Run to Me (22 page)

“Sorry, it’s been a long time since I went on a picnic.”

“Don’t apologize. It looks wonderful. I just don’t know if I can do it justice.”

Grabbing a cracker from the plate she’d put in front of him, he said, “Eat what you want. I can carry the rest back.”

“Okay.” She leaned forward and grabbed something from the basket. “Think I’ll go with this first.”

Ethan’s chest tightened as he watched her bite into a fudgy brownie. He must have made some sort of a sound because she stopped in the middle of taking another bite.

“What’s wrong? Why are you looking like that?”

He moved his head back and forth in wonder. “Even though you don’t remember a lot of your life, Shea Monroe is definitely coming back.”

“What do you mean?”

“Whenever you could, you always ate dessert first. Your reasoning was, ‘Why wait for the good stuff?’ ”

She looked delighted at this new knowledge. “Really?” Taking another bite, she swallowed and said, “There’s so much stuff you can tell me about myself. You probably know me better than anyone.”

Apparently noticing something in his face, she rushed on, “Surely it can’t hurt to tell me some of my habits or idiosyncrasies.”

“You hate broccoli, but you love spinach.”

She covered her mouth to stifle a soft snort. “Any other scintillating details?”

Ethan lay back on the blanket, stared up at the flawless sky, and remembered. “You like sappy romances and chick flicks, but hate war and horror movies. At the theater, you’d always buy popcorn and chocolate-covered raisins and eat them together. Your favorite flower is the daisy, your favorite tree is the weeping willow. You’re afraid of spiders, but if you found one in the house, you’d always call me to put it outside. You can ice-skate and snow-ski like a gazelle and swim like a fish. You love to watch football and basketball games, both college and pro. Baseball make you sleepy, hockey makes you cringe. And you suck at golf.”

“Wow.”

Hearing the thick emotion in that one word, he glanced over at her. “What’s wrong?”

Her throat worked as she swallowed hard. “I know it’s silly, but knowing those kinds of things means so much. Most of my memories so far have been so hideous.”

“I’m sorry, Shea. I should have told you sooner.”

Her eyes gleaming with tears, she smiled. “You’re telling me now. That’s all that matters.”

Hoping to lighten the mood, he gave her another fact. “You sing like a crazed hyena.”

“I do not!”

“The neighbor’s dogs howled every time you sang.”

Another soft snort.

He smiled at the familiar sound. “Oh, and you snort when you disagree with something.”

“I do not.”

Propping his head on his hand, he turned toward her. “You also love to argue.”

“No, I don’t—” She caught herself and giggled. “Okay, maybe a little.”

Ethan lay back and closed his eyes, allowing the music of her soft laughter to sink into his soul. Yes, he knew almost everything there was to know about Shea Monroe. Her likes and dislikes, her politics and beliefs, the little quirks he’d sometimes found irritating but most of the time endearing. He knew her open and loving nature, her fiery temper, and the special place on her body that required only a slight pinch before he had her screaming in orgasm.

He also knew who and what had once destroyed her. A bastard named Ethan Bishop.

Propped up on her left arm, Shea blew out a long breath of contentment. Stuffed from all the food Ethan had crammed into the picnic basket, she was pleased that her appetite was returning but felt as though she wouldn’t want food for at least another week.

Ethan lay next to her, eyes closed, looking more relaxed than she’d ever seen him. She already knew he didn’t sleep much. Every time she woke from a nightmare, he was there. She smiled down at him, in awe of his kindness. Saving her life, taking care of her, opening his home to her and protecting her. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he cared deeply for her. Which made her wonder. Why had they ended their relationship?

She opened her mouth to ask, then caught herself. If he was sleeping, the last thing she wanted to do was wake him. He needed his rest as much as she did.

Stifling a yawn, Shea fought the temptation to take a nap, too. Surrounded by giant trees, blooming summer flowers, and the sweet scent of wild honeysuckle, she wanted to stay awake and relish the beauty. If she slept, she might miss something.

The gurgling of the little stream a few yards away called to her. Wading in the cold water sounded heavenly. She shot one more look at Ethan. He hadn’t moved a muscle. Slipping her shoes on, she got to her feet and tiptoed away. Her heart clip-clopped in anticipation, as if this were a major event. Playing in the water just seemed so innocent and carefree.

Perched on a giant rock, Shea slid her shoes off and plunged her feet in. She caught herself with a gasping squeal and jerked back out.
Oh man, that’s cold.
More hesitant this time, she dipped her toes in, then out. Her skin acclimating quickly, she plunged her feet in again, kicking and splashing like a kid.

“Shea!”

Startled at the alarm in Ethan’s voice, she twisted around and shouted, “Down here.”

Within seconds, he appeared at the top of the small hill and stalked toward her. She’d often thought he looked like a thundercloud when he was angry. The expression on his face now made his thundercloud expression look like a fluffy cloud. He was furious.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m just playing in the water.”

“Get your ass up here.”

Her spine stiffened. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. You’ve got someone dying to grab you again and you go off on your own like that. Are you crazy?”

She waved a hand at the quiet serenity of their surroundings. “I really doubt that Rosemount is going to jump out from behind a bush.”

“You don’t know that. Didn’t I tell you not to go off on your own?”

By now, Ethan stood directly in front of her. Shea jumped to her feet and glared up at him. Inches from his face, she could almost feel the heat of his fury.

“Stop snarling and treating me like a three-year-old. I was just a few feet from you.”

“Well, that’s not going to do you a whole lot of good when a bullet hits you, is it?”

“If you think he’s going to shoot me, then you shouldn’t be close to me.”

“Why?”

Now as angry as he was, she snapped, “Because I don’t want him to shoot you, you moron!”

Ethan’s hands grabbed her shoulders and shook her hard. “You listen to me. When I tell you to do something, I expect you to obey. Understand?”

“How dare you,” she gritted between clenched teeth. “I just left one master. I’ll damned well not have another one.”

“Dammit, I’m trying to take care of you.”

Shea pressed her lips together to prevent another snarling response. Fine, so he was trying to protect her, but did he have to be such an ass? She settled for a glare, almost daring him to come up with another smart comment.

His eyes raging with more emotion than she’d ever seen from him, Ethan jerked against her and slammed his mouth onto hers. Shocked, she didn’t respond for a millisecond. Then, recognizing that this was exactly what she’d wanted for days, she wrapped her arms around him. Pressing closer, she opened her mouth and invited him in.

A ragged groan came from Ethan as his tongue plunged deep, as if he couldn’t get enough of her. Shea gloried in the hot, wild sensation. He had treated her gently for so long. Even when he’d growled at her, he’d acted as if she were fragile and breakable. Now she was simply a woman in his arms, and she loved the feeling.

Thrusting his tongue deeper, Ethan grabbed her hips and pressed her against him, the steel hardness of his erection creating an unbearable ache. A soft sob rose inside her that was smothered, then devoured, by his ravaging mouth. Shea lifted up on her toes and matched the center of her sex to his arousal and rubbed back and forth. Her actions elicited another groan from him, this time sounding tortured and sexy.

His mouth moved from hers and traveled down her face, then to her neck, where he nibbled lightly, his teeth scraping against her skin. Arching into his embrace, Shea savored the feel of his mouth on her skin, the chafe of his beard stubble an erotic thrill. When his lips reached the V-neck of her shirt, she gasped, hoping he’d go further, not daring to believe he would. A button popped and his mouth covered the open space. Thrusting her chest toward his mouth, wordlessly she told him exactly what she wanted. When his mouth covered her breast, she swallowed a silent cry of need.

“Shea … ?”

Raising her hands to his head, Shea threaded her fingers through his hair and undulated against his body. “I’m yours, Ethan. Don’t you know that?”

Moving his mouth to her other breast, Ethan gently bit her nipple. Shock waves pulsed, desire spiraled, hot and wild, shooting sparks through her body and igniting a wildfire of need.

“Please, oh please …” Shea distantly realized she was pleading, groaning. She didn’t care. Her body remembered Ethan and wanted him with a desperation that would be terrifying if it didn’t feel so wonderful.

Hot green eyes, glazed with a burning intensity, looked down at her. “You’re sure?”

Relief and excitement clashed. “Yes.”

Calloused hands slid under her shirt, caressing her midriff, they made a slow glide toward her breasts. Nipples peaking in anticipation, Shea closed her eyes and let desire take over.

A distant sound barely penetrated her senses. Ethan stiffened. Raising his head, he gripped her hard with his hands as his eyes combed the woods surrounding them. Another sound came, and this time Shea recognized it. A gunshot.

Before she could speak, Ethan scooped her up in his arms and was carrying her up the hill.

“Ethan, wait.”

“We’ve got to get out of here.”

“No. Listen. It’s at least half a mile from here. It’s probably someone hunting.”

His big body vibrating with tension, he stopped and listened. Another shot, sounding even more distant.

Dropping her gently onto the blanket, Ethan drew in a ragged breath.

She gestured around them. “We’re fine. See? No one’s around.”

“We need to go.”

His cool tone and granite-hard face shocked her. What had happened to the wild, aroused man?

“What? Why?”

Without answering, he went back for her shoes and dropped them in front of her. As she slid them on, he turned his back to her and repacked the basket, haphazardly throwing in plates, glasses, and food.

“Ethan, what’s wrong?”

When he didn’t answer, she reached out a tentative hand and touched his arm.

Ethan twisted away from her. “I said, we need to go.”

Shea snatched her hand back and stood. In silence, she picked up the blanket and folded it into a neat square. Ethan took it from her, grabbed her hand, and started walking.

“The least you can do is tell me what’s wrong. Why are you acting this way?”

His jaw was clenched tight, and Shea knew he was going through emotions she had no understanding of. What had made him switch from tender, passionate lover to this cold-blooded stranger?

“Dammit, talk to me.”

He whirled her around so fast, she stumbled and slammed into his chest. He caught her, held her at a distance. “Let it go, Shea.”

“No, I’m not going to let it go. What happened? We were seconds from making love and then you turn into a snarling bear. I have a right to know why you’re acting this way.”

“Fine. I’m angry at myself. I should never have kissed you.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s wrong. Okay?”

“Why is it wrong?” Nausea churned in her stomach as a hideous thought occurred to her. She told herself Ethan wasn’t that shallow, but she couldn’t prevent the words. “Is it because of what Rosemount did?”

“Not the reasons you think.”

“Then, how?”

“You feel some sort of gratitude to me for rescuing you. I should never have taken advantage of you.”

“You jerk. Gratitude had nothing to do with my response. I wanted you.”

“You’re too vulnerable right now. You sure as hell don’t need me pawing all over you.”

“Don’t you understand? I wanted you. After all that’s happened, to know I can feel desire … that I’m not afraid … is amazing and thrilling.”

His strides still eating up the ground, Shea quickened up her pace to keep up with him, anger and hurt giving her extra energy.

He stopped so abruptly, Shea almost slammed into his back. He turned and looked down at her. “I’m glad you can feel that. More than you’ll ever know. But nothing can happen between us. Not now … not ever.”

“Why not?”

“Because, dammit, it can’t.”

“I deserve an explanation, don’t you think?”

Looking as if he was on his last thread of patience, he snarled, “Fine. You want to know why we can’t be together, I’ll tell you. I broke your heart, Shea. When we were together, you wanted more and I couldn’t give it. I couldn’t do it then, and I can’t do it now.”

“Why?”

“Hell, woman, do I have to spell it out? I fucked you for as long as I wanted to and then, when you wanted more, I told you to get lost.” He pulled her till her nose was inches from his. “I didn’t love you then. I don’t love you now. Is that clear enough?”

Ethan clicked on another site. Every morning he searched the Internet, looking for any hint of Rosemount. If he was getting most of his clients online, there had to be some way to identify him. LCR people were working this angle, too, but another pair of eyes couldn’t hurt. One way or another, Rosemount would be found.

His gut churned from too much coffee and mountains of regret; his eyes burned from no sleep. After the vile words he’d thrown at Shea yesterday, closing his eyes had been impossible. Every time he tried, the stricken look on her face blasted into his mind. Why the hell had he spewed those words at her?

He’d tried to apologize and had done a lousy job. His “I’m sorry, I was out of line” had gotten the response it deserved. She’d shrugged and said, “Hey, I asked for the truth.” They’d finished their return to the house in a thick, tense silence.