Ruined (23 page)

"Thanks for the advice, but I believe I'll make decisions for myself, Miss Blake."

"You've already caused one son to attempt suicide. I would think you'd let up on Reed..."

"You'd do well to watch your mouth, Miss Blake. I can make your life in Charleston a living hell. Watch yourself."

With that, he hangs up and I'm left feeling like I'm going to throw up. Reed is such a good person, how on Earth can this guy be his father?

I don't have much time left to get ready, so I finish getting dressed just before Reed shows up. Now I'm left wondering how I'm going to keep him from getting the wrong impression about our "relationship". In other words, I'm going to confuse and frustrate him all over again.

"Wow," he says when I open the door. He has flowers in his hand, and the gesture makes me melt a little. No guy has ever given me flowers before. "You look beautiful."

Ugh. Why does this have to be so hard?

"Thanks. Ready?" I ask, taking the flowers and putting them into a vase on the nightstand.

"Everything okay?" he asks as if I'm already acting weird. Maybe I am.

"Sure. Everything's fine," I say smiling. If this is my last date with Reed, I'm determined to make it fun for him.

We walk outside and he has rented a limo. "I thought we were taking the bus?" I say with a raised eyebrow.

"On a date? Did you really think I'd put you on a bus looking like that?" he says smiling as the driver opens the door for us.

As we head toward Boston, we laugh and cut up and avoid the topics of work, my past and Kellan. I learn a lot more about Reed, such as his love of snow skiing, his fear of snakes and his hobby of fly fishing.

"So, tell me, Willow, what's your favorite food?" he asks me as we ride into the city.

"Hmmm.... I'd have to say steak, I guess."

"Good," he says as we pull into the driveway of a high end steakhouse in the heart of Boston. The place, called Creighton's, is beautiful with glass walls and rich woodwork throughout. As we walk inside, the maitre'd seats us at a private table in a side room of the restaurant.

We sit down, and Reed is smiling at me. My heart hurts for him. He's got no idea what a louse his father really is. But maybe this is best for him. I can't make up my mind, and he'll get a good job out of the deal.

"What's going on in that brain of yours?" he asks staring at me with those blue eyes.

"Nothing. I'm fine. Really."

"Willow, you're a terrible liar."

Thankfully, the server comes over and takes our drink order. I get iced tea, Reed gets a glass of red wine. By the time the server leaves, I've regained my composure.

"So, Reed, what's your most embarrassing moment?"

"Oh, that's easy. When I was in seventh grade, I liked this girl named Marsha Jameson. She was so pretty with her blond ponytail," he says with a smile. "Anyway, I thought she liked me too, so I asked her to a dance in front of a bunch of people. Brought her flowers from the courtyard at our school. Got chased by the janitor for doing that, by the way. Anyway, asked her to the dance and she laughed at me and said no way. I was so embarrassed that I didn't ask a girl out for three years after that."

"Oh, I'm so sorry!"

"Willow, I'm over it," he says with a chuckle. Still, I hate what his father is going to make me do to him. He's hopeful that this date is leading somewhere, and I know it's not. "Okay, my turn. What's your most embarrassing moment?" he asks, taking a sip of his wine.

"I guess it would be fifth grade. I was on the playground, and we were playing boys chase the girls..."

"Boys chase the girls?"

"Yeah. The boys would chase us to try to kiss us."

"Okay...." he says laughing.

"Anyway, I liked this boy named Peter. I was all ready for Peter to kiss me, and everyone knew it including Peter. So, here he comes, lips puckered and ready.  Somehow, as I'm walking toward him, I manage to trip on a rock. I end up sprawled on the ground, skirt over my head, with my Barbie panties shining brightly in the sunshine. Never got my kiss, but I did get called Barbie Butt for the rest of my elementary education."

Reed goes into hysterics at this. And that's when it happens. He stands up without warning and pulls me up toward him. I'm staring into his blue eyes, and I have no power in me to pull back. "Come here, Barbie Butt, and let me make up for Peter's stupidity," he says as he slips both of his hands behind my head and pulls my lips to his. For a moment, I'm frozen, but I loosen up and allow him to kiss me. This is our goodbye kiss, after all. He just doesn't know it yet.

I'm lost in the moment, and I slip my hands around his waist. Thank goodness we're in a private room because this is PDA at its best. His hands are exploring my hair and then travel up and down my back. I can't stop myself. He is a great kisser after all. Suddenly, it dawns on me that his father could very well have had us followed. He could be telling Bruce everything right now. I stop kissing him and pull back.

"Willow? What's wrong?"

"I... I just can't do this, Reed," I say, trying to push back tears. I feel so bad treating him like this on this date he's planned for us. He must think I'm a real bitch.

"What? The kissing? The date?"

"All of it. I'm sorry, Reed. This date idea was so nice of you, but we can't be together like this. I know you don't understand, but it's best... for both of us." I sit back down quietly and take a sip of my tea.

"What are you talking about? I thought you were pulling back before because you were hiding your past, but I know that now."

"Can we just eat and enjoy a meal together?" I ask softly as I continue looking down.

"Willow, look at me." His tone is sharp and direct. I finally look up, trying to avoid his blue eyes as much as possible. "What's going on? One minute you're hot, the next you're cold. I don't get it."

"I don't make much sense to anyone, Reed. You're not the first."

"Why do you put up these walls? It's obvious I want to create something with you. Are you just not interested in me?" There's hurt in his voice. I don't know if I want to create a life with him, but it doesn't matter. That door is closed anyway, but he doesn't know that.

"Look, I've been through a lot in my life, Reed. You know that now. I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready for 'us'. You're better off moving on."

He shakes his head and groans a bit before taking a sip of his wine. "Fine. I'm not going to push you anymore, Willow. You obviously have your mind set. I can't change your past, but I would love to have been the man to change your future."

I say nothing, but inside I'm screaming at his father. I was confused enough before his phone call. We order our food and eat in silence before riding back to the hotel. Awkward isn't even the word for what it's like right now.

Without a word, he makes a pallet on the floor and sleeps there, which is a good thing because I don't think I could have slept in the same bed with him. The next morning, we finish our conference seminars and pack up for home.

The fourteen hour drive back home after the conference was quiet. We talk a little bit about the station, about work, about news stories. I feel like the bond we had, even as friends, is slowly slipping away. He doesn't understand my wall, and I can't explain it to him. The last thing I need is for him to confront his father and watch my entire world blow up in front of me.

When he drops me off at the house, he carries my bags to the steps and stands there for a moment, quietly looking at my face, before he looks down and walks to his car. No words are exchanged. It was like a silent goodbye.

I walk into the house and up to my room. Everyone is asleep since it's about two in the morning. I just want to sink into my bed and forget this whole trip. My heart hurts, my stomach aches and I don't know how to move forward without hurting Reed.

I stop in my doorway and wonder where Kellan is. I wonder if he's sleeping right now. His door is closed. I could so easily open it, but I don't. He made his feelings clear before I left, and right now I don't have it in me to argue with him.

I walk into my room and close my door quietly behind me. A few minutes later, my mother comes to check on me saying that she heard Reed's car drive away. She sits on my bed and looks at me inquisitively.

"What's up, Mom?" I ask as I start unpacking my bag.

"Well, how was the trip with Reed?" She enunciates his name as if we're BFF's talking about boys.

"It was business, Mom. And I'm tired. Fourteen hour drive..."

"Business? I thought things were more than business with you two."

"Well, you thought wrong."

She shrugs her shoulders and stands up, walking toward the door.

"Mom?"

"Yes?" she says before reaching the door.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." She leans against the wall, and I almost laugh at her fluffy robe and slippers. Gone are the days that we were hurting for money and she wore a T-shirt with holes in it to bed.

"Do you think everyone deserves a second chance? I mean, even if they've done something wrong?"

"Willow, you know I believe that." I realize she thinks we're talking about me.

"I'm not talking about me. You're my mother, so of course you think I deserve a second chance. I'm talking about, um... Kellan." I look down and say his name so softly that it's obvious what I'm asking.

"Wait. Willow, are you interested in Kellan?" she asks with her arms crossed.

"I don't know. Maybe." I sit down on the bed and sigh. "You know I always do things the complicated way."  She looks at me for a moment, and I'm sure she's about to try to convince me that Kellan is bad news and not worthy of me.

She walks over to the bed and sits down next to me, and then puts her hand on my knee. "Kellan is a special person, and he most certainly deserves a second chance in life."

"I think so too," I say with a smile. "Do you think Bruce will ever come around?"

"He's getting there after watching that video. He and Kellan have spent a lot more time together in the last couple of days while you were gone. They even went fishing off the pier."

"Really?" This makes me so happy I can barely stand it. "Mom, I'm so confused. Logic tells me to choose Reed. But my heart is telling me the opposite. Kellan gets me. He understands me. We understand each other."

"Willow, I learned a long time ago that the heart wants what it wants. Logic isn't a factor in love. But, here's the thing. You can't base a whole relationship on past tragedies that you have in common. Make sure that Kellan is the man you want and not just someone who shares the same sadness you do."

"Then you don't object?"

"As long as he takes care of my baby girl, I don't. One false move and he's in deep shit, though."

"Mom!" I say elbowing her. She never curses, so it cracks me up.

"Goodnight, sweetheart. Get some rest," she says kissing me on the head.

"Thanks, Mom."

I don't have the heart to tell her that Reed and Kellan both know my story yet. I'll tell her that tomorrow.

***

The sun comes up earlier at the beach. I'm sure of it. No matter how tightly I close my blinds, streams of sunlight always attack my eyelids too early in the morning. Getting home at two and waking up at seven doesn't make for a happy Willow.