Rules of Protection (Tangled in Texas) (Volume 1) (12 page)

“Oh, daaamn. I wanted to hose her down,” the biggest guy said. “Why does Cowboy get to have all the fun?”

I looked back at the man with the hose, knowing Jake was walking toward us. “Cowboy, huh? That’s a strange name.” Cowboy winked at me and grinned. My eyes scanned to the swell in his jeans. “So, Cowboy, is that a kink in your hose or are you just happy to—”

A hard hand bit into my arm, turning me around. All I saw was Jake’s intense glare. He didn’t say anything, but dragged me off toward the cottage.

He wrangled me into the bathroom, turned the water in the shower on, and yelled at me. “What the hell was that?”

“What?” I asked innocently.

“You’re supposed to be my girlfriend, remember? Do you always hug up on strange men like that?”

“The water was freezing, and I was covered in slime.” I stepped into the shower, closed the stall door, and stripped out of my wet, nasty clothes. “No thanks to you, of course.”

“It’s not like I pushed you in.”

“Well, you sure the hell didn’t pull me out. You left me in there with an alligator. A fucking alligator! I could kill you.”

“You know, it’s against the law to threaten a federal agent,” Jake warned, his tone lightening with amusement.

“Are you going to arrest me?” I asked, my tone bordering on a dare.

“No.”

“Good. Fuck you, then!” I threw my bra and panties over the rail, hoping they smacked him in the face, but he just laughed. I stepped under the spray, splashing warm water on my face and letting it run over my hair, warming my cold body as it trailed down. “Who’s your friend?” I asked, trying to lighten my harsh tone.

Jake paused before answering. “Look, Cowboy may be a friend of mine, but I don’t want you to—”

“Not him. I’m talking about the blond chick.”

“Oh, you mean Bobbie Jo?”

“Bobbie Jo? Isn’t that a boy’s name?”

Jake chuckled. “Not around here it’s not. It’s her name. She and I go way back. You’ll like her. Sweet girl.”

My eye roll was lost on him through the steamed up shower door. “Oh, yeah. I’m sure we’ll be besties.”

“Finish up in here. Then I’ll give you a proper introduction—one where you shake hands instead of rubbing against each other’s body parts.”

“Funny,” I said, though I heard the door shut and realized he was already gone.

I got dressed, blow-dried my hair, and dabbed a little makeup on before returning outside. It wasn’t hard to find them, since I could hear the sounds of them clowning around in the backyard. When I walked up, they were throwing back beers and laughing, though Cowboy was no longer with them. That was probably a good thing.

Jake motioned to the others one at a time. “Emily, this is Bobbie Jo.” The thin, pretty blonde with the perfect glowing complexion and large boobs smiled and waved politely, as Jake motioned to a little guy next to her. “And this is Ox.”

“Ox? Does anybody here have a normal name?” The dig was meant for Bobbie Jugs. I mean, Jo.
God, why do I do that? I don’t even know the poor girl. It’s not her fault Jake has me so tied up in knots.

Laughing, Ox stepped over and shook my hand. His earsplitting, boisterous laugh seemed out of place with his little body. “Judd does,” Ox said. “And Jake, of course.”

I looked over to Judd, who was squeezing superglue into a cut on his leg, and reveled at his size. He was a big boy—not fat, but big. Everywhere. He had a large barrel head, broad shoulders close to three feet wide, and bulges in places that were unnatural. He gave a quick nod and went back to what he was doing.

“What happened, Judd?”

“It’s no big deal. I banged my knee against a root or something when I jumped into the pond. Must’ve gashed my leg open.”

I stepped closer for a better look. “It looks like it needs stitches,” I said, appalled by the angry-looking laceration. “And the pond water is probably crawling with bacteria. You might want to get it checked out.”

Everyone around me burst into laughter.

Jake shook his head at me. “He’ll be fine. Each of us has stepped out of the pond at some point with a knick on us.”

A knick? Was he kidding? That’s like saying the scar left after open-heart surgery resembled a cat scratch. Jesus. They were all fucking nuts.

“Good thing you didn’t get hurt, Emily. You probably would’ve cost me a trip to the emergency room,” Jake said, suggesting to everyone I was a wuss.

“Actually, I hurt my finger when I tried to climb out. I think I broke it.”

“No you didn’t,” Jake said, resting his arm on the bench behind Bobbie Jo. “You probably jammed it.”

I gritted my teeth but held my ground. “No, I think I broke it. Besides, how would you know? You haven’t even seen it. My finger could be mangled and twisted into some weird shape.”

Jake sighed. “All right, you big baby, let me have a look at your finger.” After a silent pause, his friends chuckled. “Not that one, smartass.”

Somebody approached me from behind, and I turned to get a better look. Cowboy stood there in all his handsome perfection with an incredible smile flattering his already-gorgeous face.

“Emily, this is—”

“We’ve already met,” Cowboy said, interrupting Jake as he lifted my hand to his lips, kissing it lightly. “Intimately,” he added, his smile widening.

“Briefly,” I corrected, pulling my hand from his.

“Jake takes all the fun out of everything.” Cowboy’s glittering green eyes playfully probed mine. “Most of my encounters with women are not nearly as short-lived.”

My mouth twisted with sarcasm. “Do women agree with that statement, or is that just
your
perception?”

“Holy shit!” Ox said, laughing. “Where’d you find this girl, Jake?”

Cowboy’s jaw tightened, as if I had issued a challenge. He lowered his head to my ear and whispered, “Why don’t you take a test drive and find out for yourself?” He didn’t wait for an answer before walking over to grab a beer from the cooler.

I doubted many women turned him down. If ever. He had a confident, loose-hipped gait and was the most genetically perfect specimen I’d ever laid eyes on. But I decided right then he had a flaw. He was too perfect. No one is that handsome, that confident, or that charming. Definitely something wrong with him. I mentally giggled to myself as I considered he had a small endowment. The universe does have to keep a certain balance in the world, after all.

“Jake,” Bobbie Jo said, “I need to get going, or I’m going to be late picking up my mama. Can you give my guys a ride home? I’m sure they all want to stay awhile longer.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Jake reached over and gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Stop by again when you get a chance. We’ll catch up.”

“I will. You don’t know how much I’ve missed you,” she said, her eyes glimmering.

Oh, jeez. I think I just threw up in my mouth.

By the time she drove away, the sun dipped behind the trees and mosquitoes invaded the backyard. We took refuge near the burn pit.

“So what are you boys doing here?” Jake asked.

“Had to see if the rumor was true,” Judd replied.

“What rumor?”

Judd grinned widely. “The rumor about you being engaged.”

Jake’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open. “What? Who told y’all that?”

“Ran into Junior at the hardware store. He said you were going to marry this one.”

I couldn’t help but smile since I figured Bobbie Jo probably heard the same rumor.

Jake’s eyes flitted to me and back to Judd. “She’s my…girlfriend. That’s it.” He wasn’t a good liar. Even I sensed his hesitation to answer.

Cowboy leaned over toward me. “Pregnant?”

“Of course not,” I replied, shocked by his assumption.

The corner of his lips curled upward, and his voice grew huskier. “Want to be?”

“Does that approach render most females helpless?”

“It’s been known to light a few fires,” he said, winking. “Lucky for you, I’m a fireman.”

“You’re a fire fighter?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He waited for me to be impressed.

“Well, Cowboy, if my pussy is ever in need of being rescued, then I’ll be sure to give you a call. Until then, you’ll just have to play with your own hose.”

Jake’s three friends stared, slack-jawed and silent, as he shook his head. “You’ll get used to it,” Jake told them. “Emily has a bad habit of using colorful language.”

“Fuckin’ A,” Ox said with surprise. Then he turned to me and said, “We don’t normally hear that kind of talk from women. They tend to mind their Ps and Qs around here.”

“She isn’t a southern belle,” Judd said, smiling. “That’s for damn sure.”

“I like it,” Cowboy said, shrugging his brows at me. As if that surprised me.

I rolled my eyes. “You mean to tell me Bobbie Jo doesn’t use bad language? Ever?”

“Bobbie Jo was head cheerleader, as well as valedictorian,” Jake said in her defense. “She always set a great example of a lady, and the other girls admired her for it.”

Damn. Miss Perfect was getting on my nerves, and she wasn’t even there. “Yeah right, and I bet all the guys admired her oversized pom-poms.”

“Emily, don’t be crude,” Jake said, scrunching his nose. “She hasn’t done anything to you. She’s a good person, and you’d like her if you gave her half a chance.” He stood and walked away, mumbling something about getting more beer.

Ox and Judd set off after him, leaving Cowboy alone with me. Great. Smart move, guys. Then again, I was being a little bitchy. Bobbie Jo didn’t seem so bad. Maybe I should spend some time getting to know her. And who knows? We might even end up friends.

“Don’t worry,” Cowboy said. “He’ll get over it. Jake’s a little overprotective when it comes to her.”

“And why’s that?”

Cowboy leaned back in his chair and stretched out his long legs, kicking one scarred boot over the other. “Jake dated Bobbie Jo in high school. They took each other’s virginity.”

Now, I had to compete with the virgin he deflowered in high school?

Fucking great.

Chapter Nine

Floss invited Jake’s friends to stay for dinner and wouldn’t take no for an answer. She tempted them with promise of roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy, and fresh green beans from the garden. Homemade apple pie was the clincher, though.

After dinner, Hank and Floss decided to turn in early. We said our good nights and the five of us headed back down to the burn pit with the intention of polishing off the rest of the beer. After all, there were only two things to do out in the middle of the sticks—have sex and get drunk. Since Jake continued holding out on the first thing, I accompanied the boys on the other.

Cowboy opened another beer and passed it to me with a sly, sexy smile. “You doing okay, darlin’?”

I nodded lazily, my brain buzzing with alcoholic contentment. “It’s not oil,” I slurred, pointing at the fire.

He cocked one eyebrow. “Oil?”

“We’re burning the midnight trash,” I mumbled, before bursting into hysterics and falling out of my chair.

Jake caught my arm, righted me, and snagged the beer from my hand. “Okay, slick, I think you’ve had one too many.”

I pushed my lip out, pouting. “Oh, Jake, you’re no fun.”

He tipped the bottle back and guzzled my entire beer. “Well, that was fun,” Jake said smugly, making the other guys laugh.

I leaned over to Cowboy, though my head tilted too far to the right and I had to correct it. “So what’s with the name? Why do they call you Cowboy?”

“Because I always rounded up the most cattle.”

“That’s it?” I asked, unimpressed. “I thought for sure there’d be a better reason for it than that. You should try something like,
‘because I can stay on longer than eight seconds, which is more than most men can.’
It would’ve done more for your image.”

He chuckled under his breath. “Not when the cattle we’re referring to
are
women.”

“Oh, jeez,” I said, looking over at Ox. “Well, what about you? Why Ox?”

Jake, Cowboy, and Judd all broke into chorus, “Because he’s hung like an ox.” I swear all three of them reached down and self-consciously rearranged their balls at the same time.

“No freaking way!” I laughed giddily, though I was the only one doing so. I looked to Jake for confirmation, and he nodded solemnly. My eyes widened and found their way back to Ox, who displayed a proud grin. “You’ve got to be shittin’ me.” I surveyed his pint-size frame and shook my head with disbelief. “No way!”

Ox smiled wider. “Want me to prove it?”

“Yes!”

“NO!” the men said in unison.

“Oh, come on, guys. He has to. There’s no way I’ll believe it until I see it for myself. You may as well have said he had the legendary Bigfoot dangling between his legs.”

“He practically does,” Cowboy mumbled under his breath.

Jake stood. “All right, I think it’s time to call it a night.” He tossed Cowboy the keys to our commandeered Explorer. “You can bring it back tomorrow.”

“That’ll work,” Cowboy said in agreement.

“Come on, Emily. It’s bedtime,” Jake said, as if I were his child.

“I’m not going inside yet.” Even if I did feel a little loopy.

He glared at me. “Well, you’re not staying out here alone.”

“You can’t boss me around. I’m capable of making up my own mind. If I want to stay out here then you can’t stop—”

Jake took two long strides, threw me over his shoulder, and carted me off toward the cottage. Damn Neanderthal. It would have served him right if I puked on him.

The guys laughed as they walked behind us toward the Explorer.

“You two fight like you’re already married,” Ox said to us. “You should go ahead and make it official.”

“We probably would if Emily didn’t have commitment issues,” Jake replied, hamming it up by slapping me on my butt. “All she wants is sex.”

God, I wanted to blow his stupid cover right then and tell them how Jake acted like a virginal schoolgirl who refused to part with his panties, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. And he knew it.

All evening I’d been helplessly drowning in male testosterone. I don’t know why I expected anything different at this point. If this was any indication of how Smurfette felt, she should’ve left Smurf village a long time ago and begged Gargamel to kill her estrogen-laden ass.

“
I
have commitment issues?” I said to Jake. “You’re a man, right?”

“You should know,
honey
.” Then he smacked my ass a second time.

I growled under my breath, “If you do that again, you’re going to have to sleep with one eye open tonight.”

…

I came out of the shower as mad as when I went in.

Jake pulled back the quilt on the bed. “Still upset with me?”

“Eat shit.”

“Guess so,” he said, shrugging. A brief silence passed before he spoke again. “Okay, I know I’m going to regret this. Tell me what the problem is.”

I glared at him. “You keep bossing me around. I’m starting to think Cowboy is right about you. You’re no fun.”

“We’re not here to have fun. I brought you here to hide you and keep you alive. Those are my two objectives right now. You want fun, go to Disney World.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to be boring. I have all this idle time to do nothing, yet I annoy you more when I’m left to my own devices. I can’t win.”

Jake closed his eyes briefly and sighed. “Okay, tell me what I can do to make this less boring for you and less infuriating for me.”

I grinned from ear to ear as I crawled into bed with him. “You know that’s a loaded question, right?”

“Something besides
that
,” Jake said.

“Afraid I might tarnish your precious halo?”

“Nope. I want to channel your energy into something else, in hopes you’ll behave yourself from now on.”

“A reward for good behavior?”

Jake nodded. “Sure. What do you want?”

I considered my options, though I didn’t have many to choose from. But there was one thing I truly wanted. Well, besides
that
. “I want to go somewhere. I’m tired of sitting around here.”

“Nope. Not going to happen. Pick something else.”

“Come on, Jake. I’m like that colt in the barn. I need to be able to stretch my legs, but you keep fencing me in. I need to get out of here, even if it’s only for a little while.”

He thought about it for a second, then let out a hard breath. “Okay, fine. God, I hope I don’t regret this,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “Tomorrow evening, I’ll take you out.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “Yes. But not for long, and we have to stay low-key. Is it a deal?”

“Deal,” I said, grinning. “Wow, your halo is really glowing tonight.”

Jake flipped off the lamp. “Yeah, yeah. I’m a regular angel.”

“Well, it’s better than acting like a nun,” I said, before pausing to roll my mind over a drunken thought. “Wait a minute. Do angels have sex?”

“Go to sleep, Emily.”

…

Earlier in the day, Jake called Cowboy and arranged for him to bring the Explorer by before dark. When I heard him pull in, I figured we’d be leaving soon. I dabbed my lips with shiny, clear gloss and misted myself lightly with perfume. I wanted my outing with Jake to be memorable, and the last look in the mirror had brought a smile to my face.

The flowery halter dress had a vintage, romantic feel, but paired with white strappy heels and a wide belt cinching my waist, the dress transformed into a traffic stopper. Junior’s daughter had great taste.

Jake poked his head in the bedroom door. “Are you ready—” He stopped and stared with a stunned expression. “—to go?”

“Yep.” I moved past him toward the cottage door. His head turned to watch me, but his feet stayed planted. “Coming?”

“Uh…yeah, of course.” Only then did he move to the door. He opened it, but paused. “Emily,” he said, hesitating again. “You…uh, look great.”

I smiled. “Thanks. You, too.”

His blue plaid shirt wasn’t anything fancy, but it brought out the blue coloring in his gray eyes. His denim jeans emphasized his long, muscular legs and were tight on his ass. What more could a girl want?

Jake held the door for me, and I stepped out onto the porch. A shrill wolf whistle pierced the air. Cowboy leaned against the fender of the Explorer wearing faded Wranglers, a white muscle shirt, old work boots, and his white straw hat. He motioned his finger in a circle, wanting me to spin. I happily obliged.

He looked me up and down. “Mmmm-mmm.” He didn’t need to give me a verbal compliment. The fiery spark of desire in his eyes, as well as a hint of the green-eyed monster when he glanced over to Jake, was compliment enough.

I hadn’t seen desire in Jake’s eyes when he came into the bedroom. If anything, he looked more like a scared bunny crossing paths with a hungry coyote. What happened to him being the big, bad wolf? I chalked it up to the fear of going into town with the woman he stole from witness protection—it’s bound to make anyone a little nervous.

Jake drove and I sat in the front passenger seat, though I don’t know why, since I wasn’t alone. Cowboy said he’d sit in back, but he spent most of his time leaning over my shoulder, breathing on my neck. I think he was looking for a mountain view, but with my average-sized chest, he was sorely disappointed. Most he could hope for was a glimpse of the twin peaks.

Once we dropped Cowboy off at the fire station, Jake drove the back way toward Liberty County. I thought it was funny, since
all
the ways were the back way to me, especially when surrounded by thickets of trees.

“Your friend is flirtatious.”

“And persistent,” Jake added. “I think you’ve caught his attention.”

“What do you mean?”

Jake shrugged. “He’s never met a woman he couldn’t have before.”

“Quantity over quality, huh?”

“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” he said with a smirk. “The women he’s been with have never complained about quality control. It’s more like he’s an avid hunter, and it’s open season year round…as far as women go.”

“Oh, I get it. He’s all about the bag and tag…but with no limit?”

“That’s right,” Jake said, laughing. “Cowboy needs a woman who challenges him. Most of them tend to fall over with their legs in the air. It’s no fun hunting if the game comes to you and commits suicide at your feet.” Jake glanced over at me as he drove. “Is he bothering you?”

“Cowboy? No, he’s harmless…I think,” I said with a laugh. “Is he bothering you?”

He grinned. “Did he hit on me and I didn’t know it?”

“No, I mean, does it bother you that he’s hitting on me?”

Jake didn’t hesitate. “Not at all.”

Ouch. That stung. I wanted to ask him why he wasn’t jealous, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Valuable lesson of the day: don’t ask questions you might not like the answers to.

Jake turned down an unpopulated county road, and I spied something ahead. It had already gotten too dark to tell what it was from a distance, but when we got closer, I saw four large skeletal remains hanging from the barbed wire’s wooden posts. Jake didn’t bat an eye as we drove past, but I remembered the men who crept out of the woods the night we arrived.

“Oh, my God. What the hell were those…
things
?”

He glanced in his rearview mirror. “Alligator gars.”

“What?”

“Alligator gars. They’re a type of fish.”

“There’s no way. Those things were too big to be fish. They were longer than me.”

Jake smirked. “Trust me, they’re fish. Gars can get up to ten feet long.”

“Why are their skeletons hung up on the fence? That’s creepy.”

“You don’t want to know.”

I gave him an impatient look. “Tell me.”

“All right. Well, some people around here believe in voodoo.”

Just what I need. Something else that gives me nightmares.
“Never mind. You’re right. I don’t want to know.”

We drove silently while I tried to erase the disgusting skeletal creatures from my mind. Darkness crept forward and encompassed everything around us. I had no idea where we were until Jake pulled out onto the highway. Junior’s Diner was on this same highway, so chances were good that Jake was taking me to dinner. Junior would love that since I made such a lovely scene in the bathroom the last time I visited his place.

Jake slowed and turned his blinker on, but he passed the diner, pulled into the Dairy Queen parking lot, and got in line at the drive-through. I didn’t understand what he was doing, so I held off on reacting. Something must’ve got lost in translation. I was still trying to connect the dots when we arrived at the microphone.

Jake leaned out his window. “Two small vanilla cones,” he said into the speaker.

Too stumped for words, my lips couldn’t form any clear communication. My face began to feel hot. I rolled down the passenger window to let the cool night air in and closed my eyes. This couldn’t be real. Somehow, I had convinced myself Jake was taking me on a romantic outing, but all he had planned was ice cream at the Dairy Queen drive-through. Talk about an insulting buzzkill.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, he didn’t even ask me which flavor I wanted. He assumed I’d take whatever he’d give me and be happy with it. Don’t know why I was surprised. He’d been doing it since I met him.

Jake pulled around to the other side of the building where the window was. The car in front must’ve gotten ice cream as well because they’d already pulled away. The freckle-faced teenage girl at the window smiled flirtatiously at Jake as he handed her a ten-dollar bill. She handed him his change and some extra napkins. A plump, older woman walked over with two vanilla cones and handed them to the teen.

She passed the first ice cream cone out the window to Jake. Then Jake passed it to me. And, with no hesitation, I passed it right out my passenger window. It splattered on the pavement, cone and all.

“What the hell are you doing?” Jake asked.

“Maybe I preferred chocolate, you prick!”

“If you wanted chocolate, all you had to do was say something.”

“I didn’t want…never mind. Just forget it.” With that, I opened my door and got out of the Explorer, noticing two other vehicles had pulled up in line behind us.