Chapter 7
Bekka
The days waiting until the exam results are posted crawl by, especially since I've been trying to avoid Alex. I've taken to running twice a day in order to keep myself busy, and expel my nervous energy. I go out once in the morning and again in early evening. In the morning, I still run in the upper flats in the neighborhood full of abandoned single homes. It's my favorite part of the entire city because not only is it deserted and quiet, but since it sits high along the fences, I have the best views of the ridge.
Just to spice things up, I've chosen a different area of the city for my second run of the day, one where a lot of people tend to be out and about so I'm not as isolated, in case I run into trouble. It seems like as the city goes dark, the freaks tend to come out. Now, as I make my way through the area called the City Center, I jog passed the tattoo shop where Zane got his first tattoo. I remember going along and watching. The design is a bold black band which runs along his upper left bicep, except I was surprised when he wanted the artist to add some small purple flowers weaving through the solid line. When I asked him what it meant, he just shrugged it off. I've always loved that tattoo, even if I have no idea why.
I run past a few stores and a couple of restaurants. I have to pay attention to the doors and the people on the sidewalk so I don't slam into anyone or anything but it doesn't stop me from glancing at the big board in the courtyard which runs the width of the busy street. It's easily the prettiest area of the entire city. There's some fake grass and a tree, a real one, which is supposed to be symbolic for something, so it's the only thing that actually gets watered in all of North Sacto.
I usually focus on the tree when I'm in the area, but today I stare at the board. Tomorrow by this time I will know my fate because it will be tacked up there for the whole world to see. Just the thought of it is dizzying. The wait has been hard and I'm to the point where I'm beyond ready; I just want to get it over with and start the new phase of my life. I think about what Blake Jackson said to me at the party. What would I want to do if I didn't get assigned as a runner? It's funny that I've had eighteen years to decide that, yet I had no answer for Blake. It's like the thought had never even crossed my mind until that moment he asked it. There has never been a backup choice and I didn't select one on the exam in the space that called for it. I simply left it blank. I. am. a. runner. Period.
But, what if? Could I live with being a collector or a researcher? Since I've never even pondered it before, I think I know the answer. Usually kids in the program are given priority toward what their parents do, especially if that is what they request, but there are other factors, scores and such. Nobody knows the exact equation or algorithm they use to assign positions, but I've never really heard of anyone being very disappointed, so they must have a method figured out which works to satisfy the majority of residents.
Something else that's been bothering me is the fact that legally my parent is Cheryl, a cafeteria worker in the research labs. Could that work against me? I shiver at the thought of working in a cafeteria. I pick up my pace, trying to run the stress out, but my legs begin revolting and I'm forced to slow to a walk. I turn down the street Chuggers is on and I peek in the big front window as I pass. I see Evy sitting alone at a table toward the front of the place. I look around and don't see Alex anywhere so I decide to turn around and go in.
"Hey!"
Evy looks up at me. "Hi, Bek. Have a seat."
"Whatcha doing?" I ask as I sit.
"I was waiting for Greer, but it seems he's not showing," she says trying to not let the disappointment seep out, but I catch it anyway.
"So Greer, huh?"
She shrugs, "Yeah, well. Sorry about the party."
"It's fine. But, you and...a researcher?" Evy is wild and crazy, and I love her, but smart isn't a word I'd use to describe her.
She blushes and takes a sip from her water bottle. "I know. Weird, right? I suppose it doesn't matter anyway. He's clearly stood me up," she says, but checks her watch again for the second time since I arrived.
"Sorry, hon," I touch her hand.
"It's no big deal. Anyway, what happened with Alex?"
Now it's my turn to blush. "What did he say?"
"Just that you are a confusing chick."
"I feel bad that I sent him a mixed message. It's just that...I can't, you know? I wasn't thinking clearly at the time. I had a drink and I shouldn't have...I dunno. I thought for a second I could, but, I don't know why I thought that. Ugh. Now I've messed things up."
"Eh, he'll get over it."
"I hope so. Could you tell him I'm sorry?"
"You should do that yourself."
"I know. You're right. But, in case I don't see him."
Evy laughs, "In case, huh?"
"I'm scared, okay?" I admit
"Speaking of scared, tomorrow is the big day, huh?"
"Yeah. Are you nervous?"
"I've felt like puking all day," Evy says. "You?"
"Same."
"At least you know what to expect. You know what I put down as my first choice?"
"No. What?" It surprised me we'd never discussed this before now.
"Food."
"Food wouldn't be so bad," I lie.
She laughs at my attempt, "Food would be weird and you know it."
"Then why'd you write it?"
"Because I couldn't think of anything else."
"Well, there must be something to it then. Besides, we could use some new options. You can invent something with flavor. I'm sick of SoyBars."
I look up and see Greer come in and start for our table. I nudge Evy and nod toward the door and when she sees him, her face lights up.
"Well, I'll leave you two alone," I say, getting up.
"K. See you at the results tomorrow," she says, still watching Greer approach.
I nod to him as I leave Chuggers. On my way home, I think about stopping at Alex's apartment to talk to him, but I'd rather jump off the ridge, so I keep walking.
When I get in the door of my apartment, it's dark, which means Cheryl isn't home. I see something on the kitchen table with a note.
"Happy Birthday, Bekkaroo!
Wish I could celebrate with you but it's bowling night.
Love, Muma"
A cake. I cut a large slice and take it to the couch. Cake is a big deal. It's something we don't get, ever. Most food is dry packed, in the shape of a brick and tastes like one too. Protein bars processed in the food factories, produced by plants they grow there, given chemically altered flavors. Cheryl went out of her way, and spent more than her job at the cafeteria can afford, for me to have this cake. I feel bad, but not bad enough to not eat it. I kick my shoes off, put my feet up, and eat my eighteenth birthday cake alone in a dark apartment.
Zane
"Zane?"
"Yeah?"
"You awake?"
"No."
"Oh. Okay."
"I'm kidding, Harmond," I say quietly from the darkness of the bottom bunk.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Go ahead."
"Did you?"
"Did I what?"
"You know...with Bekka Tyson."
"No."
"Oh. Sorry about, you know..."
"It's okay. I mean, it's not your fault."
"It's just that Officer Fulton said..."
"He lied to you."
"Why?"
"I don't know."
"Can I ask you something else?"
"Okay."
"What is the deal with you two?"
"Me and Fulton?"
"No. You and Bekka. I mean, I know you guys are close."
"Yep."
"And?"
"And what? That's all." I roll over, close my eyes and try to sleep. Again.
But Harmond isn’t done yet. "So, do you think that I'd...you know, ever have a chance with her?"
I sigh to myself. "With Bekka?"
"Uh. huh."
"No."
"Oh."
"Not because of you, James...because of her. Bekka's only focus in life is being a runner."
"Everyone knows that," he says.
"Then you also know that runners don't get the option to fall in love."
"Oooh," Harmond says. "Right."
Harmond is quiet for a long time and so am I.
Then he says, "Such a waste."
"Yeah...it is." I agree.
Chapter 8
Bekka
I still feel like puking when I wake up, but at least the wait will be over soon. I wash and dress quietly and sneak out, avoiding Cheryl's birthday dramatics. I just want to get there before a huge crowd forms around the bulletin board.
As soon as I get close to the City Center courtyard though, I see that I had the same idea as everyone else. Kids from this phase of the program in all of the schools throughout the city are listed on the same day, so the board is packed and people are spilling out of the courtyard waiting for a turn to look at the assignments. There were only a few dozen of us in my school, but I don't know how many in the others, and since this is the only way it's announced, sometimes half the city turns out for the excitement.
I impatiently inch my way through the crowd and get into the queue. I'm sweating and irritable and feel like yelling at everyone that I should get to see the results before Bob the garbage hauler, but I don't because rationally I know I shouldn't. Instead, I look around for Evy. I'm sure she's with Greer but I don't see his purple hair anywhere in the crowd.
My heart is racing as I get closer. I'm finally able to make out words on the small sheet of paper that is tacked up to the corkboard, but they are too tiny for me to figure anything out from this far back. It's pointless, yet I continue to strain my eyes in an attempt to discern the letters written on the paper as I wait for the hoard to push me closer.
I see Alex about two rows ahead of me and to my left slightly. He is closest to the board now and though there is a sea of people between us, he turns and his eyes fall directly on me. He switches back to looking at the posting and then back at me. His facial expression is unusual and hard to read and I'm not sure if he is reacting to the board or to what happened at the party, but I start to feel really sick.
There is another surge and I'm bumped ahead in the line. I seek out Alex again but he is a wash in the crowd. I adjust to my new space and focus back toward the board. There are only a few people in front of me now and I'm finally able to see my name within the others on the list. I follow the column to the right with my eyes and then I see it, the word running parallel to my name. Espionage. My stomach heaves and I wait until I am directly in front of the paper to trace the line from my name to the assignment. It doesn't change. It still says Espionage. Bekka Tyson----------------------Espionage. There it is, in black and white. Everytime I read it, it says the same thing.
I struggle and push myself from the crowd and collapse on to the fake green turf lining the courtyard. I pull my knees to my chest and bury my head between them. I don't understand.
I hear someone yelling my name. I look up and see Evy coming toward me. Her face is distorted. "Bek!" she yells. "What the hell is going on? You got espionage?!"
I realize then I didn't even get a chance to see what Evy was assigned.
"I don't understand," I hear myself say. "What did you get?"
"I got runner!" She collapses next to me.
"What? This must be a mistake! Maybe they confused us? We should go talk to the Dean. Maybe he'll switch us." I feel hopeful all of a sudden.
"Yeah. I can't be a runner. I'm in love with Greer. But, espionage? That's scary. I don't know if I want that job either. I don't even know what that means."
"Me neither." I feel sicker than when I left the house this morning.
Zane
I wake up feeling better than I have all week. My bruises are fading and I'm not that sore anymore. I head to Fulton's office before he has to leave for training sessions. He's sitting at his desk with a stack of paperwork in front of him. He glances up at me for a second and then keeps writing.