Ruin Me (9 page)

“Well, turns out…” She stands up. “When those small doses come in big spurts of thrusting and moaning, he’s quite the catch.”

I shrug. “Well, you do you, lady,” I say as I swing back into the bathroom to rinse with water.

“As we always say…” She drifts in behind me. “I
really
need to shower.”

“Go ahead. You deserve one more than I do.”

“Disappointing night?” she asks.

“Haven’t decided yet.” I grab my make-up bag off the bathroom counter. “I’ll explain later.”

“Okay then.”

She closes the door behind her and I look about the empty room. My eyes drift to the shared wall between this room and theirs. I hear the gentle hum of their voices behind it, no doubt catching up with each other on last night’s events.

Disappointing night?

Not at all.

Confusing
night?

Now we’re getting somewhere.

***

A new train speeds down the tracks with the four of us inside of it. Mandy and I sit in the corner of the diner car with warm drinks to help wake us up for the almost ten hour trip to Rome.

“So, tell me all about Mr. Munich,” she says as she brings the steaming coffee to her lips.

I think back on the night before, almost forgetting for a brief moment that I even went out in the first place. “Nonexistent,” I answer.

“What? You were gone all night.”

I shake my head. “No — I mean, there were a few candidates, I suppose. But, I don’t know, I just wasn’t in the mood.” I take a sip of my tea and stare out the window at the green world passing by. When I look back at Mandy, I find her gawking at me. “What?” I ask.

“You weren’t
in the mood
?” she parrots back.

I nod. “Yeah. So?”

“
You
weren’t in the mood?” she says again.

“Okay, that’s enough,” I laugh. “I’m not
that
insatiable.”

She shakes her head with a knowing smile. “Uh-huh.” Her lips press together, tight-lipped and silent.

“What?” I ask. She refuses to speak. “Mandy,
what
?”

“I just think…” she begins, “that maybe
somebody
dug his nails a little deeper into you than you think.”

My eyes glance behind her and I spot Kai and Shawn walking into the diner car together. “No,” I finally say. “It’s not like that.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Well, if there was no Mr. Munich, then where were you all night?”

I hesitate, knowing that the answer will be like giving a soda to a four-year-old child. “I was in Kai’s room.” I drink my tea again.

She starts a smooth laugh, purposeful and quiet. “Okay then,” she grins.

“Well, I couldn’t exactly sleep in
my
bed, now could I?” I argue. “Thanks for leaving me stranded, too, by the way.”

“Oh, like you’ve never ditched me for a hook-up,” she scoffs.

“Touche, lady,” I wink. “Kai caught me waiting in the hall. He offered me Shawn’s bed.”

“Did you two make up?”

“I suppose it was not…
unpleasant.
But I think there’s still some smoothing out to do around the edges,” I say.

Mandy rolls her eyes. “Jesus, Piper, it’s a simple yes or no question. Don’t you ever give a direct answer?”

“Not really.” I wink at her.

She laughs. “So, what did you and Mr. Casablancas talk about then?”

“Oh, could you not hear us? Because we could hear
every
word coming out of
your
mouth,” I joke.

Her lips curl into a sultry smile and she moans softly to herself. “I was a bit distracted.”

“Obviously,”
I say. Once again, my eyes drift over Mandy’s shoulder and land on Kai’s amused grin. He’s standing at the counter, laughing softly as he and Shawn chat away while waiting on cups of coffee. “We talked about…
nothing
,” I sigh. “It was absolutely nothing.”

“Did he come onto you?”

“Not even once. I thought for sure he would after finally getting me alone in a hotel room, but it was like we really were siblings — for once.”

“Try not to sound
too
disappointed there, Piper,” she says. “You used to complain constantly about him hitting on you and the one time he doesn’t do it…?”

“I am not unaware of the irony, Mandy,” I say, my eyes on Kai. “I think I might have actually gone a little too far with what I said.”

“Apologize then.”

“He apologized to me,” I say after cracking a quick smile. “Maybe I should.”

Mandy performs a subtle peek over her shoulder at the boys. “Do you think you’ll tell him about—”

“No.”

“Well…” She raises her cup to her lips. “It doesn’t get more direct than that.”

I take a deep breath and force myself to stare out the window instead.

“Hello, ladies…”

I look up to find Shawn and Kai standing above our table. “Hi,” I greet. Shawn’s eyes linger lovingly on Mandy and I suddenly feel like a broken third wheel. “I think I’m going to go take my seat,” I say as I stand up.

Shawn slips into the chair after me and just like that, Kai and I no longer exist to them.

“I’ll go with you,” Kai says. He looks at me and rolls his eyes before we both walk out of the diner car. We make our way back to our compartment together. “And here I thought Shawn was going to be bored on this trip,” he says as he sits down.

I take the seat across from him. “Oh, you mean while you were busy making time with me?” I ask.

He pauses and tilts his head. “Honestly, yes.”

My tongue feels raw inside my head. If I don’t say it, I’ll obsess over it until I do. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you last night.” The words spill out quickly, soft on the air. “I’m sorry.”

He smirks. “For what you said during the ‘
I Never’
game or for saying my mother was good at giving head?”

“The game, obviously,” I answer. “I meant every word about your mom.”

He laughs. “Fair enough.” His eyes glance me up and down. “You don’t have to be sorry, Pipes. I deserved it. The bet was stupid.”

“Then why even make it?” I ask.

“Seemed like a decent idea at the time,” he explains. He looks at me with narrow eyes. “How did you know about it?”

“Really?” I ask. “You don’t remember?”

He stares at me with a confused expression. “Remember what?”

I chuckle as the memory takes shape in my mind. “I was there when you made it,” I say.

“No, you weren’t—”

“We were fifteen,” I interrupt. “It was right after our parents started dating and my dad made me host your stupid birthday party at our house.”

“But—” He leans forward. “Shawn and I made that bet
after
the party…”

“In the pool house.” I glance out the window as a vineyard stretches out for miles. “I was hiding in the corner with a book. You guys didn’t notice me there for like an hour.”

“Goddamn…” he whispers as he puts it all together.

“Idiot…” I fight the smile climbing my face. “I didn’t think you were serious until word of your hook-ups started spreading around the girls in our class sophomore year. I pretty much put it together for myself after that.”

“It
wasn’t
serious,” he says, “at first.
Then
…” he rocks his head back and forth, “things — admittedly — got a little out of hand.”

“I’ll agree with that,” I say. “It was awkward enough avoiding you in the halls at school. After you and your mom moved in, I had to do it at home, too.”

“Sorry,” he says. I look him in the eyes and I see genuine remorse shining through. “I
never
thought it’d get this far.”

“You never thought you’d be so desperate to fuck me, you’d stalk me all the way to Europe?” I ask.

He laughs. “Nope. I did not.” His eyes linger on me and the smile drops from his face. “Did you ever think about going for it?”

“Going for what?” I ask.

“Pipes...” He raises an eyebrow. “Be honest.”

I stare at him and bite my inner lip. “Yes,” I finally answer.

He blinks slowly. “Did you ever want to?”

I hold my lips together, tight and true, to keep myself from answering. Did I ever think about giving in and spending the night with Kai Casablancas? Of course, I did. Every human being at Belle Academy with two X chromosomes thought about it at least once. It would have been easy, too. We live under the same roof, in a large mansion full of empty rooms to sneak into. No one would have ever known — until the day when everyone knew.

The compartment door flies open before I’m forced to answer. I breathe a sigh of relief at Mandy and Shawn’s impeccable timing. They each sit down, their laughter and giggles filling the silent void taking shape in the room.

“I’m going to hit the ladies’ room,” I say as I hop out of my seat. I can feel Kai’s eyes on me. He wants my answer, but I can’t in good conscious admit it to him.

The restroom sits down the train from our compartment. I move slowly with shaking knees. The train rocks back and forth as I move, making me even more dizzy. I slide the restroom door open and slam it closed behind me.

There’s no real space in the tiny quarters, so I close my eyes to curb the dreadful squeeze inching in around me. I inhale slowly, filling my lungs full of the musky air and keeping it there until I absolutely have to breathe again.

Kai Casablancas.
Never in my life has he ever had this much of an effect on me. I stare at myself in the mirror and notice the perfect pink rouge on my pearl-white cheeks. I bite my lip and bend over to splash water on my face.

It all started last night. I was on the street, looking for a hook-up in Munich, but every guy I looked at had his face. At first, I thought it was just guilt over what I said to him, but it slowly dawned on me that this was something way more complicated than that. I was angry, so
very
angry, when he appeared on the train in front of me in Berlin with that shit-eating grin on his face. But deep down, I was fucking impressed. He was doing everything in his power to earn my body. I got so used to it over the years. Now that I’ve effectively destroyed his chances, and he’s backed off, I miss the constant attention he gave me.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I look up and shake my head at myself in the mirror as I dab the water away with a paper towel.

Why cause trouble, you stupid fucking idiot? Let it go.

I jolt the restroom door open and nearly jump out of my skin. “Kai—” I gasp as his face fills my vision. He steps forward and places both hands on my fevered cheeks. I’m pulled in for a silent kiss, sweet and warm. His lips envelope my own and I get my first official taste of Kai Casablancas.

He pulls away almost as quickly as it began. “I just wanted to be able to say I’ve done that,” he whispers. “I’m sorry.”

And just like that, he turns around and disappears from my sight.

I reach up and touch my lips. I can still feel him on me. That gentle memory of his teeth marking my bottom lip. I let them drop from my fingertips, tingling numb in the dark.

Oh, I’m in trouble now.

Chapter 10

Kai

I stare at the window as yet another damn vineyard passes us by. What the hell is it with Italy and vineyards, anyway? Everywhere I look, it’s another vineyard. Taunting me, baiting me. Looking at me with those tranquil blue eyes and those perfect, red lips.

Fucking vineyards, man.

The compartment door opens and Piper steps inside.

“Did you get lost?” Mandy jokes. “You’ve been gone for like an hour.”

She takes the seat across from me, her eyes refusing to even glance in my direction. “No, I just needed to stretch my legs a while.”