Rumors Among the Heather (30 page)

Now, after having
breakfasted, bathed, and washed her hair, she waited for Matthew to
return. Julie took a deep breath and prepared herself for his
accusations and biting words. It made her sad to think it would all
end this way. The future they’d talked about and planned would come
to nothing.

Why did he bother to
find me? It’s obvious he hates the sight of me and his child.

* * *

Matthew hesitantly
walked through the open door and into Julie’s room. She was nursing
the baby and did not immediately look up to see who entered. He
found the scene before him strangely upsetting, as he intruded on
something incredibly personal between Julie and the baby.

Julie never looked
more beautiful or more womanly than she did at this moment. He felt
the same old familiar need to hold her, feel her caress, to look
into the eyes of love once more. None of the speeches he had
prepared came to mind. He could do nothing but watch her and wait
for the baby to finish. When the time came, Maggie took the baby
away. He watched her place him in the cradle and leave before he
turned back around to face Julie.

Still no words would
come. The room filled with a painful tension and a silence bereft
of inspiration.

“My baby is beautiful,
don’t you think?”

The word
my
cut
Matthew like a knife being thrust into his side. She was not going
to make this easy for him, and in all truth, he knew he did not
deserve her forgiveness.

“Yes, he is very
beautiful. He looks like Ian when he was a baby. We have some
things to discuss. I—”

Julie held up her
hand. “Before you continue, Matthew, I want you to know I will not
stand for any more of your assaults on my character. I do not
understand why you are here. I think we said everything there was
to be said back at Angus’s camp.”

Momentarily stunned,
Matthew could think of nothing to say. She spoke to him calmly,
without malice. He heard resignation in her voice. The fire in her
eyes had gone out, no smile of tenderness when she looked at him,
and he found he missed those things like he would miss his right
hand if it were cut off. All she had experienced had taken a toll
on her, and he felt a sickening in the pit of his stomach.

“Why are you here,
Matthew? Surely nothing can be gained from coming here.”

“Julie, I had to see
you to make sure you were all right before I left for France.”

“As you can see, I’m
fine. My aunt has graciously agreed to take me in and also to
provide a home for my son.”

“When I get to France,
I can set up an annuity for you and our son. I could—”

“Matthew, please stop.
I don’t want your money. I will find another position as governess,
or maybe in a school so my son will receive a good education. I am
well able to take care of both of us. I don’t need your help. I
certainly do not need your guilt money,” Julie said.

“I know you can take
care of yourself. Do you not see that I
want
to take care of
you? It is the least I can do. I want to take care of you and my
son.”

“Don’t you mean me and
my unwanted child? Go away. Don’t insult me any more.”

“Julie, please don’t
use my own words against me. I know you have the right, and I don’t
blame you, but please hear me out. I do not expect your
forgiveness, but please listen to what I have to say. I promise the
only character I plan to assault is my own. I have never been more
wrong in my whole life than I was about you.

“The realization is
painfully clear to me now. Down deep in my heart I knew everything
I said to you had no truth in it. I was jealous of Hamilton for
knowing you first, and when he implied there was more than
friendship between you, I lost my head. He said you betrayed me. I
could see what happened between Ian’s mother and me happening all
over again. It took my losing you to make me see you are not like
her in any way. It was my own demons. Can you find it in your heart
to forgive me? Is the place I once held in your heart not still
there?”

“Matthew, you have put
me through an earthly hell. You come in here and expect me to
forgive you and forget all I have been through? You ask too much.
Love is only a balm for some wounds. There is a gulf between us
that is going to be hard to span,” Julie said dispassionately.

Losing hope and
clutching at straws, Matthew asked, “What about our son?”

“What about
my
son?” she countered.

“He is my son and you
are my wife! Nothing can change that fact. I have gone through
purgatory to find you, and I will have what is mine to claim,”
Matthew ground out angrily. He stood up quickly and covered the
distance between his chair and Julie’s bed.

Julie moved close to
the edge. “You stay away from me. I know what you’re trying to do,
and it will not work this time. You think I will melt into your
arms and forgive everything. That ploy might have worked once, when
I was innocent and extremely foolish, but it will not work anymore.
I am wiser and—”

Before Julie could
finish, Matthew had her in his arms. She began to struggle, but
when his lips touched hers and his tongue parted them, he heard a
soft, sweet moan escape her throat. He pulled her closer. In as
long as it takes two people to share a kiss, they were wrapped in
the same heated passion that always seemed to flare between
them.

Stunned by the passion
his kiss ignited, Matthew broke away from their embrace, stood up,
and tried to catch his breath while running his fingers through his
hair. A smoldering fire remained in those beautiful emerald eyes.
The knot in his throat threatened to choke him.

Julie stared back at
him with the sharp points of passion staining her cheeks a becoming
pink. She trembled when he took her hand. “Julie, I need you, and I
see that same need in your eyes when you look at me. We were meant
to be together.”

“No, no, no! You see
only what you want to see. They are just two eyes like anyone
else’s, nothing more. Animal lust is not enough. There has to be
more.”

“You cannot tell me
you feel nothing when we kiss or your skin does not go hot and
cold. I have seen the cloud of passion cover your eyes when you
look at me. Don’t send me to perdition, Julie, I love you. I have
loved you since the first moment I saw you. Do not deny my
happiness or your own, for I can make you happy. I will spend the
rest of my life making you happier than anyone else ever could, if
you will only let me. I beg of you to open your heart and let me
in,” Matthew pleaded.

“What about our
marriage? You tricked me. Is that an example of a loving
heart?”

“If you mean did I
trick you into loving me, I do not believe that kind of trickery is
possible. If you mean did I trick you into marriage, I believe you
agreed willingly,” Matthew countered.

“Do not try to step
around it. I am talking about the ceremony and your so-called
vicar. I know about the sham. I know it was not legal,” Julie
ground out angrily.

“I have the papers to
prove it
is
legal, and the special license. Our marriage is
real! I could not take a chance on having the marriage recorded in
Gairloch. It is duly recorded at my friend’s church. I have
discussed this with your aunt. As it so happens, she knows the
vicar in question. You can describe him to her yourself,” he said
with a grin.

“Oh, Matthew, if this
is true, then ’tis I who owe you an apology. But what about us?
After all that has happened…”

Matthew took her in
his arms again and gently kissed her petal-soft lips. “I have to
leave Scotland. Every day I stay puts me in harm’s way. I cannot
live here and keep looking over my shoulder every minute of my
life. I want you and our son to come with me. I own a vineyard in
France. I will make a new home for us there. I do not know when or
if we will be able to come back. Will you come, my darling?”

She kissed him
tenderly and lingeringly, drawing on the feeling they shared. “As
Ruth said to Naomi, ‘Whither thou goest, I will go, and where thou
lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people shall be my people…’”

* * *

The next evening they
were packed and ready to leave. Ribble had obtained a small sloop
for the crossing. It would be faster and more maneuverable than the
larger ships of the king’s navy if they were spotted. It was more
dangerous to travel at night, but it would be safer for them.

Julie said a tearful
good-bye to her aunt with the promise that Lady Catherine and
Maggie would come for a visit as soon as they could safely leave
the country.

Matthew came back to
collect the last of the baggage. He found Julie standing by a
window with Matthew Ian MacDonald snuggled against her breast. When
she turned around, he could tell she had been crying.

“Matthew, I’m worried
about Ian. What will happen to him?”

“I spoke with a lawyer
in Aberdeen. It is all arranged, if it is agreeable with Mr.
Rankin. I have given up my guardianship to Mr. Rankin. Mrs. Highet
will engage to find him a new governess. When everything is
settled, and I am sure there is no danger of Lark Mead being
confiscated, Ian will come and live with us. If that is your
wish.”

“Oh, yes, that is my
wish. Thank you, husband,” she said, smiling again.

“Are you ready, my
dear? We will miss the tide if we do not hurry.” He walked over to
where she stood and put his arm around her. “We will come back
someday, but for now we must leave. Your aunt and Maggie will come
to visit us often. We will have a good life. I promise.”

Julie nodded her head
and looked at her husband. She expected him to be changed by the
war and all the trouble he had been through, but instead he looked
younger and more alive, with perhaps just a little of the
adventurer shining through. She also saw his love for her and the
baby in those azure-blue eyes. She found she loved him more with
each passing day. This move would be good for him and for her.

She dried her tears
and said, “I am ready, ready to go home.”

He looked deep into
her eyes and kissed her once again. Together they walked down to
the beach where Ribble waited to take them out to the sloop. They
continued to wave good-bye to Lady Catherine and Maggie long after
the two women disappeared from view.

Quickly, their sail
filled with a stiff breeze, pushing them over the horizon on the
gentle winds of promise of a new life, new hope, and fresh
beginnings.

A special thanks to my editor, Amanda
Barnett, who helped make this book the absolute best it could
be!

I was born in the shadow of the Blue Ridge
Mountains in Western North Carolina. I met my husband, a Canadian,
while skiing in Montana. We have lived in many different locations
across the United States and Canada. We finally settled in West
Virginia with our dog, Max.

I have always enjoyed history and reading all
genres. Until recently I was employed by a major bank in its IT
department as a network analyst. Now that I have left that career
behind, I am enjoying having enough time to do research and work on
my stories.

If you'd like to know more about me and the
stories I write, you can visit my website at
www.amandabalfour.com
.

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