Read Rumble Online

Authors: Ellen Hopkins

Rumble (41 page)

BOOK: Rumble
13.87Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

It’s awfully arrogant of you to think we have to believe in anything,
she said.
I happen to be an atheist.

Her comment struck a chord. In considering it, I kept coming back to the thought that being a teen should be about asking big questions, rather than cutting yourself off from them. Not, “there can’t possibly be,” but, rather, “what if there is?” Or even, “what if it’s completely different than anyone assumes?”

When I’m building stories, my characters spring to life and often tell me things about themselves I didn’t know going in. Matt’s interest in guns was a surprise, but I went with it, and it completely suits his character. His uncle Jessie and the veteran Gus were unplanned originally, but served to facilitate the climax of the book. I had researched PTSD for
Collateral
, so I understood why war vets sometimes go off. On a personal level, while I enjoy target shooting, I also believe stricter gun regulations are necessary to prevent incidents like the one in this book.

Probably the most interesting piece of information my research for
Rumble
netted was in looking at why some bullied kids commit suicide while the majority of them don’t. The common denominator seems to be depression, which is rooted in brain chemistry and can be intensified by external pressures. Antidepressants can be tricky in teens, sometimes even initiating a suicide attempt.

I do research every book heavily. Primary research is best, and I talk to many different people who have experienced the things I write about.
Sometimes they’ve touched me personally, as is the case with book challenges. Usually my characters share my opinions, but not always, and I have to remain true to who they are. When I said they spring to life, they do.

Some interesting statistics:

• According to the Department of Veteran Affairs (VA), our armed forces face an epidemic of suicide, with a service member committing suicide every 25 hours and a veteran committing suicide every 65 minutes.
• Also according to the VA, “the presence of firearms in households has been linked to increased risk of injury or death for everyone in or around the home, usually as an impulsive act during some disagreement.”
• According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in some 4,400 deaths per year. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts.
• Bullying victims are 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than nonvictims, according to studies by Yale University.
• A study in England found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying.

Suicide is a complex issue, exacerbated by depression, feelings of hopelessness, lack of self-esteem, family problems, and other factors. Signs of depression and thoughts of suicide are:

• Dropping grades
• Losing interest in favorite activities
• Withdrawing socially
• Sleeping more or less than normal
• Throwing or giving away treasured items
• Marked changes in personality

If you notice these symptoms in a friend or loved one, take action right away. Help is available. Don’t be afraid to ask for it.

Also by Ellen Hopkins

Crank

Burned

Impulse

Glass

Identical

Tricks

Fallout

Perfect

Tilt

Smoke

Thank you for reading this eBook.
Find out about free book giveaways, exclusive content, and amazing sweepstakes! Plus get updates on your favorite books, authors, and more when you join the Simon & Schuster Teen mailing list.
C
LICK
H
ERE TO
L
EARN
M
ORE
or visit us online to sign up at
eBookNews.SimonandSchuster.com/teen

MARGARET K. McELDERRY BOOKS • An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division • 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York 10020 •
www.SimonandSchuster.com
• This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. • Text copyright © 2014 by Ellen Hopkins • Jacket illustration copyright © 2014 by Sammy Yuen Jr. • All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. • MARGARET K. MCELDERRY BOOKS is a trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc. • The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event, contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at
www.simonspeakers.com
. • Interior design by Mike Rosamilia • Jacket design by Sammy Yuen Jr. • Book edited by Emma D. Dryden • The text for this book is set in Chaparral Pro and Trade Gothic Condensed No. 18. • Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data • Hopkins, Ellen. • Rumble / Ellen Hopkins. • p. cm. • Summary: Eighteen-year-old Matt’s atheism is tested when, after a horrific accident of his own making that plunges him into a dark, quiet place, he hears a voice that calls everything he has ever disbelieved into question. • ISBN 978-1-4424-8284-5 (hardcover) • ISBN 978-1-4424-8286-9 (eBook) • [1. Novels in verse. 2. Atheism—Fiction. 3. Family problems—Fiction. 4. Dating (Social customs)—Fiction. 5. High schools—Fiction. 6. Schools—Fiction. 7. Grief—Fiction.] I. Title. • PZ7.5.H67Rum 2014 • [Fic]—dc23 • 2013037681

Contents

Acknowledgments

In the Narrow Pewter Space

Have Faith

Case in Point

Why, Then

As I Wind Up

A Tribute

I’m Not Quite

As Is Usual

The Defiance

Hi-Ho-the-Merry-O

The Weight of His Sigh

Which Would Be

Fucking Great

He Tries Another Tack

For a Counselor

It’s a Total Lie

Doesn’t Matter

First Things First

Guess I’m Eating Solo

Okay, I Know

A Sudden Uncomfortable Tug

Great

The Tips of My Ears

Toward the End

And So Does

Sheep

I’d Try the Ol’

Maintain, Matt, Maintain

Dismissed

Didn’t Realize

If I Wanted

Now Come Catcalls

Both Girls Sputter

But My Lips Are Sealed

Best of All

Hasn’t Stopped Me Yet

Where It Becomes Clear

They’re at the Table

Words Like

My Eyes Stop There

I Turn Away

I Kick Off My Shoes

Beyond the Door

But Always

That Day

My First Reaction

Aliens Mated with Monkeys?

Luke Agreed

Stench-Free

She Takes a Deep Drag

Those Six Words

Eight Thousand

Freak Lives In

She Follows Me

True Enough

Well, Luke, Plus

Speaking of Kicking Ass

She Takes My Hand

We Are Quiet

Enough!

There’s a Lot More

I Want to Deny It

If There’s Anything Worse

Well, Not Quite Alone

I Trudge to My Room

It Would Be Nice

That’s Assuming

But What I Remember Most

Once It Got Dark

It Sure Freaked Us Out Then

No One Laughed

So Much

No Such Luck

I Almost Quit Reading There

Two Cups

They Say a Solid Offense

We Settle on Both

Except

I Should Drop It

We’ve Been Going Out

I Half Expect a Tirade

Loving This Girl

In Addition

From Satan to Christ

Kind Of?

No Escape

Acting Like a Man Is Overrated

She Walks Two Steps

Infuriating!

The Person

I Give Hayden’s Temperature

Buzzed but Anxious

I Crash Late

No! Please, No!

She Leaves the Sentence Unfinished

Clatter and Cursing

Bam!

His Last Sentiment

His Grip Loosens

I Have No Idea

It’s Over

So Much for Her Smile

This Time

Can’t Sit Around Here

It Started

Dad’s Motive

Sunday on a Holiday Weekend

I Use Two

Four O’Clock

She Crosses the Street

We Are a Half Block Away

If She Gushed Any More

And, Worse

Too Much

Valid Question

I Spend the Next Thirty-Six Hours

Arm Still Firmly Wrapped

Don’t Look at Her

My Therapist’s Lair

At 4:16

Martha Reminds Me

Cathartic?

See, This Is Why I Hate Therapy

What List?

Tongue Slips

I’m Panting Anxiety

The Soft Chime

Beyond the Inner Sanctum Door

Decent Session

I Almost Call Martha Myself

What Would Martha Say?

Which, to a Point

Sage Advice

I Purposely Miss

He Claimed

Dad Refused

I Get to the Game

The Varsity Game

For the Moment

Booze

The Slur Factor

That Was His Fortress

I Watch Him Now

Apparently Not

Outside

Seriously Stung

Want? Wait

Oh Man

I Drive Home

I Walk Through the Door

Marginally Satisfied

Forgive

By Friday

Zero Communication

Now, That Was Communication

Skipping Tonight’s Game

I Spend Most of the Afternoon

The Guilt

Too Late to Worry

I Expect Her to Say

And Just in Case

Alexa and I Kiss Again

I’ve Only Been With

Heart Shattering

Am I Confused?

I Am Pulled from Sleep

Uncharacteristically

It’s the Best Shower

Dad’s Still Asleep

Dad and I Rarely Talk

We Both Sip Our Coffee

Makes Sense

He Doesn’t Respond Immediately

Blame

One Last Thing

Easier

I Can’t Remember

My Personal Corner of the World

Hold On

It’s Strange

What Have I Got to Lose?

As I See It

The Door Slams

But How Far Is Too Far?

Fifty-Nine Minutes Later

I Hope She Answers

No Way Around

I Don’t See Hayden’s Temper Often

Hayden Sniffles

She’s Trading Me In

Insane

Unconvinced

Not Exactly a Lie

This Kiss

Sunday Morning

Holy Hell

I Retreat

Only Fitting, Then

Okay, What Now?

No! No! No!

Oh, Why Not?

I Could Share Those Things

Her Forthrightness

She Sucks in a Serious Breath

Killed?

The Sun Showers

A Sudden Outburst

As If to Prove My Point

He Slaps Away

The Dogs Grin, Exposing Fangs

Today, However

The Invitation

The Joke Falls a Little Flat

His Answer

On That Semi-Creepy Note

Before We Hit the Road

Alexa’s Stuff

I Shower Off

Nightmares

Despite the Prozac

He Made Me Promise

School Was Almost Out

I Shake Off

Judah the Great and Powerful

Arbitrarily

The Female-to-Male Ratio

I Sit Listening

That Quiets Him

There’s a Big Addendum

The Bell Rings

I Leave Her

I Fake My Way

Tonight, It’s My Own Bed

BOOK: Rumble
13.87Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Other books

Fannie's Last Supper by Christopher Kimball
Bound by Bliss by Lavinia Kent
Fantasy League by Mike Lupica
Inseparable Bond by David Poulter
2004 - Dandelion Soup by Babs Horton
Your Magic or Mine? by Ann Macela