Ruin Me Please (30 page)

Startled
, s
he attempted to school her
features into an innocent mask.
“I am not quite sure what you mean?”  She
questioned as anxiousness knotted her stomach.

Giving her a long
,
level look, Parker leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest.  “Poppy, I’m not blind.  I can see that there is an a
ttraction on both your parts.”

She wriggled
under his scrutiny, sitting up straight trying to maintain her emotional d
e
fens
es.  She looked around nervously, hugging
her shawl more closely around her shou
l
ders. 
She was distracted
when
she peered out the window and
noticed Freya and Durham
stan
d
ing alone in the garden
.

“Poppy?”  He broke the silence with a harrumph sound and with a hint of humor
in his v
oice but
a very serious expression on his face.  Parker
stated, “
Declan thinks he might be in love with you.” 
He sat b
ack in his chair studying Poppy’s reaction.

Taken aback, Poppy sat motionless.  A fluttery feminine thrill shot through her. 
She whispered
, “Did he tell you that?” 
She
held
her breath,
waiting for his reply,
wanting to glean every bit of information from him that she could.

“He did not have to say anything Poppy
,
”
Parker responded gently.
  “It is clear as day on his face.”

Moments passed
and then
a slow smile began to spread across her face.  She felt a glimmer of hope
,
“Truly
?”

Shifting uncomfortably,
his
brow furrowed
.
“Poppy you do realize that he has gone through a lot over the past few years.” 
H
is
concern for her was quite clear.
“
And he
quite a few years
ol
d
er than you.”

“What does age have to do with it?” 
She
questioned.  “
Susanna Tomlinson’s parents forced
her
to
marry an aging
v
iscount this past year
.
  He was
sixty
if he was a day
.
”
Poppy
shrugged
.  “Declan is your age
,
Parker.  Do y
ou think of yourself as old?” s
he asked
with a sy
r
upy smile.

“Poppy, you are very young
,
” Parker
grumbled
rubbing his eyes
in weariness.  “He is not perfect, h
e does have flaws.  His
hurt
is deep.  The
deaths of his father and brother
were almost too much for him to bear
.  What if he cannot love you back
the way you need to be loved?”

“I’ve been out for t
hree
seasons
.
I’m not exactly a child
.
”
  S
he cocked her head
s
tru
g
gling
for words
.
“
He is the first man that I have been remotely attracted to. 
I have not entirely r
o
manticized my feelings for Declan
.
”
  S
he
strained
to put her thoughts into words
.
“
N
ot yet
,
at least.
N
o one is perfect
,
Parker, not even you
.
”
  S
he arched
an eyebrow.  “
What if I’m in love with him to
o
?
” 
She
paused
for the briefest moment
.
“
Are you trying to warn me from him?”
 
Poppy
knew she had hit a nerve
.  The look on P
arker’s face
said it all
.

Standing up
,
Parker walked to Poppy
.
“
No I am not warning you to stay away from him
and I never said I was perfect.  B
elieve me I would be the last
person to say that.”   He gave her a kiss on the
forehead.  “All I am saying
is that
you barely know him
.
”
H
e
swallowed
thickly
.
“
Declan is m
y
dearest friend; practically another brother
and I love him as such
,
but I fear for
y
our heart
,
Poppy.” 
He closed
his eyes for a moment.  “I do not want you
to rush into an
y
thing
,
”
h
e stressed.  “
Please use care.
”

“
I know you are only trying to protect me
,
Parker
,
”
Poppy said appreciatively.  “I believe that there is something going on with my heart.  Something I have never felt before.  He is a good and honorable man
,
Parker.  You need
n’t
worry,” s
he
stated
without hesitation
. “Trust me to know my own heart
, brother
.  I just need a little time to make sure that what I feel is r
ecipr
o
cated,
”
Poppy said stu
b
bornly.  “Please give me a chance
,
”
s
he pleaded.

Somewhat to Poppy’s surprise, Parker acquiesced.  “I will allow you to indulge this infa
t
uation because I know that there is nothing I can do to dissuade you.  Heaven help me
.
”
H
e
r
e
gard
ed
her
carefully
.
“I do not want to forbid you
,
Poppy. 
In addition,
I definitely do not want to lock you in your room.  But believe me when I say
this
,
I will step
in if I feel it is necessary.”

“
Thank you
,
Parker, I
’
ll be careful
.
”
S
he took
her brother’s hand
.
“I am the only one who
can truly know
my own heart.  I will definitely be vigilant before I give my heart away
,
even if he is a duke.
”
S
he
smiled
.  “You know I am a woman of sense
,
Parker.  Although many think I am c
a
pricious, you of all people know that I do not jump
into most things carelessly.”

“I know
.
”
Parker
grimaced
.
“
I just want to
protect you
.”

Hugging him to her, Poppy chuckled
.  “I
f I am going to live, I will experience pain, you
k
now that.  Now if you will excuse me
, I
see Freya out on the lawn with D
urham
and I
positively
must
see what they are up to
.
”  Poppy trotted out of the study.

Parker flopped back into his chair, crossed his arms over his
chest,
closed his eyes
, and
let out a long breath
.

Such is my love, to thee I so belong,

That for thy right, myself will bear all wrong.

Sonnet 88

*William Shakespeare

D
urham grabbed Freya’s arm,
pull
ing
her out of view of the house.

“
Why must I continually feel the need to dodge your
undesirable
attentions
,
Durham?”  Freya
asked
annoyance palpable in her voice as she
worked diligently at shaking
off his hand.

“I just need a moment of your time.  Please?”  Durham
implored
, t
aking her elbow, he tried to guide her further from the house.

“Please do hurry, Durham
.
”
Freya
begrudgingly conceded
, her jaw tightening
.  “I’m growing weary of these little games you keep playing.”
  Her eyes were sparking in anger.

“Freya, how can you torture me
so?
”  Durham gave her an apologetic look
.  “I did not
h
ing wrong
.
” 
He looked
affronted.

“Durham, I have plans for my life and they do not include placating a
spoiled
little boy
.
”
  S
he
threw him a wary glance
.  “Men co
ntinually make a muddle of life,” she murmured.
 
“
Why can’t you j
ust admit that you made a mistake?”  Freya shook her head stubbornly with her ey
e
brow raised.  “I have to meet Chloe and Poppy in a moment.  Do hurry up.” 
She
said
quietly
.

“I am such a ridiculous fool around you
,
Freya
,” Durham
whispered.

She met his gaze steadily.
 
She was furious with Durham.  Furious that she had gotten her hopes up
and f
ur
ious that she still loved him.

As he advanced, Freya blinked. 

Smiling broadly he groaned, “I am a fool
for you
,
Freya.
” 
Freya stiffened when he whisked her into his arms and crushing his mouth to
her
s
in a bruising kiss.  A whimper e
s
caped her.  Runn
ing his tongue along her crease,
he coaxed her lips open. 
His chest
heaved,
as their
kiss grew more f
e
v
erish,
he ravaged her mouth.

Spreading her hands across his chest,
Durham prayed she wasn’t going to push him away instead she
finally
mel
ted into the heat of his body
at the same time a
surge of heat i
n
vaded his loins. Spearing his fingers into her hair, it tumbled in wild disarray down her back, pins sca
tte
r
ing along the gravel path.

“Freya, please forgive
me
,” he begged against her lips.
 
“
I beg you to overlook my st
u
pidity.  I am just a ridiculous man
.
”
Durham
straightened, his eyes searching
her
s
greedily
l
oo
k
ing for any sign of forgiveness.  “I cannot survive without your forgiveness. Take pity on me.  I am weak with regret.  I cannot su
r
vive without you.
I im
plore you to forgive me.
”