Running From Destiny (19 page)

Flying up the HOT lane, I finally get home a
bout twenty five minutes later. I really need to move closer in-town so I’m not spending so much on this damn Peach Pass. But really, it is the best way to travel up I85 North. I scan my card at the gate and I pull through, driving slowly avoiding the kids playing ball in the parking lot.

I park the car and click the fob to lock it, heading toward
the breezeway to my apartment. Something doesn’t feel right, but I figure it's just that I'm getting home later than usual. I go to unlock my door when I hear a voice. “Alexandra. There you are.” I freeze. I know that voice, though I haven’t heard it in months. I turn to see who is behind me and find I am correct. Jackson is sitting on the stairs, feet crossed at his ankles and his hands in his pockets.

“Jackson, what are you doing here?” I say after almost jumping out of my skin.

“Waiting for you. Apparently you didn’t wait for me, though.”

“Wait for you?
What in the hell are you talking about?” I ask in confusion.

“Let’s go inside.
We have to talk.” He motions for me to open the door as he moves next to me.

“No, we don’t Jackson.
There is nothing to talk about.” I tell him.

“Open the door Alexandra.”

Shit, why is he so damned bossy? Chase was not bossy, he was....nice.But do I really wan
t
Nice?

“Fine, but make it quick.
I’m getting home late and I have laundry and other things to do before bed.” I try to be as nonchalant as possible and make up silly excuses, but he has my nerves on fire. I walk in, tossing my keys on the table and setting my purse down, before I can finish I am pulled into Jackson’s arms.

Heat swallows me whole, sub
merging my psyche in one gulp. My cheek is pressed against his chest and his fingers are threading through my hair, which is about two inches longer now than it was the last time I saw him. “Mmmmm.” He mumbles. “Love the longer hair, sweet girl.” He continues stroking my hair.

I push back away f
rom him, confusion in my eyes. “What are you doing here?” I whisper, ducking out of his arms. “You can’t just show up here after months away and expect everything to be okay. What do you want?”

“Sit. I’ll explain everything.
But first, I have a question.” He says. “Why didn’t you wait for me?”

Chapter 16

On shaking legs, I walk
over to the sofa and sit down. He sits right next to me, so close our legs are touching. I try and scoot back, but my back is met by the arm of the sofa and I’m effectively trapped. Feeling a little like a school girl in the principal’s office, I cross my hands on my lap and squeeze.

“You were suppo
sed to wait for me, Alexandra.” He says again.

“You keep telling me that, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He blows out a deep breath, “When I saw you last and had to leave for New York, I asked you to wait for me.” He says.

“No, that wasn’t the last time you saw me, you interrupted
a fun evening out with Heather. That was the last time you saw me. And you didn’t tell me that then, so what the fuck is this about?

“No Ally, when I left for New York the first time.”

“You were serious? How could you ask me to wait for you when I had no idea what I was waiting for? You can’t expect me to put my life on hold waiting for someone or something who may or may not ever return. That’s not fair and you know it.” I spit back at him, getting angry now. And, when I get angry my brain to mouth filter malfunctions. I need to get my emotions under control before I say anymore.

“I’m sorry.
I know it was selfish of me, but I couldn’t imagine not having you in my life, Ally. I know I have been gone for a while, but you have never been far from my thoughts. Now, I am back in Atlanta and we can continue what we started.”

“Really? Just like that?
You swoop out of my life as quickly as you swooped in, and now you’r
e
BACK? Are you fucking kidding me, Jackson? You have no fucking right....”

He cuts me off, “Alexandra watch your mouth.”

“What the fuck!” I scream, standing up from the sofa and head toward my bedroom. “I’m not talking about this right now, Jackson. You need to leave. When I come out of my room, you’d better be gone and next time you want to talk, you call me. Don’t just show up on my doorstep and demand. You can’t keep doing this.” I scream as I slam my door, hoping I don’t piss my neighbors off with the noise, and hoping they don’t call the cops.

I change into yoga pants and a tank, br
ush my teeth and wash my face. I grab the laundry basket and head out toward the laundry room. He’d better be gone or I am going to go off on him. As I peer around the corner, the living room is empty. He’s gone. But he left something on the coffee table. I ignore it for now and put my laundry in, starting the washer. I straighten up the kitchen and the living room, constantly glancing at the envelope on my coffee table. It’s a medium sized envelope and I am curious as to what’s in there, but afraid to look at the same time.

After about twenty minutes, I’ve
had enough of the anticipation. So I sit down and pick up the envelope. It’s light and flat, nothing material in there so I assume its papers. I decide to call Heather before I open it, maybe she will come over first. “Hey, it’s me. Can you come over for a minute?” I ask her, my voice shaking a bit.

“Yeppers, be right the
re.” And she hangs up. Since she is in the next building, it’s only about five minutes before she opens my door and walks in.I look up at her and she has that look in her eyes, tha
t
I Tried To Warn Yo
u
look.

“I’m sorry, Heather.
I should have let you talk earlier. This is so fucked up.” And I burst into tears. Why? I’m not really sure, but the tears start falling and I can’t stop them. Heather wraps her arms around me and rocks, kind of like a mother does with her crying baby. It’s soothing, for a minute. Then I snap out of it and push her away.

“He was here when I got home.
I got angry and told him to leave, but when I came out of my room this envelope was here and I didn’t want to open it alone.” I tell her.

“I know he was here, I let him through the gate. Had I known you weren’t
home, I would have told him no. But YOU didn’t bother to call ME and tell ME where you were.” She says.

“Heather, I don
’t have to tell you everything. I wanted to see how the night went before jinxing it.” And she seems okay with that explanation, so I continue.

I tell her about the conversation with Jackson and she sits quietly while I do, which is unlike Heather. Usually she’s all up in the conver
sation, interrupting and such. But she let me talk this time. I’m not really sure what I feel right now, but confusion and excitement don’t mix and I can sense both, though I wish I felt neither. I’m not sure that even makes sense, but it’s the truth. I wish I could go back three months and decline that trip to Miami, because that’s where all this shit began.

“Are you rea
dy to open the envelope, Ally? Cause if you aren’t, I’ll do it for you.” Heather says as she tries to take the envelope from my hands, but I am clenching it so hard she can’t pull it from me.

“
No, I need to open it. I just can’t figure out what it would be and I’m scared to find out. A note? An apology? What? I’m not sure I even want to know, but I guess I need to see what it is.” I tell her as I open the clasp on the envelope. I peek inside and see two smaller envelopes. I pull them out and my eyes widen when I see what’s in there.

I hold the documents in my
hands and start shaking again. The first is a round trip airline ticket to New York’s LaGuardia Airport, for this weekend. Departing Friday and coming back Sunday evening. “I can’t go to New York this weekend, I have a date with Chase.” I whisper. Heather snatches the tickets from my hand and squeals.

“New York!
Holy shit, Ally!! You’re going to New York!” She is now bouncing on the sofa all excited like it was her that got the tickets.

“Settle down Heather, I’m not going.” I tell her as I grab the tickets from her and
put them back in the envelope. “There’s something else here, a note.” I hold it in my hands and slowly unseal the envelope. It’s a hand written note, obviously in Jackson’s handwriting.

Alexandra,

Please use this ticket to join me in New York this weekend. I know I have a lot of explaining to do, and will do so this weekend. A car will pick you up at LaGuardia after your flight lands and take you to your hotel. At seven p.m., I will meet you in the hotel ball room. I know this is an unconventional way to do this, but I have to explain to you what happened and where I have been for the past three months. I have only reserved one night for you in the hotel, in the hopes that you will accept my apologies and explanations and stay with me Saturday night. We will fly back to Atlanta together on Sunday.

Sincerely,

Jackson

“Sincerely?
He signs i
t
SINCERELY
?
Damn this man has a lot of nerve! He frustrates me so much. Well, he can enjoy his weekend in New York - without me, because I’m not going. He can Kiss. My. Ass.” I tell Heather as she just sits there smiling. “What are you smiling about? This isn’t happening.”

“Ally, really?
Of course you’re going, how could you pass this up?” Heather is much more excited than I am.

“Heather, you already apologized for pushing me to h
im, why are you doing it again? I thought you were my friend!” I shove the tickets and note back in the envelope and get up to go to the kitchen. Suddenly, a glass of wine is desperately needed.

“I know, but that wa
s when I thought he was an ass. He’s trying to make it right and I think you should give him a chance. He obviously likes you, a lot. You should go and see what he has to say, then make your call.”

“I’m making t
he call now, and I’m not going. Whatever he has to tell me, he can tell me here.” I say.

Heather reminds me, “Ally, you pushed him away before he could tell you, you didn’t let him explain.”

“It’s been three months! He’s had THREE MONTHS to explain!! I’ve moved on with my life and I have a date with Chase this weekend. I am not going to cancel on him to go to New York and maybe receive a legitimate apology from someone I am not even sure I want. It’s over and it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Of course it matters, or you wouldn’t be acting this way, Ally.”

“What? How am I acting? Angry, confused? Yeah? Cause I am! This man seems to think he can jump in and out of my life with no repercussions. Well, I got news for him. He fucked up the last time and lied to me! Then he disappeared for THREE MONTHS and now suddenly he thinks he can swish back in and sweep me off my feet? No damn way. I have more respect for myself than that. I may not be beautiful like you, but I still have my self-respectand I will not let Jackso
n
fuckin
g
Bentley take that away from me. I am my own person and I will make my own decisions. If he thinks he can make me do things his way, he’s got another thing coming.”

I take the envelope and place it in a drawer in the kit
chen then I fill my wine glass. I take a big gulp, downing the whole thing and slam the glass on the counter, breaking the stem. “Shit!” And I throw the glass in the trash, completing the breaking process. That was my favorite wine glass too. Hand painted with flowers...and oh, who gives a shit? I’ve got bigger problems than a damn broken wine glass.

Thankfully it’s only Tuesday, so I have time to think and figure out what I’m going to do
, and what I’m not going to do. Right now, I am NOT going to New York, but my feelings could change over the week so I decide to see how the days go between now and then before completely making up my mind. But to Heather, I am not going.

“Ally, you n
eed to really think about this. He’s making an effort, you should give him the time to explain. There may be a simple explanation for everything and you could be over reacting.” Heather says as she comes up behind me.

“Hea
ther, put yourself in my shoes. If some rich, gorgeous man.....wait, never mind. If some man comes into your life and does this, how would you react?” I know I am digging my own grave, but I need to try and get her to see things my way.

“I would give him a chance, cause if I didn’t I would always wonder i
f he was the one that got away. Could you live with that if you realize he is the one, long after he’s gone?”

As usual, Heather has a point.
Heather always has a point, which is why I love her. She makes me think. I don’t always agree with her, but I’m pig headed and sometimes I need her to slap me down a few notches.

“I’ll think about it.” I tell her, grabbing a
new wine glass and filling it. “Right now I need to calm down and guzzle this wine. Tell me about your day.” Yes, I am trying to change the subject.

“Nothing special.
I don’t have near the excitement in my life as you do.” She snickers.

“Not excitement.
Annoyance, grief, frustration....shall I go on?” I snicker back. “Things just started to calm down. I just met Chase and he’s nice and I’d like to see him again. Maybe I can call him and change our date to Thursday night, but I guess I would have to explain to him why......no, I don’t. I don’t owe him explanations yet. We’ve only been on one date.” Heather just nodded her head in agreement. She may be talkative and nosy, but she knows when to keep quiet and let me think out loud. Most of the time anyway.

“Tell me about Chase.”

“Well, he’s tall. Black hair and light brown, almost amber eyes. A little scruffy in the face, but I don’t mind a little five o’clock shadow. He’s nice. Sad I know, that is all I can say to describe him. Oh, except that he obviously works out. When I slammed into him, it felt like I hit a wall.” I chuckle. “He seems more my type than Jackson is. Safe, maybe. I don’t know. Jackson doesn’t feel safe. He seems like the bad boy who's full of trouble.” Okay, now I’m rambling. But Heather doesn’t say anything.

“See if you can change your date with Chase to Thursday,
then go to New York on Friday. If things don’t work out, change your return ticket and come back Saturday. I’ll pick you up at the airport if you need me to.”

“We’ll see.
I have a few days to think about it. I think if I go, I am giving into Jackson and that is the last thing I want to do. If he really wants me, he’s going to have to work for it. I’m not handing anything over on a silver platter. Why did he have to show back up after all this time, just when I’m moving on?”

“Maybe he knew you were moving on and decided he needed to get back here before you forgot
all about him.” Heather says. “Is it possible he knew about your date with Chase?”

“I doubt it.
They don’t work in the same building, nor are they in the same line of work. In fact, I’m not even sure what Chase does, we never talked about that. Guess I should find out huh? Wouldn’t want to get too involved and then find out he’s a porno movie director or something.” I say sarcastically and Heather spews her wine all over me. Guess I should watch what I say when someone has a mouth full, huh?

“Damn girl, too fucking funny!
Yeah, I guess it’s not a bad idea to find out. Surely they aren’t connected somehow, but you’d better find out. That would really suck.” Heather comments as she’s grabbing a towel to wipe her face, and mine. She refills her drink and walks back to the living room, flopping on my sofa.