relieved even though he shouldn’t care less. Their delicious,
passionate kiss was a mistake never to be repeated.

“Hello Miranda, how are you
today?”  Miranda dropped her book and hurried to give her school counselor
a hug. Emily returned it. “Hello Russell.”

“Emily,” he nodded his greeting to her.
He wasn’t sure what else to do, he felt like a school kid whose crush had just
found out he liked her. But that couldn’t be right because he didn’t
like
her, he’d just been momentarily physically attracted to her.  Russell
Harper wasn’t capable of liking or even loving anyone right now.  His
daughter was his life and there was no room in it for anyone else.

“Miss Emily, can you have a picnic with
us, please?” Miranda looked adoringly up at her new favorite person.

“I’m here with my mom, sweetheart. We
have our own picnic, but I think we’ll be setting up real close to you, right
over there.” She pointed not two feet away. “I bet after lunch you could come
over to my spot and have some of my mom’s famous chocolate chip cookies with
me.”
 

“I guess I could do that,” was her quiet
response. No tantrum though, so all was well.  Miranda skipped back over
to her spot on their blanket and picked up her book again.

“She seems to be doing well,” Emily
stated as she was spreading her blanket on the ground.

“She is. Here, let me help you,” Russell
leapt up and grabbed one side of the blanket to help her get it spread out
evenly. “She still has a multitude of problems, but she seems to have evened out
a bit. There aren’t so many ups and downs.”

“I’m so glad. I think she is actually
starting to like school and that makes a world of difference.”

“It does,” he agreed as he watched a
tiny blond woman of about sixty walk up beside Emily and grab her hand.

“Oh, Russell Harper, this is my mother
Margaret Zane.  I don’t know if you remember her.”

He held his hand out to the pleasant
looking woman. “Let’s see, Margaret Zane...ER nurse extraordinaire, helped me through
a broken arm, a bloody nose, a sprained ankle and many other childhood
mishaps.” He ticked the incidents off on his fingers one by one. “Oh yes I
certainly do remember her.  How are you Mrs. Zane?”

“Please, call me Margaret, and I’m just
fine. How are you?”

“I’m good ma’am, all in one piece and
have been for quite a while. Sweetie, come here,” he called to his daughter.
“This is my daughter Miranda.  Miranda this is Mrs. Zane, Miss Emily’s
mother.” The little girl looked at her feet and mumbled a hello.

“It’s nice to meet you, Miranda,” the
woman said with a smile. Thank goodness Margaret Zane had kept it short and
sweet so Russell could let his daughter sit down and read again.

“Well Emily, Margaret, it was great to
see you, but Miranda is probably getting hungry so I’d better go see about
getting her some lunch. Enjoy your picnic.” He turned to walk back to where
Miranda was.