Running on Empty (21 page)

“Aidan…don’t.” Sabrina shook her head. He didn’t know Declan the way she did. “He would never touch me in anger.”

Aidan snorted. “Now who’s being delusional? He kidnapped you, held a gun to your head. Hell, Sabrina, you said yourself that he’s not the same man. Are you willing to take the chance he won’t hurt you?”

Declan drew in a controlled breath and then blew it out in a giant huff. Instead of assuring them both that he had no intention of striking her, he said, “So your partner’s in on it, too? Should’ve figured.”

She rolled her eyes heavenward. “Shut up, Declan. Just shut the hell up.” 

Sabrina went toward Aidan, believing he would lower his gun. She was wrong. All he did was make a slight shift so the gun was pointed away from her but still at Declan.

She put her hand on his wrist and pushed down. “No, he’s not the same man, but he’s not going to hurt me. At least not that way.”

His eyes remained focused on his target. “You willing to take that chance, that’s your business. Right now, I’m your partner and I watch your back. Got that, Steele?”

Sabrina turned to the man she had once believed she knew better than herself. The old Declan would have cut his hand off before ever touching her in anger. Was she being delusional, as Aidan had accused? Twice he’d held a loaded gun on her. This wasn’t the old Declan. He had proved that repeatedly. 

“Fine, you’re right. I don’t know that he wouldn’t hurt me physically.” She turned back to Aidan. “Let’s head back.”

Aidan shook his head. “Too late. Chopper’s already picked up the rest of the team and survivors. McCall is sending the authorities out to take care of the dead. We’re to head to the closest village and contact him. He’ll send transport to get us out.” He jerked his head as if pointing over his shoulder. “I grabbed up yours and Steele’s gear and dropped it back there.”

Sabrina nodded her thanks. “Let’s go then.”

Declan followed behind the other two. They acted as if he wasn’t around, as if they were alone. They talked to each other as if they’d known each other their entire lives, throwing out insults and jokes, totally comfortable with one another. He felt like a third wheel.

Could she actually have shot Meat-Face to save his life, like she’d claimed? He had been distracted, and most likely the bastard would’ve gotten a nice slice of him before Declan could’ve stopped him. Or, as that hideous voice inside his head claimed, she’d shot him because he would’ve revealed her role. With Meat-Face out of the picture, he had no one else to confirm his suspicions. 

And Thorne had made the noise to distract him. Had he been in on it all along or was he just helping out his lover? 

They traveled for miles without stopping. Though Sabrina and Thorne were several yards ahead of him, he noticed she kept looking back at him. They could’ve moved faster without him. He was holding them back. Dammit, why was he so cold? Wasn’t he in the middle of a freaking jungle? Had somebody turned on the air conditioner?

He felt his feet move forward, but for some reason he thought he might be flying. Maybe floating. A roaring in his ears. A plane? Someone was here to rescue him. Him? No, them. Them, who? Who else was here?

Black spots danced before his eyes. The roar in his head increased. Like a black, oozing river, darkness flowed over him. He felt himself falling. Thought about catching himself before he hit the ground and changed his mind. What the hell? Why not take a nap till he felt better?

Chapter Seventeen

He fought her like a madman. Like she was trying to kill him instead of saving him. Why hadn’t she noticed he’d been shot? They’d walked for miles. Self-righteous indignation had given her extra energy. She’d made sure she stayed several yards ahead of him as her mind hurled curses and insults at the stubborn bastard. Let him think she was a killer, that she had been lying to him all along. Let him fend for himself. What the hell did she care?

And where had all that moral indignation gotten her? Nowhere. Now Declan could die because of her stupidity.

“Oh, for the love of all that’s good and holy, would you just give it a rest?”

She glared across at Aidan. “It’s my fault. If I—”

“No, it’s not your fault. It’s mostly the fault of the prick who shot him, and some of it is this asshole’s fault for getting shot in the first place.”

“How can you say that? If not for me, he wouldn’t even be on this mission. He’d—”

“If it wasn’t for you, he never would’ve had a chance to find one of the men who tortured him.”

“Yes, and I killed him. He could’ve told Declan who betrayed him. But no, I had to go in like Wyatt Kidd and blast him to hell.”

“Wyatt who?”

“You know.” She waved a hand. “That gunfighter.”

“Wyatt Earp was a sheriff. Billy the Kid was an outlaw.”

“Whatever.” She shrugged, infuriated with herself and with Aidan, who should have shared her fury. “The thing is, if not for me, he wouldn’t be in this predicament.” She was getting ready for another dose of guilt when a fist slammed into her face.

“Son of a bitch,” Sabrina snapped.

Aidan grabbed the fist that Declan had swung and held him down. When he glanced at Sabrina again, he didn’t even bother to hide his amusement. “While I don’t endorse hitting a woman unless she’s threatening me or mine, I do hope that knocked some sense into you.”

A one-eyed glare didn’t have as much impact, but she gave her partner one anyway. The delirious man on the ground had no idea what he had done. They’d cleaned and bandaged the wounds on his arm and thigh, given him an antibiotic and mild sedative for pain. His temp was slightly over one hundred two, and they’d taken turns bathing him with their limited supply of bottled water. And now they could do nothing but wait. They were at least one day’s hard travel to the nearest village. 

Glad to see that Declan’s movements had stilled and he seemed to be resting easier, Sabrina leaned back against a tree. Aidan sat on the other side of her and took a long swallow of water from his canteen. “So. Before I decide I completely hate this shithead you married and are obviously still crazy about, tell me what he was like before.”

She knew why he was asking. When she had taken Declan’s shirt off to treat his wound, her partner had seen the scars. And for the first time Sabrina had seen the ones on his chest and stomach. How had he survived? The irrefutable evidence that Declan had gone through the horrors of hell reinforced her opinion once again of his strength and courage. 

Aidan’s statement indicated he, having seen the damage, was willing to give Declan another chance.

“He’d been with EDJE several years before I met him. Grew up in Scotland. Started with the Agency in his early twenties.”

“Scotland? Really? Where’s that Scottish brogue all the girls go crazy over?”

Surprised she still had an ounce of amusement in her, Sabrina laughed softly. “When he wants, he can definitely bring it out.” Unbelievably, she found herself blushing. How many times had Declan whispered to her in that beautiful accent while making love to her?

Hoping Aidan hadn’t seen her embarrassment, she went on, “Anyway, when I met him, I was greener than a new apple. Had assisted on a few ops, mostly by gathering intel. Was still attending classes. Still had no idea what I’d gotten myself into. Thought I’d already seen everything I needed to see.” She shrugged. “Believe it or not, I was slightly cocky.”

“You?” Aidan’s eyes widened in mock disbelief. “Never.”

She grinned and continued. “One day I barged in on a meeting between Albert Marks, the head of the Agency, and Declan. Even that early, I was looking at Albert as family. He’d saved me from…” She swallowed. “Let’s just say I didn’t have a very good life before I went to the Agency. I’d been there just long enough to feel like I finally had a family, but still had a chip on my shoulder the size of France.

“The first time I saw Declan, I just knew he had to be some kind of a model.” She snorted as she remembered her naïveté and stupidity. “Like a secret government agency was going to do recruiting posters. But he was just so gorgeous. Like James Bond and Jason Bourne wrapped up in the most delectable—”

Aidan gave an overloud clearing of his throat. 

She threw him an embarrassed grin. “Sorry. Anyway, he fascinated me from the start. Albert introduced me to him. Told me he was going to be my new trainer.”

Declan had been rough on her…ruthlessly mean to the point of cruelty. She had gone back to her room almost every night and cried. She’d never intended to let him see what he did to her. And each time she had gone back with the same cocky attitude as the day before. He’d done his best to destroy her, and she had refused to let him.

“We worked a couple of ops together in the middle of my training. During those missions, he treated me as an equal. I guess I expected that to continue, but when we got back to training, he was just as mean, maybe even meaner. This went on for close to a year. I’d go off on an op, come back for more training, and he’d treat me like shit. I’d give it right back to him.”

“What changed?”

“I’d walked out the door in a temper and left my weapon. Stupid. I knew from the first day that you never leave your weapon behind. That it was an extension of me. But he had me so frazzled that day I forgot. He came to my room with it, ready to ream me out. I didn’t answer the door, and being the arrogant asshole that he was, he came inside. Heard me having my nightly meltdown in the shower.”

He had talked with her as an equal, told her about himself, his family.

“And from that moment things were better?”

She snorted. “Are you kidding me? The next day he was tougher than ever.” But it had changed her. She had reveled in that toughness, determined to learn all she could and be the best she could be.

She didn’t tell Aidan about the other nights he had found her in the shower, picked her up, and just held her while she let all the pain and fury of that day drain from her. Those moments were between her and Declan, precious memories she would hold in her heart forever, no matter what happened in the future.

“When did you guys start your relationship?”

“About a year later, we were on an op together. My first kill. I lost it and almost got myself killed instead. I did the job, but it wasn’t pretty or neat. I figured he was going to rail at me and then fire me. Or call Uncle Al and have him take me away. Instead, he told me about his first op, about how messy it was.” 

She swallowed and remembered how he had held her, comforting her as only Declan could.

“We worked almost every op together after that.”

“And he was good to you?”

Her voice was husky and thick. “In a word—amazing. He knew me better than anyone. Treated me like I was precious…valuable.” She lifted her shoulder, unable to articulate how wonderful he had been to her. “Like I said, I didn’t have the best home life. I’d never been treated as if I was something special.”

“If you were such a good team, why’d you leave the Agency?”

It wasn’t something she talked about a lot. A part of her was embarrassed about the weakness. Another part was glad she was human enough to care. “Killing became my job. That wasn’t their initial plan for me, but when they saw how good I could be, I got called in to do the deed. Up close and personal was my specialty.

“But then it became too much. It was like a piece of my soul left me with each kill. I knew I was saving lives. The people I took out were scum, had murdered, kidnapped, tortured. Done all manner of unspeakable things, so it wasn’t as if I thought I was doing wrong. I knew I was in the right. I just…” She trailed off. Hard to articulate something she’d felt so conflicted about.

“You wanted to feel clean.”

Her head jerked up at Aidan’s bald statement and amazing insight. “That’s exactly how I felt. How did you know?”

“Just a guess.”

Her eyes narrowed in an accusing glare. “You know, Mr. Thorne, at some point you’re going to have to reciprocate. You jumped down my throat for not telling you about Declan, but you’ve got more than your share of secrets. Someday you’re going to have to spill.”

“But not today.”

He said it with such grim determination that Sabrina didn’t push. “But not today,” she agreed.

“So you came to LCR for a change of pace?”

She laughed. “The pace is about the same, sometimes a little faster, but the high of saving lives…being right in the thick of the action and actually seeing the difference I’ve made…”

“Nothing like it,” Aidan said softly.

“Nothing.”

“Why LCR, though? There are lots of rescue organizations.”

“An LCR operative—can’t say who—is a former EDJE agent. Declan contacted him. After I talked with him, he arranged for a meeting with Noah.”

“Steele wanted you out?”

“He wanted me out of the killing business. He saw what it was doing to me.”

“So those words he threw at you the other day…that you were nothing but a killer.” Aidan shook his head. “Bastard knows where to stick the knife, doesn’t he?”

A lump developed in her throat. Those words still stung.

Apparently not expecting a response, Aidan went on, “I’m surprised Steele didn’t come to LCR with you.”

“Declan was too valuable.”

“You think that’s why he was taken?”

“Yes, no doubt. But—”

“But?”

“I still have no idea what they wanted from him. He’s been so busy blaming me and not trusting anyone, he won’t tell me a damned thing. How the hell is he ever going to find the truth if he doesn’t trust anyone enough to help him find it?”

“What was his role at EDJE, other than trainer?”

Her gaze dropped to the man lying on the ground before her. Unable to stop herself, she tenderly brushed a strand of hair off his forehead and was pleased to note his skin was much cooler. “He was a field agent, but he had responsibilities even I wasn’t allowed to know.” She swallowed hard. “And unless I earn his trust again, prove to him that I had nothing to do with his abduction, I might never know why he was taken.”

Instead of giving her trite reassurances, Aidan said, “Guess we’d better get some rest. If he’s not better tomorrow, I’ll head out on my own and bring help back.”