Rules of Harte (Harte Series #1) (27 page)

             
Eva stopped walking and stood very still. She squinted to make out Julian’s yacht anchored in the distance. Her head hurt. Maybe it was the last of last night’s drink wearing off, or maybe it was the realisation that she had no idea what the hell she was doing. Julian confused the hell out of her and maybe they weren’t good for each other. What would happen when Julian got bored? The game couldn’t last forever. She knew she was just a project to him. A fun little challenge. A fixer-upper. But soon he’d give up and find the next pathetic girl to fuck silly.

             
Eva was disappointed with herself, she knew what she was getting herself in to. But it was getting so messed up now. She was starting to lean on him. She was starting to need him. That wasn’t supposed to happen. She knew she couldn’t have him - she knew that from the start. But it didn’t make her want him any less now.

             
‘It’s beautiful here, isn’t it?’ Eva said in awe of the view, and desperate to break the silence that had fallen over them.

‘Yes.’ Julian stood beside her
but not close enough to touch. ‘I’ve been all over the world but I always come back here.’

‘Is this a special place for you?’

‘You could say that.’

‘Why did you ever leave?’

              Julian exhaled deeply and shook his head. Eva stopped asking questions. She was overly aware that he didn’t seem to like answering them and he rarely asked her any. The ones he did were almost always rhetorical or an observation disguised as a question.

She tried to change the subject. ‘It reminds me of a holiday with my family. Years ago…’

‘You don’t talk about your family much.’

‘There’s not much to say.’

‘Tell me about your holiday.’

Eva looked away and scrapped her nails against the sides of her jeans. She didn’t know why he was interested. It wasn’t like he needed t
o make small talk to get her into bed. He’d already experienced her desires. He couldn’t possibly really want to know, could he? No one ever wanted to know. She hadn’t spoken about her family in ten years. But standing nestled beside him, his beautiful face watching her every move, for the first time she wanted to tell someone. She wanted to tell him.

             
‘It was supposed to be a family vacation, you know.’ She snorted softly, as memories stumbled around her head like reckless, drunken bodies. ‘It was supposed to be all sun, sand and ice cream. But he fucked it up. He always did. Just this time it was worse.’

             
They stopped walking when they reached a circular bandstand. Julian took Eva’s hand in his and led her up low concrete steps away from the water’s edge. He sat down, balancing on the edge of an iron railing and moved over so Eva could do the same. The shiny, pale blue roof matched the cloudless sky and sheltered them from an early morning breeze. A long time passed before Eva spoke again.

             
‘He hit me first, then my sister. We hid - like we always did, but my mother couldn’t get away. He was drunk, you know. ‘Eva’s voice crackled as she spoke. Julian sat still beside her. He only moved to rub soft, small circles around the bottom of her back. She sniffled hard and her face pinched like she was biting on a sour lemon.

             
‘His eyes did that thing where they rolled in his head. I knew he’d lost it. Really proper gone mad.’ Eva dropped her face into her hands and her shoulders shook as heavy tears dampened her face. She shook her head.

‘You don’t want to hear this. I’m sorry.’

Julian slid his finger under Eva’s chin and lifted her face just enough to meet her eyes with his. He fixed a windswept strand of hair back behind her ear and softly kissed her forehead. He didn’t say a single word.

             
Eva ran her fingers under her eyelashes and looked up.

‘He just kept hitting her. Even when she was on the ground. He just wouldn’t stop. She didn’t move. He left then. He always did. Probably to get more beer, but she didn’t get up this time.’

Julian nodded but remained silent.

‘I followed the ambulance. I needed to know she was still alive…but, I never went inside the hospital.
’

Julian took both her hands in his. ‘Did she…?’

‘What? Die…no.’ Eva stood up and slid her hands into her jeans pocket. She was cold.

‘She made it. Gave evidence at my father’s trial the next year. He got charged with attempted murder.’

‘Jesus,’ Julian said, his thumb and index finger stroking his chin while he shook his head. ‘Is your mother okay now?’

Eva shrugged her shoulders. ‘Dunno. I haven’t seen her since.’

‘Christ, Evangeline. Why not?’

‘Cause I can’t forgive her. She watched while my father beat me for years and she did nothing. She didn’t protect me. It just went on and o
n…No one has ever protected me. No one ever will.’

             
Julian stood up behind her. Eva felt the heat of his body rush against her, sheltering her from the wind and from the memories.

‘And you think your mother was a coward?’
he snorted.

Eva turned around to face him. Her tiny frame felt enlarged by her temper. But it was no match for his broad shoulders and heaving chest.

‘What the fuck is that supposed to mean?’ she snapped.

‘Take what you want from it.’

Eva’s whole body shook and so much hate filled her, it hurt. She banged her first on Julian’s solid chest. He didn’t flinch. He stood still and let her release her demons. Worn out, she almost fell to the ground, but he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him, kissing her deeply.

             
‘You don’t know my mother,’ she said through exhausted tears.

‘That’s true. I’m not pretending to know her. But you are.’

‘Pretending? I’m not pretending. Of course I know her. She’s my own flesh and blood.’

‘And you were just a child when you left
her. Everything is different through a child’s eyes.’

‘And I suppose you would know?’

‘Yes. Yes, I would know.’ Julian’s grip tightened. ‘Don’t judge your mother for something you don’t understand. You can’t hide behind a shitty childhood for the rest of your life.’

‘You can’t save me, Julian. No one can.’

‘No one can because you don’t let them try.’

‘Stop it. Stop pretending you care about me. You don’t want to fall in love, I know that. And you know what? Neither do I. So what’s the point of all this crap?’

‘Love is overrated,’ Julian said.

‘Maybe.’ Eva was disappointed by how unconvincing her reply sounded. She never wanted a relationship. People change and someone always ended up getting hurt. She never wanted to be that someone. But it was too late. It hurt already.

              ‘Let’s get one thing straight. I won’t march down the aisle wearing a monkey suit and ask you to have my babies. That’s all fantasy bollocks’

‘Bollocks? Eva repeated, distastefully.

‘I wasn’t finished… I’m not Prince Charming, Evangeline. But I will protect you. From everyone I need to, including you.’

‘I don’t need protecting from myself.’

Julian didn’t reply.

‘I don’t, Julian. You can’t say shit like that.’

‘I just did.’

Eva folded her arms and struggled to come up with a better argument. ‘I thought you were in a hurry to get to work.’

Julian tossed his shoulders. ‘Some things are more important.’

             
Eva tried not to let him see the smile that lit up her face. Maybe Julian was deeper than she’d given him credit for. She sat back down on the metal railing. He followed and lifted his arm, making room for her head on his chest. A comfortable silence fell over them.

             
‘Don’t over complicate things,’ Julian said after a while, softly stroking her hair. ‘It is what is.’

Eva shot upright as if the wind had been knocked out of her. She wasn’t stupid. So why was he treating her like she was
, with this, it is what it is bollocks? It was patronising and she resented it. Eva snorted and looked away. Everything in Julian’s life came easy to him. Women, money, boats, sex. Bloody hell, she bet he’d won any game he’d ever played. She wasn’t going to be his prize. One he could just discard with the rest when he was finished. Oh hell, she wanted to - sure. Wouldn’t any women, she consoled herself. But her damn stubborn inner bitch had all warning sirens blaring.

             
Eva stood up and turned to face him, her hands on her hips. The corners of his lips began to curl and she suspected he might laugh. She instantly regretted the dramatic stance.

‘It’s so simple for you, isn’t it? It’s all just one big game. Well this isn’t fun anymore. I don’t want to play.’ She turned her back, afraid of his reaction.

Julian caught her arm and spun her back to face him. ‘Don’t do this. Don’t spoil what we have.’

‘We have nothing.’ She pulled hers
elf roughly free from his grip. ‘Please, stop being nice to me. Not if you don’t really mean it.’

Eva’s phone vibrated demandingly in her jeans pocket.

‘Leave it,’ Julian whispered, leaning closer to kiss her neck.

‘I have to…’

‘Evangeline I said not now.’ Julian stopped kissing her, rose to his full height and shot her a disapproving glance.

             
‘Hello.’ Eva’s voice echoed around the early morning pier.

She returned Julian’s stare through hurting eyes. Maybe she could read him after all. She knew what came next. The wind suddenly felt colder than it had before and Eva shivered as she tried to get a grip on the situation.

              Julian rubbed his hand across his forehead, just once .He took off his suit jacket and draped it across her shivering shoulders, turned his back and slowly walked away.

‘Damn heat wave,’ Eva said out loud as if the clothes in her wardrobe could reply. Of course, like everyone else in the county, she was loving the ten degrees above average temperature. It gave her body a sun-kissed glow, but it left her with very limited work attire. Hot pants and a bikini may have been fine for lounging on the balcony, but she doubted Mr Doe would be impressed if she arrived into work dressed similarly; tanned shoulders or not. The hangers squeaked and groaned as she pushed dark blouses and heavy, winter trousers to the side. She tutted repeatedly.

             
Defeated, she glanced at the far corner of her bedroom where the countless white boxes were stacked. Julian was as good as his word. The parcels had arrived on Saturday, shortly after she got home from Dun Laoghaire. There was no note, or message or explanation. The box with the silky black ribbon was absent. The delivery man hadn’t conversed outside of checking the address was correct and asking her to sign. She’d spent most of Saturday afternoon sulking, ignoring the boxes and constantly checking her phone and emails for updates.

             
There were endless messages from Nathan and some from Shelly, but none from Julian. She’d wanted to ignore Nathan, but her damn need to be polite had gotten in the way. She sent a breezy ‘enjoy the weekend,’ text and he’d finally taken the hint and stopped badgering her. Her reply to Shelly involved the suggestion of wine and a Chinese takeaway. And the response had resulted in spending the evening telling her all about Julian, drinking way too much and Shelly leaving with the contents of at least five boxes.

             
But now it was Monday morning and Eva had no alcohol to lean on, no best friend to bitch to and nothing to bloody wear. She sighed heavily and rummaged for the box containing her favourite outfit. The sleeveless, cream, silk blouse and crop, coral trousers complimented her slim legs and dark hair. She coupled the outfit with too-high-for-comfort wedges and raced out the door.
Damn it
, Julian had just won again.

             
Eva noticed turning heads on her commute to the office and she liked it - a lot. She quickened her pace as she walked past already open shops on Grafton Street. The city was coming to life with tourists and shoppers. And Eva knew, without checking her watch, that she was at least half an hour late for work. Instead of breaking into a mad panicked dash for the office, she stopped, leaned against a shop wall and tried to compose herself.

             
This was her second late morning in as many weeks. She waited for anxiety to take hold as it normally did in circumstance outside of her control. But this time was different, she was different. Her mind was so full with thoughts of Julian, there was absolutely no room in her head for anything else. Even the worry of Mia’s certain bollocking at her tardiness failed to completely unravel her.

             
Eva made it to her desk almost unnoticed. Except for Nathan, of course. He swivelled his chair, raised an eyebrow and winked. Eva forced a smile before sliding into her chair. A takeaway coffee waited for her and small piece of paper peeked out from underneath, just enough to reveal two hand written kisses. Eva gritted her teeth before turning around, flicked her chin towards Nathan and turned back just as quickly. Compared to Julian’s fine Arabica, the aroma in front of her stank like malt vinegar. She knew she was being unreasonable. She drank that same coffee for years; it was practically one of her five a day. But Nathan had tarnished it now. And she’d foolishly let him do the same to Julian.