Running Blind (13 page)

D
arkness. Silence. Throbbing pain. Jenna tried to open her eyes, but they were sealed shut, the blackness so complete that she knew she was blind again.

She twisted, trying to free herself from the bonds around her wrists and ankles. Twisted again and fell, her eyes flying open as she landed with a thud on the hardwood floor.

Breathless, she scrambled to her feet. She wasn't blind, wasn't bound. The living room of John's guest suite looked exactly the same as it had when he and Nikolai had left.

How long ago had that been?

She glanced at her watch. It was nearly eight, but was it morning or night?

She crossed the room and pulled the curtains open, squinting as bright sunlight streamed into the window. Morning. Of course. She was supposed to attend the reading of the will in a few hours. She'd have dinner with the Romero family after that. Nikolai had mentioned breakfast, but she doubted he'd remember. He was probably home sleeping, resting after a long night of running to Jenna's rescue. Just the thought of her desperate phone call made her blush.

She turned away from the window, freezing when someone knocked on the door. “Yes?”

“Jen? It's Nikolai.”

Surprised, she opened the door.

Freshly shaven, his hair damp, Nikolai smelled of mint and
soap and something indefinable, masculine and completely intriguing.

“What are you doing here?”

“We had a breakfast date, remember?”

“A date?”

“Unless you'd like to call it something else.”

“How about we just call it breakfast?”

“Whatever works.” He glanced around, his gaze settling on the sofa and the blanket that had fallen onto the floor beside it. “Did you just wake up?”

“Yes. I thought you were coming at nine.”

“That was the plan.”

“But?”

“I figured I'd come over a little early and keep an eye on things.”

“You were in the backyard watching the house?”

“I was in the backyard drinking coffee.” He held up a thick ceramic mug. “The housekeeper arrived a few minutes after I showed up and offered me some.”

“Smells good.”

“Want it? I've had plenty.” He offered the mug, and Jenna shook her head. Drinking out of the same coffee cup seemed much too intimate.

“No, thanks.” She brushed a hand down her flannel pajama bottoms, wishing she'd thought to throw the blanket around her shoulders. Not that Nikolai hadn't already seen her in her pajamas.

“Did anything happen after I left last night?” He settled onto the couch, his dark gaze tracking Jenna's movements as she sat on the arm of the recliner.

“Aside from me falling asleep two seconds after you walked out the door? No.”

“You still look tired. Why don't you rest for a while longer?”

“I'll be fine. I just need to take a shower and get dressed. Then we can go.”

“I'll wait outside until you're done.” He stood, stretching to his full height, his T-shirt pulling tight against taut abs. Not gym muscles, real muscles. The kind guys earned by working hard and playing harder.

The kind any woman would find distracting.

The kind Jenna really shouldn't be staring at.

She blushed, turning her back to Nikolai and pretending to wipe dust from the spotless sofa table. “Maybe this isn't a good idea.”

“Sure it is. We both need to eat.” He spoke matter-of-factly as he walked to the door.

“I just don't want either of us to get any ideas.”

“About what?”

“You. Me. Breakfast dates.”

“So you're thinking we may go on more than one?” He smiled, and Jenna's face heated again.

“I don't believe in playing games, Nikolai.”

“Neither do I.”

“Good, because I've been down this road before. Meeting someone, falling for him—”

“You're saying you're falling for me?” He raised a dark brow, and Jenna scrambled to backtrack.

“I'm saying that I don't
want
to fall for you, and I'm not going to and you need to know that up front.”

“All right.” He put his hand on the doorknob, ready, it seemed, to end the conversation.

And Jenna should have been ready to end it, too.

Should have been.

“That's it? Just, ‘all right'?”

“Should I say something more?”

“I guess not.” Although, she'd thought he would.

“Then how about you get ready, we'll go to breakfast as we planned, and we'll let things play out the way they will?”

“Just as long as we understand each other,” she mumbled as she hurried into the bedroom, shut the door and pressed her hot forehead to it. What had she been thinking, talking
to Nikolai like that? It wasn't as if he'd given any indication that he was pursuing her.

She heard the door open and close and knew Nikolai had walked outside. Relieved, she grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom, glancing in the mirror and frowning at her reflection. She looked too pale, her hair garishly red, her pajamas hanging from her too-skinny frame.

And she'd stood bold as brass in front of Nikolai and told him that she had no intention of falling for him.

He'd probably been horrified by the idea that she might; relieved that she didn't plan to. He certainly wouldn't have been looking at the woman Jenna saw in the mirror, thinking that he wished she'd fall into his arms.

She showered and dressed quickly, slid her feet into sneakers and opened the door. The morning was bright, the sun splashing down onto the lush green lawn. She took a deep breath of the cool spring air, glancing around, but not seeing Nikolai. Had he gone around to the front of the house?

“Jenna! We're over here,” a voice called out, but it wasn't Nikolai's. She turned and spotted John walking around the side of the house, Nikolai by his side.

“Are we all going to breakfast together?” As irritated as she'd been with John the previous night, it might be good to have him around. Anything to distract her from looking too deeply into Nikolai's eyes.

“I wish I could, but I'm spending some time with Ben this morning.”

“I thought your parents were taking him to the park,” Nikolai said, and John stiffened.

“I don't know what your problem is, Jansen, but I really wish you'd stop trying to catch me in a lie.”

“You did say your parents were taking Ben to the park,” Jenna cut in, hoping to head off an argument.

“They planned to, but he woke up crying for Magdalena this morning. We felt it would better if I went along with everyone else.”

“I'm glad you're going to spend time with him. He really needs you right now.” Despite knowing that John loved his son, Jenna hadn't seen him spending much time with Benjamin during the past few days. She'd chalked it up to grief and stress, and it seemed she'd been right. Now that the funeral was over, John seemed more in tune with his son's needs.

“I know. He's only three, and he just doesn't get that his mother isn't coming back. I'll bet he'd love to spend some time with you. A woman close to Magdalena's age might be just the thing he needs to cheer him up. Would you like to come to the park with us?”

“Nikolai and I are going out to breakfast.”

“Come when you're done, if you'd like. It's not far from here. Just three blocks north.”

“All right.”

“Why don't I drive you there when we're finished? I wanted a few minutes to talk to John, anyway. You don't mind, do you, John?” Nikolai asked, but Jenna was sure he had every intention of going to the park and asking the questions whether John agreed or not.

“Sure. We can all come back to the house together when we're done. Magdalena's lawyer will be here at three to read the will and several of her friends will be showing up early for that.”

“It's still so hard to believe she's gone.” Jenna spoke quietly, the words barely carrying through the quiet morning air.

“I don't think I do believe it. Maybe in a few more days or a few weeks when she doesn't come walking through the door, I'll finally believe she's not coming home.”

“It's hard to get used to a world without someone you love in it.” For once, Nikolai sounded like he sympathized with John.

“That's for sure.” John offered a smile that was barely there before it was gone. “I'd better get back in the house. Benjamin will wonder where I am.”

“I'll see you in a couple of hours,” Jenna called out as he
turned away, and he waved before disappearing around the side of the house.

“Ready?” Nikolai pressed a hand to Jenna's lower back, urging her toward the front of the house.

“Maybe I should stay and see if there's something I can do to comfort Ben.”

“Does he know you well?”

“Not really. We've only seen each other a handful of times.”

“Then it might be disconcerting for him to have you there.”

“What do you mean?”

“To a little boy who is looking for his mother, another woman might seem like a replacement. I would have said the same to Romero, but I doubted he'd want to hear my advice.”

“Maybe not, but I think you're probably right. I just really wish there was some way I could help.”

“The best way you can help is to let Ben's family meet his needs. I know it's difficult to do. You loved your friend, and you want to comfort her child, but in the end, only his family can replace the love and stability that have suddenly vanished from his life.”

“You sound like you've been in a similar position.”

“I've lost friends, if that's what you mean.” He opened his car door, waiting as she slid into the passenger seat.

“More than one?”

“I'm a Marine. Not all of my comrades made it home from the war. Some of them had wives and kids. All of them had family.”

“I'm sorry.” She looked into his eyes, saw a sadness that didn't show on his face, and reached to touch his hand.

“Me, too, but death is a fact of life, and we'd be fools to think that it would never touch us.” He turned his hand, capturing hers, his thumb running along the inside of her wrist. Heat shot up her arm, and her pulse jumped.

And she was a teenager again, feeling that first quick leap of chemistry, the first realization that she was growing up and changing and wanting more than she'd ever wanted before.

She tugged her hand from Nikolai's, grabbed the door handle and started to pull it closed.

He put his hand on the window, stopping its momentum. “Does what you feel scare you, Jenna?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I thought you didn't play games.”

“I don't.”

He nodded, releasing the door, letting her pull it closed.

Letting her stew in her own juices.

A good tactic, but one Jenna didn't much appreciate at the moment.

He slid into the car, not saying a word as he pulled away from the Romero home.

A minute passed, then five, neither of them speaking, until finally Jenna couldn't take the silence any longer. “I'm not playing games, Nikolai.”

“I don't think I said you were.”

“You implied it.”

“I implied that you weren't being honest about how you feel. If that's game playing to you, then maybe it is what you're doing.”

“How I feel about what? You?”

“That was the direction of the conversation, so, yes.” His accent had thickened, and Jenna could almost imagine him as a young teen in a new country, his native language adding color and depth to the new language he was learning.

“We just met.”

“What does length of time have to do with anything?”

“It seems as if it should.”

“You don't believe in love at first sight?”

“The first time I saw you, I didn't actually
see
you. And, no, I don't believe in love at first sight.”

“Then chemistry, connection, attraction?” He pulled into
the parking lot of a busy diner, parking the car in a space near the front of the building.

“Those things are fleeting, Nikolai. They don't last.”

“Not always.”

But sometimes they did. He didn't say it, but the idea was there, the thought hanging in the air between them. Maybe this time it would. Maybe this time, chemistry, connection and attraction would lead to something deeper and more lasting.

“I've been in love before. It didn't work out. I'm not sure I ever want to go there again.”

“Funny,” he said, eyeing her with an intensity that made her squirm.

“What?”

“I didn't take you for a quitter.”

“I'm not.”

“Then why are you throwing in the towel after one bad experience?”

“I'm…” She was going to say
not
again, but, of course, she was.

“Look, I'm not saying that we're going to fall madly in love, get married, have kids and grow old together.” He didn't even look away as he said those things. “I'm just saying that we're here together, and I don't see any reason not to explore what we feel.”

“Generally, what I feel when we're together is terror. Because, generally, when we're together, someone is trying to kill me, and you're saving my life.”

He laughed, the sound rumbling out into the car as he opened the door.

“You can laugh all you want, but I don't think it's a good time for us to be
exploring
anything.”

“If we wait for the right time to do things, we'll sit twiddling our thumbs as life passes us by. Speaking of which, I don't know about you, but I'm hungry.” He closed the door and was around the car before Jenna had time to think of a response.

It was probably for the best.

The fact was, she'd never been one to sit around waiting for things to happen. When she'd wanted something, she'd gone after it. Whether that was a trophy at a gymnastics meet or a grade in school, she'd pursued it with zeal. When she'd met Ryan, she'd pursued their relationship the same way, planning and plotting how their future would play out.