Running Scarred (20 page)

Patrick pushed the chair back and sat up straight, his sudden anger visible.

“Yes, she is beautiful, but only on the outside. On the inside she’s as ugly as hell. She only came over because I’d received a letter at our old home about my compensation. She’d opened it and found out how much I was going to get. It’s a lot. Not that it will ever make up for this.” He brushed his hand down the ruined side of his face. “She saw it as a good excuse for a spending spree. But the money came directly to me. I’d not told anyone except my parents that I was here and she contacted them on the pretense of being desperately in love with me still. They gave my address up straight away because they want me to be happy again. And she also found out that I’d received the commendation for a medal. I hadn’t told her before. I didn’t even want the damn thing. My men were ripped apart because of the mistake I made.” He hung his head. “I’d done the recon on the position, but it was a trap, the sneaky little shits sneaked in after us and placed the bomb. I wouldn’t have had to clear up the mess if I’d been more careful. Not that that seems to have made any difference. For some reason my men all loved me still and forwarded the commendation. Someone must have told Diane about it. She couldn’t see herself on the arm of a cripple, but a hero, well that was another thing entirely. I hadn’t seen her since the day she left me in that awful hospital. She couldn’t even look at me then. Her rejection of me was worse than the actual injury. You can never get over a thing like that. I was so hurt and angry, I never wanted to see her again. I still never want to see her again.”  

David grunted.

“I’ve heard of that sort of thing happening before. Some women just can’t take it.”

Patrick looked over at him, aghast at his words.

“You have? Well I hadn’t. It’s enough to kill a guy. I pity anyone else that’s ever had to go through it. All of my mates, my team, were still with their wives no matter what had happened to them. Stuck with them through thick and thin. It’s not easy being an Army wife. Lots of pressure, but Diane and I had been together a long while, nearly ten years. I thought she would be okay with it. I’ll never forget the look on her face when she saw me at the hospital. I mean, I knew it was going to be hard for her. I expected a few tears. I didn’t expect revulsion.” He hung his head. “She couldn’t even look at me properly. She didn’t come back again. I just had a letter to say that all my gear was being moved to my parent’s house. She didn’t want to be with a disabled man. But of course, money makes a big difference to some people. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed it before. She was all over me as soon as she thought she might get a few quid. She makes me sick to my stomach.” He finished bitterly.

Ellen was aghast.

“How could she do that to you? How could anyone?”

Joe looked up again. Ellen could see his eyes were watering. She handed him back his handkerchief.

Joe gulped and his voice trembled.

“Patrick has always been a hero Ellen, even before this big medal he was a legend in the ranks. It was as if he was completely invincible. It’s a lot to live up to and maybe Patrick’s wife liked the heroics. Maybe she thought that having disabilities would change him. Perhaps she couldn’t see past them to the man inside. Not everyone is like you Ellen. You have an inner strength that sees past the surface, Geraldine too.” He nodded at David. “Some of my mates have had a hell of an ordeal with their partners. That’s why I love the idea of this hotel. I hate it when people stare at me as if I’m just some kind of freak. I thought I was lucky not having a wife or girlfriend to reject me.
Must be awful.” He blew what was left of his nose his nose loudly.

Patrick nodded at Joe, suddenly desperately grateful to the man in front of him. He looked over
to David.

“I came out here nearly three years ago just wanting to hide, to be left alone. I didn’t want to see another soul ever again, but then I met Ellen, God! I’ll never forget the effect she had on me. I nearly went mad with desire, but I thought she would be revolted by me. I couldn’t take rejection like that ever again, so I avoided her for months.” Patrick’s eyes were full of pain, his voice thick with emotion. “I couldn’t believe it when she told me how she really felt. I nearly blew it and sent her away, but we got it right in the end. Ellen saved me from the life of complete misery I was wrapping myself in. I was so in love with her, the three months together were the best of my whole life. And then Diane turned up and ruined everything. Even though I hadn’t seen her after the hospital, I’d filed for divorce, but there’s a two-year wait if there’s no adultery involved. When she came here in September, she said she had changed her
mind, that she still loved me and she wasn’t going to agree to a divorce now. I could have told her about being with Ellen but I didn’t want to drag her name into it and fortunately for me I only had to wait another month and we’d been officially apart for over two years. There was no way she could stop it even if she wasn’t happy with my plans. I only had to wait a few days and then apply for the ‘decree absolute’ but even that takes six weeks from application.” He finished bitterly.

The door suddenly opened again and
Geraldine came through with a pile of damp, mouldering mail.

“There!” She said triumphantly.
“You ‘ave written so many. And I can smell your perfume on them too. You are such a romantic man.” She smiled widely at Patrick. “Some ‘ave been there a very long time and ‘ave been eaten by the snails, perhaps they like the perfume too Monsieur, but the rest are still fine. Patrick ‘as told you the truth Ellen. ‘e ‘as sent you many letters of love.” She dumped the pile in front of Ellen.

Ellen looked up at Patrick. His eyes were burning into hers. She swallowed before she could speak.

“I feel so stupid, faithless even. I am so sorry for not believing in you. I don’t know what to say.” She looked down at the pile of letters and moved her hand to pick one up.

Patrick quickly put his hand over hers and held it still. She looked back up at him curiously.

“Don’t look at them now. Please. I was a bit sentimental in some of them. Save them until later. I wouldn’t want these two,” he tipped his head towards David and Joe, “thinking that I’d gone soft.”

David let out a great guffaw.

“Soft! Bloody hell! You were like a machine when you thought Ellen was in danger. I was almost scared of you myself. That reminds me, what are we going to do with that scumbag in the cellar. Shall we just leave him there to rot?”

Patrick snarled.

“I did think of that at first, but I think your guests may object to the smell. I came up with a better plan. I’ve already told him what’s going to happen if he ever bothers us or any other woman again. I told him that we’d seek him out, wherever he tries to hide himself, and then we will cut off selected parts of his anatomy with a blunt chainsaw. Slowly.” He grinned as he saw David wince. “I’m pretty sure I convinced him that I was perfectly serious, but I think we should let him sweat on it for a couple of days before we let him go. Or we could just attach him to the hog roast. The rest of your guests may find that a bit of fun. We could let them baste him and then tell them that his squealing is the cabaret.”

Ellen giggled, then stopped and slapped her hand to her forehead.

“Oh hell! The pig! I haven’t been to pick it up. I don’t even know what to do with the thing once I get it here. The hotel guests will be arriving at five for the grand opening tour, and the celebration dinner is at seven…it’s never going to be done in time.” She wailed hopelessly.

Patrick looked at her and took immediate control.

“Right. Now don’t panic everyone. I think the porker is being delivered fairly soon, from what Geraldine said of the phone call earlier. Do you know how much it weighs? I can work out the cooking time now and if you have some sage, thyme, maybe some honey, mustard and balsamic vinegar anywhere, I can get a marinade ready for the basting. If you have any old bread, I can sort out some leeks and onions from my garden for the stuffing. I’m assuming you have accompaniments to go with it. Potatoes and veg?” Ellen nodded and Patrick carried on. “Good, we can get a huge dauphinoise in the oven. I can make fresh bread later. Joe, can you get the fire going so it’s good and hot, lots of red embers and not too much flame? We want there to be plenty of nice crackling. I’ll find some bay leaf too, there’s a load of bushes round the Chateau. We can burn it on the embers for extra flavour. Oh, and waft some of the smoke in the direction of the cellar, will you? I’ll go and tell Justin our alternative plan for him in a minute.” He stood up quickly, shoved his sleeves over his elbows and scrubbed his hands in the sink. He whipped a towel from the range and dried his hands, then started for the cupboards.

The others all stared at him open mouthed as he pulled down a selection of ingredients. He was humming absentmindedly as he threw some herbs together in a bowl and then added the honey, mustard and vinegar. He stirred vigorously. It took him a few seconds to notice the quiet behind him.

He turned back to them as their silence grew louder.

“What?” He questioned their unified gaze.

David looked at Ellen, grinned broadly and winked.

“I think we’ve just found our new chef.”

They all jumped as the doorbell rang at that very second and then Monsieur Lefevre was heaving the prepared pig onto the table. Joe went to start the fire and David and Geraldine rushed to find some money and a bottle of brandy for Monsieur Lefevre.

Patrick and Ellen were left alone in the kitchen. They were silent for a few seconds, the only sounds being Patrick mixing things in the bowl. He stopped stirring and turned to brush the pig with the marinade. Ellen watched him silently. When he had finished he put the bowl down and turned to the sink. He washed his hands and dried them again,
then he pressed his knuckles onto the work surface. Ellen could see that they were trembling slightly. She came up beside him and lifted her hand to the scarred side of his face. He didn’t flinch, just closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, reveling in her touch.

He turned his face slightly and kissed the palm of her hand.

“I thought you would be at home waiting for me.” His voice was a whisper. “This place was still a building site when I left. I just assumed you would be living there and knew to look for the mail in my box.”

She slid her hand down his neck onto his shoulder and pushed him round to face her. Her eyes were like fire as they burned up at him.

She stepped even closer to him. He could feel her breath on his face as she spoke. Cool and sweet, exactly as he remembered.

“I know that now, and I was there until David came here permanently. I brought your old coat with me when he arrived and I had to stay here. I’ve slept with it every night since. I couldn’t bear to be without you.” She put her hand up to his face again.

Patrick thrilled at her touch. His heart began to pound and the pulse in his throat throbbed wildly.

“My divorce came through a couple of weeks ago, but I couldn’t chance it getting lost in the Christmas mail. I had to pick up the papers myself. I didn’t want them to be delayed over the break. I would have been back before otherwise. My poor mum and dad have had the worst Christmas ever with me there. I just didn’t want to be with them and I’m afraid it showed. I’m going to have to invite them over
soon. I need to eat a very large portion of humble pie. The ferries only started running again yesterday so I got on the first one back but I had only slept a few hours when David came barging in on me. He said he’d kill me if I went anywhere near you again. He wouldn’t have had to Ellen. I nearly died when he said you didn’t want me.” He was staring deeply into her eyes, wanting her so badly, but afraid to say anything more.

She moved her hand higher until it touched his hair and then she pushed her fingers into the
thick dark mass. She sighed deeply.

“He was wrong Patrick. I do want you. I wanted you from the first moment I met you. I love you and I’ll always want you.”

And then Patrick was at last unfrozen. He lifted his hand and touched her chin with his fingertips. He tilted her face to his.

“Oh God.”
He sighed, his whole body shaking in anticipation. He bent his head and as lightly as he could, he touched his lips to hers.

She gasped at the sensations that ran through her body as she scrunched her fingers into his hair. Then suddenly his lips were crushing hers with a ferocity she didn’t know could exist. His tongue explored her mouth, tasting her greedily. His hands encircled her waist,
then travelled slowly over her back. He held her hard to his body. She could feel his heart hammering as though it would burst through his ribs.

When they broke apart, they were breathless. He kissed her again, more lightly, and then turned reluctantly to the pig, lying on the table.

“It’s not that big a beast. It’s only going to take about four hours to do on that spit. That leaves us with about two hours spare. I’m still soaked. I’m going to have to go and get changed anyway. It might as well be now. You’re damp too you know.” He ran his finger down the front of her jumper, letting it rest significantly between her breasts. His eyes were smouldering at her.

She felt her skin burning with desire.

“Do you want any help getting changed? Geraldine helps David take off his legs. She likes spoiling him. Would you like me to spoil you?” She pressed herself as close to him as possible.