Running Away With You (Running #3) (39 page)

“That would be cheating, my pet.  The only word I can think of is clavichord, but that has ten letters,” Auggie laments.

“Just look it up and move on.  It’s not cheating if you only look up one word,” I tell him.

“The word is harpsichord, and it’s still called cheating, even if you only do it once.” 

Auggie and I turn toward the voice, and standing in the entrance to the kitchen is Evan.  He’s freshly showered and he smells heavenly.  My body recognizes him as its other half, and I feel a strong urge to run up to him and hug him.  Auggie must sense my discomfort, because he places a strong hand on my leg, holding me firmly in place.

Auggie tries to break the ice. “Good morning, Evan.”

Evan returns the gesture. “Auggie, nice to see you.” 

Evan says nothing to me. He walks over to the cabinet and finds a mug so he can fix himself a cup of coffee.  “They make terrible coffee at the Hilton,” he grumbles.

He keeps his distance, but again speaks around me.  “Auggie, if you don’t mind, Juliette and I have a lot to discuss.”

I get up and walk over to the foyer, grab my keys, and hand them to Auggie.  “Here, take my car.  I’ll get it from you later.”

Auggie leans in to hug me and whispers in my ear, “I can stay if you like.”

“No,” I tell him.  I look at Evan when I tell Auggie, “I’ll be okay.”

Where There’s Smoke, There’s Fire

O
nce Auggie leaves, Evan brings his coffee into the living room and takes a seat on the sofa.  I take that as a cue that I’m supposed to follow him.  I sit directly across from him, point the remote at the television, and hit mute.

Neither of us says anything right away.  I can’t help but stare at his hand, still tightly bandaged from the sprain.  God, how I wish none of this ever happened.

Evan speaks first. “I’m here because I believe in second chances.  Our entire relationship is built on second chances.  I know I didn’t really give you an opportunity to explain, so here I am.”

“Well, I guess I should start at the beginning, then.”  I hurry into the bedroom to gather up the only evidence I still have, the second photo David sent me.  The same one Adam discovered nearly three weeks ago.  I place it on the table, still in the envelope, and tell Evan to open it and take a look.

He swipes the envelope from the table, opens the flap, and slides the glossy photo out of its sleeve.  His eyes grow wide when he realizes what he’s holding.  He looks at me, then back at the photo.  “Turn it over,” I tell him.  He reads it and I can see him seething. 

Evan places the picture back in its sleeve and tosses it onto the table.  “I’ve seen this before,” he tells me.

“That’s not possible.”

Evan gets up, leaves the room, and walks silently into his office.  I hear drawers opening and closing.  Moments later, Evan comes back with an envelope of his own.  He tosses it onto the table and my heart actually stops.  The writing on the front is identical.  The address is written in scratchy uppercase printing that I recognize immediately.

“He sent you one too.”  It’s not a question, it’s a statement.  I already know the answer.

Evan shakes his head.  “How many did he send you?”

There’s the one I gave to Auggie and the one Derek found.  “This one and two others,” I tell him.  “And you?”

“Just this one,” he tells me.  “But he said he had more.”

The tension in the room is so thick you could cut it with a knife.  Evan sits quietly, considering my disclosure.  I want him to run to me, wrap me up in his arms, and tell me it will be all right.  As he gets up from the couch, my hope quickly fades when instead of moving toward me, he walks away, pacing around the room with his fingers tangled in his hair.

Evan stops and looks at me, showing no hint of expression.  I can’t tell if he’s angry, upset, or calm.  It’s unnerving. 

“Did you pay him?” he wants to know.

I nod.

“How much?”

“Ten thousand the first time, another ten thousand the second,” I admit.

He’s taking deep breaths.  His mouth is pressed into a hard line and his hands are balled into tight fists that he flexes over and over.  Slowly, he looks up at me and speaks, choosing his words very carefully.  “Where did you get the money?”

“It doesn’t matter,” I tell him.

“Everything matters,” he blurts out.  “The smallest details matter.  If I’m going to fix this, I need to know everything.  You know I’m going to find out, so you may as well just tell me.  Where did you get the fucking money?”

“For the first ten thousand, I sold my earrings – the diamond teardrop earrings from Tiffany’s.”

He nods over and over. “You sold
my
earrings, Juliette.  The ones I bought for you, that you wore to our grand opening.  The same ones you wore to the Snowflake Ball.  The very earrings I hoped to see you wearing on our wedding day.  Do you have any idea how much those earrings meant to me?  And you threw them away, just like that?”

“I know.  I screwed up.”

“And the second pay-off?  Where did that money come from?” he asks, beginning to pace again.

“Derek,” I tell him.

He stops dead in his tracks, turns and looks at me again.  I want to disappear, melt into the cushions and hide. 

“I’m sorry, but did you say Derek?” he repeats.

“Yes.”

“You confided in
him
.  You trusted
him
.  You turned to
him
when you should have turned to me – again!”

“I’m sorry,” I tell him, hoping he can see the desperation and sincerity in my eyes.  “I didn’t go to him, he found out.  I never wanted him to find out.  I never wanted Adam or Auggie to find out either, but they did,” I shout back.

“Adam knows all of this?” Evan asks.

I can’t betray Adam like this.  It’s not fair.  I don’t know how to answer him honestly and protect Adam at the same time.

“Just tell me, Juliette.  I’m going to find out one way or another.”

“Yes.  He went with me to make the trade in Denver.”

“Of course he did.  And neither one of you thought it might be a good idea to tell me about any of this?  Did the thought ever enter your mind?  You had to know I was going to find out eventually.”

“I’m sorry.”

“And the third? You said there were three.” He pushes for an answer.  “How much did you pay him for the third?”

“I couldn’t pay him.  I had no more money.”

He doesn’t respond right away.  After what feels like an eternity, he asks the question at the heart the problem.  “He made you pay in another way, didn’t he?”

“Yes.  I mean no.  He wanted me to, but I didn’t.  I swear Evan, I didn’t.  I couldn’t do it.”

“It was his hat I found in your room.  You invited him into your bedroom.  Did he touch you?”

“Yes, but ... ”

He picks up the ceramic vase holding the amaryllis flowers he gave me and sends it flying across the room, smashing it into tiny pieces. It frightens Maddy and she runs to the bedroom to hide.  “God damn it, Juliette.  You should have told me.  It’s my job to protect you.”

His tone changes to one of disgust.  “I can’t be here.  I can’t pretend that what you did is okay, because it’s not.  You had so many choices.  So many opportunities to do the right thing.” 

He doesn’t understand.  He’s not even trying to see it through my eyes.  My voice cracks as I hotly defend myself.  “I didn’t ask to be blackmailed, Evan.  I didn’t ask to be videotaped without my permission.  I didn’t want this. I didn’t want any of it.  I’m sorry if I didn’t handle it the right way, but I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“The right thing?!” he shouts at me.  “You thought keeping secrets from me, lying, and inviting your perverted maniacal ex-boyfriend into your bedroom was the solution?  You turned to Derek once again, when it was me you should have come to.  Explain to me how that makes any sense, because right now, I’m having a lot of trouble understanding.”

Maddy slinks slowly out of the bedroom and places herself between us.  She senses the growing hostility and anger and she doesn’t like it any more than I do.

“Remember how you reacted when you thought Ryker and I were ... you know?  I was afraid of your reaction.  I was afraid you might ... I don’t know ... do something.”

“So this is my fault now?” he challenges.

“No, I’m not saying that.  What I’m trying to say is that I was afraid.  I was afraid of your reaction if I told you.  I was afraid of what would happen to your career and my restaurant if he went public with this.  I was afraid that you wouldn’t be able to look at me the same way after seeing those videos.”  As the tears begin to flow freely, I tell him by biggest fear.  “I was afraid you would look at me the way you’re looking at me right now.”

“You didn’t trust me,” he states flatly.

“You didn’t trust me, either,” I remind him.  “I’m not the only one keeping secrets.”

“No, you’re not.  But I never invited another woman up to my hotel room.  And I never even thought about allowing anyone else into my bed.”

Evan gets up, grabs his keys and walks out the door.  His words hurt me badly, as truthful and honest as they may be.  But seeing him walk away from me hurts a thousand times worse.

I
spend the majority of the day avoiding ... well ... everyone. 

I don’t know how people do it, how they live with themselves and carry on as if nothing has changed.  Everything has changed. 

The guilt is weighing heavily on me like a dark cloud.  It feels like I have a tattoo across my forehead that reads,
Liar, cheater, fraud
.  Evan has every right to be mad.  I may not have slept with David, but I was unfaithful.  I invited him into my bed.  He watched me undress.  He touched me.  I crossed the line.  I let it go too far.  I fucked up, royally.

The workout room is my perfect retreat.  I turn on the television and, for the first time ever, I violate Evan’s strict policy forbidding anyone to turn off ESPN.  Flipping through the channel guide, I settle on one of my favorite uplifting movies,
Pitch Perfect
.  It’s got a great soundtrack and the surround-sound speakers fill the room with music.

I can lose myself here for hours.  The side of the room facing the beach is wrapped in large windows, giving me a panoramic view of the ocean.  It’s beginning to snow and the water is eerily calm.  The slow and constant ebb and flow of the waves helps soothe my frayed nerves.  In no time at all, I realize my breathing has matched the roll of the tide.

The room is full of equipment.  Everywhere I look, I see ghostly images of Evan working out on each and every one of them.  I can picture him on the rowing machine, flexing his muscles as he moves gracefully forward and back, over and over again.  If I close my eyes, I can smell him, his uniquely masculine scent dripping with testosterone and virility. 

I need to run, even if running here on the treadmill literally gets me nowhere.  I discover that if I slow my pace just right, I can sing along with the Bellas as they perform on the screen.  I know the words to every song by heart, and there is no one here to judge me when I’m off-key. 

There was a time when I could barely string together a coherent sentence as I ran; now I’m singing an entire song, chorus and all.

It’s hard to focus on any one thing – the plot, the songs, or even the stats on the treadmill.  My eyes wander around the room. Sometimes I lose all traces of thought as I gaze out the wall of windows. 

I never bothered to look out any of the other windows on either side of the room.  There is no competing with the view of the ocean.  But I have a new reason to look out one window in particular; my new neighbors.  I have a birds-eye view of Derek’s house.  There are two cars parked in the driveway.  I recognize one as Derek’s and I surmise the owner of the small SUV is Shea.  It’s been parked there all day. 

I’m so glad he’s found someone to share his life with, but I can’t help but wonder if Shea will become a part of Evan’s life as well.  Solving the mystery of Kai’s parentage has been put on the back burner – indefinitely.

I think it’s time to change to the spinning bike.  The moment I climb onto the machine, it’s obvious its settings are primed for someone much larger.  My feet barely reach the pedals and the handlebars are entirely too high for me.  I hop off and begin to fumble with the adjustments, doing my best to estimate the proper height and distances.  Before getting back on, I pause the movie, grab my water bottle, and head downstairs for an icy-cold refill.